It's All About Him

by Denise Jackson

  • Lastly, I write down anything from the Scripture readings that I want to memorize or apply in a particular way.

  My grandmother had her own disciplines for spending time with God in prayer; my daughters may well have different ways that they do it. But for me, this system has been enormously helpful. What is important is not the particular format, but the priority of time reserved for connecting with God. The more we seek Him out, the more we’re drawn to be like Him—and the more we’re at peace as we see His direction in our lives.

  In a world so full of troubles and turns on life’s road, prayer really is the believer’s key to peace with God. For me, it’s the only way I can continue to stay in the passenger seat, where I belong, and make sure that Jesus is at the wheel of my life.

  Chapter 25

  HAPPILY EVER AFTER, EVENWHENWE’RE NOT

  In this world you will have trouble.

  But take heart! I have overcome the world.

  John 16:33b

  Two old people without a thing

  Children gone but still they sing

  Side by side in that front porch swing

  Livin’ on love

  He can’t see anymore

  And she can barely sweep the floor

  Hand in hand they’ll walk through that door

  Livin’ on love

  Alan Jackson, “Livin’ on Love,”

  On a crisp fall evening last year, Alan and I stood at the edge of the football field at our daughters’ high school, feeling like we were about eighty years old. It was Mattie’s homecoming game, and her classmates had elected her as a member of the homecoming court. At her school, these class representatives tend to be not only beautiful young women, but also good students, who show leadership abilities and strong character. We were proud of Mattie for being recognized in this way.

  At halftime, we climbed down from the stands and stood in front of the chain-link fence adjacent to the field. The band played, and blue and white balloons and banners lined the playing field. The announcer called out the girls’ names as they perched on the backs of convertibles proceeding slowly around the field.

  * * *

  NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE CAN ROMANTICIZE RELATIONSHIPS, FULFILLMENT, AND THE FUTURE WHEN WE’RE TEENAGERS, REAL LOVE STORIES PLAY OUT MUCH LONGER, AND WITH A LOT MORE COMPLEXITY, THAN A TWO-AND-A -HALF-MINUTE SONG ON THE RADIO.

  * * *

  “And the sophomore class representative is Miss Mattie Jackson!” he said. Alan and I whooped, clapped, and took several million pictures as Mattie and her escort,Michael, got out of the car and took their places in a semicircle with the rest of the homecoming court.

  As I watched Mattie with her long, coral dress and her dark hair gleaming in the lights of the football stadium, I was suddenly struck by a sense of déjà vu, or time travel, or both. I remembered so clearly when I was Mattie’s age, standing in the bright lights, my whole life in front of me. Alan had been my escort all those years ago . . . and now here we were, hanging on to the fence in the stadium while our daughter experienced her own high school rite of passage.

  I looked up at Alan, and back at Mattie, and thought how very strange life is.No matter how much we romanticize relationships, fulfillment, and the future when we’re teenagers, real love stories play out much longer, and with a lot more complexity, than a two-and-a-half-minute song on the radio.

  Fairy Tales and Real Life?

  In real life the fairy tale is different from the simple version we dream of when we’re young. In real life the prince and princess don’t just put on the glass slipper, or get rid of the evil stepmother or the villain, and then it’s happily ever after. As Alan’s very first #1 record put it, “The boy don’t always get the girl/here in the real world.”

  In real life, heroes and heroines go through all kinds of struggles, trouble, and heartaches. If they don’t die young, they get wrinkles and lose their hair. They laugh and cry together over decades. They break each other’s hearts and help each other heal. Real love matures. It means having to say you’re sorry. Real love is deeper, wilder, and stronger than the two-hour romances we see at the movies.

  I’m just beginning to learn about that kind of real love. I haven’t figured it all out, and even if I had, I still wouldn’t be able to live it, day in and day out. I practice “real love” imperfectly, at best.

  But that’s where I find real life in my relationship with Jesus so absolutely freeing. I don’t have to be perfect. I can’t be perfect. But I know that He is with me, forgiving me when I fail and picking me up when I fall. And because of His presence and power with me, I can begin to be the wife, mother, daughter, and friend that I was truly designed to be. When it’s all about Him, then our stories not only have an unbelievably happy ultimate ending, but every chapter—happy or sad—is somehow sweeter than the one before.

  Time for Dessert

  I once heard a story about an elderly lady who went to her young pastor to plan her funeral arrangements. I don’t know exactly where this took place, but it sounds like the South to me.

  The woman listed her choice of hymns, Scripture selections, and exactly what outfit she wanted to wear in her open casket. The pastor, smiling, took careful notes.

