Don't Say You Love Me (Boundless Love Book 1)

by Deorre, Iris

  ‘Let’s focus on something else.’

  ‘That’s fine with me.’

  ‘Something fun and less serious.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Like where were you born?’

  ‘I’m a Yorkshire man. What about you?’

  ‘Sheffield. How old are you?’

  ‘Thirty six, you?’

  ‘You sure you don’t know that one already?’

  He shook his head.

  ‘Thirty. When’s your birthday?’

  ‘September the twentieth. You?’

  ‘The tenth of January.’

  ‘Favourite food?’ she asked playfully.

  ‘Lobster.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yes really.’

  ‘Too posh for me.’

  He laughed. ‘What’s yours?’

  ‘Pasta, I love my pasta.’

  ‘We should go for some on our next date, presuming there will be a next date.’

  ‘I’m sure there will be. I’ve had a good time.’

  ‘Yeah me too, I’m so glad I got to know you.’

  It was the first time he’d actually enjoyed a woman’s company in a different way. He felt he could be himself, he didn’t have to flash his cash to impress her, nor did she seem to care about any of that. It was refreshing and he wanted nothing more than to stay with her. Being in her presence was relaxing.

  ‘Do you want to take a short walk around the village?’ He didn’t want their time together to end.

  ‘Yes, I’d like that. It’s a really beautiful place. There’s a footpath not too far away from here.’

  ‘It seems like you know the place well.’

  ‘I do, I’ve walked around this place a few times. It helps me relax.’

  They started for the exit of the pub. Sahara felt relaxed and enjoyed his company despite the fear that still lingered in the pit of her stomach. Instead of fighting it, she let it just linger. There wasn’t much else she could do.

  He took a moment to give his driver a ring, to let him know they’d be leaving in about forty minutes. They headed out of the pub and began the walk.

  It was a quiet Sunday afternoon, so quiet that the sounds of the birds tweeting penetrated the air. They walked in comfortable silence for a while. Sahara felt as though she’d known him all her life, it was an odd feeling. They reached the foot path and began a journey through lovely green scenery. It was relaxing, the greenery took her breath away like it always did. Sahara felt the oneness with everything around her, but she was certain that Eugene didn’t feel the same.

  ‘This is the first time in a long time that I’ve felt this relaxed.’ He chuckled.

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yes. In my line of work it’s always busy. I guess I’m always chasing the next big deal. I never get time to relax, to slow down, so thank you.’

  ‘For what?’ she giggled.

  ‘For slowing me down. If it wasn’t for your beautiful face, I wouldn’t be here today.’

  ‘My beautiful face?’

  ‘Yes, you captured me the first time I saw you. I know it sounds so vain.’ He laughed. ‘But you have to admit, we’re visual creatures.’

  ‘I can’t argue with you there.’

  ‘But it wasn’t just your pretty face that captivated me.’

  ‘It wasn’t.’ She felt a little shy as they continued their walk.

  ‘No, there was something else there. It was like you were drawing me to you, like a magnet, a pull I couldn’t ignore.’

  She laughed. ‘It sounds so cheesy.’

  ‘That’s it! You have this ability to see past the bullshit. There is a pretty face, then there’s a pretty face.’ His voice lowered as he said, pretty face the second time. ‘You’re the pretty face,’ he said in the same low voice.

  ‘Thank you, I guess.’ She didn’t know what else to say.

  ‘I’ll take that.’

  They drifted on without a care in the world. Time wasn’t of the essence, it was just a lovely Sunday afternoon.

  ‘What about you?’

  ‘What about me?’

  ‘Why did you agree to see me, after I lied to you?’

  ‘Well.’ She turned to him briefly. ‘I thought I’d give you a second chance. I mean after all we’re only human, and besides. If a man goes through all that effort to get a date with me. I guess the least I can do is go out with him.’

  He laughed, she loved the sound of his deep laugh.

  ‘There’s also your eyes.’

  ‘What about them?’

  ‘The most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.’

  ‘Thank you.’ he smiled.

