Don't Say You Love Me (Boundless Love Book 1)

by Deorre, Iris

  ‘Would you like me to comeback a little later?’

  ‘Yes that would be great.’

  He left them.

  ‘Hmm, he has a thing for you,’ said Eugene.

  ‘Ha, it’s just an internal thing.’

  ‘Another one, wow, you are a mysterious woman.’

  ‘I try to be. I have my reasons.’

  ‘Care to share them.’ He tried again.

  ‘No. Like I said, you’re still a stranger to me.’

  He took her hand and they began to dance. Emily had caught sight of them and she looked at Myles.

  ‘Myles, what’s he doing. Don’t let him – ’

  ‘Honey I tried. He wouldn’t listen.’

  ‘Try harder!’

  ‘Sahara’s a big girl, she can take care of herself.’

  There was a look of horror on her face.

  ‘I’m sorry honey, but I think she’s quite capable of getting rid of him. Look at her though, she looks…happy.’

  Emily gazed at her friend who was smiling from ear to ear.

  ‘That maybe so now, but we both know he’s a player.’

  ‘What would she tell you right now?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘If you said the exact words you said to me, to her, how would she respond?’

  Emily’s shoulders suddenly relaxed. ‘She’d tell me to live in the moment.’

  ‘Exactly, and that’s exactly what she’s doing. She’s not thinking about tomorrow, or wondering if he’s going to be there long term. She’s just enjoying a dance. Let her.’

  ‘Oh alright.’ She leaned into him. ‘Do you know that I love you?’

  ‘Of course I do, that’s why I’m your husband.’ He chuckled.

  She looked up at him and gave him a kiss.

  Sahara enjoyed the dance, and the next one and the next one, but on the third dance she wanted to sit down.

  ‘I’m feeling a bit tired. I need to sit down.’

  ‘Can I sit with you?’ he asked.

  ‘I would really like some me time.’

  ‘That’s going to be hard in a place full of people.’

  ‘I know, but I don’t think I can keep answering your questions.’

  ‘Okay, how about I shut up? Will you let me sit with you then?’

  She laughed, she was beginning to warm up to him.

  ‘Yes, but you mustn’t say a word.’

  ‘I promise.’

  Instead of returning to the bridal table, they sat on a random table. People had begun to get drunk and were all over the place. She watched everyone, it was one of the things she loved to do.

  ‘I love people watching,’ she said. ‘I love just watching them smile, laugh, love.’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Yeah, it makes me happy.’

  ‘You’re so…’

  ‘So what?’

  ‘Different.’

  She laughed, but chose not to answer. Deep within her she wished things were different, but there weren’t and she wasn’t going to spend those precious moments wishing they were different.

  ‘I can live with that,’ she said finally.

  ‘I’d like to take you out to dinner sometime.’

  ‘What did I say about no talking?’

  ‘I’m sorry, but I couldn’t resist. You started it anyway.’

  She laughed.

  ‘So can I?’

  Her face suddenly went serious.

  ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t.’

  ‘Why not? It’s just dinner.’

  ‘I just can’t.’

  He gazed at her a moment, she was really making this hard for him. The more she challenged him, the more he wanted to persist.

  ‘Do you want me to beg, is that it, because I’ll beg. I’ll even go on my knees if I have to.’

  ‘I’m sorry, I can’t.’ She stood up and without warning walked away, and out of the room.

  Emily noticed, she gazed up at Myles a little annoyed, and then ran after Sahara. Myles walked in Eugene’s direction.

  ‘What did you do?’

  ‘Nothing! Christ! What is it with you people?’

  ‘I told you, she’s not like your other girls.’

  ‘I never said she was. I really do like her.’

  ‘Just leave it alone. Just this one, just leave her alone.’

  ‘Why? At least tell me why.’

  ‘I can’t.’

  ‘Really, what is this secrecy about?’

  ‘It’s a family thing, and we respect that.’

  He felt a tad frustrated. Things had never been this hard just to get a woman’s phone number.

  ‘Fine, I won’t ask anymore. But I will get her number.’

