It's All About Him

by Denise Jackson

  “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart,” Jeremiah 29:13 says. “I will be found by you” (v. 14). Even after times in my life when I had given my attention to other things, like fame, money, and looking good in other people’s eyes, God’s promise for me came true. He said, “But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.”2 Jesus put it even plainer in the Sermon on the Mount: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”3

  God is not some remote, unknowable force. He can be found, known, and enjoyed. He offers the unique, fulfilling relationship that we all long for, down deep.

  I’ve found that the more I dig into the Bible as His love letter to me, the more I develop a passion for it, and for Him. When my heart is cold and unwilling, I ask Him to change it, and incredibly, He does. As my days unfold, I make sure to schedule uninterrupted time to read God’s Word and pray. It’s a discipline to do so . . . but when I do it, it fulfills my deepest desires.

  Connecting with God

  Years ago, if I had a free hour in the afternoon, I would have read a magazine or played tennis or perhaps eaten cheesecake and then gotten on the treadmill. Now, though I still love tennis, reading, and cheesecake (not necessarily in that order), I’m drawn like a magnet to spend even more time with God. When I’m in the car, taking the girls to school or to a basketball or volleyball game, I listen to Christian music . . . though, of course, I also have to get in my time on the country music stations!

  Often when I’m in the car, I pray out loud, hoping that anyone who sees my lips moving will just assume I’m talking on a cell phone. One day I felt an odd urgency to pray specifically for a woman named Valerie. Her husband, Scott, the relative of a close friend, had been having some health challenges. It was strange, though, because I felt the urge to pray for Valerie rather than for Scott. Later I found out that at the exact time I was driving along, praying for Valerie, Scott was having a seizure . . . and Valerie was uncharacteristically calm and able to deal with all his needs without panicking.

  Throughout the day, in whatever moments I have, I “turn my eyes” onto Jesus by reading the Bible, listening to sermons or uplifting music on CDs, and connecting with friends who share the same passion. The more I focus on Jesus, the more I can fill up with His love and pass that love on to others . . . my family, friends in need, whomever.

  That’s how it was with my grandmother’s love for God’s Word. When I was younger I respected her faith, but I didn’t really understand it.Now I feel like I’ve gotten a taste of the great secret she knew, and it makes me hungry for more.

  Bible reading and prayer are the ways to really connect with Jesus and develop strong faith. It’s not our strength, really; it’s grafting into His strength, like branches of a tree drawing life from the vitality of the trunk and the roots.

  This kind of relationship with Jesus isn’t dull duty. It’s a fun, unpredictable adventure. It’s also a paradox: when we’re rooted in God, we really begin to go places, places we couldn’t have imagined otherwise!

  I thought of this when Alan’s seventy-six-year-old mother— and her desire for Alan to return to his roots—inadvertently became the incentive for his next platinum album.

  Chapter 23

  PRECIOUS MEMORIES

  Those who honor Me, I will honor.

  from 1 Samuel 2:30

  Honor your father and your mother.

  Exodus 20:12a

  For years Alan’s mother had been asking him to record a Gospel album. She brought no pressure or guilt, of course, just the kind of nice, regular reminders by which mothers let their wishes be known.

  “I just hope that before I die, you’ll make a Gospel CD,” Mama Ruth would sigh to her only son. “I know so many people who would just love to hear you sing the great old hymns!”

  Alan laughed and teased her and promised he’d do it later. “Don’t you worry,” he said, stalling. “I’ll get around to it someday.”

  But then Alan saw his mother leave my father’s funeral service, with tears streaming down her face after she heard his recording of “Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus.”He felt a new urgency to make his mama’s Gospel album.

  The Family Album

  Alan found an old Baptist hymnbook, and we sat down on the hearth by a crackling fire. I got excited as he and I sat and sang the choruses I had loved as a child. I made a short list of thirty of my favorites that I wanted him to do. He politely told me to forget it. “There’s no way I’m singin’ thirty songs,” he said.

  “People will fall asleep.”

  In the end he chose fifteen classic songs, which he recorded with wonderful but minimal accompaniment, and with no fancy arrangements, in Keith Stegall’s studio. He wanted the old hymns to sound how he remembered them from church in his childhood.

  In some ways it was a homespun family project.He asked the girls and me to sing “’Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus,” and Alan did the album’s artwork and photography himself. He found an old, white chapel that looked just like his mother’s country church from her childhood, and also shot photographs of our big old family Bible. After he printed the photos, he found that a cross made of light beams was illuminated on the Bible’s dark cover.

  The CD was finished just before Christmas, and Alan’s mother came to join us for the holidays. “Mother,” Alan said to her early on Christmas morning, before anyone else was downstairs, “I want to give you your present now, so you have time to enjoy it.”

  Mama Ruth sat at our breakfast counter, and Alan turned on the CD. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she heard his voice sounding so much like it had when he sang at church when he was young. She couldn’t help but reflect on everything he’d been through. She wept as she thought of the long journey he had made to get to this place of wanting to sing those hymns for her, and being able to do so with real conviction in his heart.

