Don't Say You Love Me (Boundless Love Book 1)

by Deorre, Iris

  Sorry babe, I’ve got to fly out to France tomorrow. Business. He texted back.

  Two minutes later.

  When are you back? We can get together then.

  He sighed as he read the message.

  Not sure yet, will text you when I’m back.

  A minute later.

  Okay. Look forward to it! xxx.

  He shoved the mobile into his pocket and took another gulp of the beer. He looked around the empty kitchen and sighed. He knew exactly who he wanted to be in it, he just had to figure a way to get to her. Myles and Emily had been so secretive about her.

  ‘What’s the big deal anyway?’ he asked himself as he made his way upstairs and into his study.

  He took a seat in the big brown leather chair, switched on the laptop and started to do some digging. He was not letting this go, he couldn’t. He always wanted what he wanted.

  He started with facebook. Not that he was much of a facebook fan, but he had his own private circle of friends, of which one of them was Myles. From Myles, page he found Emily and from Emily’s page he found…Nothing.

  ‘She’s not on facebook? Who isn’t on facebook these days?’ He sat back and took in more of the beer.

  After a moments thought he rang a number.

  ‘It’s Saturday, and I told you not to call me,’ Casey screamed down the phone.

  ‘You love me anyway.’ He laughed. ‘I need you to do me a favour.’

  ‘Didn’t you hear a word I said?’

  ‘Of course I did, and you’ll be greatly compensated for your troubles.’ He still laughed.

  ‘What do you need?’ She buckled.

  ‘I need you to find out about someone.’

  ‘Let me guess, a woman?’

  ‘Not just any woman.’

  ‘How many times do I have to tell you? I’m your P.A. not your dating chaperone or whatever you call them.’

  Again he laughed. ‘Oh go on, I know you’re curious.’

  Casey had been working for Eugene for five years now. They had a great relationship and they worked well together.

  ‘You know that the one woman I want, I can’t have because she’s married.’

  ‘Oh please.’ She giggled.

  In the beginning, he’d tried it on with Casey, but she was quick to put him in his place, and she was very much in love with her fiancé at the time. Eugene admired that about her, and it made their working relationship great.

  ‘So will you do this for me?’

  ‘You know I will. What do you need?’

  ‘Could you get hold of that investigator again? The one who found out about – ’

  ‘That crazy woman you almost dated?’

  ‘Yes, him.’

  ‘What’s her name and surname?’

  ‘Sahara.’

  ‘Hmmm… nice name. Surname?’

  ‘I don’t have it but…’

  ‘But what?’

  ‘I do have details that will probably find her.’

  He gave out all the information he knew about Myles and Emily. He was certain, where there was Emily, Sahara would be found.

  ‘Do me a favour,’ he said. ‘Make sure they don’t find out.’

  ‘I’ll do my best. Can I get back to my life?’

  ‘Of course you can.’ He giggled. ‘Hey, Casey.’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘You’re welcome.’

  He hung up, this wasn’t just another woman to him, deep down he felt it. Sahara felt like the woman he’d been searching for all his life. It was the strangest and yet the best feeling in the world!

  Chapter Three

  ‘Are you ready honey?’ Elizabeth knocked on the bathroom door. It had been three days since the wedding. Sahara had recovered somewhat, but she knew it would be short lived.

  ‘I’ll be out in a few minutes,’ she said.

  ‘Okay honey, I’ll be downstairs.’

  Sahara gazed at herself in the mirror. Her once long hair was short. She missed it, but every time she’d attempted to grown it, she lost it again. She touched the side of her chest and felt the tunneled catheter that had been used not just for chemotherapy, but also for other forms of medication. She remembered the ordeal like it was yesterday. Sahara had started with bouts of serious stomach cramps and pains at the early age of seventeen. The visits to the doctor had been many, and many times over she’d been dismissed.

  ‘She’s probably stressing about her exams, or moving out into university.’ Was one doctor’s response.

  ‘It’s probably irritable bowel syndrome,’ said another.

