Even In Darkness (Between)

by Cyndi Tefft

  Callison addressed the man with a bright smile. “And how is the prisoner holding up, doc? Sounded like ye were killing ‘im in there!”

  I’d never wanted to hurt another person so much in my entire life.

  “He’s not well,” the doctor replied, his eyebrows drawn together in censure. Then he saw me. He stood up straighter, his head nearly reaching the ceiling, his presence seeming to suck the air out of the narrow hall. “Lady MacRae, I presume?” When I nodded, he turned to Callison and said, “The captain has given express permission for Mrs. MacRae to tend to the prisoner, to come and go as she desires.”

  The fierce sense of victory that spiked within me cooled instantly at his next words.

  “I fear you may not have long, my lady, as your husband is not likely to make it through the night. His injuries are substantial and there remains a significant risk of infection.” His mouth turned down in professional sympathy before he nodded to me and strode away. I stood rooted to the floor, staring dumbly after him.

  “Well go on in, then, why don’t ye?” Callison’s bark snapped me to attention. A thousand nasty retorts fought their way to my lips, but I swallowed them down. I didn’t have time to stand out here and trade insults with this dickhead.

  I pressed the door open and let my eyes adjust to the darkness. The humid stench of animal waste rushed to consume me. Breathing through my mouth, I stepped toward the figure that was hunched over in the corner.

  “Aiden?” I said, loud enough to be heard over the squawking chickens in their pens. Reaching out to sweep the sweat-soaked hair off his brow, I tried again. “Aiden, sweetie, can you hear me?”

  He came alive with a jerk, his eyes wildly scanning the room but landing on nothing.

  “It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s just me, Lindsey.”

  His brow wrinkled in confusion. “Lindsey?” His gaze was unfocused, his eyes clouded with pain. Worry sliced through me.

  “I’m here, baby. You’re going to be okay. The doctor said you’re through the worst of it and you should start feeling better soon.”

  He let his head fall back against the wall and closed his eyes. “I know what you’re trying to do, but ye can save your breath. I’m done for.” His voice was reed-thin and hoarse.

  “Don’t say that! You’re going to make it, I promise. And I won’t leave your side. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll get through this together.” Tears stung the backs of my eyes, but I blinked them away and squeezed his hand.

  Minutes passed where neither of us moved at all. I bowed my head and prayed out loud, asking God to help us out of this crazy mess, to heal Aiden’s wounds, and to show us what we should do. When I said “amen,” the light squeeze of Aiden’s fingers on mine brought a flicker of hope to life in my chest.

  The doctor left a bundle of cloths for bandages and a mortar and pestle with some kind of dark green, grassy smelling concoction that I supposed was a poultice. I’d read a historical romance novel once where the heroine had to nurse the hero with this stuff, but I had no idea what I was doing. A flask lay beside the small pile of supplies. I knew without even having to open the cap that it was whisky to help numb the pain. A pang of guilt snuck up on me as I realized the captain had kept his promise of getting Aiden medical attention, even though I’d only given him a quick peck on the lips. Of course, we wouldn’t be in this situation at all if it weren’t for him, so I didn’t feel bad for long. Blood was already starting to seep through Aiden’s bandages, even though the doctor hadn’t been gone more than fifteen minutes. The pile he’d left wouldn’t last through the night. I debated going upstairs for a bowl of clean water to rinse the bandages, but I didn’t want to leave his side.

  The air in the dark, dingy room seemed to cling to me like a turtleneck two sizes too small. Stretching my shoulders, I tried to shake it off, but the fug was persistent and close. A fierce desire to rescue Aiden from this hell hole gripped me, but I knew there was nothing I could do. Even if I tried bartering with the captain, there was no way he’d let Aiden out into the fresh air. To him, Aiden was nothing more than a murderer, a traitor. In a fit of desperation, I tried casting again, but nothing happened. I knew it wouldn’t, but I had to try. I’d never felt more helpless in my life.

