Decline & Fall

by Chris Mullin

  This evening, with half a dozen others, I was invited to Charlie Falconer’s room to be sounded out about a little U-turn he is contemplating on the Jury Trials (Fraud) Bill. Once our business was complete, he produced a bottle of Château Latour and proceeded hilariously to regale us with an account of his recent appearance on Question Time, where, by all accounts, he suffered a terrible roasting. I do like Charlie. Can there ever have been a Lord Chancellor so totally without airs? He would have been a success in either House, save the little matter of his children’s private schooling.

  Later, in the Tea Room, a chat about our prospects with David Miliband, who is beginning to suffer from the disease that afflicts so many inhabitants of the stratosphere: an inability to concentrate while others are talking. His eyes were darting all over and he was bobbing up and down every couple of minutes. Alas, it can only get worse as he accelerates away from our little lives.

  Tuesday, 16 January

  To an upper committee room for a meeting with the Iraqi vice-president, a Sunni. Somewhat ominously, he seemed to be pleading with us to put pressure on his prime minister to take on the Shia death squads and start releasing prisoners, of whom there are said to be tens of thousands. Today’s horror story: car bombs at Baghdad University, carefully timed to catch students as they were emerging from a lecture; one at the front, the other minutes later at the rear; at least 60 dead, mainly young women.

  Wednesday, 17 January

  Nick Lyell, ten years a law officer in the Thatcher and Major governments, joined me at lunch in the cafeteria. He had the supreme satisfaction of doing jobs he enjoyed for long enough to make a difference. He lamented the frenetic turn-over of ministers, which was a feature of governments in which he served, as well as ours. ‘All governments have an epitaph,’ he said. ‘This government’s will be its tendency to micro-manage.’

  He added, ‘Of course, if you want to win the next election – and I’m not saying you won’t – you should vote for Jack Straw. A very good minister, in touch with the mood of the public; also a nice man and the public would see that.’

  Friday, 19 January

  Ruth Turner, a member of the inner circle, has been arrested. Just why the police needed to bang on her door at 6.30 a.m., when they could just as easily have telephoned and asked her to stop by the police station, is not clear. It is rumoured that Jonathan Powell will be next.

  Monday, 22 January

  ‘If anyone in Number 10 is charged,’ remarked Angela Eagle a propos the alleged ‘loans for peerages’ hoo-ha, ‘we’re fucked’. She thinks The Man should go sooner rather than later before the damage becomes irreparable. The difficulty is that the polls suggest we’d do worse under Gordon, even though his hands are clean.

  Tuesday, 23 January

  Des Browne invited me to his room to talk about Trident. Could I be persuaded? Unlikely, I said, but I’d listen to the arguments. Anyway, why bother with the likes of me, given that the Tories are onside? ‘Because it would be embarrassing if we had to rely on the Tories to get it through.’ Des didn’t try a hard sell – some vague talk about unspecified future threats, plus of course Iran and North Korea. I said I thought it was all about keeping up with the French and retaining our permanent seat on the Security Council. Interestingly, Des said that the Foreign Office had included that argument in the first draft of the government’s position paper, but he had asked for it to be struck out.

  Wednesday, 24 January

  Awoke to a light dusting of snow, increasingly rare in London.

  To a committee room off Westminster Hall for the annual meeting of the Extraordinary Rendition Group. Andrew Tyrie, Norman Lamb and Lord Hodgson attended. Tyrie is the main mover: dynamic, bright, sharp. We agreed, among other things, to focus on trying to rescue the ten British residents, particularly the two picked up in Gambia on the say-so of MI5. Word is that the government has asked for one of the ‘Gambians’, but the Americans are saying ‘all or none’.

  Then to the Victoria Tower, one of the few parts of the building I have never so far penetrated, for a tour of the parliamentary archive. The Commons archives were destroyed in the fire of 1834, but the Lords are intact – originals of every Act since 1497, shelf after shelf, handwritten on vellum, each with the sovereign’s signature on the top left-hand corner, rolled, tagged and tied with a thin strip of cloth. Our party consisted of two peers, John Lee and Nora David, and myself. Nora David is an upright, snowy-haired, bright as a button 93-year-old; not even a walking stick or a hearing aid. ‘I had to walk in this morning so I am feeling a little tired,’ she remarked as we waited in the Royal Gallery.

  ‘Where from?’

  ‘The far end of Ebury Street.’ About a mile and a half.

  I thought of Mum, and all those sad old folk mouldering in Brewster House. Maybe there’s something to be said for the House of Lords, after all.

  Thursday, 25 January

  Ran into Michael Jay, just back from the US, where he has been talking to Congressmen about climate change. He says the White House has been marginalised. ‘I thought that Bush might change tack, seeing the result of the mid-term elections, but no . . .’

  Monday, 29 January

  Confidence in the government is said to be at an all-time low – 21 per cent according to YouGov in today’s Telegraph. The Man’s approval rating is a dismal 26 per cent. For once the Telegraph captures the mood of the hour: ‘It’s like watching a particularly grisly horror film – the corpse should be still, yet still it stumbles on, blood draining from a thousand cuts.’ I have to say, that’s not how it appears in here. The Man is on good form, regularly getting the better of Young Dave, but such little victories count for nothing in this fevered world.

