Even In Darkness (Between)

by Cyndi Tefft

  A blush flamed in my cheeks at the unabashed lust and awe on his face. Part of me wanted to yell at him to stop staring at me while the other part wanted to see how he’d react if I dropped the towel altogether. Since I’ve already agreed to sleep with him, maybe we should cut to the chase and get this over with, I reasoned. But something held me back—shyness, perhaps—and I went with my first instinct instead.

  “What are you doing here?”

  Eagan’s eyes shot up to meet my own. He blinked rapidly, like he was emerging from a deep sleep. “It’s my chamber.”

  “Duh. I mean now. You knew I was in here bathing! Was that your plan? To lure me in with the bath and then burst in while I was naked?”

  “No!” He seemed truly discomposed, which was a first. “I apologize. I assumed you would be finished by now.”

  My pruney hands were proof that I’d lingered too long in the bath, so it wasn’t a completely outrageous assumption. Still, he needed to stop staring at me.

  “Well, I wasn’t. And if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get dressed.” I stood still, waiting for him to turn and leave.

  Instead, his face broke into a wide smile and my heart did this weird little jig. “Ah, you saw the dresses. Did you like them? I had them made especially for you while we were in town.”

  “They’re lovely, but geez, would you turn around already?” Holding my towel with one hand, I gestured in a shooing motion toward him.

  “Ah, right,” he replied, then dutifully turned to face the door.

  I know I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t keep my gaze from trailing south to admire his tight, firm butt. Those eighteenth-century trousers fit him like a second skin and what a skin it was. The towel slipped between my fingers and fluttered to the floor as I did my own staring. I might be married, but I’m not dead, I thought to myself. Well, actually, I am dead.

  Laughing to myself, I turned back to the armoire and pulled out the yellow day dress along with a clean linen shift, corset, stockings, and boots, then placed them on the bed.

  I sat on the bed to pull on my stockings, and one by one, rolled the silky fabric over my toes and up my legs. I kept an eye on Eagan the whole time, to make sure he wasn’t sneaking peeks, but he was still turned toward the door, his head angled slightly to one side. After I covered myself with the shift—which was really like a thin nightgown—I moved toward Eagan to let him know he could turn around, but my gaze fell on a small, brass-edged mirror attached to the wall. Eagan’s eyes met mine in the reflection and I realized he’d been watching me the entire time.

  Outraged, I grabbed a boot and flung it at his head. “You perv!”

  He dodged the boot easily, then turned to face me, grinning like the cat who swallowed the canary. He attempted a sheepish look, but he wasn’t fooling anyone. His delight was so infectious that I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “I can’t believe you! You were watching the whole time?”

  “No, not the whole time.” He took a step toward me, the mischief on his face giving way to something else I couldn’t quite read. My pulse started going crazy when he reached out and hooked one finger in the wet curls next to my cheek. “Lord in heaven, you are exquisite, ma chérie. Do you even know what you do to me?” His voice had a breathless quality to it as he trailed the back of his fingers down my neck and across my collarbone. “You’ve completely bewitched me like some mystical enchantress. With your silken hair and lush, sweet skin that could drive a man insane. I can’t form a rational thought when you’re near. Just standing there, watching you roll on your stockings, I…”

  His eyes darkened until they were nearly black. So different from Aiden’s and yet, I couldn’t deny the pull I felt toward him with every cell of my being. Something inside me yearned for this man. Something about him felt so right that I couldn’t reconcile it. I’d just come from Aiden’s bed and yet Eagan’s stare alone was turning me inside out, making me liquid with need. Unable to handle the intensity of his gaze, I dropped my eyes to the fullness of his bottom lip. His tongue snaked out and swept across it, leaving it wet and glistening. Without thinking, I leaned toward him, suddenly and inexplicably desperate for his kiss, desperate to touch him, but he pulled away at the last minute.

  He cleared his throat. The sound snapped me out of my hypnotic state. “It wasn’t right of me to watch you in the mirror, I know. But I couldn’t help myself. You are unbearably beautiful. Still, that’s no excuse for my ungentlemanly behavior, and I do hope you’ll forgive me.”