  ‘I guess I’m a little vain too. I mean who could resist a lovely looking man,’ she said playfully.

  ‘I quite agree.’

  ‘You do, do you?’

  ‘I do.’

  ‘Well then I take that back.’

  ‘Well, you can’t have it back.’ He laughed.

  It was the most natural thing in the world, the way they talked, the way they laughed. Cancer was no where in the picture, it was just them and the scenery.

  ‘Fine, but I’ll get it back somehow.’

  ‘You’re welcome to try.’

  They finally got to the end of the footpath after a good twenty minutes, turned back and headed for the pub again. By the time they arrived, the driver was waiting. Sahara didn’t want the date to end, it had been a wonderful afternoon! Eugene opened the car door instead, and told his driver that from now on, he’ll be doing it more often. Sahara looked at him impressed.

  ‘You’ve brought me back down to earth.’ He smiled.

  ‘Where were you before?’ She couldn’t help herself.

  ‘I’ve no idea, but I’m just glad I’m back.’

  The ride was done with minimal conversation. During the silent pauses, Sahara looked out into the open green fields. It always brought her calm. Finally the driver parked outside of her home

  ‘This was lovely, thank you.’

  ‘May I walk you to the door?’

  ‘Well, what a gentleman. Yes you may.’ She was tickled.

  ‘You do love to tease.’

  ‘I do.’

  ‘Wait, let me get out and open the door for you.’

  ‘I can open it myself.’ She insisted.

  ‘I want to open it for you.’

  She opened her mouth about to speak.

  ‘Let someone do something for you, for a change.’

  ‘Believe me, I do, I just don’t want to feel like I can’t even open the door.’

  ‘You know that’s not true, you know that you can quite easily open the door.’

  She nodded and waited for him to hop out. He walked round to her side and opened the door to the Jag. He held out his hand, and she took it. It was soft and warm, and it made her feel fuzzy all over.

  ‘All safe and sound,’ he said finally when they stopped at the door.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said again.

  ‘No, thank you. I had a lovely time.’

  She nodded. He waited a little hesitant. That had never happened to him before. When it came to women and the end of the date, he was so confident that he never wasted anytime. But Sahara was different and he felt he had to tread carefully.

  ‘Can I give you a kiss?’ he asked finally.

  ‘Is that what you ask all your dates?’ She laughed.

  ‘No, actually I usually just kiss them.’

  ‘Then why ask.’

  ‘Because you scare me.’ He laughed.

  ‘Good!’ Her lips curled into a smile even though she tried hard not to smile.

  ‘So, can I?’

  ‘What do you think?’

  ‘You don’t make it easy, do you?’

  ‘Why should I?’ She was loving every minute, and just keeping him close to her.

  ‘Okay then.’

  The kiss caught her by surprise and she melted instantly. His soft lips touched hers and she was captured into his arm
s. Sahara felt weak at the knees, but it was short lived as he pulled away. He smiled, his eyes smiled and she swallowed back hard and shied away a moment.

  ‘Bye.’ He stepped back and began to head for his car.

  ‘Is that it?’ she shouted after him.

  He turned to her and smiled.

  ‘Really?’ She felt a tad confused, and maybe upset that he hadn’t made any future plans.

  ‘You overwhelm me, Miss Young.’ He continued to head for the jag.

  ‘Really?’ she said more to herself and watched him as he hopped into the car.

  The moment it started, was the moment her heart felt heavy. In fact she felt a little angry. She stood at the door until there was no more sign of the car. After a while, Sahara shrugged off the disappointment. She didn’t understand it, but she had to get into the house. The moment her foot hit the passage, she picked up the phone and rang Emily.

  ‘Hey, you okay?’

  ‘Get yourself a tea and somewhere comfy to sit, this is going to be a long call.’

  ‘Oh no. What happened?’

  ‘Eugene happened.’ She started.

  ‘Okay, you start talking while I put the kettle on.’ Emily wandered from the living-room to the kitchen.