  “There’s one more thing,” the lady said.

  “What is it, Mrs. Jones?” the pastor asked. “I’ll do whatever I can to honor your wishes.”

  “I want you to make sure that the funeral home takes care of one final arrangement,” she said, tapping her cane on the floor for emphasis. “I want them to put me in my casket with a silver fork in my hand.”

  “A fork?” the pastor repeated.

  “Yes,” she said. “A sterling silver dessert fork. And when everyone comes and looks in the casket to pay their respects, and they say, ‘Why in the world does she have a dessert fork in her hand?’ I want you to tell them the reason why.”

  “And what might that reason be?” the pastor asked, scratching his head.

  The elderly woman smiled. “Son, when I was young,my parents told me to eat up my dinner because the best part of the meal was yet to come. We always looked forward to dessert, knowing it would be sweet.

  “So I want you to tell those people that I was buried with a dessert fork in my hand because I knew that after this life comes the sweetest part of all. Tell them I knew that by God’s grace, the best is yet to come! ”

  I don’t think I want to be buried with a dessert fork in my hand, but I agree with the lady in this story. I’ve learned that all kinds of troubles will come in this life. Jesus said to expect them. They’re not the exception; they’re the norm. Today’s world simmers with terrors and unrest, and our personal lives can churn with hard times too.

  But I’m learning that I don’t have to be afraid or anxious when the crises come. God is with me. He will give me whatever I need to get through life’s challenges. He can do miracles in me, right in the midst of troubled times.

  And, whatever happens, He is writing our life story. If we yield to His control, we can have peace as our story unfolds. We can have confidence and a sweet sense of anticipation that all will be well in the end, when we’re enjoying His pleasures for- ever. The Bible promises, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.”1

  To be sure, the very best is yet to come!

  Reflection

  I don’t know where you are on your journey of faith. Maybe you’re at the steering wheel of your life’s car. Maybe Jesus is in the backseat, or the passenger seat, and you’re realizing that you need to ask Him to take the wheel. Or maybe Jesus isn’t even in your car, but He’s by the side of the road, calling out to you that there is danger ahead.

  If you’ve never really had a relationship with God, and are interested, here are a few things to think about.

  First, it’s God who stirs our hearts to seek Him. If you find yourself wanting to know God, then the Holy Spirit is moving in your life, like a gentle wind, refresh
ing you and drawing you to Christ.

  The wind blows wherever it pleases.

  You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going.

  So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.

  (John 3:8)

  Second, there’s some bad news. The bad news is that human beings are sinful. The Bible says that all of us have sinned, violating God’s absolute standards of pure perfection. Even the very best of us is spiritually contaminated . . . and so we can’t connect with an utterly clean, holy God. Not only that, sin’s fair consequence is death: spiritual death and separation from God.

  All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

  (Romans 3:23)

  For the wages of sin is death,

  but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

  (Romans 6:23)

  Third, there’s some good news. God chose to rescue us from our natural fate. He loves us and made a way for us to connect with Him. That way is His Son, Jesus Christ. The Bible says that God loved the world so much that He sent Jesus to take the punishment of our wrongdoing—so that we could be freed from the sentence of spiritual death.

  God demonstrates his own love for us in this:

  While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

  (Romans 5:8)

  God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,

  that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

  (John 3:16)

  Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life.

  No one comes to the Father, except through Me.”

  (John 14:6)

  Fourth, what can we do? We can receive Christ. “Receiving Christ” begins with admitting that you are a sinner, and asking Him to forgive you. Whether you and I appear to have led pretty good lives, or others see us as vile and filthy through and through, it really doesn’t matter, in terms of our “worthiness.” All of us on the planet are unworthy of God’s love and His gift of eternal life.

  But He gives that gift of eternal life freely! All we need to do is accept it by agreeing with Him about the state of things, believing that Jesus paid the fair penalty for our sins when He died on the cross, and that He beat death and rose from the dead.

  Based on everything we know of God, whether it’s a lot or a little, and everything we know about ourselves, whether it’s a lot or a little, we open our hearts, humbly giving control of our lives over to Him.

  If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

  (1 John 1:8–9)

  To all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.

  (John 1:12)

  Fifth, this is an act of faith. There may well be no drama, bells, whistles, or signs in the sky. You may or may not feel any different. But this is about believing that God will do what He says. It’s about trusting in Someone we cannot see.

  Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

  (Hebrews 11:1)

  By grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.

  (Ephesians 2:8–9)

  This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.

