Even In Darkness (Between)

by Cyndi Tefft

  “Ha, I thought as much. And no, I’ll not be leaving me post. You can tell him yourself. Get on wi’ ye.”

  “Bite me,” I replied, though I got to my feet and gave him back his knife before I shoved past him.

  “Dinna worry, mate,” I heard Callison say to Aiden behind me. “I’m sure the cap’n will take good care of her.”

  Everything in me wanted to go back and kick him in the nuts, but instead, I tromped up the stairs, trying to focus on my goal. The ship rocked suddenly under my feet, causing me to lose my balance. My hands were occupied with hiking up my skirts high enough to climb the stairs, so I barely caught myself from falling backward down the stairs. Still, my ankle twisted beneath me, and a spike of pain shot up my leg. I crumbled onto the steps, breathing in jagged bursts. Embrace the anger, I told myself. This was all his fault. If he hadn’t ordered me to his cabin, if he hadn’t thrown Aiden into that filthy pit, if he hadn’t taken us prisoner on this God forsaken boat to start with, none of this would have happened.

  Pushing to my feet, I gathered my skirts in one fist again and used my other hand to drag myself up the stairs, using the wall for support. My ankle began to throb so hard that putting any pressure on it made tears swim in my eyes, but I couldn’t just sit in the dark stairway waiting for someone to trip over me. When I finally made it to the top, breath sawed in and out of my lungs like I’d just run a marathon. My legs turned to jelly and I had to sit down.

  Willie spied me and came running over. “What is it? What’s ailing ye?”

  I rubbed my hands over my face to try and compose myself. “It’s nothing. I just hurt my ankle. I’ll be fine.”

  “Ye don’t look fine. I’ll get the captain.”

  “No! Just—” I tried to stop him, but he took off before I could say anything else. “Great. Just great.” So much for negotiating from a position of power. I doubted the captain would have much use for me in this condition, even if he wanted me before. Time pressed in on me. We were almost to England, I was sure of it, and I had to do something drastic before we got there. I began to struggle to my feet, trying to avoid stepping on the hem of my skirts, but before I could right myself, the deck shook with the force of heavy footsteps pounding toward me.

  The captain stood and looked down at me, a lock of his black hair falling over his brow. He wasn’t even winded, though I knew he’d been running. “The lad says you’ve injured yourself. What happened?” His eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Did he hurt you?”

  “What?” I choked out, flabbergasted. “You mean Aiden? Or Callison, that disgusting vermin you have guarding the door? I wouldn’t put it past him, but no. I slipped on the stairs.”

  His lips quirked up on one side. “He is rather vile, isn’t he?” A chuckle rumbled from deep in his belly.

  “It’s not funny. You keep us trapped down there like rabid animals.”

  “Au contraire, ma chérie. You are free to come and go as you wish. Though perhaps now...” A frown marred his perfect features as he took in my swelling ankle. He dropped into a crouch beside me with his arms outstretched. “May I?”

  I shrugged, not knowing what else to do. He wrapped one arm around my waist and placed his other beneath my legs, then smoothly stood as though I weighed nothing at all. The heat from his body seeped into me as he cradled me against his chest and carried me back to his quarters. I buried my face in his jacket to avoid the knowing glances of the sailors as we passed. This looked bad, I knew. But what did I expect? I had planned to offer him my body in exchange for Aiden and Willie’s freedom, and here I was getting all embarrassed over being carried in front of his men. I was going to have to grow a thicker skin if I was going to make it through this carnival house of horrors.

  He bent to turn the knob, then pushed the cabin door open with his foot. “Hmmm... I guess we’ll have to move this to the bed,” he said as we entered.

  My pulse spiked into cardiac arrest territory. Now? He wants to... but I haven’t even...

  My eyes landed on a candlelit table in the center of the room where two plates, laden with meat, bread, and fruit sat across from one another, with a goblet in each corner. The scent of roasted turkey washed over me and my stomach growled in response. When was the last time I’d eaten? I remembered Aiden saying that we didn’t really need to eat in Between, that it was the suggestion of food that made us desire it, not our bodies. Well, that was the Between from before, not now, because I was definitely starved.

