Killian

by E. A. Weston

  “It’s okay. I knew you would and you did, so let’s just move on.” His mouth slants over mine as he pulls me flush with him. Our chests crush together. Slowly, he walks me backward to the tent without breaking the kiss.

  “Killian,” I whisper as his lips trace down my neck. He lifts me up and carries me into the tent, lying me down on top of the sleeping bags.

  “I’m not asking for more than you are willing to give,” he whispers to me, making my heart melt. His lips meet mine again as his hands wrap around my waist. I can feel the heat coming off of his body and run my hands over his bare back. I can feel the scars and rub them gently.

  “Do they hurt?” I ask. He shakes his head no, which makes me feel better. My hand slides up his neck into his hair. Gripping it, I force his lips back to mine. We kiss until I can’t breathe. I want to feel him against me, his skin on mine. He pulls back and looks at me funny.

  “What?” I ask, but he just smiles and pulls the hem of my shirt up my body and over my head, discarding it over his shoulder. I feel so exposed lying here topless and with such a bright camping light illuminating my flaws.

  Killian laughs at me then turns off the light. With the fire as the only light coming into the tent, he looks even more beautiful.

  “You are beautiful, princess. You have no flaws,” he says, watching my face. How the hell does he know I was thinking that? I don’t care right now. I just want his hands to explore me and his lips to taste every inch of me. Killian freezes, hovering above me. His eyes bore into mine in that weird way he does it like he is trying to talk to me with his eyes. A deep groan rumbles from his throat—his lips are on mine again, his thumbs caressing my ribs, creeping upward.

  “Are you sure you want this?” he asks, lifting his mouth from mine to kiss my ear, then travel down the column of my neck.

  “Yes, I want this. I want you,” I answer, arching my back so that my breasts touch his chest. His skin is so warm and inviting. I just want to lose myself.

  His lips crush mine while his hand unclasps my bra. Pulling it down my arms, that too gets lost amongst the rest of my clothes in the tent. Killian places a trail of soft kisses down my neck to my breasts. His hand slides down my leg to lift behind my knee, wrapping it around his waist. I can feel how hard he is, pressing against my thigh. A moan escapes me.

  I want him to touch me. I want to touch him. But I also want to slow down and take our time together. Killian kisses back up to my mouth. Just the warmth of his body on top of mine is sending an ache down to my “lady bits,” as Alex would say. Reaching down, I pop the button on his jeans and push my hand inside, feeling him in my hand.

  “Reagan, slow down,” he gasps as I grip him. He must be mad if he thinks I am letting this go. I just hold tighter and move my hand up and down. “Princess, please,” he hisses through his teeth.

  “Killian, be quiet,” I growl, latching my lips to his. His fingers open my jeans, moving them lower onto my hips … then he touches me. All coherent thoughts are lost as his fingers circle me, pushing me closer and closer to the edge until I come apart in his arms. My breathing is ragged and my mind a place of quiet contentment. Killian removes his hand, holding me closer to him—once I come down from my high, I realize I still have a firm grip on him.

  “Killian,” I whisper kissing along his jaw, “your turn.” He shakes his head at me.

  “I am good, princess. I will wait for you.” Crap! Does he think I am still a virgin? His head lifts up and his eyes are wide.

  “You’re not?” he asks, confused.

  “Huh? Not what?” I ask him, my heart picking up speed.

  “A virgin? You’re not pure, Reagan?”

  He sounds hurt, but how the hell did he know that? I shake my head, holding on to him for dear life because he looks about ready to run away from me like I am disgusting to him or something. Maybe he only wants a virgin. Jesus, this is ridiculous. I am sure a hot guy like him has had plenty of women. So why am I feeling like shit right now?

  “No, you are beautiful, Reagan. Don’t ever think you are not. And you do not disgust me. In fact, you have quite the opposite effect on me.”

  His mouth meets mine and he moves his hips, letting me know the effect I have on him. He reaches into his back pocket, removing his wallet. Pulling away from me, he takes out a condom. “Are you sure?” I nod, biting my lip because honestly I am terrified, but I want this. Killian removes the rest of my clothes. I help him out of his. I am so nervous.