  The hours stretched on until I’d completely lost my sense of time. Anxiety chewed at my gut, but eventually even that subsided until only numbness remained. Aiden slept fitfully beside me, moaning in his sleep, mumbling words in Gaelic that I couldn’t make out. When his bandages became completely soaked through, I changed them for new ones until my stockpile was gone. I even patted some of the herbal poultice over his wounds, hoping that I was doing it right. During one of his more coherent moments, he tried taking a sip of whiskey, but promptly spit it back up, coughing and wheezing in a way that scared the living crap out of me. My voice grew hoarse from trying to convince the both of us that he would be fine, lies that grew more and more hollow as one hour blended into the next.

  At some point, I must have fallen asleep because I woke to Aiden’s delirious cries. Adrenaline shot through me at the sound. My heart flipped into my throat while my brain frantically tried to catch up. He was burning hot and soaked clear through with sweat.

  Shit, he’s got a raging fever. Just like the doctor predicted.

  “Willie! Oh God, no!” Aiden thrashed on the floor, then curled into a fetal position. His eyes rolled back in his head, then snapped open as he cried out in anguish. “What have I done? Willie!”

  My heart was cracking in two, but I had to be strong. This was so not the time to lose it.

  “He’s okay, Aiden! Willie’s fine. He’s here. He’s on the boat, I swear.” I tried to calm him down, but he was beyond comprehension, hands reaching out to grasp the ghost of his brother.

  Stringing together every curse word I could think of—knowing Aiden couldn’t hear me anyway—I stomped over to the door and found it unlocked. Wrenching it open, I saw Callison asleep in his chair like the completely incompetent guard he was. With a hard smack upside his head, I yelled, “Hey! Wake up!” He snorted and fell over, bringing the chair crashing down beside him. Bending down, I yanked the dagger at his belt out of its sheath and grabbed his shirt in my fist. “Go get his brother and bring him down here right now or so help me God, I will kill you. Do you understand me?” My voice had taken on a feral, vicious quality that I didn’t recognize, but I didn’t care. I was in kill-or-be-killed mode at this point and I had no doubt I could take on the fat bastard in my current state. Callison scooted away from me, eyeing the knife I’d stolen, then took off down the hallway. “And tell him to bring some water!” I screamed after him. I had no idea if he’d follow through on my demands, but I couldn’t leave Aiden.

  The adrenaline spike I’d felt in threatening Callison wore off too soon, leaving me light headed and shaky. I righted the chair and propped open the doorway with it, thankful for the meager light and stirring of air that it supplied. Sweat dripped between my breasts, which were still squeezed too tightly in my rigid corset. My skirts were so heavy, they felt like children pulling at my legs. Crossing the room to Aiden, I took a slug of the whisky from his flask, since he wasn’t using it anyway. The raw alcohol seared a path down my throat and pooled in my chest, but it wasn’t long before the panic scraping at my insides started to subside. I took another swig just for good measure and sat down next to Aiden.

  Oh God, what do I do now? I prayed for the hundredth time. A melody bubbled up from my subconscious, a song Aiden had written for my birthday. Softly, I began to sing, more as a way to keep my mind off of his agony, than with any real hopes of soothing him.

  God stretched out His hand

  Created heavens and the Earth

  He set the sun and moon aglow

  Made the ocean, sea and firth

  To my amazement, Aiden stilled at the sound of me singing, ceasing his endless thrashing and moaning. The stricken lines of his brow smoothed and softened as I continued.

&n
bsp; Creatures of every shape and size

  Filled the water and the land

  And when He saw that it was good

  He gave it to one man

  Hope blossomed within me and I sang out stronger, lightly running my fingertips over his skin in hopes of cooling him down.

  “Lindsey,” he said, his voice hoarse and desperate.

  “I’m here, baby. I’ll never leave you.” I pressed my lips to his temple, wincing at the heat that radiated from him. “Tha gaol agam ort, mo chridhe.” I told him I loved him in his native tongue and knew he understood when his lip began to quiver. Though his eyes were closed, he reached out and took my hand, then brought it to his mouth.

