“Not yet.”
“You’re asking me for a lot, and giving me nothing in return.”
“I’m a good friend when I try, and I’ll try harder for you than I’ve ever tried in my life.”
How can I say no to that? “Okay. Friends.”
“Thank you.”
I don’t say anything, because I don’t know what to say. I was heartbroken when he didn’t acknowledge me, hopeful when I saw him in the hallway with my food, and now I’m a little sad. Sad, and disappointed.
“I’m going to start working with Reina tomorrow,” I say, trying to break this awkward silence we’ve descended into. “She asked me to help women like me, who have to be hidden.”
“You’ll be great at that.”
“I hope so.”
“You will.”
His faith in me makes me feel better. He was always my biggest champion when we were friends, and then lovers, and I know he’ll support me now.
“Thanks.”
“Do you want to go to a movie tomorrow?” he blurts out, turning red. It’s the most adorable thing I’ve seen in a long time. “As friends, I mean. To celebrate your new job.”
“Yes. I’d like that.”
“You can pick.”
“Can we go to the movie theater downtown where they serve you dinner?”
“Sure.”
I start to think about what I want to wear, and then stop myself. This isn’t a date, and it doesn’t matter what I wear. I try to keep the smile on my face, but it must’ve slipped, because Rhys reaches out to take my hand.
“What’s wrong, Vivs?”
“Nothing.”
“People only say that when it’s something.”
“Or when it’s nothing.”
“Tell me. We’re friends, remember?”
“Okay, friend. What do I do when I want to dress for a date, but it’s not one?”
He blows out a long breath. “You dress the way you want, and know your friend is going to appreciate whatever you choose.”
“I’ll probably just throw on jeans and a t-shirt.”
“Whatever you want.”
No, it’s not. It’s not at all what I want. But, it’s what I have, and it’s more than what I had yesterday. Being thankful for small favors has never been so hard before.
CHAPTER 14
RHYS
“I saw Viv last night,” I tell my therapist, Maura, the next day. I’m seeing her daily, because I need to.
“How did that go?”
“Bad, then a little better.”
“Care to elaborate?”
I chuckle, but tell her what happened. She listens, nodding a few times, before shaking her head.
“You’re making me nervous,” I admit.
“Matt is a great guy, but I think either he gave you bad advice, or you took what he said the wrong way.”
“You don’t think I should be friends with Viv?”
“Of course, you should be friends with her. But, you left things in a bad place with her in Wales, and now you’re putting her in the friend-zone the first time you see her. She’s got to be a saint for agreeing.”
“She is. And I guess I just needed to do something—say something—to try and connect with her.”
“You didn’t tell her you were talking to me, did you?”
“No. I’m not ready.”
“I don’t want you doing anything you don’t feel you can, but I have to caution you to be ready for the consequences. Your friends in this building know you’re seeing me, but the woman you love doesn’t. It’s going to hurt her if you wait too long to tell her, and she realizes she was the last to know.”
“They won’t tell.”
“No, but eventually you’ll have to.”
She’s right, but there has to be a way to make it better for both me and Viv. “Can it happen here, with you?”
“Yes, but it may not make a difference to her. I’ll be here to support you, and advocate on your behalf, but it’s up to you to make amends if it she’s hurt. I just want you to understand that.”
“I do.”
The rest of the session goes well, as we talk about what I’m doing to help myself cope with letting my past go. It’s intense, but soothing, and I feel like I’ll one day be back to the way I was before everything bad happened. Back to when Viv and I were teens, and the actions of others forced us apart. Now, I’m the one who’s doing that myself, but I’ll make it better. I have to.
“How’s your day going?” Rhieve asks when I join her for lunch later.
“My session went well.”
“Good. Viv’s here, starting work today.”
“I know.”
“Oh. I didn’t know Reina talked to you about it.”
“She didn’t. Viv told me last night.”
“Last night?”
“Long story short, we’re friends.”
She puts down her fork, and pins me with a glare. “Please tell me you didn’t give her a ‘let’s be friends’ talk.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Why are men so stupid?” she asks, groaning.
“You and Calum were friends first.”
“When we were kids, and you’ve already been friends first with Viv.”
“Yeah, but we need to get that back. The trust, and all.”
“You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself, which just goes to show what a bad idea this is.”
“Well, what’s a good idea?”
“You honestly want to know what I think?”
“I do.”
“Instead of asking her to start over as friends with you, ask her to officially be your girlfriend for the first time. Act like you’re thirteen again, and wanting to hold her hand.”
Whoa. Sometimes my sister really gets it. Probably more than sometimes, but I’m not going to tell her that. I will tell her what I think right now, though.
“You’re right.”
“Took you long enough to realize it. You should’ve come to me first.”
“Yeah, yeah. You’re the best. Blah, blah, blah.”
“You realize how often you live up to the annoying little brother stereotype, right?”
“Just keeping you on your toes, Sis.”