  His lips take mine again as he lays me down beneath him, one hand on the small of my back and the other tangled in my hair. Raising my legs on either side of him, I can feel him at my entrance. He pushes in slowly, causing me to wince.

  “Are you okay?” he asks, looking concerned.

  “Yes, just go slow.”

  He nods and rocks into me slowly. I grip his shoulders, pulling him closer to me. I want to feel all of him against me. With each thrust, I can feel myself loosen beneath him. Heat builds inside of me, my skin-dampening with sweat as my heart races. My hips keep in sync with his. Killian moves faster, thrusting deeper until both of us come apart together, our spent bodies collapsing in a tangle of limbs.

  “You are so beautiful, Reagan,” he whispers, kissing my neck. Heat floods my face, staining my cheeks. His words are a contradiction to every name I have ever been called throughout my life.

  After our bodies cool down and we climb inside the sleeping bags that I zipped together. Killian wraps his arms around me, holding me close to him. “Are you feeling okay?” he asks, grazing his teeth along my earlobe.

  “Yes, I’m good. It’s nice here with you.”

  He gives me a quick squeeze and I back into him, although we can’t physically get any closer. My eyes begin to close with my last memory of Killian kissing me to sleep.

  Chapter 17

  Killian

  * * *

  It was magical last night. It was far more special than I ever thought it could be. I have absolutely no doubt left in my mind that Reagan is my true mate.

  I spent most of yesterday wandering these woods, just contemplating letting her go. Not getting my hopes up for a chance to return to Avalon, I knew she had been crying when I told her the story of my people. I could feel her tears stain my shirt.

  My doubts about her wanting to leave the human realm remain, but I know she is mine and I am hers.

  I wish my father could share this joy with me.

  Climbing out of the tent, I start the fire. It is overcast today and still there is a chill in the air. I feel amazing, alive—finally after all these years of just existing, I can breathe. I have someone in my life that is so special to me. Someone I only hope to keep by my side and to love me with her whole heart.

  My heart has never had so much love exploding from it … all directed to my one true mate. Avery never told me it was like this. He never mentioned how hard it must have been for him to be away from Ari when we were training. I could move heaven and earth right now to find Reagan if I were apart from her. I almost did last night. I was terrified I had lost her—I couldn’t find her for hours. I know I flew over that area a dozen times before I finally got to her. Now, though, I can feel every emotion she emits. I can feel her uncertainty right now—she is wondering how I will treat her after last night.

  The only way I know how to—like the princess she is. Like the woman, I will marry one day.

  * * *

  Reagan

  * * *

  Waking up, I feel awkward and a little sore. I was hoping to wake up first and take off to the stream for a wash. But looking around, the tent is empty and Killian is outside. I can hear him breathing, which is weird. Crawling to the door, I poke my head out.

  “Hi,” I announce, feeling strange … light, almost.

  “Good morning, princess.” Killian holds out his hand for me to take, but I don’t because I am still naked.

  “Do you mind if I go to the stream? I want to have a wash,” I say feeling em
barrassed. He smiles at me and hunches down so we are eye level. Leaning over, he kisses me softly.

  “I don’t mind at all. A swim sounds like fun.” His eyes sparkle with mischief.

  He pulls me out of the tent with me screaming.

  “I’m naked!”

  “I don’t mind that either.” He grins but keeps his eyes on mine. He bends down, picking up the backpack I have beside me and carries me all the way to the stream. I am shivering when we arrive. I didn’t realize that it had gotten so cold. I almost don’t want to get into the water. Killian stands me on the ground and strips himself down. Taking my hand, he walks into the water with me.

  “Oh, my!” I screech as the icy water rushes over my legs. My teeth instantly chatter and Killian wraps me into his arms. “How are you so-so-so warm?” I stutter.

  “Are you ready?” he asks, winking at me.