  She lifted the kettle to the window after she’d filled it, to show Myles, who was working in the garden, that she was making a cup of tea. He nodded and she did the best she could to nod back, but it was a little impossible with the phone cradled between her ear and shoulder.

  ‘I thought you weren’t going to go on that date,’ she said.

  ‘I didn’t say that.’

  ‘What did you say?’

  ‘Does it matter, the point is, he gave me nothing when he left. No clue as to whether or not he’ll call me.’

  ‘Honey, from what Myles has told me, Eugene is a playboy. He did warn him to stay away from you, but it seems to have fallen on deaf ears. I’m not surprised, he’s a stubborn man.’

  ‘Well, stubborn and difficult to read.’

  ‘Does it bother you?’

  ‘Of course it does.’

  ‘Why?’ She switched on the kettle.

  Sahara walked into her kitchen and walked towards the back door. While she thought about the answer, she unlocked the door and stepped outside.

  ‘Because…’ The warm sun touched her skin. ‘Because I like him.’

  ‘Wow, I’ve never heard you say that before.’

  ‘I know, I’ve shocked myself. This is exactly what I don’t need.’

  ‘Quite on the contrary.’

  ‘Really, after all the warnings about him.’

  ‘I think it’s great, you’ve got your mind on him, he’s frustrated you, annoyed you. Welcome to the real world.’

  Sahara smiled. It had been so long since she’d felt normal.

  ‘You’re right, normal people get frustrated.’

  ‘It’s the world of dating. You just don’t know with men. Myles was weird like that in the beginning. I used to wonder whether he liked me or not. I found out later that the way he felt about me, scared him.’

  ‘Do you think that’s what’s going on? I mean he said he’s never felt like this before, but then again, it might be a line he’s delivered before.’

  Emily continued to help analyse Eugene’s behaviour. It was nice that Sahara wasn’t thinking about the illness or anything that concerned it. Instead she was being a girl, trying to work out a boy’s behaviour.

  Myles walked in mid conversation and didn’t like the sound of it. She handed him his tea and mouthed, ‘It’s okay.’

  ‘You sure?’

  She nodded. He took a sip, and then departed towards the living-room.

  ‘Myles doesn’t look too impressed,’ she told Sahara.

  ‘Oh well, that’s life isn’t it.’ She sighed.

  They spoke a while longer, dissected Eugene’s behaviour further, but still didn’t come up with a reason.

  ‘Men,’ said Sahara finally.

  ‘I quite agree, they will be the mystery we shall never solve. I better go and tend to mine.’ She laughed.

  ‘Thanks for listening.’

  ‘Any time.’

  They hung up soon after that. Emily paused a moment in the kitchen before joining Myles in the living-room. When she walked into the lounge, Myles was lying on the couch watching a renovation programme.

  ‘Any more ideas for our bathroom?’ She chuckled, it had become a never ending project.

  ‘Nope. What was that about Eugene?’

  She went to sit beside him.

  ‘Oh, he’s just being Eugene.’

  ‘I told him to stay away from her!’ He was furious.

  ‘Don’t worry about it, she’s a big girl, she can handle it.’

  ‘It’s the last thing she needs.’

  ‘I think it will do her good.’

  ‘You can’t be serious.’

  ‘Actually, I am. It was the first time her mind was somewhere else. Not only hers, but mine too. We’re always treading on eggshells, trying not to mention cancer, but feeling the weight of it all the time, just lingering between conversations. But today, today all she wanted to know was why Eugene acted the way he had.’

  ‘You really think so? I never thought about it that way.’

  ‘Yes I do. I think it’s good for her.’

  ‘Okay, I’ll take your word for it, but if at any time you need me to go and punch him in the face, I’m your man.’

  ‘You’ll be the first to know.’ She leaned forward and gave him a kiss.

  Chapter Seven

  Sahara walked into the florist feeling no different than the day before. It had boggled her mind. At times it made her laugh just how much Eugene had made her feel. She’d checked her mobile numerous times the day before, she’d done the same thing that morning.

  ‘Morning Alice,’ she said.