  My mother was also with us for the holiday. It was her first Christmas without my dad. As she opened my present to her— a quilt made out of scraps of my daddy’s old shirts—Alan’s CD happened to be playing “When We All Get to Heaven.” I smiled as I watched my mother put the soft fabric up to her face, tears in her eyes, and breathe in the faint scent of my father as the music played:

  When we all get to heaven,

  What a day of rejoicing that will be!

  When we all see Jesus,

  We’ll sing and shout the victory!

  An Unexpected Hit

  We made additional copies of Alan’s Gospel CD and gave them to extended family and friends. Then, to our surprise, the record label executives decided that our little family CD needed to be released commercially. It was an odd decision. The album wasn’t slick or professional. The label wasn’t planning to promote it. And they knew that the country radio stations wouldn’t play it. In other words, releasing it made no commercial sense. But they did it anyway.

  To everyone’s surprise, the Precious Memories CD shot up the charts and stayed there. Released in February 2006, it spent twelve of its first nineteen weeks at the top of the country, Christian, and Gospel sales charts. It was the first Gospel album ever to debut at #1 on the country music charts. It was #4 on Billboard’s all-genre 200 sales chart, with Billboard calling it “a landmark work” and “a masterpiece.” It was one of five nominees for the 2006 “Album of the Year” at the Country Music Awards. It was the top-selling album for 2006 on the Christian music charts. As Reuters news service reported in a year-end story on #1 albums, “Sometimes it’s the simplest, purest creative expressions that resonate most powerfully with consumers. The success of Alan Jackson’s ‘Precious Memories’ is a prime example.”1 After it went platinum, the label had a party, and Alan presented our mothers with generous checks to donate to the charities of their choice. It was fitting that Mother donated hers to the building fund for Unity Baptist Church, the church that I’d grown up in a
nd the sanctuary that my daddy had helped build.

  At any rate, no one in the music world could explain just why Precious Memories did so well and received so many honors. No one could figure it out at all . . . except maybe Alan’s mother. It seems that when God has special plans for something, it will accomplish exactly what He intends—despite the odds against it.

  Chapter 24

  DRIVE!

  Jesus take the wheel

  Take it from my hands

  Cause I can’t do this on my own

  I’m letting go

  So give me one more chance

  To save me from this road I’m on

  Brett James, Hillary Lindsey, and

  Gordie Sampson, “Jesus Take the Wheel”

  Irecently read a book in which the author used a metaphor I that struck home with me, probably because I live with someone who is crazy about cars. The phases of spiritual growth I’ve experienced over the last few years are like a journey down the road toward my future.

  I’m at the wheel of my imaginary vehicle—let’s say it’s a white Mustang convertible—and Jesus is in the backseat. This describes the relationship that I had with Him for the first fifteen years of my marriage. Even though in the back of my mind I knew He was there, I didn’t think about Him very much, nor did I consider His desires for my life. I was tooling along, listening to the radio, chatting on my cell phone, distracted by many things, hoping I was headed in the right direction. Sometimes I’d feel anxious, like I was driving in a fog and couldn’t see what was just ahead of me. Other times I just got lost.

  Maybe you’ve been in this situation. You may have accepted Christ as Savior, but that decision hasn’t really affected your day-to-day decisions. Or you may believe that God exists, but He seems irrelevant to your everyday experience.

  Who’s Driving?

  As I became involved in Bible study and started going back to church regularly in the mid-1990s, I began to really want to know the One I’d accepted as my Savior back when I was a child. The more I got into the Scriptures, the more I realized that I truly wanted Him to direct my life. I remembered what the Bible said about His will for me even before I was born.

  So I invited Him to move to the front seat of my life’s imaginary car. The passenger seat.

  I wanted to be closer to Jesus and to hear what He had to say about the direction I was going. I wanted His input, because I really did believe that His directions would be the best route for me.

  But at the same time, I wasn’t ready for Him to have complete control. I was going along just fine in my supposed fairytale life and was afraid that He might want me to head in an entirely different direction—one that might not be exactly what I had envisioned. I didn’t want any bumpy or difficult roads. As long as I was in control, I could listen to Christ but still make my own decisions, just in case He asked me to become a missionary to Africa.

  We rolled along fine with me in the driver’s seat. I was happy to have the renewed relationship with Him. I tuned in to radio stations that He liked. I loved the closeness and warmth I felt when He was with me.

  But when Alan left, I couldn’t keep the car under control. I had no idea which way to turn. I was totally lost, and I ended up stalled out on the side of the road. Finally I begged Christ to get in the driver’s seat, to take complete control. I wanted Him to drive my life, no matter where He’d take me.

  * * *

  AS LONG AS I WAS IN CONTROL, I COULD LISTEN TO CHRIST BUT STILL MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS, JUST IN CASE HE ASKED ME TO BECOME A MISSIONARY TO AFRICA.

  * * *

  In the words of Carrie Underwood’s great song, I cried, “Jesus, take the wheel!”

