Jax (A Bastard Novel)

by J. L. Perry

  Tears rise to my eyes when his hand caresses the side of my face.

  ‘I need you more than I need air.’

  Grabbing the hem of his shirt, I slide it up his back. I need to feel his skin against mine. He reaches around, grabbing the neck of the shirt, and pulls it over his head. Leaning back on his haunches, he sits me up and removes my top as well. I smile when his gaze moves down to my pink lace bra.

  ‘You’re so beautiful,’ he whispers, placing his lips on the swell of one of my breasts. ‘You have the most magnificent tits.’

  My hands move to my back as I unclasp my bra. I want his mouth on me … all of me. ‘Jax,’ I whimper when he palms my breasts in his hands and swirls his tongue around one of my nipples before sucking it into his mouth. I love how he makes my body feel. Scooting off the bed and onto his knees, he reaches for the waistband of my jeans.

  ‘Are you sure you want to do this?’

  Doesn’t he realise how much I want him?

  ‘Are we still going to be friends in the morning?’ I’m not sure I could stop this either way, but I need to know before this goes any further.

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Then yes, I’m sure.’

  ‘One night with no restrictions,’ he says.

  ‘One night with no restrictions,’ I repeat, smiling.

  ‘We’ll worry about tomorrow … tomorrow.’

  ‘Tomorrow is a new day. What’s important is the here and now.’ We both smile.

  He brushes his lips against mine before pulling back to go to work unbuttoning my jeans. His eyes briefly dart up to mine, and the wicked smile he gives me holds so much promise.

  ‘It’s not going to be easy, but we’ll find a way, we always do,’ he says.

  I know this is going to complicate things, but I’m willing to take that chance. I’ve dreamt about this moment for so long. He slides my pink Converse sneakers off my feet. My body is trembling as he peppers lingering kisses down the length of my legs, removing my jeans as he goes. When he’s done, he leans back and admires his handiwork. I’m left in nothing but a tiny pair of pink lace panties.

  ‘Do you even realise how sexy you are?’ he whispers.

  I use this time to drink him in too. He’s so breathtakingly beautiful. I haven’t seen him without a shirt on in years. His strong arms and broad shoulders are bigger than I remember. His abs are so ripped. He’s all man now. Every delicious inch of him. He’s perfection in every sense of the word.

  My gaze moves to the tattoos across his chest. I’ve never seen them before.

  ‘Is that a tattoo of a piece of pink candy sitting over your heart?’

  He pauses before chuckling nervously. ‘What can I say? I love pink candy.’

  My heart starts to race. Does that tattoo have anything to do with me, or is it wishful thinking on my part? I want to ask him, but I’d feel silly if he said no. I’m distracted from my thoughts when his thumbs hook in the waistband of his sweats. My eyes travel down to his waist and my tongue moistens my lips as he reveals his delicious V. I gasp the moment he pulls his pants and boxer briefs down around his hips.

  ‘Oh my God.’ My eyes widen as my hand covers my mouth. ‘You didn’t.’

  ‘If my memory serves me correctly, you were the one who said my cock should come with a warning label.’

  I did say that, but it was in jest. Now he has words tattooed across his pelvis in fancy cursive writing: Warning choking hazard. Below the phrase is an arrow pointing straight to his dick. I remove my hand from my mouth and burst out laughing.

  ‘I love it.’

  ‘I thought of you when I had it done. It reminded me of …’ Again his words trail off. Why are we incapable of talking about that night? Maybe it’s because it was the night that changed everything.

  Jax may be the only person I’ve ever slept with, but I’m not completely innocent. I’ve seen a few penises in my time, and he really does have a spectacular example, huge and particularly beautiful. He could be a penis model if there were such a job, that’s how perfect it is.

  ‘You take my breath away,’ I breathe as I scoot to the edge of the bed, placing my hands on his hips. I lick my lips and look up at him through my eyelashes. It’s been so long since I’ve done anything like this, but I’m sure it’s a skill you never forget, like riding a bike.

  ‘Candice,’ he groans as his hands slide into my hair. ‘To this day I still remember what your lips felt like wrapped around my cock. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve jacked off to that memory.’