  “Captain, I—”

  “Please, call me Eagan.” His deep voice held the warmth of a physical touch.

  “Eagan,” I started, his name feeling too intimate in my mouth. “You did this…for me?” I couldn’t keep the awe out of my voice as I stared greedily at the food.

  He crossed the room and set me on the bed. “I thought you could use a hot meal. Do you like it?”

  Maybe it was the pain in my ankle, which was now radiating waves of heat up my leg, or the fact that I hadn’t eaten in so long, but the vulnerability on his face cracked through the hard shell I’d worked hard to erect. He looked like a little boy who’d picked a handful of wild flowers for a neighbor girl, hoping she would see beyond the few weeds to the thoughtfulness behind his gift.

  He settled me against the pillows and sat down beside me, then reached out and lifted my skirt to my calf, exposing my injury. He unlaced my white boot and gently tugged it free, frowning at my quick hiss of breath.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. It had to come off.”

  Nodding, I fought back tears as he placed his hand on my ankle and turned it slowly, checking the range of motion. When I made a strangled noise of protest, he stopped.

  “Not broken, just sprained. I’ll fetch the physician.” When he stood to leave, the bed sprang up as a physical reminder of his absence. I’m not sure why, but I didn’t want him to go. “Stay here,” he said, then shook his head with a that-was-stupid look on his face. A short laugh burbled out of me and his lips twisted in a self-deprecating smirk.

  “I’ll return shortly, but please, start without me.” He brought a plate of food from the table and set the goblet within easy reach. “Keep an eye on the wine, as it may shift when the boat rocks. Don’t lunge forward to catch it if that happens. Just let it go.”

  His warm chocolate eyes met mine and stayed there, making my pulse beat hot and thick. “Thank you,” I managed finally, not knowing what else to say. What was wrong with me? He was supposed to be the enemy, the evil bastard who had gotten us into this mess, but at that moment, I couldn’t bring myself to hate him. I told myself it was all an elaborate act, but the honesty in his gaze seared me, evaporating my anger and leaving me confused.

  By the time he returned with the doctor, most of my food was gone. I’d started to eat the dinner roll, then realized I should save it for Aiden. I didn’t know if he could keep down any solid food, but I wanted him to try, and bread seemed like a safe place to start. Berating myself for not hiding the roll before the captain returned, I made a big show of not being able to reach my wine.

  “Capt—I mean, Eagan, could you…?” I said. When he jumped up to reach for the wine, I stuffed the bread in the folds of my skirt. But he turned at just the wrong moment and saw me do it. My breath caught as I waited for him to say something. Disappointment washed down his face. His lips pursed and he paused, my glass still in his hand. Then he handed me the cup and strode across the room to grab his own plate. His chair scraped along the wooden floor and he seated himself across from me while the doctor tended to my foot.

  Guilt bit the back of my neck, but I bristled in self-righteous anger. What did he expect? It’s not like I could just saunter out with an armful of food to take down to Aiden. Of course I had to hide it from him! And it’s not like Eagan was sending down plates of meat to the prison cell, either. I’m sure if Aiden got anything at all, it would be a bowl of some nasty gruel or other. The captain didn’t care about Aiden’s health. And why would he?
He was just going to kill him anyway. A weak prisoner is a hell of a lot easier to handle than a strong one, right?

  Frustrated and out of sorts by Eagan’s recent kindness, I yelped in pain when the doctor accidentally bumped my ankle. “Ouch! Damn it, leave it alone! It’s fine. I’m fine. Just go.”

  The doctor jerked back like I’d slapped him, but recovered himself quickly. “As you wish. You shouldn’t put any pressure on the limb for a couple of days.”

  “A couple of days? Right. Like that’s going to happen.” I set down my cup and swung my legs off the bed. “I have to go.” My teeth ground together when my foot hit the floor, but I wouldn’t give Eagan the satisfaction of seeing how much it hurt to stand.

  The doctor packed up his bag and beat feet out the door. I took a tentative step to follow him, but Eagan stopped me with a hand on my arm.

  “Lindsey, don’t leave.”

  “I have to. Aiden needs me.”

