Resisting the New Doc In Town

by Clark, Lucy

  Turning her face into the pillow, Bergan began to weep. She curled into the foetal position, pulling the sheet tight around her as she allowed the pain and loss of the man who meant so much to her to bubble to the surface and overflow in a river of misery.

  *

  ‘Hi, Mum,’ Richard said, answering his phone and lying back on the bed. It was his last day in Australia and he was avoiding getting out of bed, following the irrational theory that if he didn’t get up, the day wouldn’t start. Neither was he in the mood for chatting to his mother. There was only one person he wanted to talk to and she had been ignoring him.

  In the days following the building collapse Bergan had put the brakes on and had made every effort to make herself completely unavailable to him. Every time he’d called to see when they were next going to get together, she’d make an excuse. He’d sent her text messages and not received an answer until the next day. She’d even gone as far as to change the roster at work, ensuring their shifts didn’t overlap.

  ‘All ready to head back to the northern hemisphere?’ Helen asked.

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘Richard? You don’t sound all that excited. I’d have thought, after travelling for such a long time, you’d be eager to get home.’

  ‘I am, Mum. So, tell me about what you and Dad have been doing over the past few days,’ he said, eager to change the subject, but it appeared Helen was having none of it.

  ‘What’s happened?’ she asked.

  ‘Nothing, Mum. Everything’s fine.’

  ‘Richard, I’m your mother. I know every tone in your voice. Now, I don’t expect you to blurt everything out to me, you’re a very private man, but I also won’t have you insult my intelligence by lying to me when everything clearly isn’t fine.’

  ‘I have some things to sort through.’

  ‘Regarding Bergan?’

  Richard frowned at the phone. ‘How do you figure that?’

  Helen chuckled. ‘I know every tone in your voice, remember. You may not have spoken much about her directly, but her name has come up quite a bit during our chats. It’s not what you say but how you say it, darling.’

  ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

  ‘Mmm-hmm?’

  Richard closed his eyes and shook his head. ‘She’s frustrating, Mum.’

  ‘Mmm-hmm?’

  ‘And annoying and exacerbating. She’s driving me insane.’

  ‘Mmm-hmm?’

  ‘We only have a limited amount of time together and over the last few days she’s withdrawn from me, not taking my calls, not responding to my emails or text messages. I even wrote her a note and put it in her letterbox. Nothing. I’m leaving the country tonight, returning to Paris, and yet she hasn’t wanted to spend time with me and we were…we were so good together. Or maybe it was only me who thought that.’

  ‘Mmm-hmm?’

  ‘Is she upset because I’m leaving? Is that it? If it is, it’s ridiculous. She’s known from the start that my time in Australia was limited, that I needed to return to Paris to present my findings.’

  ‘Mmm-hmm?’

  ‘Sure, in the beginning I wasn’t sure what might happen when I returned to Paris, but that was before we kissed and now… I don’t know how it’s possible that a kiss can change things but it can—it did. We’re perfect for each other and she was the one who showed me it was OK to take a chance, to try again. She’s been knocked down so many times in her life, one thing after another, after another, after another and yet she always finds a way to get back on her feet, to persevere, to keep moving forward. She made me realise it was OK to hope again, to know that time would heal wounds and that I’d be able to love again. And I do. I love her but I know if I tell her, she’ll run a mile.’

  ‘Mmm-hmm?’

  ‘Or has she already realised that I love her?’ Richard opened his eyes and sat up in bed, this new realisation dawning on him. ‘Is that why she’s run? Perhaps she’s realised that my feelings for her are intense and I’ll bet hers are equally as intense and that’s why she’s put the brakes on. She doesn’t want me to love her because she doesn’t know if she can give me love in return.

  ‘Maybe she’s worried that when I return to Paris, I’ll forget her. Not a chance of that happening. My heart beats out her name.’ He shook his head.

  ‘Mmm-hmm?’

  ‘She’s stubborn enough to believe that. Stubborn enough to lock herself away, ensuring she doesn’t get hurt, and who can blame her, especially after everything she’s been through? She doesn’t know how to lean on others, how to believe they’ll always be there for her. Doesn’t she realise that my life is meaningless without her? Doesn’t she know that it doesn’t matter where I might be living, I’ll only be half a person if she’s not right there beside me?’