  I love that. After he left, I often thought about our night together, but in the end I had to let it go. It was too painful.

  His whole body trembles when I lick a line up the length of his shaft, before circling my tongue around the crown. ‘You have a beautiful cock, Jax.’

  ‘Sweet Jesus,’ he whimpers as I take him in my mouth. ‘I don’t even want to know where you learnt to suck cock like this.’

  It’s not like I took blowjob lessons. I’m just a natural.

  I put everything I have into this moment as I work him over with my mouth, my tongue and my hands. Within minutes, his grip on my head tightens.

  ‘Fuck, I’m gonna blow already.’ He tries to pull back, but I hold tight. He didn’t let me finish the job last time. I want to taste him.

  I look up at him just as he throws his head back and groans loudly. I moan around his cock when I feel his hot cum hit the back of my throat. Pleasing him like this is such a turn-on. I don’t stop until I’ve milked him of every last drop.

  Without speaking a word, he places his hands on my shoulders and pushes me back onto the mattress. He hastily rips my panties down my legs, never once taking his eyes off me. His are the actions of a desperate man as his body moves to cover mine.

  ‘I have no words for your spectacular oral skills.’ He’s smiling as he shakes his head. ‘No fucking words.’

  His mouth and hands are everywhere, but I’m not complaining. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like this. I haven’t noticed just how dead I’ve been inside until now. With every look, every kiss and every touch, he’s slowly bringing my damaged heart back to life.

  ‘I need to taste your sweet pussy,’ he says. The last orgasm I had was three and a half years ago. I’m not sure if my body will be able to take it.

  He moves to the side of the bed, lifting my legs and placing my feet on each of his shoulders. Using his hands, he spreads my knees wide. There’s a look of appreciation on his face when he stares down at me. It’s surprisingly comforting, making all my insecurities vanish.

  The moment his lips come into contact with my sensitive flesh, I’m lost. Lost in the ecstasy that is Jaxson Albright’s mouth.

  ‘Jax,’ I whimper as my hands clutch his hair.

  ‘You taste like heaven.’ Drawing back, he blows hot air over my clit, and looks up at me. His eyes never leaving mine, he moves his face forward, licking a path straight up my centre. I quiver. ‘Just as sweet as I remember.’

  Seeing his handsome face between my thighs is a sight, I can tell you. I release a long, drawn-out moan when he slips a finger deep inside me.

  ‘You’re so wet … so tight,’ he murmurs. ‘I can’t wait to be inside you, again.’

  I smile, but on the inside I’m doubting his words. The last time he was inside me, he ran. Maybe it’s just something he says to all the women he beds, part of his spiel. Does he even have a spiel? God, I hope not. I want to mean more to him than all the others. I want to be the special one.

  Pushing those thoughts out of my mind, I concentrate on him. If this is our last time together, then I want to savour every second of it.

  My inner thighs press tightly against his head and my toes curl. I’m already on the edge as my body climbs to a place of pure ecstasy. It’s a feeling that’s been foreign to me for so long, I’m not sure if I can even handle it. I hope I don’t pass out.

  ‘Jax,’ I pant when he brings me over the edge, tugging roughly on his h
air. ‘I’m … I’m coming.’

  I’m still reeling from my orgasm as he makes his way back up my body. I swear I’m seeing stars. ‘I need to be inside you,’ he whispers against my mouth.

  When he grabs hold of his cock and slides it through my wetness, my whole body tenses. ‘Don’t forget the condom.’

  I grin when his eyes meet mine. I’m trying my best to act light-hearted, but I am feeling anything but.

  ‘Really? I can pull out like last time. You’re the only one I’ve ever gone bareback with. I need to feel all of you, Candice.’

  Lifting my hand, I place it on the side of his face. ‘Please put a condom on.’ I’m not getting into the reasons behind my request. He needs to wrap it, end of story.

  ‘Okay.’ He pushes off the bed. For a split second I think he’s going to change his mind about doing this. ‘I’ll just grab one. They’re in the bathroom.’

  Relief floods through me. I prop myself up on my elbows to ogle his magnificent arse. He has nice, tight, round buns. Perfection.