  ‘Cut out wheat for a while and see what happens,’ another one suggested.

  ‘We’ll send you for blood tests, if there’s anything wrong, it will show.’ The fifth doctor had said, after Elizabeth had pleaded with them.

  Things had begun to get worse, but it didn’t matter how many times they mentioned this to the different doctors, they always came up with the same answer.

  ‘She’s too young to be worrying about anything serious. It will pass.’

  It wasn’t until Sahara went for her blood tests with the practice nurse did she begin to fight. It was the words of the nurse that kept her strong.

  ‘Keep knocking on a doctor’s door until someone listens. Only you know your body, only you know what you feel.’ The nurse had said.

  The nurse was right, Sahara just didn’t feel right. Every time she ate she felt sick. There had been times when she hadn’t been to the toilet for days, and suffered severe bloating. Again she visited the doctor, and again she was dismissed with an appointment with a dietician. It wasn’t until she read symptoms of bowel cancer in the office where she waited to be seen, did she think it was possible.

  Sahara relayed her worries to her mother, who took it as seriously as she did, and again, they were at the doctor’s office.

  ‘It’s hardly likely, with your age and everything else, we wouldn’t think so.’

  And so again, they were dismissed without the answers they needed and Sahara feeling no where near better. But that didn’t stop them, not when Sahara suffered a terrible bout of diarrhoea that had some blood in it. Elizabeth and her daughter marched back to the doctors, but this time demanded to see someone who was much more senior, someone who would listen.

  Finally after fifteen visits to the doctor’s office, Sahara was seen by a doctor who listened. He looked back at all the visits notes, all the symptoms and what they had to say. It concerned him, and even though it was rare for someone her age to have bowel cancer, it wasn’t impossible.

  ‘I’ll have you fast tracked for a full body scan,’ he’d said.

  Sahara would never forget those words, they were the words that had saved her life, but that had also changed her life for good. They had found cancer in the bowel, the growth was from twelve o’clock to two o’clock in size. Her life went from one of enjoyment as a young teen to being wheeled into theatre, followed by intense treatment of chemotherapy. It had been the treatment that had worked for her.

  She’d told her nearest and dearest, and had asked every one of them to treat her as normal. It had been hard for Emily at the start, but she soon understood why it was so important to Sahara. Sahara survived on being positive, and after a long tiresome journey, she heard words that brought tears to her eyes.

  ‘You’re in remission.’

  Sahara had just turned twenty-four. But that had been six years ago, and unfortunately the cancer had come back, this time in her breast. It had been the strangest thing, she’d always thought if it came back, it would be in her bowel again.

  ‘This isn’t a secondary cancer.’ The doctor had said. ‘We got rid of all the cancer from your bowel. This I’m afraid, is primary.’

  Sahara had dropped her head in her hands and cried. She didn’t want to go through it again, the pain, the surgery, the chemo.

  ‘What are the fucking chances?’ she’d asked angrily.

  ‘I’m sorry.’
/>
  ‘Is this hereditary, am I doomed to always having cancer?’

  ‘I’m…’ He didn’t want to tell her that it was possible she’d inherited an abnormal gene that led to cancer. ‘Your mother seems fine, is there anyone in your family who’s been through this?’ He asked.

  Sahara sniffed. She was an only child to a single parent, and she had no idea who her father was. Elizabeth never wanted to talk about him, and she’d respected that.

  ‘No, I don’t know, maybe.’ She sniffed. ‘What happens now?’

  The doctor explained what she already knew and she was soon in the care of an oncologist. From that day forth, Sahara decided to embrace the cancer, allow it to be a part of who she was, but not let it be her, or destroy her…

  ‘Honey, we need to get going.’ Elizabeth’s voice pulled her back into the present moment.

  ‘Yes, okay, I’m coming.’ She pushed back her shoulders and stood tall. She was a fighter, she always had been.