  Tuesday, 30 January

  John Reid looks remarkably chipper considering the storms that rage around him (mostly, it has to be said, of his own making). I found myself briefly alone with him in the Noe Lobby this evening and remarked on his cheerful demeanour, to which he responded, ‘Like you, I have an inner calm.’ He added that he had managed to wring some money, although not enough, out of Gordon for more prison places, but that he had been faced with the possibility that he might have to release thousands of prisoners simply because the jails are overflowing – and it still might come to that.

  Wednesday, 31 January

  JP was subdued and uncharacteristically coherent at Questions this morning. When he talks slowly and calmly the words come out in the right order, as they did today, though he got a bit excited towards the end. The actor Timothy Spall, who bears passing resemblance to him, was in the gallery observing his every move. Are we to expect JP: The Movie?

  Thursday, 1 February

  To the City for the board of the Prison Reform Trust. I asked Robert Fellowes, the Queen’s private secretary at the time of Princess Diana’s death, whether he had seen The Queen. He said he hadn’t, but he had heard from those in the know that The Man’s role had been greatly exaggerated. Alastair Campbell had suggested flying the flag and inserting the phrase ‘and as a grandmother’ into the broadcast, but that was about all. He added that he greatly admired Helen Mirren and hoped she won the Oscar.

  On the way back to the House by tube, Ruth Runciman pointed to a newspaper headline: ‘PM to be interviewed again over honours’. When will it end?

  Monday, 5 February

  To the meeting of the parliamentary party to hear Jack explain his latest thinking on Lords reform. Before that, however, we were treated to a long rant from Dennis Skinner re the honours inquiry, the gist of which was that the police can’t be trusted, they were leaking like a sieve and trying to stretch out their investigation until the May elections in order to inflict maximum damage. He added, to cheers, that contenders for the deputy leadership should ‘keep their traps shut’.

  Re the Lords, Jack announced that he had changed his mind – having previously supported an all-appointed upper house. He now favours a 50/50 hybrid. Why? ‘Because we are not where the public are on this.
We will put ourselves in the position of defending the 1831 franchise.’ He also announced that he was proposing that we adopt an alternative voting system in order to avoid a repeat of last time, when we made ourselves look foolish by voting down all options. At this there was a certain amount of hurrumphing from John Spellar and Dave Clelland, who favour little or no change. Jack assured them that no change would be an option, but he insisted that there must be a clear outcome one way or the other.

  Tuesday, 6 February

  Growing pissed-offness at the way the police are handling the so-called cash for peerages investigation; people on our side are whispering that it’s some sort of coup attempt. Apropos of which Angela Eagle drew my attention to an unpleasant piece in the Sunday Times by Simon Jenkins which concludes as follows:

  At times I can understand countries whose officer class, sitting in their barracks over brandy and cigars, finally lose their cool and send tanks onto the street to ‘defend the nation’ against corrupt ministers and weak assemblies. Britain in 2007 has a leader who refuses to go and a parliament that refuses to remove him. His fate is in the hands, if not of the Brigade of Guards, then a commissioner of police.

  Jack announced his plans for Lords reform amid disgruntlement on all sides. No one seems to think anything will come of it and one wonders whether Jack does either. I suspect it may have more to do with not being wrong-footed by the Tories, who, having resisted reform of any sort for 100 years, are now posing as ultra-democrats. The Man’s heart obviously isn’t in this. Asked at Questions today whether he would be voting for any of the options, he pointedly avoided answering.

  This evening, to the Channel Four awards. Jeff Rooker was the Peer of the Year, remarking to the discomfort of MPs present that, having been a minister in both houses, he could confirm that the quality of scrutiny in the upper house was far superior to that in the Commons.

  Most Inspiring Political Figure of the Year, chosen by viewers rather than politicians, was Brian Haw – the eccentric who has been camped in a tent in Parliament Square for the last three years. He came to the rostrum in a hat covered in badges and a T-shirt inscribed in large letters with the word BLIAR and delivered a lengthy, incoherent rant. General Sir Richard Dannatt was the runner-up and he is not even supposed be in the business of politics at all. Blair and Cameron scored 8 and 6 per cent respectively. Clear evidence, if any were needed, of the anti-politics virus that is taking root among the public. Or at least among Channel Four viewers.

  Friday, 16 February

  To the soon-to-be-closed Pyrex factory. Another 240 manufacturing jobs down the swanny. Closure will mark the end of glass-making in Sunderland, a tradition which goes back several hundred years.

  First, a meeting with management, who talked me through a little slide show demonstrating the inevitability of closure. A familiar story: a doubling of fuel costs, new factories in China and Kazakhstan, prices squeezed by the supermarkets. Result: several years of losses that show no sign of abating. All this plus the not insignificant fact that Pyrex is now owned by a French family company, Arc, who, faced with a choice of closing either their British plant or one of their two in France, have unsurprisingly chosen us. The suspicion is that they only bought it for the brand name.