  ‘Why do you have to insist on being difficult? That’s the problem with you.’

  Eugene raised his eyebrows.

  ‘Why can’t you just leave things alone? There are so many beautiful women out there.’ He pointed around them.

  ‘I don’t want them, I want her.’

  ‘But you can’t have her.’

  ‘That isn’t for you to decide.’ He pushed back the chair. ‘Now if you’ll excuse me.’ He stood up.

  Myles watched helplessly, Eugene was being the prick he always was. He wanted what he wanted and it didn’t matter what anyone said. He was going to get it anyway.

  ****

  ‘Are you okay?’ Emily walked into the ladies restroom where Sahara patted her face with a wet tissue.

  ‘What are you doing here? Go back out and be at your wedding.’

  ‘I can’t, not if you’re not out there with me.’

  ‘Honey.’ She turned and smiled at her best-friend. ‘I’m fine. You know how this works.’

  ‘I do, but don’t expect me to get used to it.’

  ‘I’m not, but just for today, just let it go.’

  ‘No…you – ’

  ‘Don’t say it.’

  ‘Fine, do you need anything?’

  ‘What I need is for you to go out there and have fun.’

  ‘Was it that guy?’ Emily wouldn’t let it go.

  ‘No, as a matter of fact I found it quite nice. Its nice being hit on.’ She giggled.

  ‘But you don’t want to lead him on.’

  ‘Yes, that’s right.’

  ‘Don’t worry about him. He’s a total player.’

  ‘Is that right? She laughed.

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘Well, I guess I have two choices, stay away or enter the game.’

  ‘Hmmm…’

  ‘Don’t worry, I’ll stick with the stay away. It’s best for all of us in the long run.’

  Emily smiled slightly. They’d been through so much together, there was never a moment when she felt it would be okay, even though Sahara always made out as if it would be. She was an amazing strong woman, stronger than any of them could ever be.

  Sahara turned back to the mirror and gazed at herself a moment. All the energy she had, had simply evaporated just like that. It was sudden, like a dark cloud over a sunny day. No warning, nothing, just a sudden zap of energy. She leaned forward and held onto the sink for support.

  ‘Honey, are you okay?’ asked Emily.

  ‘Could you ask my mother to come and get me? I think I need to go home.’

  ‘Urm…okay. Just hang on a second.’ She left her a moment.

  The day had certainly taken its toil on her. She’d done her best, but the emotions and just trying to be present every moment had become exhausting. Sahara expected it, it came with the territory, but she hated feeling it. By the time her mother entered the rest-room, Sahara was on the floor feeling a little dizzy.

  ‘Sweetheart.’ Elizabeth knelt down. ‘What do you need me to do?’

  ‘Please take me home. I just need to lie down.’

  ‘Of course, honey.’

  Elizabeth helped Sahara up with Emily’s help.

  ‘I’m so sorry I took you away from your special day,’ she said to Emily.

  ‘Oh no
nsense, it’s been a great day, and the best part was having you here.’

  They walked out into the foyer, people had begun to wander around. Just as they were about to exit, a man called after them. Sahara turned to see Eugene, he certainly was determined.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ he asked.

  ‘I’m just tired. I’m sorry I left you hanging, but I must go home now.’ The world around her was spinning and the longer she stood up, she was certain she would collapse if she didn’t sit down again.

  ‘Could I at least get your number?’

  This time she didn’t respond, instead Emily and Elizabeth continued to support her towards the exit. Things didn’t look good, and instead of backing away, Eugene stepped forward and picked Sahara up into his arms.

  ‘Tell me where to take her,’ he said.

  All three women were astonished, but Sahara was too exhausted to argue.

  ‘My car,’ Elizabeth said finally. ‘It’s in the parking lot, follow me.’

  Sahara clung to the man who had rescued her from almost collapsing to the floor. It felt good, and she didn’t want it to come to an end, but there was also the feeling of shutting down, she just couldn’t let him in.

  They stopped at Elizabeth’s Nissan and he gently put her onto the back seat. Sahara lay down and just let go.

