As You Wish

by Jude Deveraux

  Olivia loved watching them. When she’d been married to Alan, his mother had been adamant that Kevin was her grandchild, that he was no relation to Tisha Paget. At the time, Olivia had been too busy and too young to think about how her mother had been deprived of that special bond of the only grandchild she’d ever have.

  It was Ace who pulled the men into the sewing. Reading glasses were found, lights turned on, and everyone was put to work.

  As Olivia sewed the easy, basic seams on the old treadle machine, she began to feel, well, youth coming into her body. As the minutes ticked by, she felt herself changing. At first it had been enough to move easily and fluidly. And her mind had been full of seeing old friends and knowing their futures. In eight years her mother would call her father to dinner and when he didn’t answer, she’d find him slumped over his workbench, dead. Tisha Paget would live another eighteen years. She’d dedicate herself to the community and the church—just as Olivia had done after Alan died. The difference was that her mother had enjoyed her role. But even after Alan’s death, Olivia had been too weighed down by guilt to enjoy much of anything.

  “She’s doing it again,” Ace whispered loudly to Uncle Freddy.

  They all looked at Livie as yet again there were tears running down her cheeks. She wiped them away with the back of her hand.

  Suddenly, Olivia knew that it was time to see Kit. She stood up. “I, uh...” She couldn’t think of what to say. Turning, trying to look as dignified as possible, she left the room, walked through the kitchen, and went outside.

  The sun and the air felt good on her body. She had forgotten how restless she’d been as a young woman. Over the years, she’d regretted how snappy and rude she’d been that summer she stayed at Tattwell. Why couldn’t she have been kinder to the children? To the old men? Why had she been so obsessed with Kit? At times even her career had been forgotten. Later, when she went back to New York, all she could think about was him. By then she was angry at him for having left her, but still, Kit was everything.

  She walked into the garden. How beautiful it was! When she reached the big old magnolia tree, she leaned against it and closed her eyes, letting herself remember the time the children had tied her and Kit up. Remembering the first time he’d kissed her. He had been angry, but what a kiss it had been! “Not a boy,” he’d said.

  No. Not a boy. She hadn’t known it then, but he’d been facing what would become a heroic act of risking his life to help his country. Certainly not the act of a boy.

  With her eyes still closed, she breathed deeply of the soft, fragrant summer air. She could feel her body tingling. Lips, breasts, between her legs.

  Over the years, she’d forgotten that feeling. She’d found pleasure in a good book, an afternoon movie, an hour away from running appliance stores. And recently, after she and Kit had married, there’d been sweet and tender sex. But it hadn’t been that hard, pounding, have-to-have-it-or-die sex of their youths.

  Right now she felt that coursing through her body. The desire for it. Wanting it. Craving it. Needing it. As much as she had to breathe, she needed to feel skin on hers. Lips and tongues. She wanted her hands and mouth on the male hardness of Kit. She only wanted him.

  When she opened her eyes, she wasn’t surprised to see Kit standing there. Alive, breathing, young. She’d remembered him as beautiful, but the reality was much, much more than she remembered. He had on practically nothing, exposing skin that was a luscious golden brown. He was all lean muscle.

  She looked down at his bare feet and went upward, savoring every inch of him. The bulge that was barely covered by his low-slung shorts was growing. Big and pressing against the cloth. Hungry.

  When she reached his face, she saw a heat that she barely remembered. This is why teenagers are all over each other, she thought. We adults forget this surging, pulsing, utterly uncontrollable desire.

  She could feel her body moving toward his. It was as though a rope had been tied to the middle of her and he held the end of it.

  He didn’t speak, just gave a quick movement of his head. The rope was pulled.

  Part of Olivia knew she was a rational being. She’d been an adult who’d cautioned young people against following their “base instincts.”

  “You just have to say no,” she’d told teenagers at church. How pompous she’d been!

  As she followed Kit to wherever he was leading her—and she didn’t care where it was—had someone tried to stop her, she would have used a gun on them. What she was feeling was as primitive as a fight for survival.

  When they were at the back of the property, Kit halted and put his hand out to her. Taking it, she felt his touch through her entire body. She threw back her head and laughed from pure joy. She was here and now and the man she would love forever was with her.

  Kit smiled, but he asked no questions. Instead, he began to run. He left Tattwell, stepping over the old fence, then led them through the woods that used to surround the plantation. Olivia knew that in the eighties a developer would plow most of the big trees down and build some boring little houses.

  With a jolt, she realized where he was leading them. “River House,” she said. Kit was silently asking if that was all right.

  Olivia hadn’t believed that her happiness could be increased, but it was. This was the day they’d sneaked over the stone wall to Camden Hall. Today they’d make the memory that Olivia had repeated with Elise. I mustn’t forget to leave my bra behind, she thought, and laughed again.

  At the sound, Kit tightened his grip on her hand and began to run faster. When they reached the wall, Olivia knew how to get over it. The first time, Kit had been the one to figure it out, but this time she already knew and she couldn’t wait. Back then, it had been under twenty-four hours since they’d last made mad, passionate love. But this time, it had been over forty years.

