Decline & Fall

by Chris Mullin

  Thursday, 30 April

  We spent the day debating our allowances (never an edifying spectacle at the best of times). Gordon’s plan for an attendance allowance has been quietly junked, but we are to press ahead with votes on other less controversial reforms, without waiting for Sir Christopher Kelly to report. The Speaker was persuaded not to call an amendment, proposing that decisions be left to the Kelly inquiry, and, as a result, the government motions were duly carried by large majorities, allowing the whips to claim massive triumph. Though, in truth, it was all about saving Gordon from himself. Meanwhile the fall-out continues from yesterday’s defeat on the Gurkhas, which is being presented by the Tories and their friends in the media as yet more evidence of Gordon’s crumbling authority, whereas actually it was a cock-up by the whips, who failed to realise how many of our colleagues had allowed themselves to be intimidated by tabloid skinheads.

  Friday, 1 May

  Blow me down. Today’s papers report that Cameron is tentatively thinking of abandoning Trident or least cutting back on it.

  Sunday, 3 May

  We are imploding. Everyone running round like headless chickens. Charles Clarke is being quoted as saying that he is ‘ashamed’ to be a Labour MP, David Blunkett is making speeches alleging that we lack any social policy and this morning Hazel Blears is all over the papers with her prescription for recovery, which is, of course, being interpreted as an attack on Gordon – to which she has had to issue a hasty denial. To crown all, Paddy Ashdown is alleging that senior New Labourites are threatening to defect to the Lib Dems, were Labour (in Opposition) to lurch too far leftwards. If we carry on like this, catastrophe beckons.

  Tuesday, 5 May

  A brief chat with the Chief Whip, Nick Brown, who complained that he is being briefed against for his alleged failure to be robust over the part-privatisation of the Royal Mail (he has apparently informed Gordon that the policy is unsaleable – at least to Labour members). ‘Where is the pressure coming from?’ I inquired.

  ‘Us. The management and the unions are fine. It’s coming from the government. I am told we need the money, but it’s only half a billion and frankly we could print that.’ As Steve Byers pointed out later in the Tea Room, we won’t get much for it given the current state of the markets. Steve also revealed that The Man is lobbying hard to be Euro president and has a good chance of getting it. Amazing, just as New Labour sinks beneath the waves The Man is reborn as King of Europe.

  Later, I talked to John Denham, who confirmed that there has been no recent discussion in Cabinet of our plans for the Royal Mail. Gordon’s foolish plan for an attendance allowance had apparently been run past the Cabinet – in Glasgow the other week; several people had asked questions, but no one said it wasn’t a good idea. That’s a large part of the problem: no real debate at Cabinet. A trend that began under Blair, or was it Thatcher?

  Finally, an exchange with Jim Cousins. ‘We are in meltdown. It’s going to be worse than ‘83. We’re going down not with a bang, but with a whimper. There is a big political case to be made against Gordon, but nobody’s making it. It’s all so personal and trivial.’

  Wednesday, 6 May

  Poor Gordon took another battering at PMQs today – and all so personal. You could see it was getting to him. The question that really got under the wire was the suggestion that he’s been blowing his top at Number 10 switchboard operators and officials. At the end he just picked up his papers and stormed out without so much as a nod to anyone. Afterwards I went over to Millbank to record a piece for the BBC’s Week in Westminster. Of course, it was all about Gordon and whether or not he will survive. I was very loyal and insisted that he would, but to my surprise George Mudie, who I had always taken to be in Gordon’s camp, thought that there was a chance he would go of his own accord were he to encounter ‘a perfect storm’ – a combination of catastrophic Euro election results and defeat over the Royal Mail might, he suggested, be the catalyst.

  Afterwards, George described how a few weeks back he and a handful of Friends of Gordon had been invited to Number 10, thinking they were being asked for advice, but when they got there they soon realised that he wasn’t looking for advice, only help in ramming through whatever ill-thought-out initiative he was currently grappling with. ‘It’s like trying to help an alcoholic,’ said George. ‘You can only help someone who wants to be helped.’