  This was scary, but absolutely freeing. I no longer had to figure out where I was going or how I would get there. To continue with the metaphor, Jesus put the top down, and now the wind blows through my hair. Sometimes we stop and pick up people whose spiritual cars have broken down. It’s fun. Life has become an open-ended adventure.

  I have an idea about where He’s taking me on our journey together because I communicate with Him as a friend, but I don’t know everything that we’ll see or do along the way. He doesn’t choose to tell me all the details about where we’re headed. But that’s fine with me . . . because I trust Him. I know He has great plans for me. I know He has destinations in mind that I never would have been able to find on my own. I’ve never felt more energized and alive than since I decided to go ahead and let Jesus drive!

  Me,Write a Book?

  For example, nine years ago the Lord gave me the unlikely desire to write this book. At first, it seemed absurd even to consider it. I had no idea how to begin, no idea how to accomplish it, no idea of the steps to take to make it happen. I’m not a writer, and I’m also just about the last person in the world who would want to open up her life for others to read. I don’t like to be exposed.

  But God gave me this crazy idea that wouldn’t go away. I felt like other people might relate to parts of my story, and that maybe God could use it to draw others to Himself, so they could enjoy His love and freedom too.And eventually, in God’s timing, He put together the team to create this book, so I didn’t have to go it alone.

  Writing a book may not seem like a big deal to someone else. But in this case, and so many others, I’m beginning to learn that with God, nothing is impossible. If I turn everything over to Him, He does for me what I could not do for myself. I’m start- ing to dream bigger dreams, knowing that I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.1

  That doesn’t mean I’m suddenly able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. The Bible makes it pretty clear that God gives us the strength to do His will, whatever He wants us to do. And while discerning the will of God is a theological topic way beyond the scope of this book, I’ve found a new connection with His character and His desires for me through spending more deep time in prayer, listening to Him.

  Like many Christians, for years I had wanted a more vibrant prayer life. I knew that Bible study and prayer were the keys to real intimacy with Jesus. And though I’d been committed to regular Bible study for several years,my prayer life was sporadic, and often dull or cold.

  I know I’m not alone in this. As Philip Yancey writes in Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference?, Gallup polls show that nine out of ten Americans pray regularly, and three out of four say that they pray every day. When Yancey interviewed people himself, most said that prayer was very important to them. The rest of the conversation typically went something like this:

  “How often do you pray? Every day. Approximately how long? Five minutes—well, maybe seven. Do you find prayer satisfying? Not really. Do you sense the presence of God when you pray? Occasionally, not often.”

  Yancey says, “Many of those I talked to experience prayer more as a burden than as a pleasure. They regarded it as important, even paramount, and felt guilty about their failure, blaming themselves.”2 In my own journey with Jesus, a specific set of tools has revolutionized my prayer life. A friend gave me a book by Becky Tirabassi titled—appropriately—Let Prayer Change Your Life. In it Becky describes her own struggles with having a regular and invigorating prayer time, and how God gave her some specific, practical steps that changed it—and her—dramatically. As I engaged in these steps, prayer became an entirely new adventure for me.

  I wake up in the mornings with all kinds of wild, random thoughts, but I take comfort that in this I’m like the great writer C. S. Lewis. He said:

  The real problem of the Christian life comes . . . the very moment you wake up each morning.All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other, larger, stronger, quieter life coming flowing in.3

  How Can I Know God?

  For me, listening to the larger, stronger voice of God starts with reading His Word. I use a Bible reading program that Becky dev
eloped. It has readings listed for each day of the year. These are selections from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs.

  After slowly reading the Scriptures, I open my mind and heart to what the Holy Spirit might be saying to me. I listen. I turn it over in my mind, kind of like a cow chewing its cud, though I’m not thrilled about comparing myself to a cow.

  Then I get out the prayer journal. It has neat, organized sections in which to jot my prayers.

  • In the praise section, I often rewrite praises from the Psalms in my own words, to give God the glory that He deserves.

  • Next I admit my sins to God, jotting down whatever He brings to mind and asking for His forgiveness so my relationship with Him can be current, without any old baggage or garbage between us. Sometimes God brings to mind things for which I need to ask other people to forgive me. For example, the other day in the car, nine-year-old Dani continued to argue with me about something after I had told her to stop. Frustrated, I got very upset with her and reacted with anger. During my prayer time, I realized that I needed to go back and ask her forgiveness for my lack of self-control. So I did!

  • In the request section, I write down my concerns and requests for myself and others. It has been incredibly rewarding to look back at these journal pages and see all the prayers that God has answered. Some answers have been those I asked for; others have been way outside the box of my own expectations.

  • The next section is for giving thanks to God. The more I write on these pages, the more comes to mind. Gratitude to God perpetuates more gratitude. It’s addictive!

  • In the listening section, I write whatever I feel the Holy Spirit is saying to me. It might be a certain Scripture that I read that day, or perhaps a new sense of God’s guidance in a particular situation. Or something may come to mind that I feel the Lord is leading me to do that day.