  He’s already rolling the condom onto his impressive length as he walks back into the room. The second he settles over the top of me again, his beautiful brown eyes meet mine. The corners of his lips turn up as he gently brushes my hair back off my forehead. ‘Are you sure about this? It’s not too late to say no.’

  ‘I’m sure.’

  ‘Thank fuck. I was hoping you’d say that.’ We both laugh as he lines himself up. When he slides the tip inside me, I close my eyes and moan. ‘Open your eyes,’ he commands. ‘I want you to see who’s making you feel like this.’

  He waits until I do as he’s asked. No words are spoken, but his expression conveys so much. It almost looks like love. Does he feel the same way about me as I do about him? Maybe not, but in this moment I’d say yes.

  I run my hand softly over his hair. My gaze never once leaves his. I love you with all my heart, Jaxson Albright, I say in my head, hoping he can read my mind. I wish I could voice those words. I want him to know how I feel about him.

  ‘Jax,’ I whisper.

  ‘Candice,’ he groans, inching further inside me. I watch his eyes slightly roll back in his head the moment he pushes all the way in. It feels good, yet kinda hurts as well. Like a burning feeling. I guess when you’re with someone who’s hung like him, it’s to be expected. I’m grateful when he stills again, giving me time to adjust. It’s been a long time for me.

  His lips softly cover mine. The kiss is so beautiful and passionate, like nothing I’ve ever experienced, and I feel tears rise in my eyes. Clenching them closed, I wrap my arms around his torso, pulling him closer. My hands tenderly caress his strong back as I allow my body to feel. There’s been a piece of my heart missing for so long, but in this moment I feel whole again. Jax is the only one capable of doing that. I wish he could see how perfect we are for each other.

  ‘Oh God,’ I whimper, as he picks up the pace. Our bodies dance in sync as he thrusts into me over and over again.

  His short, hard strokes become long and languid. ‘Jesus, I have to slow down,’ he says in a low voice. Suddenly he’s gone, and there’s an emptiness where he was.

  ‘What’s going on?’ I prop myself up on my elbows, as he stands beside the bed, looking down at me. God, please don’t run again. My heart won’t take it a second time.

  ‘I need to feel all of you, Candice.’

  My heart drops. If he’s referring to the condom, he’s leaving that fucker on, no ifs or buts.

  ‘It’s selfish, but I want to stay inside you for as long as I can.’ Moving to the foot of the bed, he grabs my ankles like a caveman, and slides me down so my butt is on the edge. I’m not sure what he’s doing, but I like the way he’s dominating me. It’s hot. He kneels down in front of me, gently lifting my feet and placing my heels on the edge of the mattress. ‘Leave them there,’ he instructs.

  I’m completely open to him, on display, exposed. ‘Okay.’

  ‘Christ, you’re beautiful.’ He grabs a pillow and lifts my hips, placing the pillow under my arse. ‘I’m going to take my time, but I need to be deep inside you.’ He pushes my legs apart and slowly guides the head of his cock into my pussy again.

  ‘Oh shit,’ I say through another long, drawn-out moan when he pushes all the way in. He’s so big, and so deep … I may even suffer some brain damage because of it. Closing my eyes, I will my body to relax. I want to enjoy what he’s doing to me.

  ‘Keep your eyes open,’ he demands.

  I’m struggling. The intense, full sensation is pushing me closer and closer to the edge again. He brings the crown of his cock out, and traces it along my flesh.

  ‘Jesus,’ I whisper.

  His hooded eyes are glued on mine; he’s watching me as I’m watching us. This is the biggest turn on. He knows what he’s doing, and it’s driving me crazy.

  ‘More,’ I shamelessly beg.

  He impales me in one swift movement, and my hips automatically gyrate towards him. ‘Shit!’ he groans. Sliding his arms under my knees, his fingers dig painfully into my flesh. He rotates his hips, creating long, slow movements I can’t help but match.

  ‘You feel so good.’ I try to keep my eyes open, but the powerful draw between us is too strong. My eyelids flutter shut so I can appreciate the intensity of our closeness. It’s like our two bodies have become one.