  She ran along the wall, ducking under overhanging branches until she reached the big limb that went over the side. She bent her leg for Kit to give her a boost up, then he vaulted up behind her. When they stood up, for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her, and her eyes flickered in anticipation.

  Smiling, knowing what she wanted, he caught her about the waist and stepped past her to walk along the tree. But he didn’t kiss her.

  “I’ll get you for that,” she said.

  “That is my hope.” His tone was so suggestive that Olivia’s gasp made the leaves move.

  When they were on the other side of the wall, Kit silently jumped down and held up his arms to catch her. As he swung her down, it was her turn to put her lips close to his, then turn away. He laughed in delight.

  She knew where they were going, so she took his hand. To reach the bridge, they had to walk through water that was a lot deeper than it would be when she and Elise went through it. On the island, the ruins of the little building were still there, surrounded by trees and pretty flowers, all of them left over from when the estate was loved and lived in.

  Stopping in front of the little building, she turned to Kit. As she started to say something, he grabbed her to him, his mouth coming to hers with all the passion they both felt.

  In an instant, her clothes were discarded and his shorts fell to the ground. Before she could take a breath, he was inside her. Strong and fast, as only all-consuming desire—and youth—could make it.

  Long, hard thrusts, so deep she thought they were hitting her heart. She was no longer a living, breathing person but something primitive, all feeling, with no thoughts.

  It didn’t take long before the first round ended, then Kit picked her up, her nude body against his, and laid her down on a mossy bit of ground.

  They made love again, taking their time, kissing and touching, stroking and caressing.

  Exploring their young, beautiful bodies that were so full of energy and need.

  When they fell back from each other, sated at last, the sun
was low in the sky. This time around Olivia’d had a lifetime of being responsible for other people’s food and clothing and transportation, and with Alan, supporting the families.

  “We should go,” she said softly, but she didn’t move. Her head was on Kit’s bare shoulder, her leg between his. Oh! The sweaty skin, the happy exhaustion. How had she forgotten all this?

  “What’s happened to you?” Kit asked. “You’re different. What’s done this to you?” There was worry, maybe even fear, in his voice.

  She took a long, slow breath to give herself time to think. If she was to make this permanent, that meant marriage. But how could she ask him to marry her? Should she tell him she knew about his secret mission that she wasn’t supposed to know about? Or tell him that it was possible she was carrying their baby? If it was true that she’d forget their alternate future, for the rest of her life she’d wonder if he married her because he felt he had to. “When are you going to leave Summer Hill? I was wondering because I have to go to New York soon.”

  “About that.” His arm tightened around her. “I was thinking about... You see, I have something coming up but I don’t know exactly when it will be.”

  When he said nothing else, Olivia looked at him. “That was clear. Now that we have that settled, we can go home. I need to cook—”

  He didn’t let her go. “I’m here in Virginia for a reason.”

  She was trying not to enjoy herself at his expense, but she was. Kit had told her how much he regretted not telling her about the mission he was to go on, and how difficult it had been to keep the secret from her. He’d said, “Back then, I thought my country was more important than you were. I was a fool!”

  “And what would that be?” she asked. “Did Uncle Freddy’s family send you here to put some muscle on him?”

  Kit didn’t smile. “I’m going away.”

  “Oh? Anywhere interesting?”

  “Olivia,” he said slowly, “I was wondering if you’d...”

  She drew in her breath. Was this it? The moment she’d regretted not having for the last forty-plus years?

  “Marry me before I leave.”

  She drew in her breath at his words. This was different. It hadn’t happened the first time they did this. If it had, what would she have said?

  Whatever the reason, this was what she wanted, but... There was something missing.

  For one thing, where were the words of “love forever”? She felt herself hesitate. “We’re very young, you especially. And you have college to finish and—”

  He rolled over so he was looking down at her. “I’m with the military. I can’t tell you any more than that, but they’ll come to pick me up and I’ll be away for a year. If you and I are married, they’ll tell you where I am. They’ll send my paychecks to you. They’ll—”

  She lifted her head to kiss him. “Is this the only reason you want us to marry?”

  Kit lay back down beside her. “You know how when you go to a car dealership and right away you know which vehicle you want? Maybe it wasn’t the one you thought you’d want but when you see it, you know.”

  “Are you saying I’m like a used car?”

  Again, he didn’t smile. “The day I saw you in that tight green dress and you sailed over the cabbages and ordered everyone around and cooked a second lunch just for me and—”

  “You knew that?”

  “You think the kids could keep that a secret?”

  She laughed. “Of course they wouldn’t.”

  “But it didn’t matter how you felt about me. Even if you truly believed I was a worthless boy, I still knew. You’re the one I want.”

  Olivia lay on the sweet-smelling grass, looking up through the tree leaves to the sky, smiling. Kit had told her all this on their honeymoon, but how she wished she’d known it earlier. And why was it changing now? What had made him ask her this time around? It didn’t make sense. It was as though he remembered that they had been separated and he was trying to prevent that. “When?” she asked.