“Calum does that enough for everyone. You just worry about you and Viv.”
“I do. I worry all the time,” I admit, getting serious again.
“She’s upstairs in Stella’s closet, picking out some work clothes.”
“If you don’t mind me ditching you, I think I’ll head up there to see if I can help her choose something for our date.”
“Date?”
“It was supposed to be just a movie with a friend, but I like the idea of a first date much better.”
“So do I. Go get your woman, little bro.”
I kiss her forehead before taking my tray to where it goes. As I take the elevator up I try to plan what to say, but in the end, I decide to just bare my heart to Viv. She already owns it, so it should be easy. Yeah, I’m not dumb enough to believe that, but a guy can start to hope, can’t he?
VIV
I’m in Stella’s closet, choosing work clothes, but coveting the fun and flirty dresses I see on another rack. If the situation was better, I’d be asking for one to wear tonight. But, it’s just a movie with a friend. I have to keep reminding myself of that, because it feels like so much more.
“You can have some of those dresses you keep looking at,” Stella tells me with a smile.
“Those are date dresses, and I won’t be going on any dates.”
Her assistant, Kevin, waves his hand at me. “You could have a date in seconds. Half the cafeteria had their tongues on the ground when you were in there earlier.”
“I don’t want any of those guys.”
“Good.”
I turn to see Rhys standing in the doorway. His hair is messy, and he’s in jeans and a t-shirt. He looks like the boy I fell in love with, and I have to grab t
he clothing rack, so I don’t grab him.
“Rhys, did we have an appointment?”
He speaks to Stella, but doesn’t take his eyes off mine. “No, I’m here for Viv.”
“Viv?” she asks, but I don’t look her way. All I can do is nod. “Kevin and I will give you some privacy.”
“Do we have to?” he asks.
“Yes.”
Once the door closes, Rhys moves to stand directly in front of me. “Hi.”
“Hello.”
“I made a mistake last night.”
My face falls as I wonder what he did. Was he with someone else? “Another woman?”
“What? I told you there was no one but you. How could you even think that?”
“This isn’t easy for me, Rhys.”
“I know, and I’m trying.”
“So am I.”
“We can’t move forward if you’re not going to believe me when I tell you something.”
“Doling out little bits of information to me isn’t making it easy for me to believe you.”
“I’m just going to go now, because this isn’t going at all like it was supposed to.”
“Yeah, just run from me again, like always.”
“That’s not fair, Viv.”
“None of this is fair, but if you’re going to keep running every time we hit a rough spot, you might as well just stay away.”
He turns his head away, and I see the tic in his jaw as he holds back from saying more. “Have a great life.”
“You too.”
And then he’s gone. Again. Only this time, I’m pretty sure it’s the end.
“Are you okay?” Stella asks, rushing back in.
“No, but I’m going to have to be.”
“Rhys looked really upset, if that’s any consolation.”
“It’s not, but thanks. I know he loves me, but he can’t get past himself.”
“From what I’ve heard, he’s struggling.”
“He is, but so am I. Everyone seems to forget that.”
“We’re not forgetting, but we’re prioritizing. Right now, he needs more help than you do. That doesn’t diminish what you’re feeling, but it does come into play.”
“He wouldn’t even tell me what’s going on, so I’m not feeling as generous right now.”
“I understand.”
“Thanks for the clothes. I think I’m done for now, and I’m just going to head over to my office.”
“Of course. I’ll have the clothes taken to your apartment.”
“I appreciate it.”
I head straight to my office, and slump over my desk, resting my head on the surface. This is all such a mess, and a part of me wishes I’d never upset the balance of my old world. If I’d just left things as they were, I’d still be miserable, but I wouldn’t have the hope I’d felt when Rhys said he still loved me.
The knock at my door forces me to lift my head, and clear those thoughts out of it. “Come in.”
“Hey, Viv. I’m about to go out, and check on one of the women we have in hiding. Reina thought you might like to come along,” Jade asks, as she walks in.
“Oh. Sure. That would be great.”
She tilts her head, sighs, and then nods. “We can talk after, if you’d like.”
“Talk?”
“Yeah. I think we need to, but I’ll explain later.”
“Okay.”
I don’t know what she needs to talk to me about, but it sounds serious. Then again, she often looks serious when I see her. There are times, when she’s with her husband, Nate, where she’s absolutely glowing with happiness and laughter, but most of the time, she’s pretty intense. It’s intimidating, and I expect that’s the point, but I’m not sure I want all that intensity directed at me.
CHAPTER 15
VIV
The house Jade drives us to isn’t the same one I overnighted at, but it looks similar. I guess that’s the point—blending in. She’s even driving a simple Toyota Camry instead of the tricked-out Audi I saw her getting into this morning. I take mental notes, because all of these little details will help me do the job Reina hired me for.
After parking, Jade walks with purpose towards the front door, and I follow her, trying to match her stride. Everything is quiet on this street, and nothing seems out of the ordinary when the woman opens the door. She looks scared, but so did I for those first few days after I escaped.
