Killian

by E. A. Weston

  Once Killian finishes the story, I find myself crying. Soft tears fall from my eyes and I can’t lift my head from his chest, afraid of him seeing me.

  “Did you like my story, Reagan?” he whispers, brushing his fingers through my hair. All I can do is nod. The wall around my heart has imploded on itself, allowing two years of bottled up emotions to flood my veins. After a few minutes, I can compose myself enough to announce I am tired and crawl into the tent without another word. Closing my eyes, I wrap my sleeping bag up to my chin and tell myself not to cry again. I don’t know how long it has been, but eventually, Killian climbs inside, zipping up the tent. He crawls into his sleeping bag and I can feel him staring at me, but he leaves me alone. Squeezing my eyes shut, I hope sleep comes soon.

  Chapter 16

  The next morning, I wake to an empty tent. Lying in here alone, I stare up at the blue material. Killian’s story from last night floods my brain. It hurts so much. I never thought a story could inflict such physical pain. Crawling out of the tent, I look around, trying to see where Killian is. The whole place is empty. My stomach rumbles, so I poke the fire back to life before adding more twigs to it. I watch the flames build then throw on a log.

  By the time I eat breakfast and wash the dishes, Killian is still not back and I am getting a little worried. He said he has never been camping before, so I don’t know how much he knows about being out in the “wild.” Going back into the tent, I find my cell phone and dial his number. It rings for a while then goes to voicemail.

  “Shit!” Throwing my phone back into my purse, I close the tent up and walk a few yards away to see if he is around. I hope he hasn’t gotten lost. How the hell will I find him and I can’t afford a rescue. Smothering the fire, I walk through the trees for a while, calling out to him. I never get an answer. After an hour, I make my way back to the tent.

  My mom always taught me if I ever got separated from her, to go back to the last place we were together and she would find me. I pace around the tent for a while then decide to call Alex.

  “Hello?” she answers in a muffled voice. “This better be good, Reagan.”

  “Hey, yeah, it is. Killian has gone missing,” I blurt out and fill her in on the camping trip.

  “So he just took off and left you?” she says, her voice getting sharper and louder so I know she is getting annoyed.

  “I’m sure he is fine, but I am a bit worried.”

  “That no good, handsome piece of—”

  “Okay, okay, calm down!” I cut off her rant because I know it will go on for ages if I allow her to start. I listen to her curse Killian out and threaten him if she finds out he has stranded me. I agree to call her back in two hours if I don’t hear from him and we will go from there. Putting my phone away, I start up the fire again, settling onto the ground I take out my jewelry making supplies. This is what I usually do when I come up here. I just make different pieces. Time drifts by as I get into my designs. When my fingers are finally sore, I look at the ground around me and count twenty-two pieces of jewelry. My eyes scan the tree line again without any luck.

  Another hour passes while I sit here worrying and starving. Walking down to the stream, I fill the pot with water to boil my hot dogs. When I arrive back at camp, I set the pot over the fire. It’s been five hours and I am beyond worried—I am actually angry. Furious. I watch the sun begin its descent when I hear rustling off to my left. Spinning around, I watch as Killian saunters towards me. His head is lowered as he approaches me. Once at the edge of the small area we are set up in, he looks up at me.

  His eyes look sad and his body tense. I want to run over and hug him, but I don’t. We just stand, staring at each other. Killian opens his mouth to speak, but I hold my hand up to stop him. I don’t want to hear his excuses. Right now, nothing he can say will make me feel better at this minute. We sit in silence for a while, both watching the fire. Finally, he moves over beside me, resting his hand on my knee.

  “I’m sorry I left. I never expected to be gone so long.” His voice sounds distant and not melodic as usual.

  “Why did you leave?” I can’t keep my curiosity in any longer.

  “I know I upset you with my story and I apologize for that. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I am sure you think me foolish to tell a story of fairies …” He shakes his head and looks off into the distance.

  “No, I don’t think you’re foolish. It’s just that story had a special meaning to me and it’s been a long time since I have heard it.”