  Forgive him? Ungentlemanly behavior? I’d already agreed to sleep with him in exchange for Aiden and Willie’s lives, so it was outrageous he was trying to be a gentleman now. An irrational anger flared to life in my chest, overriding the sense of disappointment that had filled me when he’d pulled away.

  “Whatever,” I snapped. “You can do what you like. You’re the captain.” I brushed past him and grabbed my boot from where it had landed near the door. Fuming, I whirled on him. “You can go now.”

  “I need to help you with your corset.”

  Everything in me screamed to disagree with him, to tell him I could do it my own damn self, but he was right. “Fine.” Gritting my teeth, I stomped over to the armoire and yanked it out of one of the drawers. A disturbing realization struck me that I was acting like a spoiled brat who didn’t get her way, who didn’t get what she wanted. And what was it that I wanted so badly? The answer smacked me in the face.

  Him.

  The realization completely unnerved me. Even now, as I recognized the emotion inside me as hurt more than anger, I felt an impossible desire to run to him and throw myself at him. Holy crap, I needed to get a grip.

  Corset in hand, I flounced back to the bed and pressed the stays against my chest, waiting for him to yank the laces tight behind me. He swept my hair over my neck, out of the way, his fingers lightly brushing against my collarbone. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the shivers of desire that went tripping across my skin at his simple touch. He pulled the laces taut and stepped away to hand me the dress. It fit perfectly.

  Of course it did. He’d had it made especially for me. I’d never had clothes custom made for me. All my outfits came from department stores at the mall. And I recognized that handmade dresses were how they did things back then, so this was totally normal, but I couldn’t deny that it made me feel like a princess inside.

  “May I?” Eagan asked, holding out my boots and gesturing for me to sit on the bed. When I sat, he lifted my foot and slipped the shoe on. His fingertips slid along my calf, sending a bolt of electricity straight up my leg and under my skirt. Squirming, I pressed my thighs together.

  “I like the little bows on the sides of the boots,” I said lamely, trying to diffuse the sexual tension between us.

  “Mmm,” he responded as he reached for my other foot. “Is this your injured ankle?” When I nodded, he asked, “And how are you faring? Does it still pain you?”

  I shook my head, but he rotated my ankle to test its flexibility, making me wince. “Okay, maybe a little.”

  “As I feared,” he said with a frown as he finished lacing up my second boot. “You’ll need to stay on this level until it is healed. I won’t risk further injury by having you navigate the stairs.”

  I jumped to my feet, my hands immediately clenched into fists at my side. “You can’t do that! Aiden is down there!”

  Eagan stood up and crossed his arms over his chest, watching me with narrowed eyes. “So he is.”

  “I don’t care what you say. If he’s down there, so am I. Our deal was only for the nights, not for the days.” Smug, I threw a look at him that dared him to contradict me.

  He flinched at the mention of our deal, like it upset him somehow, then one eyebrow crooked up, accepting the challenge. “Right you are. Well, if you must be with your precious Aiden—”

  “I must.”

  “—then I suppose we’ll have to bring him up here.”

  “Wait, what?” Caught off
guard, I shook my head and blinked.

  Eagan shrugged. “It’s simple. Callison will bring him to the upper deck where he can stroll with you. I dare say the fresh air will improve his temperament.” A scowl flitted across his features so fast, I almost missed it, then he resumed his nonchalant air. “Then, when the night falls—or when you tire of his company, whichever comes first—he will go back to his room and you shall return here.”

  With a frown, I studied the formidable man across from me, trying to discern his angle, but my mind was doing cartwheels at the idea of Aiden being freed from his prison below—even if it was a much nicer room than he’d had on the battleship. Strolling along the deck with Aiden, hand in hand, taking in the sight of the vast ocean together? My heart raced at the thought. Still, Eagan was up to something—I could sense it—so I simply gave him a half shrug.