  “F-for w-what?” He laughs then drops so we both dunk below the surface into the frigid water. He pulls us up almost instantly, my body shaking violently. I quickly wash my armpits and lady bits and I am done. I want out. Killian has steam rising from his body. Steam! Crawling out of the water, I grab a towel, wrapping it around myself, and shiver on the bank. Killian follows me out, wrapping me in his arms again. The heat is beginning to warm me up. He kisses my head, holding me tight.

  I kind of feel weird. He is all over me. I do like him, but I think he may be feeling something stronger.

  “Come. Let’s get you back to the fire,” he says, rubbing up and down my back. Picking me up again, he brings me back to the tent—throwing more logs on the fire, I get it blazing. Once I am warm and dry, I get dressed. Killian is making breakfast for us, so I sit and wait for him.

  “Can I ask about your necklace?” he says over his shoulder to me. My hand goes to my throat. Grabbing the silver fairy Claudia gave me, I push it back and forth along the chain.

  “Sure. What do you want to know about it?”

  “I am curious as to why you choose to get a fairy.” He smiles, handing me my food.

  “I didn’t choose it. It was a gift from my best friend. She told me never to take it off. No matter what.” I shrug my shoulders, the memories of Claudia making me smile. I really miss her.

  “Why would Alex tell you that?” Killian asks, looking puzzled.

  “It was before I met Alex. My friend from high school, she gave it to me when she left for college.”

  He nods his head while eating. I wonder if we are playing twenty questions if I can ask him something. He glances at me and laughs a little; sometimes he acts so weird. Like now laughing at nothing or staring into my eyes like he is trying to control my mind or read my mind. Glancing over, I watch him frown and tilt his head downward so I can’t see him. Again, weird.

  “Killian,” I start, but one look at his face and I stop. He looks rejected and a little annoyed.

  “Yes, Reagan?” He answers so formally.

  I shake my head and continue eating. Once I am done, I take the dishes to the stream. My mind keeps flashing back to last night and I can’t help the smile on my face. It was beautiful. Killian is a very caring lover. He didn’t push me or ask me to do weird shit … just straight up love-making with a rock-your-world ending. My cheeks heat. I don’t know why. I am alone—I splash some of the icy water onto them to cool myself down and make my way back to the tent.

  “Your phone was ringing,” Killian says once I arrive. It feels awkward now.

  “Oh, thanks.” Climbing into the tent, I grab my phone. I check my missed calls and gear myself up to deal with Alex. But it’s actually from Jake. I call him back.

  “Hey, what’s up?” I ask as soon as he answers.

  “Oh, just wondering where you are and why I haven’t heard from you,” he asks, trying to be carefree.

  “Oh, I am up at the campsite. Needed to get away for a while … you know, chill out with Mother Nature.” He laughs at me and we talk for a few minutes about nothing much. That’s the way we are. When I say goodbye, I agree to meet him for a drink on Friday night. Crawling outside, Killian is sitting where I left him.

  “Do you want to go for a walk?” I ask, feeling like I should lighten the mood. He nods his head as he stands and we shrug on our jackets then set off. I take him along a trail to a small cave my dad and I found one year. He has been so quiet and it’s annoying me.

  “Are you okay, Killian?” I ask, lifting my chin out of my jacket so he can hear me.

  “Yes, I am fine. Thank you for asking.”

  His answer makes me stop walking and I stare at him. He arches an eyebrow at me. Shaking my head, I resume my pace. I don’t know what is going on now. I thought we were good. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe he is like every other guy and just wanted a piece of ass for a few days. I probably gave it up too fast for him and now he wants out.

  “Reagan, please stop this nonsense!” he says, startling me out of my inane musings.

  “What?” I ask, looking confused and frightened.

  “I am not like every other guy, and no, I don’t just want your body. I want you. All of you.” His words halt my steps again and we just stand there looking at each other.

  “How did you know I was thinking that?” I demand. He looks at me. Clearly he let something slip and now he is regretting it.

  “Can we talk inside?” he asks, pointing to the cave.

  “I wasn’t planning on going inside. I don’t know what animal lives in there.”

  He nods at me then walks into the cave. After about five minutes, he walks out.

