Even In Darkness (Between)

by Cyndi Tefft

  “Where did ye get that?”

  “From you. It’s Nanny Fraser’s ring and you gave it to me on our wedding day.” Both times, I mentally added. “To have and to hold, in sickness and in health...” My gaze swept over his bloodied clothes. “...which I guess includes stabbings and gunshot wounds with you,” I said, trying to get him to smile again. It almost worked. I was thankful for the darkness because it masked the extent of Aiden’s wounds.

  “I love you, Aiden. And I’ll be honest, I’m one breath away from completely freaking out because you don’t remember me and you’re stuck in this hell hole bleeding to death. I swear, I’ll explain everything as soon as I can, but for now, you’ll just have to trust me. Can you do that?”

  His fingers reached out and grasped my hand. He silently stared at the ring before lifting his eyes to my own.

  “Aye. I trust ye.”

  My heart swelled with relief and I placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He tasted of blood and sweat, but I didn’t care. His eyebrows lifted in surprise, but he didn’t stop me. It was a start.

  “I’m going to get you some help. Stay here.” He gave me a look that said ‘Where am I going to go?’ and I recognized the stupidity of my statement. I wasn’t making sense, I realized, but I had to keep talking, had to keep moving, or the adrenaline that had brought me this far was going to run out and at that point, I’d be nothing more than a quivering, sobbing pile of ridiculously heavy skirts.

  I put the captain’s coat back on, ignoring the scowl on Aiden’s face, and pulled on the door, but it didn’t budge. “Hey! Callison! Let me out!” I yelled, beating on the wood with my fists. The door creaked open, revealing the sailor’s bulbous nose and scruffy chin. Yanking the door free, I pushed past him and started up the stairs.

  He took a second to lock the door behind me. “Hey, the cap’n said for me to fetch ‘im when ye were done. Stay!”

  I was nearing my breaking point and was not going to be commanded like a dog. “No, you stay! I’ll find the—” My mouth twisted on all the vicious names I wanted to call the bastard, but I figured that would ruin my cover of being under his protection. “I’ll find the captain myself,” I snarled, then took off running.

  The boat swayed under my feet making my unfamiliar shoes slip and slide ungracefully across the floor. I put my hands out to either side in an attempt to stay upright while I moved as fast as I could back down the hall toward the upper deck. Climbing the stairs was a nightmare in my long skirts. Reaching down, I grabbed the material in both fists and hiked the fabric up as high as I dared, afraid that I’d pass some nasty sailor and make him rabid with lust from the sight of my bare ankle or something.

  Emerging from the dark depths of the ship, I blinked in the brightness of daylight. Sweet, fresh air filled my lungs like a cup of cold water after wandering through the desert. Sunlight warmed my cheeks, giving me strength for what I needed to do.

  The captain stood talking with the man he’d called Stanton, who towered over Willie. While I watched, Red Beard patted Willie’s shoulder in a friendly gesture. Then he pointed up to the sail with his other arm and poked Willie in the chest. Willie stared straight ahead, not meeting anyone’s eyes. My heart twisted at the sight of him. He looked so young, but his back was ramrod stiff. He was a Scot through and through, and was not going to let them know how scared he really was. Pride swelled within me along with a fierce determination to save them both, no matter what it took.

  After a few words, the captain nodded and sent them on their way. Then he turned and saw me standing there. He did not look pleased.

  “I told Callison to fetch me when you were finished.” He started toward the stairs like he was going to give the rat a piece of his mind, but I stopped him, my hand held out in front of me.

  “He needs medical attention.”

  “Callison? Why, what happened?” Masterson looked taken aback.

  “No, Aiden! I can’t believe you tossed him in that filthy hole to bleed to death. He’s got a gunshot wound in his shoulder and he’s been stabbed in the leg. You have a doctor on board, right? Someone who can stop the bleeding and bandage him up?”

  He paused before answering. “We have a physician, yes.”

  “Well, don’t just stand there! Take me to him!” I reached out to pull on his sleeve, but the captain didn’t move an inch.

  “And why, pray tell, would I do that?”