  “Six weeks? Is that too soon?”

  The military would come for him in half that time. “So you do know when they’ll pick you up?” She could feel the tiny stiffening in his body. He didn’t want to tell her more.

  “No, I don’t. They said it would be in the fall.”

  “What happens if we aren’t married before they show up?”

  “Nothing,” he said. “I’ll go away and you won’t hear from me until I knock on your front door a year later.”

  It will be three years, Olivia thought, then more time for him to recover from a vehicle turning over with him in it. She wanted to be there while he healed. She turned to face him. “Okay. Six weeks.”

  Kit blinked at her a few times. “You’re saying yes? You will marry me? I never in my life believed—”

  She lay back down. “Me neither. Especially with this unromantic marriage proposal. No ring, no one knee, no—”

  She broke off because Kit had sat up and was now on one knee in the traditional proposal stance—which was awkward since they were both completely naked.

  He picked up his shorts, put his fingers into an inside pocket, and withdrew what Olivia knew was his grandmother’s ring. It was so beautiful in its old-fashioned setting.

  As she sat up, she modestly put her arm across her bare breasts, and held out her left hand. Kit slipped the ring on her finger.

  Olivia couldn’t think of anything to say. This was how it should have been. This was what should have happened. Was supposed to be. If this had happened then a lot of misery would have been avoided.

  The sound of a dog and a man telling it to be quiet reached them. “Young Pete!” she said in alarm. “I forgot about him. He has a shotgun.”

  Just as he’d done before, Kit reacted immediately. He went into army camouflage mode, slapping mud on his face and across his chest. He put a branch in his hair, then began yelling as he ran. Olivia stood back, laughing at the sight—but then, with a jolt, she remembered Arrieta saying that sometimes people died in the past. Shotguns were serious. She grabbed their clothes, ran across the bridge, and headed for the wall. Just as in the past, Kit was there to pull her up and help her over. They ran through shady forest until they were well out of sight and hearing of Pete and his shotgun. Laughing, they couldn’t help but make love on the grass.

  It was later, as they were dressing, that Kit saw that Olivia’s pretty pink bra was missing. “It’s all right.” Smiling, she thought about what Young Pete would do and the repercussions.

  She looked back through the trees. They could just see the top of Camden Hall.

  A wave of something very like homesickness went through her. Kit had bought the beautiful River House for her as a wedding gift. It was to be their first home together. With a sigh, she said, “I love that place. I think if I could live anywhere in the world, it would be there.”

  Kit was buttoning his shirt and he tried to cover his frown, but she saw it. “If that’s what you want,” he said softly.

  Olivia’s hair seemed to stand on end and anger ran through her. She did not like his tone! “I wasn’t asking you to buy it for me, if that’s what you think I was hinting at. Here! I think you should take this back.” She was tugging on the ring but it wouldn’t come off. It always did fit tightly.

  Kit pulled her into his arms. “I think our lives are going to be bigger than this town. I might be like my family and live all over the world. Think you can handle that? Cairo in January? Wait until you see Bali. And Java. And—”

  She pushed away from him, her annoyance showing. “That sounds great. But didn’t your family have a home base in the US?” Before he could answer, she stepped away. “I think we better get back. I need to cook dinner.”

  * * *

  Behind her, Kit was frowning. Something was off with Olivia but he didn’t know what it was. She
was so odd today that it was as though she were a different person. As she’d run from a man with a shotgun, she’d been laughing. She seemed to think there was no real danger, that it was all a great joke.

  And she’d said yes to his hurried marriage proposal. The Olivia he knew and loved would have made him work for it. Would have told him no a dozen times before she said yes. But this Olivia seemed to... Well, she hadn’t seemed surprised at his proposal. And the way she’d said yes sounded as though she was checking something off a list. Marriage seemed to be as equally important as telling the kids to wash their hands.

  As for the house, he knew a hint when he heard it. Before, she’d been contemptuous of his background. But today, she seemed to want him to buy her an estate. Did the fact that he could afford such a large place have anything to do with her acceptance of his proposal?

  No, not possible, he told himself. There had to be another reason for the way she was acting.

  He caught up with her before they reached the broken fence at Tattwell, and he held her arm. “If something were wrong, you’d tell me, wouldn’t you?”

  “Yes, of course. It’s just that I have a lot of things to do.” I have to get Alan and his mistress together, she thought. I must make up to Kevin for what I did to him as a child! I have to arrange for my future.

  With every second, what she must do was becoming stronger in her mind. With a weak smile, she peeled Kit’s hand off her arm.

  “Tonight—”

  She cut him off. “I think you and I should cool it for a while with the sex. I wouldn’t want to get pregnant.”

  Kit was astonished at her words. “You know I always use protection.”

  “I really do have to go. I have people to feed.” Turning, she ran ahead of him toward the house.

  Kit watched her run. “‘Cool it’?” he whispered. “Who are you? And what did you do with my Olivia?”