  (Romans 3:22)

  If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

  (Romans 10:9)

  Sixth, if you’ve prayed and opened your life to Christ, make sure to tell someone! Read the Gospel of Mark or John in the Bible, and connect with a local church, where the Bible is taught and the people love God, so you can grow and be supported in your new faith.

  Resources

  Here’s a list of some of the resources that have been a great help to me in my spiritual journey. There are many more that I haven’t listed, but I hope these few might be useful for you.

  • The Bible! This is a nonnegotiable, of course. If you don’t have a modern translation, get one! I’ve enjoyed using the New International Version and the New Living Translation.

  • Dan Allender, To Be Told: Know Your Story, Shape Your Future (Colorado Springs:WaterBrook, 2005).

  • Bible Study Fellowship, bsfinternational.org.

  • Henry T. Blackaby and Claude V. King, Experiencing God: How to Live the Full Adventure of Knowing and Doing the Will of God (Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1998).

  • Community Bible Study, communitybiblestudy.org.

  • C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: Macmillan, 1943).

  • Max Lucado, A Love Worth Giving (Nashville: W Publishing, 2006) and It’s Not About Me (Nashville: Integrity, 2004).

  • Beth Moore, Living Proof Ministries, lproof.org.

  • Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Wife (Eugene, OR.: Harvest House, 1997) and The Power of a Praying Parent (Eugene, OR.: Harvest House, 1995).

  • Lewis Smedes, The Art of Forgiving (New York: Random House, 1996) and Shame and Grace: Healing the Shame We Don’t Deserve (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1994).

  • Becky Tirabassi, My Partner Prayer Notebook, The Change Your Life Daily Bible, Let Prayer Change Your Life, Sacred Obsession. www.beckytirabassi.com.

  • A. W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God and The Knowledge of the Holy (multiple editions of both available).

  • Ellen Vaughn, Radical Gratitude: Discovering Joy Through Everyday Thankfulness (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2005) and Time Peace: Living Here and Now with a Timeless God (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2007).

  • Philip Yancey, Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference? (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2006).

  About the Authors

  Aformer flight attendant and elementary school teacher, Denise Jackson currently delights in devoting most of her time to her husband, country music superstar,Alan Jackson, and their three daughters, ages seventeen, fourteen, and ten. In addition to spending time with her family, Denise enjoys playing tennis and is an avid student of the Bible.

  Ellen Vaughn is an award-winning author and speaker. Her works of fiction include The Strand and Gideon’s Torch, which she coauthored with Chuck Colson. She collaborated with Colson on eight other nonfiction books. Vaughn’s recent solo works include Radical Gratitude and Time Peace. Former vice president of executive communications for Prison Fellowship, Vaughn speaks frequently at Christian conferences and has been featured at writers’ seminars in the U.S. and Canada. She and her husband, Lee, live in Virginia with daughter Emily, fifteen, twins Haley and Walker, twelve, and an enormous dog named after C. S. Lewis.

  NOTES

  Chapter 14

  Letting Go

  1. Matt. 13:31–32

  2. Mark 9:17–24

  Chapter 15

  Praying New Prayers

  1. Max Lucado, A Love Worth Giving (Nashville: W Publishing Group, 2002).

  Chapter 17

  Coming Home

  1. See Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Wife (Eugene, Oreg.: Harvest House, 1997).

  2. Here are some of the biblical sources for those “downloads”:

  • “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. I will build you up again” (Jer. 31:3–4a).

  • “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’ declares the LORD, ‘and will bring you back from captivity’” (Jer. 29:11–14a).

  • “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland” (Isa. 43:19).

&nb
sp; • “‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:9–10).

  • “Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age’” (Matt. 28:18–20).

  Chapter 18

  A Hard Road

  1. Phil. 4:6–7.

  2. Luke 7:37.

  3. Luke 7:47.

  4. “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us” (Ps. 103:11–12).

  5. For the Christian, forgiving another human being has to be considered in light of God’s forgiveness of us. We learn how to forgive by imitating what God has done in our own lives. I don’t think I would have been able to let go of hurt and rage if I hadn’t felt such an overwhelming sense of God’s pardon of my sins, over and over again. “God is the original, master forgiver,” theologian Lewis Smedes wrote. “Each time we grope our reluctant way through the minor miracle of forgiving,we are imitating his style. I am not at all sure that any of us would have had imagination enough to see the possibilities in this way to heal the wrongs of this life had he not done it first.” Lewis B. Smedes, The Art of Forgiving: When You Need to Forgive and Don’t Know How (New York: Random House, 1996).

  6. 1 John 1:8–10.