  Jax’s movements increase in speed. He’s no longer gentle. And I love it—I love him.

  ‘I can’t hold on any longer,’ he says. His face is turning red and his neck muscles are protruding from the effort of trying to hold back his orgasm. Watching him lose control because of me only turns me on more. He lets my left leg go, and brings his fingers down to my clit. His thumb roughly teases me.

  My body is about to fall over the edge into ecstasy, but I try my best to hold on. I want to come with him.

  He clenches his jaw tight and thrusts deep inside me. ‘Fuck.’

  He moves his body forward, trapping his hand between us, but still manages to make me orgasm. With one flick, I begin to fall with him.

  ‘Oh God.’ I try to be quiet, but there’s no way I can. Jax owns my body, he knows it better than I do. His fingers, his mouth and his cock push me to the peak. My legs tremble as he extracts every ounce of pleasure from me.

  It takes a few minutes for my body to calm.

  Leaning in, he gives me a drowning kiss. One that tells me there’s plenty more to come, and this was only the entrée. My fingertips draw light circles up and down his back, and the sensitive flesh between my legs cries out for more.

  ••••

  ‘I’m fucked,’ he says breathlessly, when he rolls off me. ‘Literally.’

  Makes two of us. I’m sure I’ll be feeling the effects of tonight for days to come. He took me over and over again, in every way imaginable. And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t enjoyed every second of it. He’s a sensational lover, but he’s had plenty of practice. I erase that thought immediately from my mind, I don’t want to ruin the moment.

  I look over at the clock on the bedside table. ‘Shit. It’s four am.’ My heart is suddenly weighed down, knowing our time together is almost over. Have we really been going at it for that long? ‘I guess what they say is true … time flies when you’re having fun,’ I say, rolling on my side to face him. What we shared was more than just a bit of fun, it was magical.

  Turning over to face me, he reaches up and tucks my hair behind my ear. ‘I guess we should get some sleep. We have to get up for work in a few hours.’

  ‘I suppose.’ I try not to let my disappointment show, but fail miserably.

  ‘Come here,’ he says, pulling me into his arms. ‘Thank you for coming here. You have no idea what this has meant to me.’

  ‘There’s no other place I’d rather be,’ I reply as my fingers gently brush over his hair. ‘I’ll always be here for you.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘You don’t have to thank me, Jax. You’re my best friend. That’s
what friends do. They are there for each other.’

  ‘Candice,’ he says, tenderly cupping my face in his hand, ‘I … um.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Nothing,’ he replies with a sigh. ‘Goodnight.’

  ‘Goodnight, Jax.’

  His lips softly meet mine. My heart is smiling as I snuggle in closer to him. This is the first time I’ll be sleeping in his arms, so I’m going to make the most of it. Placing my head on his chest, I let the steady beat of his heart lull me to sleep.

  ••••

  When I open my eyes, the first thing I do is smile. Not only is Jax still here, but our bodies are tangled together in the same position they were in when we fell asleep. Last night was everything I’d dreamt it would be, and so much more. There’s no denying we’re magical together, in every sense of the word. I hate that this has to end. I should never have agreed to only one night. It wasn’t enough. I have a feeling that spending every day of the rest of my life with him wouldn’t be enough.

  I lift my hand and gently move the piece of hair that’s fallen onto his forehead, careful not to wake him. I take a few minutes to study him. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps. I’d give anything to be able to wake up next to him like this, every morning. Just the thought of it brings a lump to my throat. If life has taught me anything over the years it’s that there’s no point wishing for the impossible.

  I place my lips softly on his. ‘I love you, Jaxson Albright,’ I whisper as I untangle myself from him and climb out of bed.

  JAX

  My heart sinks when I open my eyes and find her gone. Please let her still be in the house somewhere. We agreed to one night, but I’m not ready for it to end yet. While she’s still here, she’s mine. I quickly rise from the bed and head into the hallway. I don’t even bother to put any clothes on. My heart is furiously thumping in my chest. Just as I pass the bathroom, the door flings open. Relief floods through me when I swing around and see Candice standing in the doorway.