  ‘Mmm-hmm?’

  Richard was silent for a moment as everything he’d just been saying started sinking into some form of coherence in his mind. ‘I need to speak to her.’

  ‘Mmm-hmm?’

  ‘But she’s just finishing the night shift. She’ll be tired and then sleeping. Oh, and I have that dinner tonight and as I’m the guest of honour, I have to go.’ He growled in frustration. ‘I’ll leave early. Bergan is more important than any dinner. She’s more important than the fellowship, more important than everything.’

  ‘Mmm-hmm.’

  ‘Thanks, Mum. It was great talking to you, but I’ve got to go. I’ve got a bit of planning to do.’

  ‘Anytime, darling,’ Helen chuckled.

  *

  Some of the A and E staff had organised a little farewell dinner for Richard. Bergan had declined to attend, preferring to head home to a quiet night of not thinking about him, knowing she didn’t need to fear him casually dropping in.

  When a loud knock came from her front door, Bergan almost jumped right out of her skin, gasping in surprise.

  ‘Bergan?’ Mackenzie’s voice came from the other side of the door. ‘Open up or I’ll go and get my spare key.’

  ‘I’m coming. I’m coming.’ Bergan hurried to the door, checking first that her friend was alone before opening it.

  ‘Hey. I thought you might have been at the dinner for Richard.’

  ‘I was. He looks terrible.’

  ‘He does?’ Concern instantly flooded through her. ‘Why? What’s wrong?’

  ‘You. You’re what’s wrong.’ Mackenzie stormed into the house and turned to glare at her.

  ‘What have I done now?’ Bergan asked as she closed the front door then headed into the kitchen, knowing Mackenzie would follow.

  ‘You know exactly what you’ve done. Why are you pushing Richard away?’

  ‘What? He’s leaving tonight. That’s hardly pushing him away. The man has to return to Paris—to his life in Paris—and that’s the end of it.’

  ‘Is it? So…what? You’ve decided to push him away first? Self-preservation? You’re an idiot.’ Mackenzie was working herself up into a right rage. ‘All those years you told me that if we worked hard, if we just believed, we could change our future. I believed you and voilà!’ Mackenzie spread her arms wide. ‘Look at me now. I’m happy. It wasn’t always plain sailing, but from my first marriage came Ruthie and now I have John. It does happen, Bergan. Happiness can happen for people like us.’

  ‘No. It happens for people like you.’ Bergan walked to the fridge and opened it, stared inside for a moment before closing the door and turning to face her friend. ‘I’m not meant to be happy.’

  ‘Wha—?’ Mackenzie stared at her, completely stunned. Bergan stood there, waiting for one of Mackenzie’s optimistic tirades, but it didn’t come. Instead, Mackenzie just shook her head, turned and walked to the front door. Bergan frowned. Mackenzie was walking out on her? That wasn’t how things usually went.

  She waited a moment, listening carefully, and when she heard the front door open, she rushed from the kitchen. ‘Kenz! Wai—’ She stopped when she saw Richard standing in the open doorway, Mackenzie pushing past him.


  ‘Good luck.’

  Had she just heard Mackenzie say that softly to Richard? Bergan’s gaze took in the sight of the man of her dreams, standing before her. Her knees began to shake, her hands began to tremble and as she glanced at Mackenzie’s retreating form, Bergan felt a surge of anger pulse through her. She wasn’t sure whether she was more angry that after one look at Richard her body had betrayed her or that Mackenzie had been the betrayer.

  ‘Did you set this up with her?’ She stabbed a finger in the direction Mackenzie had gone.

  Richard calmly came into her home, closing the door behind him, his voice quiet and controlled. ‘You’ve been avoiding me, Bergan. I’m a desperate man and that means I needed to take desperate measures.’

  She shook her head and turned on her heel, heading back into the kitchen. All she needed were a few seconds to regroup, to adjust to him being here, in her home, especially when she’d resigned herself to never seeing him face-to-face again.