  ‘Thank you young man,’ said Elizabeth.

  ‘Yes, thank you, Eugene.’ Emily smiled. ‘I’ll call later,’ she said to Elizabeth.

  ‘No, you go on your honeymoon, don’t worry about me,’ Sahara mumbled.

  ‘I’ll call from the airport, I don’t care what you say, I’m still calling you.’

  ‘I’ll probably be sleeping.’

  ‘I don’t care!’

  ‘Okay you two, do I have to break you apart like old times?’ Elizabeth joked.

  ‘No, we’ll be okay,’ said Emily.

  She pulled on Eugene’s arm and led him away, even though he didn’t want to be led away.

  ‘What’s wrong with her?’ he asked.

  ‘That is family business.’

  ‘What’s so wrong, you can’t tell me.’

  ‘It’s just the way she wants it, so we honour that.’

  He wasn’t happy with the answer, and if no one was going to give it to him, he would just have to find out for himself.

  ‘Don’t go getting ideas, leave it alone.’

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

  ‘Please, from what I heard, you’re not one to let things go.’

  As he was about to open his mouth, Myles met them at the entrance.

  ‘Is she okay?’ he asked.

  ‘She’ll be fine, just tired.’

  He nodded, looked at Eugene and then took his bride with him. Myles had no intention of getting into an argument or conversation with Eugene. Eugene on the other hand had plans of his own, and the sooner he carried them out, the better it would be. But as he turned to head for his car, and sneak out of the reception unnoticed, Lisa called for him.

  ‘There you are! I wondered where you’d got to.’

  ‘Ah…Lisa.’

  ‘Off so soon?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes, I’ve got things to do. I don’t think the groom wants me around at the moment.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Long story.’

  ‘Care to share it over a drink somewhere other than this boring wedding.’

  ‘Urm…no, I really need to get going.’

  ‘How about I keep you company tonight?’ she wasn’t about to let up.

  Eugene gave the dark haired beauty a once over. He had to admit, she was stunning, and if he hadn’t seen Sahara, then perhaps he would’ve invited her over. But Sahara had taken over his whole being. Never in his life had a woman made him feel so out of control. He wanted to know everything he could about her.

  ‘As nice as the offer sounds, I’m going to have to pass.’

  ‘Really, I mean I thought the whole point of you coming over to sit with me this morning, was to end the day with hot passionate sex.’

  ‘Things have changed.’

  ‘I see, it’s that Sahara woman. Isn’t it? I noticed the way you looked at her. You are certainly charmed.’

  ‘It was nice meeting you Lisa.’

  ‘Yes, I wish I could say the same.’ She turned on her heels and walked away.

  He stood a moment, not sure how to react, but soon shook away the thoughts and made his way to the car. The drive home was of thoughts of Sahara. He had to find her, he had to get to her and take her out. He wasn’t letting this one go.

  ****

  Elizabeth helped Sahara into the house and up to her room. She lived in a two bedroom apartment, not too far from her mother. It had been the best thing she’d done for herself. Being independent and yet having her mother close by, worked for both of them.

  She lay into the bed and was grateful for the sudden feeling of peace she felt.

  ‘That feels so much better,’ she said.

  Elizabeth sat at her side, and smiled. She waited for Sahara to give her the go ahead to let her know what she needed. It had been their way. Sahara didn’t want to feel like an invalid, and her mother knew this very well.

  ‘Can I ask?’ ask Elizabeth.

  ‘Yes, its fine, I won’t bite your head off.’ She smiled gently.

  ‘Number?’

  ‘Five. After a rest I’m sure I’ll be a seven.’

  ‘Okay honey, do you want anything before your nap?’

  ‘Just some water, please.’

  Elizabeth nodded, walked out of the room and got a glass of water.

  ‘If you need me, I’ll be downstairs.’

  ‘I’ll be fine mum, I promise.’

  Elizabeth nodded. She’d been doing this for a long time now. It was the hand they’d been dealt, but Sahara wouldn’t let anyone mope about it. She was always up beat and positive, and since they weren’t the ones who were ill, they had no right to complain or be upset.

