Resisting the New Doc In Town

by Clark, Lucy

  As his mouth moved over hers, power and passion combined, both of them breathing unsteadily as they allowed themselves to be gathered up in the glorious sensations of a first kiss. While Richard may have felt like he’d waited an eternity for such a moment, his sluggish mind could at least acknowledge that any dreams or thoughts he’d had about kissing Bergan had been seriously underrated. The real Bergan was so much better than anything he’d ever contemplated, and his heart swelled with an emotion so huge he was almost too afraid to accept it. Almost…

  To realise he was in love with Bergan was one thing, to tell her of his feelings was something completely different, especially as they were only just now sharing their first real and honest moment together.

  He loved Bergan! Could it be possible? The realisation brought with it a thousand more questions, but, he decided, there was plenty of time for internalisation, and right now he wanted to concentrate on savouring every moment of her mouth moving perfectly against his own.

  There was an uncontrollable need powering through them both, as though they’d been denying themselves for far too long and now that things had built to a frenzy, they were unable to quell it.

  He gathered her closer, pressing their bodies close together, wishing they weren’t dressed in retrieval overalls, as they were hardly the most romantic of outfits, but at the same time unable to really care.

  As his mouth continued to create utter havoc with her senses, Bergan wanted nothing more than for the fire pulsing through them to take its natural course. Richard made her feel so…alive and she couldn’t remember ever feeling this way.

  That realisation should have been enough to scare her, to make her break off the kiss and to push free from his arms, and yet she found herself moaning with pleasure against his lips as she plunged her fingers once more into his hair. The action caused Richard to slow things down just a fraction, but somehow the intensity kept building.

  The hunger was still there, but now his lips were more tender. Her heart rate continued to increase, and Bergan was sure that if she’d been hooked up to an ECG machine, she’d have broken it with her off-the-chart heartbeat. She leaned against him, unable to trust her own legs to hold her up. She knew Richard would hold her, that he would ensure she didn’t fall—that was the level of trust she had in him—and this time warning bells did start to ring at the back of her mind. She ignored them.

  Again and again his perfect and powerful mouth continued to bring forth a surprising and passionate response from her. How was it possible that with a masterful stroke of his tongue, gently caressing her lips, he was able to flood her body with tingles, make her go weak at the knees and cause her mind to stop working? Who was this man? Was he too good to be true?

  Another warning bell began to ring, but once again Bergan ignored it.

  When he broke his mouth from hers and started pressing a trail of fiery kisses across her cheek and down her neck, nuzzling near her ear, Bergan tilted her head to the side, eagerly allowing him access as she rapidly sucked air into her lungs.

  ‘You are the most stunningly beautiful woman in the world,’ he breathed, punctuating his words with little kisses, and she was pleased to note he was just as affected by the kiss as she was. His hands were splayed widely across her back, holding and supporting her, which was something she wanted him to go on doing for ever. Constant, unwavering support.

  ‘For ever?’ She whispered the words into the air surrounding them—and instantly wished she hadn’t spoken out loud. Then again, it was difficult for her to control her thoughts when her mind had been turned to mush by Richard’s masterful touch.

  ‘Sorry?’ He pressed more kisses to her neck, wishing her hair was loose, wishing they were somewhere that would afford them a bit more privacy. Although they weren’t far from the accident site, Richard had managed to pull her off the main footpath, and now, thanks to the setting sun, they were safe from too many prying eyes, in the shadows of the night.

  ‘Nothing,’ she replied, carefully easing her hands from his hair. While he’d been kissing her, she hadn’t wanted him to stop—ever. She’d wanted the moment to last for ever, to hear him say the words that would make all her crazy, silly dreams come true. That the two of them could be together…for ever.

  Now, though, as her sluggish senses began to return to normal, she was acutely aware of their surroundings, of the number of people still working to clear the rubble, to put up fences and warning beacons to ensure the public’s safety.