  The only thing she regretted was not allowing her heart to love. The first time anyone had asked her out, was during her remission years. The guy had been sweet, but she’d been held back by the fact that she’d spent most of her life ill. She wanted to live, to try new things, which had led to her opening her own florist shop. It had been a dream come true, the day she’d opened it. Flowers had, had a deep meaning for her while she’d fought bowel cancer. They’d brought happiness, and colour into her life. They’d brought light smells that didn’t necessarily make her ill.

  But for the moment, Sahara could only work when she was feeling strong enough to do so. With the help of Elizabeth who had retired from nursing, she would help run the shop when Sahara was too tired to cope.

  She took one last look at herself, and then smiled. The fact that she was staring at another day was enough to make her smile. She’d beat cancer once, she’d do it again if she had to.

  ‘Yes, I can beat you again.’ She told herself in the mirror. ‘I can!’

  With that she turned and left the bathroom and joined her mother downstairs.

  ‘You alright?’

  ‘Mother!’

  ‘I’m sorry, what number are you today?

  ‘Seven.’ She smiled.

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yes really.’

  ‘Well then, let’s hope – ’

  ‘Don’t…don’t take away the moment. I haven’t even had chemo yet.’

  ‘I’m just saying.’

  ‘I know mum, but I like to live in the present as much as possible.’

  Elizabeth nodded.

  ‘Let’s go.’

  They left the house for the hospital.

  ****

  Casey walked into Eugene’s home office just after nine o’clock. She smiled at her boss and waited for him to start making his usual demands.

  ‘I take it you’re not flying to France,’ she said.

  ‘Nope, I’ve got things to do here. How is it going with the search?’

  ‘Nothing back yet, but he’ll be in touch.’

  ‘Not good enough, I’m paying him good money.’

  ‘I’ll make sure he’s aware of it.’ She pulled out a seat from the desk and sat down.

  ‘This woman is special.’

  ‘Like all the other women were?’

  ‘Well.’ He sat up. ‘There have been some special woman in my life, but this one, she’s the one.’

  Casey couldn’t help but laugh.

  ‘Laugh all you want, I just know it.’

  ‘Does she know it?’ She challenged him.

  ‘Not yet.’

  ‘I’m guessing the reason you have the investigator on the case is because you didn’t succeed in getting her number yourself.’

  He smiled.

  ‘She must be really special.’

  Casey knew how hard it was for women to resist Eugene Gallagher. He was an eligible bachelor with money to burn, a body to die for and charm.

  ‘Oh yes she is. I’m going to do whatever it takes to make her see just how special I am.’

  ‘Good luck with that.’

  ‘So you don’t believe that?’

  ‘It’s not that. It’s just that I’ve known you long enough to know that you’ve broken a lot of hearts. I think this one sees through all that.’

  ‘Maybe, but I feel differently about her. I’ve never felt this driven, this crazy about anyone.’

  ‘Hmm, I wonder why?’

  He sat back and let Sahara saturate his thoughts for a moment, but he was quickly back to reality.

  ‘Okay, today’s agenda.’

  ‘Yes, urm.’ She pulled out her tablet to check his calendar. ‘Meeting in Paris.’

  ‘Yes, well, you did send my apologies.’

  ‘I did, they weren’t impressed.’

  ‘They wouldn’t be, I’m one of the largest investors. But then again, I’d already made up my mind about that company weeks ago. Sahara just made it easier.’

  ‘Wow, she really has you twisted.’

  ‘You could say that.’ He smiled.

  ‘So I guess I’m free for the next few days? Weeks?’

  ‘I wouldn’t say you’re free, there are so many calls you need to return, your inbox is overflowing with mail and you have a few charity events to attend.’

  ‘Blah, blah, blah. For once I’m not going to do any of that.’

  ‘You can’t.’

  ‘I can. I’m the boss, and besides, I have some very capable managers in place, keeping my businesses afloat. Tell me, what’s the point of having all this if you can’t take some time off if you want to.’

  ‘I’m sure you can, it’s just that you’ve never wanted to.’

  ‘That’s because I love what I do. I love investing in companies, building them up again then selling them at a profit. It makes me sing in the morning, but right now, I’ve found a new song.’