  Elizabeth left her and found something to do in the kitchen. There was always some washing up, or laundry to do. Elizabeth kept herself busy by taking care of the things that could be taken care of. She took time to look at the schedule on the fridge. In a few days time, she would be taking Sahara to the hospital. How she hated those days, but it was those days that kept her alive and fighting.

  Sahara got comfortable, but she couldn’t drop off to sleep. Her thoughts were on the man who had carried her to the car. Most of her late teenage life, when she should’ve been out dating and enjoying being a teen, she was in and out of hospital. It had been her life and she’d given no thought to having a man in her life. She’d visualised it, watched it on films and with friends, but experience frightened her. She never wanted to put someone in that position, nor was she up for them to see her at her worst.

  She tossed and turned, each time Eugene was on her mind. She recalled the short conversation they’d had and smiled. It had been nice, the male company had been nice for a change, but she wasn’t going to allow herself to feel anything. Her life was a moment by moment situation. She allowed herself to wonder about him, about what he might be up to, what he did as a career. The way he dressed told her that he had an important job, and that just made him that much more attractive. She remembered his eyes, the ice blue eyes that she’d never seen before, eyes that had really drawn her in. Then there was the beautiful contours to his face, he was too good looking that it made her giggle. It made her feel a little better.

  ‘Oh Eugene, what have you done to me.’ She whispered to herself. ‘What have you done to me?’ Exhaustion won in the end, and Sahara fell asleep with a slight smile on her face.

  ****

  He let himself into one of his many houses he owned all over the world. It was just his style, and taste, and he’d brought many women into it. But that evening, there was only one woman on his mind, Sahara. The house was done up in black, gold and white, all which was to his taste. The entrance had been done up in
marble and a there was a great big chandelier right above it. The stair case was an amazing spiral that took anyone who went up them to seven rooms with en-suites and walk in closets. He had more space than he needed, but he loved it all the same.

  When he was in the country, in the North, he had a handful of people that helped him. There was his chef, Lawrence, who did all his cooking, according to his diet and training regime. There was Seth, his personal trainer, who at times travelled with him around the world. Seth kept Eugene in shape and was on call whenever he needed him. Then there were the people who kept the house in its immaculate condition, the gardeners and the cleaners who dealt more with his personal assistant than with him.

  Eugene had a life many people would die for, and yet he always found himself hopelessly single. As he walked towards the kitchen, to retrieve a well needed beer, his mobile rang. He gazed at the number and swore under his breath.

  ‘Ah Pam!’ He put on a cheery voice.

  ‘What happened? I thought you were coming over tonight?’

  He pursed his lips together, curled his left hand into a fist and tried to think fast.

  ‘Baby, I’m sorry, something came up.’

  ‘Something always comes up with you. Are you seeing someone else?’

  He scrunched his eyes shut. Why was he always caught up in these situations?

  ‘We agreed that we weren’t exclusive, or have you forgotten?’

  ‘You decided that, I never said I agreed.’

  ‘Pam, why do you do this? You know I’m not ready for a commitment.’

  ‘Well, screw you! Don’t you ever call me again when you want to get all down and dirty.’ She was almost in tears.

  ‘Honey, don’t be like that. It’s just how I feel.’

  The phone went dead! He gazed at his mobile, shrugged and felt rather relieved. Sometimes women were crazy! He continued to get his well needed beer, opened it and then his mobile buzzed.

  ‘What now!’ He scanned the message.

  Hi, are we still on for tomorrow evening? Pen xx.

  He took a swig at the beer and tried to remember who the hell Pen was.

  ‘Pen, Pen…oh god yes, Penelope!’

  How had it slipped his mind? He checked his calendar on his iPhone.

  Date with hot blonde, great legs and fantastic smile.

  ‘Oh, yes, now I remember. Shit!’

  Eugene had suddenly lost interest in all these women. Sahara had cast a very strange spell on him, and the fact she wasn’t so willing to fall into his arms like most women, got him even more curious about her.