“How’s your mom horrible?” Destiny leaned forward like a kid at story time.
“Total tennis mom,” Peggy said lightly, but the term bore none of the humor it had when Jay had used it with Sadie. “Complete micromanager, from my clothes down to the guys she wanted me to date. And don’t even get me started on the money. I can’t begin to estimate how many of my paychecks went to cover her manicures or massages.”
“Whoa,” Des said, then glanced at Sadie, “and I was mad at you for making us share a room for so long.”
“Yeah, well, just remember that next time you get sulky with me after a loss. I might not have all the answers, but at least I’m not a tennis mom.”
Jay chuckled. “You’re totally a tennis mom.”
“Excuse me?” Sadie’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, more at the fact that Jay had addressed her without having to, rather than at the comment itself.
“You’re a total tennis mom,” Jay repeated, then rushed to add, “not the nightmare variety like Peggy’s mom, but you’re still one hundred percent in the game, on the tour, at the practices.”
Hank made a sound like he had something stuck in his throat.
“Not that it’s a bad thing,” Peggy said quickly. “It’s just, um, a newer thing. People as old as Jay aren’t totally used to having so many parents around.”
“Oh, yes,” Sadie said, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “I’m sure that’s probably what she meant.”
“I’ve never even heard you mention your parents,” Des said, as if she she’d never considered the thought before, then with a teasing lilt in her voice added, “Do you even have a family, or were you raised by wolves?”
“Wolves,” Jay said dryly, then looked over her shoulder at the city without elaborating.
“Where did that waiter get to?” Hank asked impatiently. “I’m all for this relaxed European time schedule, but not until after the wine arrives.”
“I hear you.” Peggy picked up a menu as if she might use it to shield herself from the awkwardness around her. “I’m on a self-imposed training curfew. Maybe we can all be ready to order whenever he deigns to come back up here.”
“I always liked you,” Hank said, picking up his menu and burying his face between the folds.
Everyone else at the table joined in, everyone but Jay. Sadie watched her surreptitiously over the edge of her laminated sushi list. She seemed to have drifted off as her eyes stared off toward the horizon. Only the faintest hints of orange remained from the setting sun, but it cast her face in a warm aura. The image would have been serenely beautiful if not for the undercurrent of pain in Jay’s eyes. It wasn’t as plainly visible as the moment when she’d practically run from Sadie’s embrace, but she could see the uncertainty there now, more than she had over the past few days.
She wanted almost desperately to reach across Hank and take Jay’s hand in her own, to give it a squeeze or lead her away and beg her to open up, but even if she had felt comfortable doing so in front of the others, Jay had made it clear she didn’t want that. Sadie didn’t understand her decision, or the anguish that came with it, but she’d had to ward off more than a few advances over the years for reasons she didn’t want to explain, so she respected those boundaries. The thought bothered her though. Did Jay see her the same way Sadie saw the men who tried to angle their way into her and Destiny’s lives?
The kiss hadn’t seemed unwelcomed at first. Jay had melted into her with the most amazing mix of surrender and command. Her face grew hot again at the memory of Jay’s body, so long and strong, providing a contrast to the softness of her lips. She hadn’t kissed like a conflicted woman. Her struggle only emerged after they broke apart, and even then, it hadn’t fully taken hold until they’d gotten several more scorching kisses out of their systems. Still, Jay had pulled away, and she had stayed away, at least emotionally. Sadie didn’t know how to reconcile the woman who’d poured so much passion into a few heated moments with the disconnect she felt watching Jay now.
Mercifully a waiter appeared, and everyone ordered uneventfully before Peggy turned to Destiny and made another attempt at polite conversation. “Who do you have first in the draw?”
“Maria Cruz,” Des said with a grimace. “She knocked me out of the Australian open.”
“She’s got a wicked forehand slice,” Peggy commiserated. “She took me out at the knees in Cincinnati last year, but she hates clay.”