  There were patients to see, a job to do, and she’d been indulging in the desire to finally have Richard’s mouth against her own. She could rationalise and give the excuse that they’d been through so much medical trauma tonight they both deserved a few minutes to recharge and regroup, but she didn’t like herself when she made excuses. She’d wanted Richard to kiss her. Pure and simple. An opportunity had presented itself and she’d taken it.

  He was still bending down, brushing small kisses to her neck and jaw, as though savouring the sensations. Her eyelids fluttered closed as her mind zoomed in on the way his light and feathery kisses were still creating havoc with her equilibrium.

  ‘Do you have any idea what you do to me?’

  ‘Richard,’ she breathed again, knowing she needed to put a stop to this. She slid her arms down from his neck, bringing them to rest at the top of his firm chest. ‘We need to—’

  ‘I’m so glad we waited until you were ready because I have to tell you, Bergan, I was not disappointed.’

  She eased back a little. ‘You weren’t?’ Why did she feel such an overwhelming sense of relief at this news? How was it he always seemed to know just what to say? In the back of her mind, while conscious they needed to stop what they were doing and concentrate on work, she had been wondering what he might be thinking, whether or not the kiss had meant as much to him as it had to her. The fact it had meant a lot to her set off another warning bell.

  For now, she looked at the way he was smiling at her. ‘No. The real Bergan is one hundred times better than any dreams I’ve had.’

  ‘You dream about me?’

  His smile increased. ‘You don’t dream about me?’ There was a slight teasing note in his voice, and before she could say anything, he bent his head and pressed another firm but long and satisfying kiss to her mouth. ‘Your lips are perfect for mine,’ he murmured, then shifted his stance, marginally loosening his hold on her. ‘And I’d like to request a repeat performance later on, once everything else is under control.’

  ‘And you’ve finished your shift,’ she pointed out, a tight pressure starting to wind itself around her heart. She wanted nothing more than to do as he asked, but at the same time being near Richard was starting to cause her to panic.

  ‘Whatever you say, boss.’ With great reluctance Richard dropped his arms and released her, before taking a step back. Bergan was surprised to find she felt both cold and bereft without his touch.

  That wasn’t right. She’d always been fiercely independent. She’d always been in control of her life, yet being here with Richard, wanting to hold him, kiss him and have him close to her at all times was wrong. It had to be wrong because the last thing she felt right now was in control.

  She took a step back, putting some much-needed distance between them, rubbing her hands on her upper arms, trying to shake the sensation of returning to his arms…for ever.

  ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘Me? Sure. I’m fine. As fine as fine can be.’ She started talking fast. ‘I think we need to get back to work. To check and…to do things and find out what’s happening with Wendy and see if we can be of assistance anywhere else.’

  ‘Do you want to head to the hospital?’ Richard asked.

  ‘You go ahead.’ She took another few steps away from him and jerked her thumb over her shoulder. ‘I’m going to go see how things are at the community centre.’

  ‘But Palmer said Sunainah had things under control.’

  ‘I know. I just want to check
. She might need a break. To have a coffee or use the bathroom and she might not be able to if no one comes to relieve her. You know how busy a makeshift A and E can be.’

  ‘I do. OK. I’ll come with you.’ He started to take a few steps towards her but she instantly put her hands up to stop him, making sure she didn’t accidentally touch him in the process. She was having a difficult enough time controlling the way his nearness made her feel. Now that she knew how glorious it was to kiss Richard, she wanted to do it all the time.

  ‘No. No. It’s better that you go back to the hospital, make sure things are under control in A and E.’

  ‘It won’t take long to check the community centre,’ he continued, clearly not able to take the hints she was dropping.

  ‘Well, OK, then.’ A slight edge came into her voice before she could stop it. ‘You go to the community centre and I’ll head back to A and E. That’s probably the better option given it is my A and E department.’ She gave a nervous laugh and pointed across the road, where she could see two paramedics finishing up securing their patient before leaving for the hospital. ‘I’ll hitch a ride with them.’