  Blood boiled in my veins as I stared at him, incredulous. “What part of ‘bleeding to death’ don’t you understand? Or are you really that cold and heartless?”

  “And what part of ‘traitor’ seems to be causing you difficulty?” he replied. His mouth curled like he was enjoying this. Bastard. “Might I remind you that we are sailing to England where your husband is to be publicly hanged? Some might call me a humanitarian for allowing him to die in private.”

  “Among the chickens and the rats, with bugs the size of a can of pop!”

  Confusion wrinkled his brow. “A can of what?”

  With a deep, shuddering breath, I closed my eyes and attempted to reign in my temper. I’m in Between. We’re already dead. This is just some kind of sick cosmic joke. Clenching my fists at my sides, I tried for a calm tone and failed.

  “What do you want?” I demanded. He tried to look like he didn’t understand, so I spelled it out for him. “What is this really about, huh? I’ve had it. I don’t want to play this game anymore. Aiden, bleeding in that cesspool, not knowing who the hell I am, and you looking so damn much like him that it makes my head hurt... Just cut the crap! What do I have to do to get us out of this twisted freak show?” My finger poked him hard in the chest to emphasize my words. His hand wrapped around my wrist and he yanked me forward until I fell against him.

  “Ah, you wish to barter, do you?” His breath fell soft against my cheek.

  “What?” I tried to pull away, but his grip was too tight.

  “Quid pro quo. I have the physician tend to your lover’s wounds and you give me something I want.” His voice had dropped to a warm, dangerous whisper that only I could hear.

  Just then, Stanton came running across the boat toward us, his long legs quickly eating up the span of the deck. Captain Masterson gave me a look that said ‘This isn’t finished’ and released me. In two strides, he met Stanton, his face all business. They spoke in low tones so I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the captain gestured toward Willie, received a short nod from his crewman, then returned to me.

  “Lady MacRae,” he began. My reaction to the unfamiliar title made him pause. “That is your name, is it not?”

  “Yes,” I answered, not feeling at all like a lady in my dirty clothes, with my hair flying wildly about my head.

  “Do you love your husband?”

  My jaw dropped open. “Do I…” I sputtered. “What kind of question is that? Of course I do!”

  “And you would do anything to help him, I presume?” His face didn’t give away what he was thinking, but my imagination started spiraling out of control. Though it was a cool day, sweat trickled down my back. He couldn’t… he wouldn’t… Would he? Would I?

  “Wh...What do you want?” I glared at him defiantly, but the tremor in my voice gave me away. Straightening my shoulders, I clenched my jaw and waited for him to spell out his demands, knowing I had no choice but to go along with them.

  “Only a kiss,” he replied. Just then, the boat dipped and rocked against a wave. I stumbled backward, hooking my foot on the edge of my skirt, and barely caught myself. My glare of disgust only seemed to amuse him further. “Ah, perhaps your husband is not as important to you as you would have one believe.”

  I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. “Let me get this straight. You want me to kiss you and if I do, you’ll have your doctor take care of Aiden.”

  A self-satisfied grin was my answer.

  “Fine.” Before he could blink, I stepped forward and planted one on him, then moved back. “There. Your turn.”

&
nbsp; His mouth fell open momentarily before he snapped it shut. At least that smug look was off his face, though the anger in his eyes should have turned me to ashes on the spot.

  “Is that how we’re to play the game, then?” he said, straightening his shirt with a hard yank at the shoulders, like it had suddenly become too tight. “Very well. While I am tempted to honor my side of the bargain as well as you have honored yours…” He raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips.

  I had visions of him tossing a dirty wad of bandages at Aiden and calling it good. What had I done?

  “My word is of greater value to me than that. I shall honor the spirit of my promise and not merely the letter as you have done. The prisoner will be cared for as though he were one of my own men. And while I cannot guarantee that he will not expire from his wounds—you said yourself that they are substantial—I can promise you this.” Something dark and dangerous moved behind his eyes, a terrible, magnetic force that pulled at me. Fear skittered down my spine, along with something that was not quite fear—excitement, maybe? What was that about? I couldn’t make sense of it, so I chose to ignore it. Eagan feathered his fingertip across my lips. My skin burned under his touch. “Our next negotiation will not end in a similar fashion,” he said, a velvet voice over steel. “Do we understand one another?”