  “Tapadh leat,” he replied. “Thank you.” When he opened his eyes, he stared at me with an expression I could not read. Wonder, perhaps, mixed with grief. “You don’t understand… I can’t… I have to…” he rambled incoherently, tears coursing over his cheeks as his eyes begged me to forgive him for I-don’t-know-what.

  “Shhh…” I said, stroking the dampened hair from his temple. “Save your strength. Just rest now.” With a barely perceptible nod, he closed his eyes and let his body relax into sleep.

  His brother appeared at the door sometime later, arms laden with a bowl of water and a supply of fresh bandages.

  “Willie! Oh, thank God. I could kiss you!” I said, jumping up to take the bowl from his hands. His eyes were riveted on the sunken form of his brother. Tears sprang to his eyes, but simply shimmered there, never falling over his cheeks.

  “Am I too late, then?” he asked in a shaken voice.

  “No!” I rushed to correct him. “He’s sleeping now. The fever’s had him up all night. Half the time, he doesn’t even know where he is, but he’s been calling for you.”

  Willie swallowed hard, spearing me with a helpless look.

  “Go, sit with him. Let him hear your voice.” I gave him a gentle nudge and he nodded, crossing the room to sit with Aiden.

  “Right, then. Aiden, it’s Willie. I…” With a quick glance at me, he switched to Gaelic. The tears that had pooled in his eyes sprang free and coursed down his face as the words tumbled out of his mouth. I didn’t catch most of what he said, but one phrase he repeated throughout was something I recognized: Tha mi duilich. ‘I’m sorry.’

  When he finished and sat quietly sobbing at his brother’s side, I settled down next to him and laid my hand on his arm. “It’s not your fault, Willie. None of this is your fault. Aiden loves you and I know you love him, too. Please don’t blame yourself. He’s…” I was going to say that he would be okay, but one look at Aiden, and even I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. “Thank you for bringing the water and bandages,” I said instead, then busied myself with changing the coverings over his wounds and mopping his brow.

  For the first time, I was thankful for the background noise the animals provided because otherwise, we would have just sat in uncomfortable silence. Neither of us wanted to leave, but short of using the cloths to try and cool Aiden’s skin, there wasn’t much we could do but wait.

  Willie brought out a gold pocket watch and played with it, letting the chain fall through his fingers again and again. “This belonged to my father. ‘Tis all I have of him. I’ve heard it said he was a good man, but I never met him. Died afore I was born.”

  “I know,” I said quietly. Aiden had cast a memory for me before so I’d seen firsthand what a strong, handsome man their father had been. Willie didn’t even acknowledge my comment; he was too absorbed in his own thoughts, no doubt going over all that he had lost.

  After what felt like hours, Willie cleared his throat and turned to me. “My mam used to tell me stories whenever I fell ill,” he said. “Do ye know any?”

  I’d promised Willie I’d tell him the truth at some point, so I figured now was just as good a time as any. “Okay, but it’s a doozy, so you’ll have to hang in there with me to the end, all right?”

  “A doozy?”

  “Never mind; just listen.” With a shake of my head, I plowed forward, ignoring the way my heart tripped over itself. “Once upon a time, there was a girl who lived three hundred years in the future. While she was still young—my age, actually—she died in a terrible accident and woke to find herself in a meadow. When she bent down to take a drink from the stream there, she met a handsome man, a transporter who’d come to take her from Earth to heaven.”

  Willie listened intently as I told him the whole story, interrupting only when he didn’t understand a word or phrase I used. About midway through, his brow furrowed and his eyes darkened with suspicion, but he didn’t cut me off.

  “They fell over the edge of a cliff and ended up in the realm in between Earth and heaven again. Only this time, he didn’t remember her. How could she explain that she was his wife when he didn’t even recognize her?”

  Willie’s eyes grew wide with comprehension. He scooted away from me, then stood and pointed his finger in accusation. “You…”

  I didn’t reply, but stared at him, waiting.

  “But…but…no, it canna be,” he said, swinging his head in denial like he could somehow erase what I’d said. “Then what am I?”