  Killian turns to look at me. His eyes are so full of sadness, it makes me want to cry.

  “Do you feel different when you are with me?” he asks, grabbing a hold of my hands. I have no idea what he means and I am kind of startled.

  “What do you mean?” I am searching his face, looking for a hint of craziness, but all I see is sadness and pain.

  “Do you feel different—within yourself?” he asks again. I take my hands away from him and move back a little.

  “Killian, are you on something? Did you eat anything while you were off doing whatever it was today?”

  “Forget I asked.” He gives me a sad smile and returns to his seat on the other side of the fire. I know I like him and really missed him today, but I am not sure what he is asking me. I don’t know if I feel different. Well, except for that peaceful feeling I get when he is close to me. Standing quickly, I blurt out: “Calm.”

  He looks at me but says nothing.

  “You kind of make me feel calm inside … like I have nothing to worry about,” I say, sitting back down to hide my now reddening face. Jesus, why did I say that!

  “There is a lot you don’t know about me, Reagan,” he whispers, closing his eyes. Something inside of me almost breaks at seeing him look so sad. Walking around the fire, I sit beside him, taking his hand in mine.

  “Tell me, Killian. Tell me what I don’t know.”

  “You will leave me if I do. I fear you may not understand and be afraid of me.” His words do make me afraid. I want to get up and slowly walk away, but I also want to know what has gotten this beautiful man so sad.

  “I’m sure I can take it … unless you’re an ax murder. Then I will have to leave you here and run away,” I joke, bumping my shoulder into his. He gives a small laugh and shakes his head.

  “No, I am not an ax murder. A sword-wielding murderer, perhaps, but not an ax.” My eyes widen at his words and he laughs for real this time, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

  “That was mean, Killian.”

  He plants a gentle kiss on my cheek before he starts to speak. “I am not from here, Reagan. The story I told you last night is of my people. I am from a place called Avalon, and it is the most beautiful world you have ever seen. We have the tallest trees, the clearest waters, and they are sweet, too. The most beautiful flowers of every color you know—each of them have mouth-watering scents and the people …Goddess, I miss them so much.”

  I listen to him speak and watch as he stares off into space with a look of happiness etched across his face. I am not sure what to make of it—this story he is telling me. Keeping my thoughts on hold, I listen again.

  “Do you believe in fairies, Reagan?”

  I swallow hard and nod, not trusting myself to speak right now because honestly, I don’t know what I believe in. At the moment, I think he may be yanking my chain.

  “I know this must be difficult to hear, but Avalon is the home of fairies. We are from another realm and live in peace for the most part. When I was younger, I was accepted to the Tenebrosi training camp. It was a wonderful experience and I had my best friend with me. He was like a brother to me—is like a brother to me. I am sure I will see him again one day. I had to leave, though. My mother begged me to leave and I have regretted it every day since. Well, until I met you, that is.”

  He looks at me, begging me with his eyes to believe him, but I have no idea what to do now. How do I take this information? What the hell do I do with this?

  “Ki
llian, are you telling me that you are a fairy?”

  My heart rate picks up. Please don’t let me be in the woods with a lunatic. Please—I beg whoever is listening to me.

  “Yes.” His answer floors me. “And I am not a lunatic. I promise.” My jaw hits the floor and I jump up away from him, pacing on the other side of the fire just in case I need to run.

  “Killian, please. Are you messing with me? Because this is not funny. I really don’t like people making a fool of me.”

  He is up and beside me so fast I barely register it—my hands start to sweat at feeling him so close to me.

  “I am not making a fool of you, Reagan, I swear it. I would never hurt you in any way.”

  My eyes tear up. I don’t know why, but they do—I am not sad. I’m not happy, but I am scared if I’m honest. Scared of what is happening inside me, because I really believe him. Although I don’t want to admit it. Killian looks at me like he is reading my mind and wraps his arms around me.

  “I swear on the goddess I am not telling you lies, Reagan.”