  ‘Bergan?’ Richard reached out, putting both hands on her shoulders. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘Wrong? There’s nothing wrong. I’m just trying to be efficient, ensure the patients are getting the best care. There’s no point in us staying together, walking side by side like we’re doing some sort of ward round.’ She was talking faster again, trying not to succumb to the warmth of his hands on her shoulders, of the growing need she had to rest her head against his chest, to draw strength from him.

  She didn’t need his super-fantastic kindness right now. She didn’t need his adorableness winding its way around her. She didn’t need those hypnotic blue eyes that had the ability to make her forget anyone and everything as soon as she allowed herself to stare at them for more than a few seconds.

  No. What she needed was distance, because even acknowledging she wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, feeling safe and secure, as though nothing bad would ever happen to her again, Bergan knew her childish fantasy would end in despair. It was best she kept herself safe, pull away from him sooner rather than later.

  ‘I think Wendy’s retrieval shook you up more than you realised,’ he murmured, a small frown creasing his brow as though he really didn’t understand her.

  Bergan clutched at the excuse, using it willingly, even though she knew it wasn’t necessarily true. ‘You’re probably right. We can only keep the professionalism in place for so long before the reality of the situations we see start to seep into our emotions.’

  ‘Hmm.’ He looked into her eyes for a moment. ‘OK.’ He relented, much to her relief. ‘I’ll check on how Sunainah is progressing at the community centre and you head back to the hospital.’

  ‘OK.’ Without another word she turned and all but sprinted over to the paramedics. ‘Mind if I hitch a ride?’ she asked, climbing into the back of the ambulance without being invited. ‘I can care for the patient.’

  ‘Thanks, Bergan,’ they said, and within another few minutes she was on her way back to the hospital, away from Richard. Distance. She needed distance so she could think, to try and understand exactly what was going on between the two of them, because of one thing she was certain—that kiss had changed everything.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  IT WAS THE early hours of the morning before Bergan was able to finally make her way home. It had been a very long day, but she hadn’t been able to leave the hospital until Wendy had come out of Theatre.

  Bergan had stood by the bed in Recovery, looking at the woman who had been so brave, who had done everything they’d asked as the rescue crews had painstakingly removed rubble in order to get her out. She’d spoken to Wendy’s family, explaining just how brave Wendy had been. Now, as she watched Wendy sleep, her body in an induced coma, Bergan knew exactly how her patient must have felt.

  Wendy had had physical bricks and mortar closing her in. She herself, on the other hand, seemed to be buried beneath a mound of pain and hurt, repressed memories from her past and the inability to believe she could ever be truly happy.

  The fact that Richard had broken down so many of her barriers was enough to cause her great anxiety. He was so wonderful and sweet and sexy and caring and… She sighed and closed her eyes, knowing the simple truth was that she didn’t deserve a man like him. After everything she’d done in her past, even though she’d done her best to make amends, did she have the right to expect a man of Richard’s calibre to sweep her off her feet and carry her off into the sunset?

  ‘Hey. Here you are. I’ve been looking for you.’

  She turned at the sound of his soft voice, her heart thumping with pure delight at the sight of him. Why did he have to be so…perfect? He looked at the information on the machines around Wendy’s bed, nodding his head, pleased with the results. ‘It’s a miracle she’s alive.’

  ‘Yes.’ Richard was standing just behind her, the warmth from his body surrounding her like a comforting blanket. Bergan closed her eyes for a moment, breathing in the scent of him, which always seemed to relax her. Her body tingled at his nearness and once more she found it difficult to concentrate.

  At this time of the morning there were a few of the nursing staff around the place, but for the most part, as they stood by Wendy’s bed, Bergan was only conscious of the two of them. Whenever Richard was near, it was as though the rest of the world melted away. She wanted to ease back a little, to lean against him, and before tonight she probably would have felt secure in doing that, but now…? Since that life-changing kiss? She just wasn’t sure what was happening any more.