  Thursday, 7 May

  A friendly letter re the diaries from Richard Mottram, the former Permanent Secretary at the Transport Department, re the Martin Six-smith affair and the fall of Steve Byers about which he was memorably quoted. He disputes my suggestion* that Steve’s downfall may have had to do with misinformation from officials. ‘There was no misinformation by officials. Rather it was possibly a case of a certain New Labour style to leak Sixsmith’s resignation and then choose to confirm it in TV studios, even though it had yet to be finalised. From that moment on we were wrong-footed. Perhaps that might be why, as Stephen headed for the TV studios, I uttered to a “colleague” five expletives in quick succession.’

  Friday, 8 May

  Sunderland

  A massive new feeding frenzy. The Telegraph has got its hands on a computer disc of our unexpurgated expenses and this morning it has begun publishing highlights. Page after unedifying page. Naturally, the Telegraph is claiming public interest, even though the whole lot was due to be published anyway in a couple of months. Needless to say, they have begun with Labour members, and prominent ones at that, and much more is promised over the next few days. The damage is incalculable. Not just to us, but to the entire parliamentary system. We are sinking in a great swamp of derision and loathing. No matter that the guardians of public morality at the Telegraph appear to have paid a large – and so far undisclosed – sum of money for discs that appear to have been stolen, open season has been declared on us wretched, despised servants of the people.

  Saturday, 9 May

  The Telegraph is continuing its unrelenting assault and most, but not quite, all the media are joining in. So far, with one minor exception, only Labour Members have been targeted and there is an air of banality and overspin about some of the allegations. One or two of the more perceptive commentators are beginning to question whether or not the pudding is being over-egged, but there is no doubting the overall impact.

  Sunday, 10 May

  On the evening news, the first indication that the Telegraph is at last preparing to turn its attention to the Tories. First up, Oliver Letwin, who apparently claimed £2,000 to install a drainage pipe under his tennis court. As Nick Robinson remarked, ‘The political class have lost control of this story. No one knows where it’s going.’

  Monday, 11 May

  To Westminster. Entire place traumatised. No one talking about anything but expenses. The Speaker gave a right bollocking to Kate Hoey and Norman Baker for allegedly colluding with our oppressors in the media. A good five minutes’ worth. I’ve never seen him so worked up. Actually it was way over the top. Gave the impression he is rattled, which I imagine he is.

  To a jam-packed meeting of the parliamentary party. Chairman Tony Lloyd opened with a little pep talk, remarking that there was ‘a duty on us collectively not to give in to despair’. (Yes, that’s how bad it is.) Then Gordon, eyes half closed with fatigue, spoke. This was Gordon like I’ve never seen him before. He spoke with real passion. As good as Blair at his best, coming out fighting. While acknowledging that we had to clean up our act, he spoke of ‘a deliberate campaign of distortion’ and he went on, ‘A year from now what people will remember is whether a Labour government was able to take us through the economic crisis. What’s being tested is not just me, but the strength of our beliefs. We have to prove that we are worthy.’ He sat down to a thunderous, heartfelt standing ovation, entirely spontaneous. Anyone who thinks Gordon will go quietly, however rough the going gets, is badly mistaken.

  Tuesday, 12 May

  For the second day running the spotlight is on the Tories. Not for t
hem sordid little claims for bath plugs or plasma TVs. No, they’ve been at it on an altogether different scale, with outrageous claims for repairs to tennis courts, swimming pools, housekeepers and even a suggestion that Douglas Hogg claimed for cleaning out his moat. The papers are suddenly full of pictures of Home Counties mansions set in acres of manicured lawns, straight out of Country Life, allegedly maintained at taxpayers’ expense. Proof, in case anyone has forgotten, that the class divide is alive and well. A reporter from the BBC has even had fun surveying the Tory estates by helicopter. We laugh, but it is dragging us all down.