  ‘So where does that leave me?’

  ‘Oh you are still here to do the things I need.’

  ‘Not business?’

  ‘You are correct. So get onto that investigator and tell him to hurry things along, or else he’s fired.’

  ‘Okay then.’ She smiled.

  ‘Could you give Seth a ring and ask him to be here for eleven instead of one as I’d asked. I need to get some serious training in.’

  She nodded.

  ‘In the meantime, I might answer some of those emails.’

  ‘I knew you couldn’t stay away.’ She laughed.

  ‘Perhaps, but once I find out who she is…things will change.’

  Casey stood up, that was yet to be seen. Eugene had met so many women in his life time, she just wasn’t convinced.

  ****

  ‘Hey, Justin, it’s nice to see you here.’ Sahara high fived her friend she’d met a few months ago.

  ‘Yep! Back to it, I’m just so glad you’re here.’ He smiled, his gorgeous green eyes touched her heart.

  Justin was battling a brain tumour and his spirits were just as high and positive as Sahara.

  ‘So, what are your plans for today?’ he asked.

  ‘Well.’ She sat down and the nurse attended to her.

  ‘Shopping, I’ll be looking for some new clothes, maybe a new hair cut.’ She giggled.

  ‘Yeah, that sounds great. A new hair cut would certainly suit you.’ He laughed.

  ‘I’ll slip out into town, honey,’ her mother said.

  ‘Yes, of course, take your time, I’m not going anywhere.’ She laughed.

  Elizabeth nodded and left them. She put on a brave face, even though it hurt so much within her. There was always that fear, the fear of loosing her only child, and it didn’t matter how many times Sahara had asked her not to think about things that had not happened yet, she couldn’t help it.

  ‘What about you, what are your plans for today?’ she asked knowing very well he’d be going back to his room somewhere in the hospital.

  ‘Later today, I’m going to play on my Xbox kinect, and then I’m g
oing to hop into dad’s car, take a drive to McDonalds and order a McFlurry.’

  ‘That sounds fab!’ She tried to enter his dream world the way he entered hers.

  It was their language, their way and it worked for them.

  ‘Tell me, what’s the weather like today, I want to know what will be appropriate clothing for my outing.’ He smiled.

  She reached out her hand and he took it as he sat in his wheel chair, receiving his dose of chemo. His hands were cold and frail, her heart missed a beat when the realisation hit her.

  ‘It’s warm with a cool breeze.’ She squeezed his hand gently. ‘I guess the best thing is to put on a t-shirt.’

  He shut his eyes and tried to imagine it.

  ‘You’ll have the window down, and the air will blow into the car.’

  ‘I know exactly what t-shirt I’ll wear.’

  ‘Yeah, tell me.’ She shut her eyes and began to imagine it with him.

  ‘It’s one of my Jack Will t-shirts. Navy blue.’

  ‘I bet you’ll look good in it.’

  ‘I do. You should come with me. We can go shopping and then to McDonalds.’

  ‘Yeah, I’d like that.’

  They sat and continued to imagine what their lives would be outside that hospital. A life they knew that would only remain in their imagination, but felt as real as they allowed it to be.

  A while later they talked about other things, but soon Sahara started to feel tired and a little ill. Even though they’d put anti emetics in the drip, it did little to prevent the sickness that would come on later that day. It wasn’t something she could get used to and it was the one thing she hated.

  ‘What number?’ asked Justin.

  ‘A five, slowly slipping to a four.’

  ‘Hang in there, you’ll be just fine. It’s for the better.’

  She smiled. ‘You?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m always an eight.’ He laughed. ‘An eight.’

  She laughed lightly. Justin was the one person who had taught her to appreciate her life. Unlike her, he wasn’t yet able to leave the hospital, he’d had numerous operations that had cut down the tumour, but not enough to get rid of it completely. It had been a stubborn cancer, and yet he was always up beat. She’d once asked him how he’d managed to stay up beat all the time, he’d turned to her and smiled and said,