“I wasn’t expecting you so early,” the woman says, and now I’m getting a sense that there’s something going on.
Jade reaches for the gun at her back, letting me know she’s feeling something’s off as well. “Can we come in?”
“Not today. I just need to be alone.”
Before I know what’s happening, Jade’s pushed the woman aside and has her gun raised as she runs inside. I move to follow her, but I’m grabbed from behind. The barrel of a gun is against my temple, and a muscular arm bands my own, keeping me from moving. I haven’t had any of the training Reina promised me, so I’m helpless to fight.
“We’re going to go inside. Not a peep out of you, or I’m pulling this trigger.”
I have no choice as he moves me with him towards the door. The woman is still standing there, her hand over her mouth now. I don’t know how he found her, but I know I’m in trouble. I want to yell, and warn Jade, but I also want to live.
“Where is he?” Jade asks, coming down the stairs, and freezing when she sees us.
“Put the gun down,” the man tells her.
“I’m sorry! I know you said not to call him, but I missed him!” The woman is wailing now, realizing how wrong she was to believe this man and his lies again.
“I’m an expert markswoman, and I can easily shoot you before you shoot anyone else,” Jade tells him, her voice calm and icy.
“I wouldn’t take that chance if I were you,” he says, pressing the gun firmly into my temple.
“Good thing, I’m not you,” she replies, pulling the trigger.
The man holding me jerks back as blood, and other things I don’t want to identify, hit the side of my face. The gun goes off as he falls, and I feel a sharp pain in my shoulder. I realize my own blood is flowing down my arm, and it makes me feel like I’m going to faint.
“Viv!” Jade yells, but it sounds far away.
I see her running toward me, as my eyes begin to close, and my body pitches forward, but I can’t say anything. It’s like my mouth is sewn together while my body is torn open. Arms catch me before I hit the ground, and I know it’s her, so I let my eyes close all the way and welcome the darkness that takes me away from it all.
RHYS
After things went south with Viv, I headed to the private Society gym to let off some steam. I probably shouldn’t have reacted so badly to her questioning me, because I’ve let her down before, but I let myself hope for the best. It’s not really her fault I was disappointed. I know that logically, but my heart is still a little battered and I let it guide me instead.
As I up the incline on the treadmill, pushing myself harder, the door in front of me opens, and Nate runs in. “We have to go!”
“Go where?” I ask, slowing the machine down.
“Jade and Viv walked into something bad, and they’re on the way downstairs to the medical wing.”
“Is she hurt?”
“Yes.”
I jump off the machine, even though I know better, and race for the door. The elevator is waiting for us at the end of the hall, and it’s not fast enough. I feel it rushing down, but I need it to go faster. I need to get to Viv.
“Take some deep breaths before you pass out, Rhys.”
“We just had a fight, and I walked out on her again. Why did I do that?”
“Because you’re still healing.”
“I should’ve stayed, and taken what she was dishing out. I started the conversation badly, by telling her I made a mistake. With my past, I can’t blame her for thinking the worst. I should’ve stayed and told her what I meant.�
��
“Staying is hard, but yeah, it’s important. You can’t dwell on that now, or you’re going to make yourself insane. Just think about her being alive.”
“How bad is it?”
“I don’t know. Reina said she’s been shot, but that’s all I know.”
“Shot?” I ask, stumbling out of the elevator.
“It’s not bad,” Rhieve says, rushing to me. “She’s going to be okay.”
“Where is she? I need to see her?”
“She’ll be here in a few minutes. You have to let Kenny do his job, and then you can go to her.”
“No. I need to be in there.”
“Stella told us you fought this morning, and Viv’s going to need to be calm and stable while Kenny works on her.”
“I wouldn’t upset her.”
“You wouldn’t want to, but it happens sometimes, and I know you don’t want to cause her more pain.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Let’s sit down, and wait. I’m going to stay here with you, okay? I’m here for you, Rhys.”
“Thank you.”
Nate doesn’t speak at all, but takes the seat next to me in the waiting area. Most of the Society is already here, but no one is saying a word. That worries me more than almost anything else. If things were really okay, they’d be talking.
When a set of wide doors bangs open, and I see Viv on a stretcher, I stand quickly, only to almost pass out as she’s rushed past us. Rhieve holds me up as Nate runs to Jade.
He runs his hands all over her face, and shoulders, before kissing her forehead, and whispering in her ear. She hugs him tightly, and shakes her head. I feel like I shouldn’t be watching this, but I can’t look away.
Once he’s sure she’s okay, Nate leads Jade over to us. She looks distraught as she approaches Reina. “I thought he was in the house.”
“I know. This isn’t your fault.”
“I should’ve seen his finger on the trigger when I shot him.”
Reina stands, and places her hands on Jade’s shoulders. “You saved all three of you.”
Defiant Company (Company Men Book 5) Page 9