  Lunch with My Friend in High Places. She says Gordon has been behaving better of late, but he is still the same exhausted, tantrumprone, hyperactive Gordon. ‘The debate among those around him is whether he is basically a good man who feels obliged to do bad things in the interests of the greater good or whether . . .’

  Damian McBride’s departure, she says, has left a gap. McBride was good at dreaming up stories to feed to the hacks, ‘otherwise they start inventing stuff. They were a big embarrassment on the recent Washington trip, pumping out “Obama snubs Gordon” stories. The White House couldn’t believe it.’

  ‘Why not leave them at home?’ I suggested.

  ‘Because they would start saying the Prime Minister’s never here, always travelling etc.’

  A long, sad, whispered conversation with Defence Secretary John Hutton, who has decided not to contest the next election, which means he will have to stand down come the reshuffle in a few weeks. ‘I’m in a job I love,’ he says, ‘but I can’t go on.’ Like most of us he sees electoral catastrophe looming and believes Labour will be led into the wilderness for a generation – or perhaps for ever – under someone like John Cruddas or Harriet Harman (‘I’m not even sure I’d vote Labour if Harriet became leader’). The New Labourites, he reckons, will not hang around. Realignment – a pact with the Lib Dems is even a possibility. Gordon, he says, is obsessed with conspiracies. ‘Forcing Tony Blair out was the stupidest thing we ever did.’

  Whole place sunk in gloom. Pleasure at the latest revelations about Tory excesses is tempered by the knowledge that we are all vulnerable. Once the national media lose interest the local papers will start. Already the Journal is ringing round North-East Members, asking us to volunteer our expense claims in advance of publication so they can trawl through them at leisure, picking us off one by one.

  Wednesday, 13 May

  Payback time. A bidding war has broken out between the main parties to see who can display the most repentance. Cameron (who has himself repaid the cost of having his wisteria trimmed – Tory excesses are so much more elegant than ours) is leading the field with an ultimatum to eight of his Shadow Cabinet that they repay the cost of maintaining their tennis courts, swimming pools, moats etc. – or else . . . On our side Hazel Blears (who surely will not survive the coming reshuffle) has agreed that she will, after all, be paying capital gains on one of her several former residences and tonight an ever so ‘umble Phil Hope announced he would be repaying a staggering £40,000 – the record so far.

  Thursday, 14 May

  To Clarence House, to be entertained to drinks and a stand-up lunch by the Prince of Wales. Fellow guests included a number of Tory grandees (Nick Soames, James Arbuthnot, George Young, Bernard Jenkin – the latter two and their spouses arriving by bicycle). The fate of Speaker Martin was much discussed. A definite mood on the Tory side that he must go. My instinct thus far has been that, woefully inadequate though he is, we must not allow the media to bring him down, but I begin to wonder if the line can be held. Undoubtedly the plates are shifting. A couple of brief exchanges with HRH. He remarked that he had recently encountered a woman who shouted, ‘Abolish the monarchy’, and had only just restrained himself from replying, ‘Fine – then I can run for president.’ One can’t help feeling that he would prefer that to being king. In the current climate he’d walk it and then at least he would have a mandate.

  I strolled back through the park with Kate Hoey. ‘A pity you are standing down,’ she said. ‘You’d make an excellent Speaker.’

  To my astonishment today’s roll call of The Fallen includes Elliot Morley, who appears to have been charging for a mortgage that was long ago repaid.

  Friday, 15 May

  Sunderland

  A couple of hours touring Alex Smiles’s recycling plant, which processes 40 per cent of our domestic waste, but the rest still goes to landfill. Plastic, he says, remains the big challenge. The more I learn, the more it dawns that coping with waste is one of the great challenges – perhaps the greatest – of the twenty-first century and we are not yet winning.

  This evening’s Echo highlights the expenses of local MPs. The only figures mentioned are the London allowance totals for last year, which show me in a good light, my claim being just over half that of my neighbours. There is also an editorial remarking on my general saintliness. I derive no satisfaction. We are all vulnerable in this climate.