  I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of a response, so I lifted my chin and doled out a haughty stare instead. His dark brown eyes held mysteries in their depths. There was more going on here than I understood, and it frightened me more than I wanted to admit. Hating myself, I broke contact first and looked away.

  “There is the matter of my coat. I should like it returned,” he said, snapping me out of my thoughts. My gaze flicked over the deck of the ship, taking in the working men, knowing that his coat was keeping them from staring at my chest. Hesitantly, I started to shrug out of his jacket, but he stopped me.

  “Not here, woman.” He breathed an exasperated sigh. “You’ll go to my quarters and retrieve your corset. Stanton will send in your kin to assist you in dressing. Bring the coat back to me when you’re properly attired.”

  Apparently, we were finished because he turned and walked off, leaving me standing alone on the deck, staring after him like a reprimanded child.

  Not knowing what else to do, I stomped off toward his room, irritated that he’d given me orders and I was following them. Once there, I found the damn corset right where I’d left it, flung into the corner like a dead bat, wings going every which way. I snatched it up off the floor and hugged it to my chest, wishing I could rein in my emotions the way this piece of cloth and whalebone reined in the flesh.

  None of this made any sense. Instinctively, I knew I was in Between, but it wasn’t the same as the last time I’d been here. Everything was turned upside down. The offspring of a hell transporter and a heaven transporter will rule the realm in Between. Mona’s words echoed in my head. Did ruling the realm mean he could keep me from casting? From speaking to Aiden in my head? Could he erase Aiden’s memories of me? And why would he want to? What was he trying to accomplish? Questions and theories circled in my head like a dog chasing its tail.

  I sat on the edge of the bed and clenched my skirt in my lap. My grip on sanity was starting to slip away. Helplessness bore down on me with a leaden weight. A teardrop streaked down my cheek, but I hastened to wipe it away as the door opened. Willie stood in the entryway, looking like a spooked rabbit ready to bolt at any second. Though I knew he was twelve years old, he looked so small at that moment.

  “You can come in,” I said softly, so as not to startle him.

  “Right,” he said, almost to himself, then crossed the room to stand as far away from me as possible.

  “The captain sent you to help me put on my corset, I guess. I can’t get the damn thing on myself.”

  His eyes widened briefly, then narrowed. “Ladies dinna swear. And ye have them all thinking you’re a lady married to my brother.” The frightened child disappeared as his belligerent Scottish heritage took over. “Why? What have ye done with him? They willna let me see him!” His face clearly stated this was all my fault. And as much as I hated to admit it, he was right.

  “I’m sorry. I just...” The words fell away. Sorry for what? For swearing, for getting us killed and dumped into a realm ruled by some psycho, for forcing him help me get dressed? Yes, all of the above, I supposed. “They’re keeping Aiden locked up with the animals below deck. I’ve...uh, made arrangements to have a doctor take care of his wounds.” I cleared my throat, thinking about the precarious position I was putting myself in, bartering with the captain. Still, I couldn’t see any way around it. Whatever it cost me, Aiden was more important.

  Squaring my shoulders, I declared, “He’s going to be all right.” Maybe if I said it with enough confidence, I could convince myself it was true.

  Willie let my words sink in for a beat. “I need to see him. Can ye take me to him?”

  I pictured Callison in my mind: meaty arms crossed over his chest, the sparse hair on his head sticking out in all directions as he blocked our entrance. No, I wasn’t sure he’d even let me back in without express permission from the captain, let alone Willie.

  “I don’t think—” I began, but Willie cut me off.

  “Ye must!” he snapped before his lip started to quiver and he burst into tears. “He...Aiden...I...” His skinny shoulders shook with sobs, breaking my heart in two.

  I crossed the room and pulled him into a hug. He didn’t resist.