  Pulling back a little, he kisses my tears away, landing his mouth over mine. I’m not sure anymore, so I pull away from him.

  “Can you—” I stammer, “can you just wait over there for a minute?” I ask, pointing to the other side of the fire. Reluctantly, he walks back around to the far side of the clearing, but his eyes never leave mine. I begin to pace again, but my mind is blank. I have no idea what to do with this. A fairy? But that is a fairy tale, a fable, something made up for children. “I don’t know what to think, Killian.”

  “I know,” he whispers. “I spent all day contemplating how to tell you or if I would.” He shoves his hands into his pockets and hangs his head. He looks dejected with his shoulders slumped forward.

  “Can you show me?” I ask out of nowhere, surprising both of us.

  “Show you what?” he asks, looking at me with caution.

  “Show me that you are a fairy. How am I supposed to believe something like that without proof?”

  I watch him nod slowly, then he begins to remove his jacket and t-shirt. He is standing in front of me half naked.

  “Are you sure?” he asks. I nod yes. He bends his head and mumbles something I don’t understand. I watch as the air around him shimmers, but nothing happens. For some reason, I am disappointed, maybe because I really did want to see a real-life fairy. He lifts his head and looks at me. “What do you see?” he asks.

  “You,” I answer, shrugging my shoulders. Killian turns his head as if he is looking at something just behind him. After some more mumbling, he pulls his clothes back on. We both sit in silence now. I don’t know what is going through his mind—his head hangs down. I feel bad for asking him to prove himself to me like I didn’t believe him.

  “Killian,” I call, but he ignores me.

  I watch him stand up then walk into the trees. Jumping up, I run after him.

  “Killian, don’t you dare leave me again,” I call, trying to keep up with him. “Jesus Christ, slow down! Do you have super speed?” I shout after him, still trying to catch up. I can just about make him out in the dense forest as I push through the trees and wild brush. But after a minute, I lose him.

  “Shit.” Looking around, I don’t know where I am now because I wasn’t paying attention. My dad would be so mad at me if he were here.

  “Killian,” I call out again, but I get no answer. Great. I am lost in the middle of the woods and it’s dark now. How much worse can this night get?

  I sit with my back against a tree and wait … and keep waiting. He doesn’t come back this way. The only light I have is the moon and that is not much use to me here in the trees. It can, however, let me see my watch. It’s now nine pm and I am royally screwed. I huddle closer to the tree as the cold dampness of the forest floor seeps into my legs and butt.

  “This sucks.” I groan, closing my eyes. I rest my head against the tree and start singing to myself. After a while, I get bored and begin talking to myself and the trees, asking them what’s it like being a tree. I think I am losing my mind.

  “Reagan!” Killian’s shout makes me jump to my feet.

  “I’m here!” I shout back, waiting for his reply, but I don’t hear one, so I shout again. “Killian, I am over here!” I stand up on my toes, hoping to see better, but it’s no use. All I see are trees. Leaning back against the bough, I wait for another while. “Where is he? Why can’t he find me?” I press my face into the tree trunk, inhaling the scent of bark—anything to not allow myself to panic.

  “Killian, please find me,” I whisper and slide down to the ground to wait.

  “Reagan, answer me. Please!” My eyes gradually open. Looking around at my surroundings, the night’s events come rushing back.

  “Reagan!” Springing to my feet, I listen again. He sounds so close. “Reagan! Reagan!” His voice sounds desperate.

  “Killian, I am here,” I shout, then stay quiet. I can hear rustling and branches breaking. Stepping up onto the tree’s root, I search over the top of the bushes but I don’t see him.

  “Reagan.” His voice is a whisper and I look all around, but he is not here.

  “Killian? I can’t see you!” My voice cracks because I think I am hearing things, then a shadow falls from the tree above me, landing quietly in front of me. It is crouched low to the ground and my panic rises. Slowly it stands up, revealing a person.