  “It’s empty.”

  I follow him just inside the mouth of the cave and we sit with our backs against opposite walls. “I need to tell you something about me,” he starts, making me chuckle.

  “Sorry, you said that already.” I smile at him and he finally smiles back at me.

  “Yes, I suppose I did. In my world, we believe that there is one true mate for us … someone we will spend the rest of our lives loving, taking care of, and building a life with. Once two true mates find each other, there are signs that signal that this is indeed your true mate.” He looks at me to make sure I am following, so I nod to him.

  “The first sign is usually a physical feeling. It feels like your skin is electrified or you have thousands of tiny bugs all over you, causing you to scratch and itch. Only the touch of your true mate can quell this feeling. Another is emotional. It comes when both mates are connected on an emotional level. They can feel each other’s emotions as well as their own. And in some rare but special mates, they can hear and speak with their mind.”

  I take in all this information and think back to the night in the club a few weeks ago when I first set eyes on him. My skin was on fire that night … and in Starbucks, and in the movies until he gave me that massage. Emotions. Wow, that is difficult. I mean, I like him, but I don’t think I can feel his emotions.

  “What if I only had the first feeling? Does that make me your true mate?” I ask cautiously, not really sure if I want to hear the answer. My body is so tense, my shoulders start to hurt from holding them so high. Killian looks at me, giving me a sad smile.

  “It is just something fairies believe in.” He dismisses the conversation without answering my question. He looks out the mouth of the cave into the forest. He avoids looking at me for a few minutes. I process this information while we sit in silence. Deciding to go sit by him because I can’t stand to see him look so sad, I take his hand in mine.

  “Killian, I like you. I really do. But I have never been in a relationship as serious as this, so just give me time.” Please, I beg him in my mind. His shoulders slump a little.

  “Of course, I will wait,” he whispers. “I have been waiting for a century.” I almost miss the last bit, but I pull back from him when I hear it.

  “Did you just say that you are a hundred years old?” I feel sick. My stomach turns as his eyes meet mine and they are filled with a sense of sadness I can’t fathom.

  “No, Reagan. I am one hu
ndred and fifty human years.”

  “I need to get back to camp. I need to, um, I just need…”

  I can’t even think straight. I really have to get the hell out of here. My legs carry me back to camp while my mind continues to reel. One hundred and fifty years old! He looks about twenty-five. This has to be some kind of joke. Maybe I am in a coma and this is all an alternate state of mind. This life is turning out to one fucked up joke: A cosmic comedy show staring me, Reagan Lunasa. Planting myself on my sleeping bag, I close my eyes. I feel so strange—so annoyed. I don’t usually get this upset over stuff.

  In fact, I am quite the opposite. Alex always tells me to show some kind of reaction. I need to calm down and think this through. Okay, so he is ancient, but that might be useful, I guess, in a weird way. I spot his shadow walking by the tent and then I hear the fire crackle into life. I have no idea why I am feeling so off and particularly sad. Closing my eyes, I picture my mom for the first time in a long time, her long hair just like mine, and her laugh. She always had a smile or a laugh. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her sad or my dad for that matter. I allow my thoughts to recall special occasions I had with my parents.

  Christmases, New Years, and my birthday—they really loved to celebrate that. My mom told me my birthday was the beginning of summer and we needed to celebrate. My dad would bring me up here the day before and we’d spend the night, returning the afternoon of my birthday. Mom would have music going, cakes all over the kitchen, and food—you’d think she was feeding a hundred people, not just four. My thoughts are just making me sad, so I try my best to lock them away where they belong.

  “Reagan, can I come in?” Killian asks quietly, standing outside the tent.

  “Yeah sure.”

  I watch the zipper as it follows its circular path. Killian steps inside and lies down on his bed. His eyes are closed. He has his arm covering them and he just lies there in silence. I really feel like crap for leaving him like that—for not being a better friend. I freaked out over something so stupid. Inching my way closer, I keep watching his face, but he doesn’t move. Feeling a bit daring, I lean over him, brushing my lips on his.