  “’Tis my fault.” His small voice was muffled against my chest. “He gave me the dirk. I was supposed to kill the soldiers and guard the door. I couldna do it. When I heard them coming, I ran like the coward I am.”

  “No! You’re not a coward.” What was with these MacRae boys anyway, thinking they had no right to be afraid? It was crazy. I’d had to beat some sense into Aiden over this same thing and now I had to do it with Willie as well.

  His voice broke as he snuffled against me. “Aiden willna want to see me anyway, so ashamed he’ll be of what I’ve done.”

  I grasped him by the shoulders and pulled him up so he had to face me. “Nonsense. Your brother loves you and there’s nothing in the world you could ever do to change that. What happened wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

  A black scowl appeared on his face, his eyes flicking to the door. “’Twas their fault, the bloody redcoats. They destroyed my home, they killed my mother...” He bit his quivering lip at the thought of her, then he squared his shoulders and stood up straight. “I willna let them take Aiden, too. They mean to hang him! And they said I’d be going to the gallows with him if n’ I didn’t play nice and tend the sails of this blasted ship.” His red rimmed eyes burned with defiance. “Well, to hell with them! I’ll not be made a coward again. If Aiden goes, I go. And ye can tell the captain I said as much!”

  “You’re only twelve years old!” A vision popped into my head of his slender frame swinging from the end of a rope, his lifeless hands hanging by his sides. A shudder ran through my blood.

  “I’m nearly thirteen,” he replied, like that mattered.

  “Not until October.” I jumped to my feet, ignoring the look on his face that clearly said ‘How the hell do you know that?’

  “Wait just a minute, okay?” I stalled, totally making things up on the fly. “What if... What if I could keep him from being hanged? What if I could save him?”

  Willie gave me a suspicious glare. “And how would ye do that?”

  I had no idea if it would work, but I couldn’t see any other way. The very idea made my stomach clench with revulsion, but if Willie was going to be brave, dammit, so would I.

  “The captain. He... likes me.”

  Even at twelve years old, Willie understood the meaning behind my words. His eyes slid away from mine. “You’re offering to trade your body for my brother’s life.”

  God, when he put it like that... Swallowing hard, I nodded.


  “Why?” His question lingered in the air, thick with distrust and hope.

  “Because I love him.” There was no other way to put it.

  Willie turned and stared at me for what felt like an eternity. Voice laced with equal parts suspicion and awe, he asked again, “Who are ye?”

  Damn, I was so sick of that question. “I already told you. I’m his wife. And if you want to keep your brother alive, you’ll accept that. I’ll tell you all about it someday, but for right now, if anyone asks you about it, especially Aiden, you’ll tell them I’m your sister in law. You got that?”

  His eyes widened at the vehemence in my tone, but he nodded.

  “Good. Now help me put this freaking corset on so I can get the hell out of this room and figure out what we’re going to do next.”

  Chapter 8

  Callison blocked my way once I’d made it down the stairs to the pit where they were holding Aiden. “And where do ye think you’re going?” he said. Spittle flew out of his mouth on the word “think” because of his missing teeth, completely skeeving me out, but I pushed it aside and glared at him.

  “Let me in.”

  His belly jiggled up and down with laughter. “Ah, can’t do that. Captain’s orders. No one in or out without his permission.”

  “I’ll tell you where you can shove the captain’s orders. Now open the damn door!” When he didn’t budge, my eyes darted around the dark hallway, looking for something I could beat him over the head with. Even if I couldn’t knock him out cold and get the door open, it sure would feel good to hit something. But the hall was deserted except for the chair beside Callison and the oil lamp above it. Maybe I could knock the lamp off the wall and light him on fire, I thought grimly, but then the fire would spread and how would that help Aiden?

  Okay, wow, I’m really losing it, I realized, since I was debating the merits of burning down the whole damn ship. Taking a deep breath, I started to turn away and head back up the stairs to find the captain, but was saved when the door opened from the inside. A tall man with thick grey hair and bushy eyebrows ducked under the low doorframe and stepped into the hallway. The look on his face filled my stomach with dread.