Jax (A Bastard Novel)

by J. L. Perry

  ‘No, it’s not.’ She opens her eyes, and turns her face towards mine. Without saying a word, I place a soft kiss on her bruised cheek and then on her cut lip. ‘Does it feel better now?’ I ask.

  ‘My lip still hurts; you may need to kiss it again.’ She’s smiling as she speaks.

  Sliding my arm around her waist, I turn her body to mine and draw her closer. My eyes close when our mouths meet again. I’ve missed her sweet lips. She moves her hand up to cup my face as my lips linger against hers. Neither of us take the kiss any further. It’s just a simple peck, but my cock is so hard right now it aches.

  When she finally pulls back, she rests her forehead against mine. ‘I love you so much, Jaxson Albright, it hurts.’

  JAX

  I DROP CANDICE HOME JUST BEFORE NINE. I ALMOST CALLED in sick so I could spend the day with her, but not only do I have a business to run, I need space to think. To process everything. There’s no denying how I feel, but can I really let the past go? Are we strong enough to get through everything that has happened? I have Maddie to think of as well. If things don’t work out between Candice and me, where does that leave the whole co-parenting thing?

  We timed it so Sophia had already left to take Maddie to school. Maddie is still unaware of the attack on Candice, so we didn’t want her spending her day worrying about it. Candice can talk to her about it tonight. Sophia looks after Maddie while we’re at work, but other than that she leaves the parenting up to us. She’s taken on the grandmother role now instead. That’s how it should’ve been from the very beginning.

  I try hard throughout the morning to focus on the job, but Candice remains at the front of my mind. Around lunchtime, I pull out my phone and shoot her a text.

  Me: Hey. How’s things?

  She replies almost immediately.

  Candice: Good. Sophia is fussing over me like a mother hen.

  I chuckle at her reply.

  Me: I bet she is.

  Candice: She just asked who I was talking to. She said to say hi, and asked if you want to come over for dinner tonight?

  Me: Sure. Tell her thanks. And hi.

  Candice: Great. I’ll see you tonight then. I know I already said it, but thanks again for taking care of me last night. x

  Me: You’re welcome. See you tonight.

  Putting my phone back in my pocket, I walk towards reception.

  ‘What are you looking so happy about?’ Gus says as I pass him in the corridor.

  ‘What?’

  ‘You’re smiling, like you just got lucky or something.’

  ‘Or something,’ I reply.

  He gives me a sceptical look as he passes me and pops his head inside the door of my studio.

  ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘Just making sure you don’t have a hot babe hiding in there.’

  ‘You’re an idiot.’ I chuckle, shaking my head.

  He returns and places his hand on my shoulder. ‘Well, what put that smile on your face then? Come on, you can tell me.’

  ‘Do you really want to know why I’m so happy?’ I raise one of my eyebrows.

  ‘Fuck yeah.’ He rubs his hands together like he thinks he’s about to hear a juicy secret. He’s so gullible.

  Leaning forward, I whisper, ‘I’m heading out to lunch, so that means I won’t have to see your meathead for the next hour.’

  I throw my head back and laugh when he punches me in the arm.

  ‘Very funny, arsehole,’ he calls out to my retreating back.

  ••••

  Sophia offers to bath Maddie after dinner. I’m not stupid—she wants to give Candice and me some time alone. Candice has applied some makeup over her bruised cheek and lip, but the injuries are still visible.

  ‘What did you tell her?’ I ask.

  ‘That I fell,’ she replies, shrugging. ‘She doesn’t need to know the truth.’

  She’s right, telling Maddie the truth will do no good. She’s too young to understand. ‘Fair enough.’

  ‘Naomi has given me the rest of the week off.’

  ‘What? Who’s Naomi?’

  ‘My boss. She called me this morning. She actually said I can take as much time off as I need, but I told her I’d be right to come back Monday.’

  ‘Like fuck. You’re not going back there, Candice.’

  ‘Excuse me? You can’t tell me what to do.’

  ‘There’s no way in hell I’m letting you work there, Candice, and that’s final.’