  Then to see the representatives of the workforce who are not at all reconciled to the inevitability of closure. Egged on by the full-time union officials (struggling to demonstrate their relevance), they have convinced themselves that it is the fault of the government on the grounds that it is cheaper to dismiss British workers than French ones and, if not the government, then the local council are to blame; they are said to be eyeing the site for redevelopment. There were demands for import controls, subsidised fuel prices and even that the taxpayers should fork out to keep the plant open indefinitely, à la West Midlands car industry circa 1975. To be fair, most of them knew they were clutching at straws. One has only to glance at the vast industrial graveyard all about us to realise that we are on the receiving end of a process that is remorseless. ‘The government is faced with a choice,’ I hear myself saying. ‘Either we can stand on the beach and ask the tide to turn or we can try and equip our people to cope with the chill winds of the global market. We have opted for the latter.’ Then, in a folorn effort to inject some urgently needed optimism, I point out that the local economy is buoyant and that recent experience suggests that those who want to be re-employed will find new jobs within a year. Understandably, they are sceptical. Many have worked at Pyrex for upwards of 20 years and they will not easily adjust to life in a call centre. It’s not for me, I say, to make the management’s case. You must decide what course of action you want to take and I will help in any way I can. That is how we left it.

  This evening to the Minster to see Noye’s Fludde involving children from half a dozen different primary schools. A joy to behold. Two decades of Tory rule had virtually wiped out music in Sunderland and now, after a decade of renewed government funding, school music is thriving again. Who says Labour governments don’t make a difference?

  Monday, 19 February

  This morning’s Times runs a poll of doctors saying how they loathe the government, asserting that all the money we’ve poured into the NHS has made no difference, morale at an all-time low etc. and that most of them want to leave the NHS and work abroad. It makes my blood boil. We’ve stuffed their mouths with gold and this is our reward. In fairness, I should add that the respondents were self-selecting, but even so.

  Jack Straw delivered a masterful little statement announcing that he’d changed his mind about using transferable voting to decide on Lords reform. Who else could have managed a U-turn with such good grace? Far from turning on him, everyone was congratulating him on his wisdom.

  Tuesday, 20 February

  An ICM poll in today’s Telegraph gives Cameron a 13-point lead over Brown, which would give the Tories a comfortable overall majority and put us back where we were in the mid-eighties. The warning signs are everywhere.

  Wednesday, 21 February

  This evening, to the Members’ Lobby to see the Speaker unveil the statue of Margaret Thatcher. She was there in a cream two-piece, looking puffy and impassive. So much so that we all wondered how much she was taking in, but when her turn came to reply she read out a humorous little speech which was warmly applauded by all sorts of improbable people. Ghosts from cabinets past hovered – Tebbit, Biffen, St John Stevas, Geoffrey Howe, John Major, Douglas Hurd. After the unveiling they all lined up and had their picture taken with her. Goodness knows what Ted Heath would have made of it all. His bust stands next to her at about knee level. He’d probably demand that it be turned to face the wall. As for the statue, it is a disappointment: wrong colour, wrong size and not a good likeness.

  Saturday, 24 February

  Emma and I cycled to Whitburn along the coast and back via Fulwell and Southwick. As we were crossing Wearmouth Bridge we became mixed up with the football crowd. ‘There’s that MP,’ sneered one, adding, ‘You’re all useless. If I had my way, I’d gas the lot of you.’ Gas, yes that was the word he used.

  As I pulled away I could hear him shouting that the BNP were the only decent party.

  Monday, 26 February

  Peter Atkinson, the Tory from Hexham, was on the train. He remarked that, despite all, The Man was still popular in Middle England with ladies of a certain age who judged by appearance, not by the poison in the newspapers.

  Ruth Kelly addressed the parliamentary party on housing. As ever, she comes across as technocratic and detached, competent but no real feeling. She used the phrase ‘going forward’ (the current favourite piece of business-speak among the New Labour elite) at least half a dozen times, but it wasn’t clear we were going anywhere. As several people pointed out in the excellent little debate that followed, accelerating prices have put the possibility of home ownership beyond the reach of about half of the younger population, more in central London, and the situation is getting worse by the day. ‘Right to Buy�
�� had reduced local authority housing to the point where there isn’t the slightest chance of rehousing someone on most local authority waiting lists, unless they have loads of children, or one (‘preferably two’) disabled. Often those who do qualify are asylum seekers, which just fuels resentment. Now a pernicious new phenomenon has arisen – the buy-to-let landlord. Karen Buck said that in her part of London, where the cheapest flat costs ten times the average income, the local authority is spending £70 million a year renting mainly ex-council houses from buy-to-let landlords. Speaker after speaker said that housing was the number one issue – and not just in the south. Clive Betts (Sheffield) said he dreaded dealing with homeless families at his surgery because he could offer no hope. The message was clear:

  shared-equity schemes are not enough; if the market can’t provide – and it clearly can’t – local authorities are going to have to become landlords again. What goes round comes round.