  He was important to her. She liked him more than she could ever remember liking any man before, but the biggest thing that scared her more than anything was that she trusted him. She’d shared a very intimate and emotional part of her upbringing with him, she’d taken him to the drop-in centre, she’d experienced a moment of dreaded fear when Palmer had first told her that Richard was down in the cavern of rubble. What if something bad had happened to him? Even now, reflecting back, her heart was pierced with a pain she couldn’t begin to fully comprehend.

  It couldn’t possibly be love. She didn’t do love. Not the lifelong, happily-ever-after type of love that she’d occasionally witnessed. Mackenzie and her new husband John. Even Richard’s parents, Helen and Thomas. It was clear that pure love did exist…but not for her.

  As they stood there, Richard moved closer and draped his arm naturally around her shoulders. For the past few weeks, feeling his gentle, caring touch like this had filled her with delight, had helped her to let go of her stress, had relaxed her, but now, after the kiss, she wasn’t sure what his touch meant.

  Did it mean he wanted to leave and go somewhere else so they could continue kissing? Would he want more than kissing? When she’d been in his arms, she’d most certainly wanted to share more with him, but now…she wasn’t so sure. It was as though he’d turned her world upside down and the sensation of falling, of ending up in a bottomless abyss, was enough to make her panic.

  ‘You’re so stiff and tense,’ he murmured, and shifted behind her, resting both hands on her shoulders before tenderly massaging her trapezius. ‘So tight, but I guess after the night we’ve had both at the retrieval site and in A and E, that’s to be expected.’ His words, his small chuckle, the warm breath on the back of her neck, the feel of his clever hands kneading away her stress made her feel light-headed. Bergan closed her eyes again, momentarily allowing him access to her, but the pain in her heart, the anxiety pulsing through her body would not be stilled.

  ‘Uh…’ She wriggled her shoulders and shifted away from him.

  ‘Are you all right?’ He instantly dropped his hands, looking at her quizzically.

  ‘Uh…sure. Just tired and, well, you know, if you keep doing that, I might fall into a puddle at your feet.’

  His smile was instant. ‘Never mind. I’d pick you up and ca
rry you home.’

  Bergan sighed heavily and shook her head. ‘Stop being so nice,’ she whispered harshly, and then, seeing the surprised confusion in his eyes, she shook her head and walked away. She could almost feel him watching her, wondering what on earth he’d done wrong. Guilt swamped her. She shouldn’t have snapped at him but…but… Her mind was spinning and she was unable to think straight, unable to put things into a neat and clear order.

  Bergan stopped by her office, gathered what she needed, locked the door and headed to the car park, barely speaking to the security guard who walked her to her car. Driving home, she refused to think about anything except the small amount of traffic on the road. She found a radio station with a late-night talk show, glad of the mindless chatter in the background. It was far easier to listen to people debating the right amount of fertiliser to put on their vegetables in order to achieve award-winning status at local fairs than try and dissect the way she was feeling.

  When she arrived home, she put all thoughts of Richard into a box and shoved it into the far recesses of her mind, before going through the motions of getting ready for bed. She was exhausted and yet, as she lay in her bed, tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable, the image of Richard, staring at her as though she’d just punched him in the solar plexus, refused to wipe itself from her memory.

  She didn’t want to hurt him, but she feared, in her quest for self-preservation, that she must. The sooner she broke things off with him, the less painful it would be. The fact that a connection had developed at all was her fault and she took complete responsibility for any fallout. Richard only had one more week here and then he would leave. Back to Paris. Back to his normal life…his normal life without her.

  She pursed her lips at the thought, unable to stop her throat from thickening with sadness, unable to stop tears from springing to her eyes, unable to stop the pain piercing her heart. Richard would leave and he would forget about her. Once again she’d be alone, because that’s the way it was supposed to be.