  ‘Fuck you, it’s final. I know you help me out financially with Maddie, but I need to work. I’m not letting that twat-waffle who attacked me stand in my way.’

  I chuckle. Twat-waffle.

  ‘It’s not funny, Jax.’

  ‘I’m not laughing at that.’ Then it hits me, the perfect solution. ‘Hold on a minute.’ I grab my phone. She gives me a peculiar look when I dial a number and put the phone to my ear. ‘Hey twat-waffle,’ I say when Carter answers.

  ‘Twat-waffle? What the fuck is a twat-waffle?’

  ‘My new favourite word.’

  ‘It’s very fitting,’ he replies. ‘It describes you perfectly.’

  ‘Fuck off it does, cock,’ I say when he bursts out laughing.

  ‘Did you just call to insult me? I’m busy, what do you want?’

  ‘Of course I did. It’s fun.’ We both have a bit of a laugh before I continue. ‘You know how we were looking for someone to run our new tattoo parlour?’ My gaze moves to Candice as I speak.

  ‘Yeah. Did you find someone?’

  ‘I did. Candice.’

  ‘Really? She’d be perfect. She not only knows what she’s doing, but we can trust her.’

  ‘Exactly.’ Although I’m still working on the trust bit. ‘So are you cool with that?’

  ‘Definitely.’

  ‘Great. I’ll see you next week when you come down.’

  ‘Okay. See you then, twat-waffle.’

  ‘Hey. I told you that’s my word.’

  ‘Not anymore, fucker.’

  The line goes dead before I get a chance to reply.

  I shake my head as I put my phone on the table. ‘All settled. You can manage our new shop. We sign the papers next week. We’re hoping to be open for business in three weeks.’

  ‘Do I even get a say in this?’ Candice says, but she’s happy. I can tell by the smile she’s trying hard to hold back.

  ‘Nope. It’s a done deal, sweetheart.’

  She narrows her eyes when I wink at her, but within seconds she’s smiling. ‘I didn’t know you and Carter were buying another shop.’

  ‘This guy I used to work for is getting out of the business, so we’re taking over. It’s already established, so it makes perfect sense.’

  ‘Wow.’

  ‘If everything works out, Carter and I are planning on starting up a Wicked Ink franchise. Our dream is to have our shops all over the country.’

  ‘You’ll do it,’ she says confidently. Her belief in me never wavers.

  ••••

  I stay long enough to read Maddie a bedtime story. ‘Night, Peanut,’ I say as I tuck the blankets up to her chin and kiss her forehead.

  ‘One more story, Daddy,’ she pleads.

  ‘You have school tomorrow, you need to get some sleep,’ Candice cuts in from the doorway, where she’s been standing, watching us.

  Maddie rolls her eyes so only I can see, and I have to try hard not to smile.

  ‘Your mother is right.’

  ‘Fine.’ She shifts onto her side, tucking Puppy into her chest. ‘Night, Daddy.’

  ‘I love you,’ I say, leaning down to kiss her one more time. It’s getting harder and harder to walk away. ‘Sweet dreams.’

  After Candice says goodnight, she follows me out of the room and down the stairs. ‘I’ll walk you out.’

  ‘You don’t have to. It’s cold outside.’

  ‘I want to.’

  She opens the small drawer of the hall table as she passes and pulls out an envel
ope, before opening the front door.

  ‘Bye, Sophia,’ I call out.

  A few seconds later, Sophia appears through the doorway that leads to the kitchen. ‘Night, Jax,’ she says as she wipes her hands on a tea towel.

  ‘Thanks for dinner.’

  ‘You’re always welcome here, you know that.’

  I smile and nod before turning to follow Candice out the door. We come to an abrupt stop when we reach my car, standing there in silence. I don’t know what to say to her.

  ‘Thank you for the job offer,’ she finally says.

  ‘I don’t want you going back to the other place. You’ll be safe working for me. I’ll make sure of it.’

  ‘I know. I’m actually looking forward to working there,’ she says, wrapping her arms around herself.

  ‘You can come with me and Carter next week and check out the place if you like.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Of course. You’re going to be running it. It makes sense that you see it.’