  The look in his eyes made it clear that Aiden was not the only one who needed me right then, but I shook my head and limped toward the door.

  Eagan got there before I did and held it open, though his eyes were asking me to stay. As I hobbled past him, he grabbed my hand and closed my fingers around a soft dinner roll. My head snapped up and our eyes met.

  “I’m not the monster you take me to be,” he said, so softly I barely heard him. “Stay. I’ll see that he’s fed. I promise.”

  An image of Aiden sprang to mind, the look on his face when he’d kissed me for never leaving his side while he was ill. Even if they had to amputate my foot, I wouldn’t leave him down there alone.

  “I’m sorry. I can’t.” Pocketing the extra roll, I turned and stumbled across the deck without looking back.

  When I finally made it down the stairs, Callison gave me a knowing wink. All the pain and misery I was feeling intensified at seeing his stupid face. Maybe I couldn’t hate the captain, but I sure as hell had no problem taking out my aggressions on Callison. Still, I was in no shape to defend myself if he decided to get physical, so I settled for flipping him the bird. He probably had no idea what that meant—was it even around in the 1700s?—but I didn’t care. The look on my face probably conveyed the same message. He just laughed and shook his head as I shuffled past him and into the dark pit to find Aiden.

  He looked up as I entered, his smile bright enough to light the room, then he saw me limping and rose to meet me. He had a bad leg of his own, but he seemed to be in better shape than before. I was amazed at how quickly he’d healed from his wounds once the fever passed. Of course, we were in Between and time was not the same here, I reminded myself. Spending most of my time in the holding cell with Aiden, I frequently lost track of whether it was day or night. The hours melted into one another with only the flicker of the oil lamp to light the filthy hole. And yet, seeing his face when I returned, his relief and joy that I’d come back to him, that alone made up for all the rest. Eagan may have his good moments, but he isn’t Aiden, I reminded myself.

  “What happened?” he asked, taking my arm to help me sit. The relief at taking the pressure off my leg was so sweet, I nearly fainted.

  “I lost my balance going up the stairs when the boat rocked and twisted my ankle.” My head fell back against the wall. “Man, I miss jeans,” I mumbled.

  “Jeans?” Aiden gave me a quizzical look.

  I debated telling him everything right then, just to see what he’d say, but I didn’t have the strength to get into it.

  “Never mind. It was...the name of a pet I had growing up.”

  Aiden sat beside me and twined his fingers through mine, but he turned his face away to hide a sheepish grin. “I know ye’ve likely told me this before, but since I can’t remember...”

  “What?”

  He looked down at our hands and stroked my fingers lightly. “I was curious about your family. Do ye have siblings? Where are ye from? You’ve an accent I can’t quite place.”

  The thought of my family made my chest tighten with longing. I missed my parents. I couldn’t believe they were going to have to deal with losing me, and so soon after my first accident. It was all so unfair.

  “I’m an only child, no brothers or sisters. And I’m American.”

  His eyebrows reached his hairline at this information. “Aye? The new world? I’ve heard of it, of course, but I can’t say I’ve ever met someone who hails from there. Especially not a woman.”

  Something about the disapproving tone of his voice on the word “woman” made me feel like a cat forced into water. I pulled my hand free and crossed my arms over my chest. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Sorry, I meant no offence. ‘Tis only...well, I’ve never met anyone quite like you. You’ve a spirit about ye, feisty and fierce, that I must admit, I rather enjoy. And yet, here you are, in this blackened dungeon with me when you’re free to come and go as you choose.” He shrugged apologetically. “I’m simply trying to make sense of it all.”

  My irritation cooled, since the overwhelming confusion in his voice was something I was struggling with as well. “It’s okay. I don’t understand it all myself.” Fatigue pressed down on me like a heavy blanket and the next thing I knew, I was cradled against Aiden with his good arm wrapped around my shoulders.

  “Rest a bit, lass. I’ll be here when ye wake.”

  He’d said something similar to me in the church the first time we’d met. The memory tasted sweet and I clung to it like a child with a lollipop as I let the darkness pull me in.