  When he sauntered casually into the kitchen, leaning against the doorjamb, his thumbs hooked into the back pockets of his jeans, Bergan’s heart turned over. Didn’t the man have any idea just how handsome he was? How sexy she found him? How she wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms and beg him to never let her go? She swallowed over the sudden dryness of her throat.

  She shifted around to the other side of the kitchen table. The more obstacles they had between them the better. As she watched him, she realised he wasn’t at all agitated, that he was cool, calm and collected. She tried to mimic his calmness and forced herself to cross to the sink and fill the kettle. ‘Cup of tea?’

  ‘Sure. Sounds great.’

  So that was it? They were just going to chat politely to each other, drink tea and say goodbye? Was that all he wanted? Feeling as though she’d just had the rug pulled from under her, Bergan wasn’t sure what was going to happen next. She took two cups from the cupboard and two teabags.

  ‘How was the dinner?’ When he didn’t immediately answer, she turned and looked at him over her shoulder.

  ‘I left early.’

  Silence floated in the air between them, and from his relaxed, unhurried manner it was clear he wasn’t going to make any effort to fill it.

  ‘Oh? But you were the guest of honour.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘Has that happened often at other hospitals you’ve visited? That you go out to dinner at the end of your placement?’

  Another pause, then a shrug. ‘Some.’

  Bergan checked the kettle again, wishing it would hurry up and boil, thereby giving her something to do. She leaned against the kitchen cupboards and looked across at him, the uncomfortable tension mounting with each passing second.

  ‘Good to see Wendy doing well.’

  Richard nodded.

  ‘Mackenzie said they had to amputate the right leg below the knee but have managed to save the other one.’

  He nodded again.

  ‘And Reggie said the bladder and intestinal ruptures are healing nicely.’

  ‘So I’ve heard.’

  Unable to take it any longer, Bergan spread her arms wide. ‘What do you want, Richard?’

  He raised his eyebrows and a slow smile began to sneak its way across his perfect mouth. ‘That’s a loaded question, especially coming from you.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I want you to marry me.’ The words were delivered matter-of-factly and Bergan was relieved she was neither drinking nor holding anything in her hands because at those words her mind and body went completely numb.

  Eventually, she managed to blink one long blink before staring at him and swallowing. ‘M-m-marry?’

  ‘Yes.’ It was only then he slowly made his way around to where she was. Bergan felt like a deer caught in a car’s headlights, unable to move or look away from this glorious, wonderful, scary man.

  ‘This isn’t the official proposal,’ he said, coming to stand right next to her, invading her personal space and not seeming to care. ‘When I propose, you’ll know about it.’

  ‘P-propose?’

  His gorgeous smile was heart pounding and mind numbing at the same time. Richard placed his hands on her shoulders and looked down into her eyes. ‘I’m in love with you, Bergan, and I have the sneakiest suspicion that you’re in love with me.’

  ‘Love?’

  ‘And no doubt that scares the life out of you, which is why you’ve been incommunicado recently. I understand that, and I’m not going to rush you.’

  ‘You’re not?’

  He shook his head. ‘I’m flying out in a few hours’ time and I wanted to spend as much of that time with you as I can.’

  ‘Er…’ The concern in her eyes matched the fear pulsing through her. What did that mean? What was she supposed to do? Say? She had wondered whether Richard might try and see her before he left, but she’d half expected him to be as mad as anything.

  This calm acceptance of the situation wasn’t what she’d mentally prepared for. She almost wished he’d yell at her, demand reasons why she’d shut him out, but perhaps…just perhaps he knew her better than she’d realised. If he pushed her, she’d get angry, making it easier for her to hate him and to walk away. Ooh, he was clever.

  ‘I don’t mind if we just snuggle up on the lounge, watch a bad movie, drink tea, eat popcorn, play a game of Scrabble.’ He bent his head and brushed a small kiss on her cheek. ‘I just want to be with you, Bergan.’

  ‘Because you…lo—’ She stopped and swallowed over the word.

  ‘Love you?’ He nodded. ‘Yes.’

  ‘And this…declaration isn’t supposed to pressure me?’