  ‘I’d love to come. It’ll be great to see Carter too. I’ve missed him.’

  ‘He’s doing well. He’s living in Newcastle now.’

  ‘Really? Why did he move so far away?’

  ‘Some chick.’

  ‘Indiana,’ she says.

  ‘You know about her?’

  ‘Yeah. She lives next door to his parents.’

  I scratch my head. Why am I always the last to know these things? I suppose I’ve never told Carter about Candice or Maddie either.

  ‘Well, I guess I should let you get back inside, out of the cold.’

  ‘Sure.’ She smiles briefly. ‘Here, this is for you.’ She’s offering me the envelope I saw her grab a few minutes ago.

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘Just a card.’

  I take it from her, but when I go to open it, she places her hand on top of mine to stop me.

  ‘Open it when you get home.’

  ‘Okay. Thank you.’ I slide it into the back pocket of my jeans, curious as to why she doesn’t want me to open it now.

  I pull my keys out of my jacket and unlock the driver’s door.

  ‘Goodnight, Jax.’ There’s a hopeful look on her face when I glance at her over my shoulder.

  Turning, I wrap her in my arms. ‘Goodnight, Candice.’ When I rest my chin on the top of her head, I inhale her apple scent.

  I pull the card out of my pocket and put it on the passenger seat once I’m in the car. I find myself glancing at it all the way home. Curiosity gets the better of me when I pull up outside my place, and I reach for it. I turn on the interior light and tear open the envelope. Removing the card, I hold it out in front of me.

  ‘Jesus Christ,’ I mumble, flicking my wrist and letting the card go at the same time. It flies onto the passenger seat. Candice and her damn cock fetish. No wonder she told me to wait until I got home. I swear she does shit like this just to taunt me. She can deny it all she wants, but she definitely needs therapy.

  Leaning across the centre console, I smile as I look down at the card. There’s a cartoon drawing of a dick with these giant, gross-looking, hairy balls on the front. That’s not what I’m smiling at though. It’s the caption underneath: I’m nuts about you.

  Pulling my sleeve down over my hand, I use it like a glove so I can flick the card open and read what’s written inside.

  Dear Jax,

  Thank you for caring for me last night. You helped more than you’ll ever know. Whether you want to be or not, you’ll always be the sun in my day, the wind in my sky, the waves in my ocean, and the beat in my heart. I’ll forever be lost without you by my side.

  Yours always,

  Candice xxx

  A lump rises in my throat as I lean back into my seat. I know what I need to do. I leave the card where it is, because I’m not picking that fucker up again. I’ll come back out later with a pair of kitchen tongs or something.

  When I unlock my front door, I head straight into the kitchen and open the top drawer. I pull out the envelope that contains the letter I wrote to Candice when I first moved to Sydney. The heart in a bottle necklace is still enclosed. Things would’ve been so different if she’d gotten this back then.

  Pulling out a fresh envelope, I put the original one inside it. I grab a pen and write her name and address on the front. Tomorrow morning I’m going to do what I should’ve done a long time ago—resend it.

  It’s time she knew the truth—that I’ve loved her just as long as she’s loved me.

  JAX

  ‘MORNING, BOSS … ANA,’ GUS SAYS WHEN HE COMES THROUGH the front door.

  ‘Gus,’ I reply with a nod. ‘Have you got a minute?’

  ‘Sure, what’s up?’

  My gaze moves from him to Ana. I haven’t mentioned any of this to her yet. ‘Can I speak to you in private?’

  I don’t wait for his reply as I head to my studio. When he enters a minute later, I can see the apprehension on his face.

  ‘Is everything okay?’

  ‘Sit.’

  He rubs his hands nervously down the front of his jeans as he does.

  ‘I … I, um.’ Christ, I didn’t think this would be so hard. He’s one of my best workers, and I don’t want to lose him. But, after many hours of consideration, this was my best option. ‘I’m going to be moving you.’

  ‘What? What do you mean?’

  ‘Carter and I are opening a new parlour in Surry Hills, and I want you to go and work there.’

  ‘You don’t want me here anymore?’ He slumps in his seat.