  “Reagan, I have been searching for you.” His voice is full of relief as he steps closer to me. As soon as the sliver of moonlight hits him, I freeze. It looks like him, but it doesn’t at the same time. His skin looks tanned and his hair is longer. Sitting on his shoulders is a tattoo that covers his bicep and shoulder. There’s another over his heart. He stops walking when he notices my reaction. “Reagan?” I nod but inch backward. “Princess, are you okay?”

  “Why do you look like that?” I ask, pointing at his body with a shaky finger.

  “Look like what?” he asks, stepping a little closer. His black eyes hold mine steady.

  “Killian, stop moving!” I shout at him, fear now taking over my body, causing it to shake.

  “Reagan, you need to calm down and tell me what you are seeing.”

  “You … but it’s not you. You look different. It sounds like you, your eyes are the same, but…” Shaking my head, I try to clear my vision.

  “It is me, princess. This is the real me.” His smile spreads across his face as he reaches a hand out to me. “Would you like to fly, Reagan?”

  “What the heck! Did you put something in my food this morning?” Shaking his head, he laughs at me.

  “No, princess, I told you. I would never hurt you.”

  Stepping closer to me, his hands wrap around my waist and his lips press to mine. My mind is freaking out, screaming at me to run—to push him away and just take off, hoping for the best. But his grip on me tightens as his kiss gets deeper. He pulls me up onto his waist without effort; his kiss is making me dizzy. I feel like I am floating. Killian breaks the kiss, resting his head against mine.

  “You are floating, princess,” he whispers.

  My eyes fly open and I take in the sight of the treetops. My grip on him tightens and I hold on for dear life.

  “Killian, what the hell is going on?” He just smiles at me, tightening his hold on my waist, then leans to the right.

  I’m flying. Holy shit, I am flying! My heart is thrashing against my ribs as we speed through the night sky.

  “Relax, princess. I won’t drop you.” He smiles at me.

  I loosen my death grip on him a little and look around the forest. The trees swaying in the breeze cast long shadows on the ground below from the moonlight. Killian’s hand slides up my back into my hair. “You look beautiful in the moonlight,” he says. His lips brush off mine as we slowly sink down to the ground.

  “Is this real?” I whisper, still wrapped around his body.

  “Yes, princess. This is real, and I am so happy you can see me.”
r />   Sliding down from his waist, I step back, but he holds my hand, not letting me go.

  “I don’t see wings, so how did we …?”

  I point to the sky and frown at him. He smiles at me and arches his eyebrow. I am waiting, just waiting, when two enormous shadows emerge behind him. Slowly, I take a step to his side and peek over his shoulder.

  “Wings!” I gasp when I catch sight of them. Letting my hand go, he looks at me. I have millions of questions for him, but right now, I just want to see the wings. Walking around to his back, I am shocked at what I see. Two black wings extend from his back with silver lines, no veins running throughout them. Reaching, I almost touch one but pull my hand back.

  “Can I touch them?” My voice is laced with wonder. Killian nods in agreement. My fingers brush off the very edge, causing him to gasp and shiver. “Oh, I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” I panic, pulling away from him.

  “No, princess. Not at all.”

  I can’t help it. I reach out again. This time, I gently run my hand all over the top half, feeling the smooth, cool surface. It’s like feeling satin—so smooth and unbelievably amazing. Can this really be happening? Are there such things as fairies? God, I want to believe it so bad. After exploring Killian’s wings, I step back around to face him, frowning.

  “Something wrong?” he asks, looking worried.

  “Yeah,” I say, reaching out to touch his hair. “I don’t like guys with long hair.” Killian laughs at me, then whispers something. In the blink of an eye, he is back to the Killian I met a while ago.

  “Better?” he asks.

  “No, I like the fairy, too, but I’d prefer him with that hair,” I say, pointing at his head.

  “That can be arranged someday.” His arms slide around my waist and our bodies move closer together. “Reagan, you scared me tonight,” he says. “When I couldn’t find you, I was so terrified of not being able to ever see you again.”