  ‘That wasn’t my intention. I have two weeks of presenting my findings on the fellowship and then you’ll fly to Paris to meet me.’

  ‘I will?’ The ground shifted beneath her feet yet again. There was disbelief in her tone and finally she started to regain some control over her mind and body. The kettle had switched itself off and as she stepped back Richard dropped his hands, watching as she poured boiling water into the cups. ‘I thought you said you weren’t going to rush me.’

  ‘I’m also not completely stupid,’ he returned. ‘Besides, it’s not rushing you, Bergan, it’s more like giving you a gentle nudge in the right direction.’

  ‘So I’m expected to take time off work away from my busy A and E department and fly off to Paris with barely a moment’s notice.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And who will look after A and E?’

  ‘Mackenzie said she’d help organise that.’

  ‘Oh, she did, did she? What else has Mackenzie volunteered for?’

  Richard thought for a moment then shook his head. ‘Nothing. Reggie is the one who’s offered to pick you up and take you to the airport. I’ve given her the information for the flights that have been booked for you.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I told you, Bergan. Desperate times call for desperate measures.’

  ‘What about my home? My plants?’

  ‘Mackenzie’s daughter Ruthie has agreed to water them for you.’

  ‘And Sunainah? What’s her role in all this?’ Bergan clattered the spoon roughly from side to side in the teacup, not caring what sort of noise she was making. Had her friends really agreed to gang up on her like this?

  ‘She’s going to be keeping you calm.’ Richard watched as she threw the teaspoon into the sink then gripped the edge of the bench as she processed everything he was saying.

  ‘So, because I haven’t spoken to you all week long, you’ve turned my friends against me?’

  ‘They love you, Bergan. You know that. They only want what’s best for you.’

  ‘Oh, and I suppose that’s you?’ She shook her head then turned and walked into the lounge room, not caring about the tea.

  Richard instantly followed her and placed his arms around her, his chest pressed to her back. ‘Yes, as a matter of fact it is. Bergan, I know this is difficult for you
, but I can’t let you go. You’ve brought brightness and sunshine back into my life. I love you.’

  ‘And you’re OK with that? With just forgetting your life with Chantelle and moving on?’

  ‘I can’t live in the past. I can’t bring Chantelle back. She knew that. She told me that I needed to move forward and one day find someone else. And that someone else is you, Bergan. You are unique and kind and a little bit crazy, as well as passionate and faithful. And while, at times, you completely flabbergast and exasperate me, it doesn’t change the fact that I am in love with you.’

  ‘And how did you come to this conclusion, then?’

  ‘When you started avoiding me, it made me really stop and think, really take stock of what was going on in my life. This past year, on the fellowship, my life hasn’t been normal, and I honestly thought I needed to return to Paris, to finish the fellowship, to figure out who I was after a year of travelling, of having new experiences, and that’s why I couldn’t give you an answer whenever you asked me what might happen next between us.

  ‘I knew you made me happy, happier than I’ve been in a very long time, but I wasn’t sure how I’d feel when I returned to Europe.’

  ‘And you do now?’ She eased away. ‘How can you possibly predict what might happen when you return? You can’t. This…’ she indicated the space between them ‘…thing between us is nothing more than some sort of holiday romance. When you get back and reality starts to seep into the imaginary world you’ve been living in, you’ll see there’s no room for me, no room for a woman with too much baggage to fit into your world.’ She shook her head. ‘We’re better off apart, Richard.’

  ‘Respectfully, Bergan, I completely disagree.’

  ‘How, Richard?’ She threw her arms up in the air, her control snapping. ‘How can you possibly know that what we have here is something that can last for ever?’

  ‘Because you frustrate me, because you drive me insane, because you perplex me.’

  ‘Thanks a lot.’ There was pain in her voice and she could feel tears starting to prick her eyes.

  ‘You also excite me, challenge me, believe in me. My desire to be with you for the rest of my life isn’t some whim, Bergan, and when I realised that, I knew it didn’t matter whether I was in Paris or Australia or Timbuktu. Wherever I was, I didn’t want to be without you.’