  ‘It’s not that I don’t want you here. It’s just that I need you there.’

  ‘Oh.’

  I can tell he’s not happy about this. When he goes to stand, I hold my hand up to stop him.

  ‘Hear me out. Candice is going to be running the new place, and I need someone there I can trust … someone to keep an eye out for her.’

  His face lights up when I say that. He looked out for her when she worked here. And I know how much he missed her when she left—he was constantly asking about her. That’s why I know he’s perfect for this job. If I can’t be there to keep an eye out for her, I know he will.

  ‘Pinkie’s coming back?’

  ‘Yes. Yes, she is. This wasn’t an easy decision for me, Gus. Please know that.’

  ‘I like working for you, you’re a good boss.’

  I smile. ‘Even though you annoy the shit out of me sometimes, I like having you here.’

  ‘Then why do you want me to go to the other place?’

  ‘It’s like this, Gus.’ I need to tell him what happened, so he understands why I’m doing this. ‘Candice was attacked at her other job a few days ago.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ His body goes rigid and he sits up straight in the chair.

  ‘She’s okay, but one of her male clients roughed her up a bit.’

  ‘I’ll fucking kill him,’ he spits.

  ‘No need for that,’ I say. ‘Although I’d like to do just that myself. Can you see why I need you at the new place? I have to know she’s going to be safe.’

  ‘It’s that fucking obsession of hers. I knew that would get her in trouble one day.’

  ‘What obsession?’

  ‘You know, with cocks.’

  His comment instantly gets my back up. ‘How the fuck do you know about that?’

  ‘Calm down. One day when we were locking up, I saw the cock on her keyring.’ He shakes his head before continuing. ‘She told me about her cock collection.’

  ‘She needs therapy.’

  Gus chuckles. ‘It could be worse.’

  ‘Like how?’

  ‘Well, she could have a collection of old toenail clippings or belly-button lint.’

  I laugh. ‘I guess. Do people really collect that kinda thing?’

  He nods. I fucking hope he’s not one of them. ‘You care about her a lot, don’t you?’

  I look at the floor and sigh. ‘I love her, Gus.’

  ‘
I fucking knew it.’ When he slaps his leg and laughs, I want to kick myself for admitting that to him.

  ‘Shut up, fucker. You knew jackshit.’

  He throws back his head and laughs harder and I want to punch him.

  ‘You breathe a word of this to anyone and so help me …’

  ‘Your secret is safe with me,’ he says smugly as he draws a cross over his heart with his finger, like a five-year-old would do.

  ‘I mean it, Gus.’ What was I thinking by telling him?

  ‘You have my word. This will stay between us, boss. But I’m gonna give you shit about it, you know that, right?’

  ‘You better not.’

  He chuckles, so I know he’s gonna do it regardless of what I say. ‘So when am I leaving?’

  ‘Three weeks.’

  ‘I’m gonna miss working here, but I’ll enjoy working with Pinkie again. She’s a top chick.’

  ‘I spoke with Carter last night, and we’re going to give you a pay rise to compensate you.’

  ‘There’s no need for that.’

  ‘It’s already been decided. You’ll be the head artist there.’

  Standing, he shakes my hand. ‘I won’t let you down, boss. Keeping Pinkie safe will be my first priority.’

  ‘You’re a good man. Thank you.’

  When he turns to leave he starts to sing, ‘Jax and Candice sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G.’

  ‘I take that last statement back,’ I call out to his retreating back. ‘You’re not a good man, you’re a cock.’

  He roars with laughter as he walks down the hall towards his studio.

  ••••

  I pull on a pair of sweats and a T-shirt when I get out of the shower. Heading into the lounge room, I grab the remote off the coffee table before settling down on the sofa. Another night of dreary solitude.

  I called Maddie when I got home from work this afternoon, something I always do. It’s not the same as having her here with me, but I like to hear her voice, and to see how her day went. She always gives me a blow-by-blow description, which I love. My mind drifts to Candice. For the last two days, thoughts of her have consumed me in a way I haven’t let them for years. She hasn’t mentioned the letter yet, although she should have it by now.