“Really?” Hank leaned forward. “Why’s that?”
“Probably because it messes with her flawless skin tone,” Peggy said, then grinned. “Was that catty of me?”
“Not at all,” Jay said drolly. “You merely put down a woman’s professional shortcomings to her appearance. Any speculation as to why I underperform on clay?”
Peggy snorted but didn’t miss a beat. “Because you, my dear, don’t like to play dirty.”
Jay stared at her for a moment, then threw back her head and laughed. “Well played.”
“It’s the truth,” Hank said. “I mean, maybe not about the clay, but the playing dirty part. If you were willing to pull half the shit people have pulled on you over the years, you’d have made a lot more money.”
“But then I’d have a lot fewer friends,” Jay shot back quickly, her eyes regaining some of their usual mischief. “And you all know I’m extremely popular. I mean, like, you don’t even know how many people invited me to dinner tonight.”
“What? You had other dinner options?” Peggy gave her a friendly shove. “I only came out with you tonight because I felt bad for your lonely-ass self.”
“We invited her,” Hank said with a little frown. “We invite her every night.”
“Oh, Hank,” Peggy laughed. “You do love yourself some hopeless cases, don’t you?”
“Des, I think she might have implied something about you there,” Jay said quickly. “You better beat her in your quarter of the draw so I don’t have to face her in the semis.”
“No, then you’d have to face me. Are you saying that’d be an easier road for you?”
“Ouch,” Jay said, rubbing her jaw. “I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”
Peggy wrapped her arm around Destiny’s shoulders. “I like you, kid. Stick with your Auntie Peggy here, and we’ll gang up on Jay together.”
“Oh, I’m throwing in the towel.” Jay tossed her napkin dramatically on the table. “Two against one. What is this, Canadian doubles?”
The conversation spun on around her, as everyone seemed to talk at once. Destiny had jumped in with the joking, and normally that would’ve been enough for Sadie, but as she watched Jay come back to life before her eyes, she couldn’t help but feel another twinge of disappointment. She’d hated to see her hurt, but at least when she’d been withdrawn Sadie had been able to tell herself Jay must be dealing with something dark and painful, deep inside of her. Now, watching her laugh and touch and joke with every other person at the table, Sadie had to wonder if Jay’s conflict wasn’t internal, but rather something specific to her.
★ ★ ★
“I almost crapped my pants when I turned around and saw them standing there,” Peggy said, laughter still ringing in her voice as she flopped onto Jay’s hotel bed.
Jay didn’t find the memory quite so amusing, but she didn’t have to say so. Peggy had kept the conversation going all night. She didn’t want to seem ungrateful for her help, but she didn’t want to keep reliving or rehashing the evening now that it had finally ended.
“You looked like you were going to be seasick. Your skin even went a little greenish-gray. I thought I might have to hold your hair while you heaved over the side of the building.”
“Come on.” Jay leaned up against the dresser and folded her arms across her chest. “I wasn’t that bad.”
“Maybe not to someone who hasn’t seen you melt down before, but I could tell you were close.”
“First of all, I recovered quickly. Second of all, this is nothing like the last time. I won’
t let it get as far as last time.”
Peggy sat up. “Of course not, which is why you’ve gone out with me two nights in one week after dodging every one of my invitations for, like, five years.”
“Not five years. I went through hell, and I was off the tour because of the hell, and then I was playing basically in the bush leagues to get points, then I was off the tour for my knees and then—”
“You had a phone.” Peggy drolly cut in. “Did you use it?”
“We’re talking about going out, and I’ve only been back for, like, a year.”
“A year in which we had drinks outside official functions what, once?” Peggy raised her hand, cutting off Jay’s protest before she could give it voice. “I get it. I’m not complaining. I’m glad to have you back for any reason, but let’s not pretend you’re not using me to jock block Tennis Mom, okay?”
“Tennis mom,” Jay repeated. “Tennis mom, tennis mom, tennis mom.”