  ‘Is everything alright?’ Alice could tell by the tone of her voice that things weren’t okay. ‘Are you ill?’

  ‘Oh, I’m fine.’

  ‘You don’t look it. Do you want me to call your mother?’

  ‘Alice, I’m fine.’ She pulled off her jacket, the mornings had started to get a little nippy. ‘It’s man trouble, that’s all.’

  ‘Oh.’ She smiled slightly. ‘Do you want to share? Perhaps I could help.’

  ‘Nah, I spent half the evening trying to understand it, but it doesn’t matter now. What I need to do now, is work.’ She looked through the diary to see what orders they had for the day. It was looking like another busy day, which she was grateful for.

  Alice picked up that Sahara didn’t want to talk about it, so instead they discussed other things. It wasn’t until four thirty that things changed. It was Alice who saw him first, but waited for Sahara to lift her head. He waited at the door and watched as she arranged some flowers.

  Sahara lifted her head, she’d felt him, she just wasn’t ready to face him.

  ‘Hi,’ he said.

  ‘You can’t just show up,’ she said.

  ‘I thought this was a florist. Is that the way you speak to a buying customer?’

  She didn’t respond, instead she went back to tending the flowers.

  ‘Are you upset with me?’

  ‘No, why would you think that.’ She didn’t lift her head.

  ‘Well, it just feels like it.’

  She lifted her head and smiled. ‘I only just met you. Why would I be mad?’ She lied, she was upset that she didn’t know what to think of him. It just felt out of control.

  ‘Can I order a bouquet of scarlet roses again?’ he asked.

  She watched him a moment and then nodded. Alice offered to do the order, and gave them a chance to talk.

  ‘I came here today to ask if you’d have dinner with me. Perhaps we could go for that pasta.’

  She was silent.

  ‘Pretty please.’ His smile captivated her.

  ‘I’m busy tonight.’ She smiled.

  ‘Doing what?’
<
br />   ‘That isn’t any of your business.’

  ‘I’m making it mine.’

  She placed another orchid between the arrangement. The customer would be picking it up within half an hour.

  ‘I’m catching up on Game of Thrones.’

  He laughed lightly.

  ‘I haven’t had time, between working and going to the hospital, well…but now I have the time.’

  ‘Do you mind if I join you, I love Game of Thrones and I haven’t had a chance to see much of it either.’

  She bit her bottom lip trying to hide the smile.

  ‘Fine, I’ll go for dinner.’ She caved.

  ‘I knew you would.’

  ‘That’s just because I didn’t want you in my house.’

  ‘And why’s that?’

  ‘Just because.’ Sahara loved teasing him, it seemed to be the highlight of their time together.

  They chatted while Sahara finished off the order, and it wasn’t long before Alice brought in the bouquet of Scarlet roses. Eugene settled the bill and finally handed them to Sahara.

  ‘For you. You deserve flowers everyday.’

  ‘Aww, thank you.’ She took them with a big grin.

  ‘You are welcome.’

  ‘Give me half an hour and then we can go. Is that okay?’

  ‘That’s perfect. I’ll be in my car. I need to make a few phone calls.’

  ‘Okay.’

  He winked, turned and stepped outside to the waiting car.

  ‘Wow!’ Alice said. ‘You didn’t tell me he was that gorgeous!’

  ‘Alice…ssssh.’ She giggled.

  ‘I think he’ll make you happy.’

  ‘Don’t start that, it’s only the second date.’

  ‘I can tell. I can tell that this man really, really likes you.’

  ‘Yes, well…it’s too early to tell, and besides, there’s me and – ’

  ‘Don’t even say it. Come back to the present moment and enjoy it.’

  ‘Okay, okay.’

  Over the years they’d always promised each other that when they slipped away from what was good, when their focus was on the bad instead of the good, they would always remind the other.

  ‘The present moment it is.’

  ****

  She slid into the car forty minutes later. He was still on a call when she sat beside him, but quickly ended it to give her his full attention.

  ‘Busy day?’ she asked.

  ‘You could say that. I might have to go away for a few days.’