  “I don’t know,” I replied honestly. I had no idea how Willie figured into this whole mess. Aiden had believed for three hundred years that his brother was dead. Did his presence here mean he didn’t die during the battle? Or was he a spirit, sucked back into this charade in Between? Why was he here? Hell, why were we here? What did the captain want with us, with him? Was he simply toying with us or was there a point to this madness? I didn’t have any answers, so I didn’t offer any. “I’ve told you all I know. What happens next is…” I waved a helpless hand in the air.

  Willie crossed his arms over his chest and stood in silence, not looking at me. I let him process and went back to caring for Aiden, singing softly to him as I did so.

  Callison appeared at the door, his bulky frame cutting off the light from the hall. He narrowed his eyes at me in a way that clearly said ‘I haven’t forgotten about the knife you stole from me.’ I glared back at him. “Captain wants you on deck,” he said to Willie. “Your little party here is over.”

  With a last glance at me, Willie shoved away from the wall and stalked out of the room, muttering Gaelic obscenities. Callison stepped to the side to let him pass, then gave me a nasty look before he slammed the door closed and locked us inside.

  Chapter 9

  Aiden’s fever broke sometime the next morning. I was asleep next to him on the hard, filthy floor and I felt his fingertips on my cheek.

  “Lindsey,” he said, sounding more like himself than he had in days.

  Blinking to wake up, I shifted and turned toward him. “Hi, you.” I was going to ask if he was feeling better, but there was no need. His cheeks were a normal color again and his eyes shone clear. Joy and relief surged through me, bringing a wave of fresh tears. I tried to hold them back, but the smile on his face was my undoing. Laughing and hiccupping, I let the tears fall where they may.

  “You are an angel, lass.”

  Grinning, I repeated the words he’d said to me when I first met him. “No, angels are incredible beings, fierce and dangerous, and so beautiful you can barely stand to look at them.”

  “You’re not proving me wrong, then,” he said, his voice a shade lower than before. One hand reached out to cradle my cheek and my heart went into overdrive. “So soft, and yet so strong,” he whispered as he leaned forward to kiss me.

  All the stress from the last couple days melted away at the touch of his lips. None of it mattered. Only that moment. Only us. I wanted to pull him closer to prolong the kiss, but I didn’t want to scare him away. This was enough for now.

  “No one has ever cared for me like that.” The look of awe on his face took my breath away. “Even though I don’t remember everything, I know fair well that ye never left my side and I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. I cannot thank ye enough.”

 
“You don’t have to thank me. I love you. I’d walk through hell for you, Aiden.”

  At that, his face grew troubled, like he was conflicted about something. He brushed some dirt off his kilt, not meeting my eye.

  “What? What is it?” I pressed, but he just shook his head.

  “I believe you. And I’m sorry for it.”

  Anxiety niggled at me. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I may have survived the fever, but I’m still to be hanged as a traitor, aye? Me and my brother. You shouldn’t be involved in any of this. You deserve more.” Self-hatred marred his features.

  “Don’t give up. I haven’t. We’ll find a way out of this, I promise.”

  “After last night, you’ve no idea how much I wish that were true, love.” He squeezed my hand, then sighed heavily and laid back down, covering his eyes with one arm draped across his face.

  Despite his lack of faith, I couldn’t help but smile, since he’d called me ‘love’ and kissed me. I hadn’t realized until that moment how scared I’d been that, if he didn’t remember me, he wouldn’t fall in love with me again. Determination pulsed in my veins. We’d find a way out of this together, no matter what the spawn threw at us. We would not go down without a fight.

  Callison appeared at the door, looking smug, like he knew something I didn’t. “Cap’n wants ye. In his quarters. Now.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “And give me back my knife.”

  I pushed back the impulse to wipe that sickening grin off his face. “Tell the captain—” He can go to hell, I wanted to say, but I bit my tongue. I had yet to secure a pardon for Aiden and Willie and the captain was my only hope of keeping them from the noose. Aiden’s hand closed over mine protectively, clearly telling me not to go, but I had to. For both of them. “Tell him I’m coming.”