Peggy rolled onto her side and stared at her. “Does that help?”
“What?”
“Tucking her into a nice little box labeled, ‘my doubles partner’s mom’?” She practically giggled when she said the words. “Sorry. I mean, it’s not funny, but it’s kind of funny.”
“Not even a little funny. I’m in the middle of my comeback here. I worked years to get to a good place, first emotionally, then physically. I’m finally feeling good about myself. I don’t want to backslide.”
“I don’t want you to either, but I also don’t want you to be alone forever. Hermit is not a good look on you.”
“I’m not a hermit, and I’m not talking about forever. I’ve got a couple years at most to secure my legacy as something other than a scandal. I want to spend that time focused on tennis.”
“Also, you promised Destiny you wouldn’t sleep with her tennis mom.”
Jay tried in vain to roll some of the tension from her neck. “Yes, I did.”
“And that promise means a lot to you. I get it. I’m not saying it shouldn’t. God knows, in this business, someone who keeps their word even when it goes against their own self-interest, well, it’s a rare quality, but—” Peggy got to her feet and placed a hand on each of Jay’s shoulders. “It was an unfair promise to ask of someone.”
Jay let her head fall forward until her chin touched her chest to avoid her own troubled reflection in Peggy’s green eyes. “Normally I’d agree with you.”
“Normally? Under what circumstances does a teenager get to tell a business associate or her mother who they can or cannot date?” Peggy gave her a shake. “Hell, my mother picked my partners both on and off the court for years after I became of legal age, and I’m not saying you need to go that far, but if two consenting adults want to make out in the privacy of a hotel room, I don’t see why the kid gets a vote on the issue.”
“You know it’s not that simple. She’s not some typical high school senior, and nothing on this tour stays private for long. She’s protecting herself, her brand, and her mother all at once. It’s smart, and it’s admirable.”
“It’s controlling.”
“Do you honestly think, given my past, that her concerns are unfounded?”
“Maybe not unfounded, but a lot of her assumptions are based on lies. If you told her the truth—”
“The truth doesn’t matter to the press!” Jay exploded, as a week’s worth of frustration boiled to the surface. “It doesn’t matter to players who want to gain the upper hand. It doesn’t matter to the fans. I hate that, but I know my reputation, and I know how hard it is to change it. Do you really think it’s fair to put Destiny in the same position as she tries to get her career off the ground? You saw her tonight. Do you really think she deserves to be subjected to that kind of circus?”
Peggy frowned, and Jay took the opportunity to shake her off. “At first, I pegged her for a spoiled brat, but she’s every bit as strong as Sadie, and her heart’s in the right place. She’d willingly forgo doubles completely to take care of someone who’s always taken care of her.”
“Sadie doesn’t strike me as someone who needs protecting. She’s a grown-ass woman, a smart, resilient, and damn good-looking woman. She didn’t get a kid this far on her own without learning to make her own choices and assess her own risks.”
“It wouldn’t be an informed decision or a calculated risk. She doesn’t know about what happened.”
“Then tell her!”
“And what?” Jay paced the room despite the tweak of tightness in her knee. “Make her choose between me and her daughter? What a terrible position to be in for all of us. And to what end? Maybe we have some fun, maybe we make a good match for a while, but then what? There’s no happily ever after in this business.”
“There could be.”
Jay shook her head
“Agassi and Graf.”
“What?”
“Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf,” Peggy said triumphantly. “They got a happily ever after.”
“After she retired,” Jay said, quickly tamping down the little flutter of hope in her chest. “And they’re just one example. You know how the odds are stacked against a pairing like them. Hell, how many of your mixed doubles partners have you dated?”
Peggy shrugged. “A few.”
“And how many of them did you manage to keep playing with after you split?”
Peggy mumbled something unintelligible.
“How many?”
“None.”