  I scribbled a note to Elliot Morley, who, whatever his sins, is a decent man and was an excellent minister. ‘Remember,’ I wrote, ‘you are not short of friends.’

  Monday, 18 May

  Growing crisis re Speaker Martin. This afternoon he stumbled through a statement saying he was ‘profoundly sorry’ for the mess we are in and acknowledging his part in it. Then Douglas Carswell, the Tory backwoodsman who has tabled a motion of no confidence, rose and demanded that time be made available for a debate. ‘It’s not a substantive motion,’ the Speaker replied. ‘Oh yes it is,’ came voices from all sides. Extraordinary. I’ve never seen the Speaker heckled before. One after another, Members rose to demand a debate. The Speaker consulted the clerks and said that only the government could table a substantive motion. Sir Stuart Bell rose. Always a bad moment since his interventions invariably dig the pit deeper. ‘A majority of Members will support your statement, Mr Speaker,’ but this attracted only mild hear-hearing (all from the Labour side). Sir Patrick Cormack, without whom no great occasion is complete, compared the mood in the country to that at the time of the Norway debate in 1940. The Speaker, unlike last week and despite considerable provocation, responded calmly, but there is no doubt that the mood is ugly. It was like watching Ceauşescu’s final appearance, when the crowd turned against him.

  Later, to a packed meeting of the parliamentary party. Everyone traumatised, awaiting a call from the Daily Telegraph. This weekend’s revelations include the news that Gerald Kaufman had claimed an outrageous £8,500 for a Bang and Olufsen television ‘home cinema’ and Ian McCartney, whose working-class origins are impeccable, has claimed for champagne flutes.

  Frank Dobson was first up. ‘Be warned,’ he said. ‘The Lib Dems and the Tories have not abandoned party politics.’ There was, he alleged, a three-part strategy. When they had disposed of the Speaker, they would demand Gordon’s resignation. If they got that, they would demand an immediate general election on the grounds that we couldn’t have yet another Labour leader without an electoral mandate. ‘And anyone who thinks that an immediate general election would be of benefit to the people who voted us in is not on this planet.’ He sat down to applause.

  Gordon was received warmly. For the first time since the crisis began, he appears to have a plan. First, he said, we had to support each other – the party would make available legal and financial advice for colleagues in trouble; there would also be help in handling the media. Second, we had to show ourselves worthy of public trust. No more excuses. We have to clean up the system. There would be an independent examination of the last four years’ claims and those that were found to be unjustified would have to be repaid. In the meantime, there would have to be limits on what could be claimed. Finally, we had to abandon self-regulation, which was no longer credible. ‘There is no other way,’ he said. ‘We are being tested as never before.’ At last, some leadership. We went away mildly cheered.

  Tuesday, 19 May

  To a crowded chamber to hear the Speaker annou
nce his resignation. A short, dignified statement lasting all of 30 seconds and then back to business as usual. Except, of course, that there is nothing usual about today’s business. The place is buzzing. Some of our number regard what has happened as a coup by the Tories and the media.

  Re the succession, names in the frame include Alan Beith, Vince Cable, Ming Campbell, Frank Field, Alan Haselhurst, Ann Widdecombe, George Young and, most remarkable of all, John Bercow, who many on our side favour as a way of getting back at the Tories. ‘It’s got to be someone younger and untainted,’ remarked Steve Byers, who favours Bercow. A brief exchange with Alan Milburn, who reckons its all over (‘We’re fucked, utterly fucked’) and that all that remains is to nail down what can be nailed down and plant the odd booby trap.

  I should also report that one other wildly improbable name has been mentioned: moi. ‘Mr Speaker Mullin,’ called BBC political correspondent Nick Robinson as I was on the phone in the Members’ Lobby and when I laughed he said, ‘Several people have mentioned your name.’ And tonight, on Newsnight, Jeremy Paxman asked if I was running. I can’t, of course, because in a little while I will be gone . . .