  Chapter 10

  When I woke up, my throat felt like sandpaper. I desperately needed a drink, but the pitcher I’d scavenged from the kitchen for Aiden was bone dry. The thought crossed my mind to ask Callison to go fetch me some water, since my ankle was still swollen and sore. As if he’d do that. Yeah, right. Still, picturing his look of righteous indignation at my request that he leave his precious post for one minute made me smile. Hefting myself to my feet, I grabbed the empty pitcher and told Aiden I’d be back soon with some water.

  “If only I could fetch it for ye,” he said with a frown. “I hate being trapped inside here, unable to care for myself, not knowing what’s happening outside.” He stood up and began pacing the cramped enclosure like a caged tiger. “And that captain...” He stopped suddenly, fixing me with an unflinching stare. “He fancies you, aye? Has he touched you?”

  “No!” I replied too quickly. His eyes narrowed as though he could see right through me. I argued with myself that I wasn’t really lying. Technically, I was the one who’d kissed him, not the other way around. And I wouldn’t really call it a kiss anyway. More of a peck.

  “But he wants to.” Aiden crossed his arms and waited, daring me to contradict his statement. I couldn’t, so I didn’t even try.

  “I’m going to get water,” I said, then hurried for the door with his eyes burning a hole in my back.

  After pushing past Callison and biting my tongue to keep from responding to his taunting words about me leaving Aiden and taking care of him for a change, I ascended the stairs one step at a time. Beads of sweat broke out across my forehead with the effort. My throat burned like I’d swallowed a cup full of hot sand. When I finally reached the upper deck, the cool morning air on my skin felt like jumping into a swimming pool in the middle of August.

  With a silent prayer of thanks for the relief from the stifling heat downstairs, I started across the ship. The captain stood next to Stanton at the base of one of the massive sails, looking skyward. Following their gaze, I spied a streak of red hair up several hundred feet in the air. Willie had climbed the post and had maneuvered himself out across the beam, attempting to unhook a sail that had become twisted. A sharp wind kicked up while I watched and the fabric of the sail snapped taut. The boat rocked violently to one side. My skirts whipped around my legs and I held onto the railing to keep from falling. With strands of hair lashing at my face, I worked my way over to Eagan to demand that he get Willie down right now, but I wasn�
��t fast enough. A thin scream pierced the air as Willie lost his grip on the beam and plummeted into the churning waters below.

  “Willie!” I screamed, dropping the empty water pitcher. I lurched toward the rail and peered down. A little splash marked where he’d fallen, but his red hair was nowhere to be seen. “Oh my God! Eagan, you have to—” I whipped around to insist that the captain do something, but all I found were his coat and boots on the deck where he’d been standing a moment earlier. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Eagan dive over the railing and into the icy water. Crewmen suddenly engulfed me, shouting to each other and pushing me away from the rail. Before I was shoved out of sight, I saw Eagan break the surface with one arm around Willie, who was sputtering and gasping for air. The sound of Stanton’s orders were stolen by the wind, but one the men tossed down a rope and hoisted them both up over the rail.

  I tried to run to Willie’s side, but was blocked by a short, thick sailor with a crooked nose that had clearly been broken at least once before. “He’ll need space to breathe, miss. I suggest that you wait in the captain’s quarters for him. I’ll tell him he can find you there.” Before I could protest, his hand clamped down on my arm like a bear trap and he hauled me off toward the captain’s room.

  “Let me go!” I yelled, trying to jerk free from his grasp, but he was too strong. Once we made it to the door, he reluctantly released my arm—which was sure to have a vicious bruise in the morning—and not-so-gently deposited me inside. “Stay here,” he ordered, then shut the door. The soft click that followed let me know I’d been locked inside.

  “Aaaargh!” I screamed to the room in general, but the pain in my throat reminded me of why I’d come upstairs in the first place. A full pitcher of water called to me from the captain’s nightstand, reminding me that I’d left mine out on the deck when Willie went overboard. I poured myself a glass and flopped down on the corner of the bed, unsure of what to do. How long would I be stuck in here? Was Willie okay? Was Eagan? Why did he do that? He just jumped into the sea without even thinking. He could have let him drown, but he didn’t. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Fortunately, I didn’t have long to wait.