“Exactly,” Jay said emphatically. “Business romances don’t end well even under the best of circumstances. They sure as hell won’t work if you pile all my excess baggage on top of an already fraught situation.”
“So, you ignore all your feelings, and hers, and hope they go away? Because that ended so well last week. You can’t hide from her forever.”
Jay shook her head. “No, and I don’t have to. I survived dinner tonight.”
“Barely.”
“I needed some time to pull myself together. My emotions were raw, and I had too much downtime, but once the tournament starts on Monday, I’ll go into business mode, and it’ll be fine. Destiny’s a crucial part of my career at the moment, and I won’t do anything to screw up our chances.”
“And what about Sadie? What about what she wants?”
“She wants what’s best for her daughter, no matter what.” Jay’s jaw tightened, but she managed to force out the next few words. “She made it clear the day we met. She doesn’t love anything as much as she loves Destiny.”
There, she’d said it. Destiny came first for Sadie, and Sadie came first for Destiny. She would never be on the inside of their circle. Now she just needed to remember that fact, no matter how good Sadie smelled or felt or tasted or looked. Jay had to pack Sadie back into a tiny box labeled Tennis Mom, and then do everything in her power to keep her there.
Chapter Seven
Paris, France
“Yes!” Sadie shouted loudly. Her own fist pump mirrored Destiny’s and Jay’s as the ball clipped the baseline two feet to the right of their back-court opponent. She turned to hug Hank. “Quarter-finals here we come!”
“That’s three wins down, three more to go,” he said, as he turned to applaud Jay and Destiny with the rest of the crowd.
“Let’s just enjoy this one for a minute, okay?” Sadie said. Her heart needed some time to recuperate from the thumping it’d taken during the last hour and a half.
Everyone had tried to warn her that a major would be a whole different experience, but she thought she’d been prepared. She’d been to the Australian Open, so she’d expected the bigger stadium and thicker crowds. What she hadn’t taken into account, though, was Destiny and Jay’s rise in popularity. Even in the third round, they’d been given a priority time slot right before a headline match in men’s singles on court N1, which was the first court outside the mammoth stadiums reserved for marquee events. The circular arena had over 800 seats, and glancing around, Sadie estimated more than half of them were
full. In a matter of weeks, they’d gone from fourteen spectators to four hundred, and that number was likely to double for the next round, which would be played on the biggest court of the complex, Philippe-Chatrier.
Sadie shook her head and smiled. So much for staying in the moment. Even she couldn’t help but get swept away by the excitement of it all. They were still playing in the second week of a major tournament. At least in the doubles. Destiny had been knocked out of singles the day before in a tight fourth-round match, but even she hadn’t seemed devastated about the loss, perhaps because she’d played well enough to exceed most people’s expectations, but Sadie suspected having a doubles match to prepare for had gone a long way toward warding off her depression and keeping her focused on something positive. Instead of sinking into a funk and waiting for the next tournament to start, she hit the practice courts with a determination to keep her French Open alive. And now her smile was back in full as she collected her things and headed for the exit, stopping only to sign a few autographs along the way.
Jay trailed behind her, with a slightly more subdued expression. She hadn’t been quite as exuberant in her play, but then again, she’d also seemed more focused, so maybe the trade-off was warranted. She’d remained steadfastly professional despite taking a beating in the third round of singles. In fact, she hadn’t broken a racket or been fined in weeks. Sadie couldn’t help but notice that the time frame coincided with her and Destiny’s doubles pairing. Was that why Jay hadn’t wanted to kiss her? Because she didn’t want to jeopardize her relationship with Destiny? The logic added up, but not enough to explain the emotional turmoil Sadie had seen in her that night, or her ensuing distance when she could’ve easily explained herself to everyone involved and worked something out.
“What’s wrong?” Hank nudged her toward the end of the row.
“Nothing. Why?”
“You’re blocking the aisle and scowling like someone asked Des a stupid question. Are you already dreading the press conference?”
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