  “Fine. If that’s what you want.” I crossed to the nightstand beside the bed and grabbed the brush lying there. Laughter erupted from behind me, making me whirl to give Eagan a glare, which only made him laugh harder. “Shut up! What’s so funny?”

  “You,” he said, his smile softening to a teasing, affectionate smirk.

  “What about me?”

  “You’re adorable,” he said, taking the brush from my hands and turning me so he had access to my hair. He dropped the brush onto the bed and instead, worked his fingers through my damp curls. Tingles broke out over my skin as he massaged my scalp with light pressure, circling my temples and leading me into a seductive trance. A moan nearly escaped me, but I turned it into a cough instead. Lifting my hair, then letting it fall through his hands like water, he whispered, “Mervelleiux. Comme un rêve.”

  The French words on his lips weakened my knees so that I had to lean against him. His hand circled my waist, pulling me flush against his hard length. His warm breath feathered across the skin behind my ear, sending my heart into overdrive. My mind rebelled at his use of French—I’d told him not to do that, dammit—but my body was a traitor, arching against him in invitation.

  “Mmm… we should go,” he said, taking a step back. The sudden absence of his warmth against my back made me feel more naked and exposed than I had when I was wearing only a towel. “It’s a lovely day out today. The afternoon sunshine will help to dry your locks.” When I turned, he held out an arm, crooked at the elbow in old-fashioned style. “Come, ma chérie. Permit me to give you a formal tour of the upper deck. I may even let you steer the ship, if you’re so inclined.”

  I wanted to argue that the daytimes belonged to Aiden and that I wasn’t his until night, but I decided to leave that battle for another day. Besides, I couldn’t bear going back to Aiden only to have to leave him again in another hour or two. The last time I left, he’d nearly come unglued. My eyes closed in torment as I remembered promising him I’d be right back. A tortured groan rolled around in my chest. Eagan’s fingers laced with mine, and gave a little tug to get my attention.

  The look on his face was one I’d seen so many times before: the one that Aiden usually gave me right before he said, “Dinna fash, lass.” My head swam with confusion, waiting to hear the words from Eagan’s mouth, but instead he said, “I’ll send word to your husband that he can join you above deck in the morn.”

  Dazed and weary of the battering ram of emotions inside me, I nodded and followed him out.

  ***

  That night, when we’d finished the tour and returned to the captain’s quarters, my heart was in my throat. I was so nervous, I felt like I was going to throw up, but when Eagan helped me off with my corset and dress, leaving me in my thin shift, he just pulled back the covers of the bed and waited for me to climb in. Then he leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead.

  “Bonne nuit, Lindsey,” he whispered, wishing me good night. Then he turned and walked across the room to the settee next to the armoire. He shrugged out of his coat, then pulled off his boots. After turning down the oil lamp so it was nothing more than a dim flicker of light, he extracted a blanket from a chest in the corner. He curled up on the small sofa under the blanket and faced me. I could feel his eyes on me like a physical touch, but he didn’t say anything. The silence crackled between us as I tried desperately to figure out what game he was playing. I’d agreed to sleep with him and it wasn’t like he didn’t want me—I knew that for a fact—so what was he doing sleeping on the couch? Relief, disappointment, and confusion warred within me until I couldn’t take it anymore.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, the sound of my voice like a pistol shot in the stillness of the darkened room.

  “Attempting to sleep. As should you,” he replied.

  “But what about our deal?” I tried to dial back the irritated tone of my voice and failed.

  His chest rose and fell as he took a deep breath. “You agreed to sleep in my bed in exchange for the lives of two men. I have honored my side, now honor yours. Sleep.”

  I bolted upright and stared at him, my jaw hanging open. With a shake of his head, he set aside the blanket and got to his feet, padding across the floor in his socks. When he reached my side of the bed, he sat down, the mattress sinking so that I leaned into him. The backs of his fingers brushed across my cheek and down my jaw.

  “Contrary to what you might think of me, I would never take a woman against her will.” His gaze settled on my mouth, sending my pulse skittering. He leaned forward, inching closer and closer, never taking his eyes from my lips, until I could feel his breath on my face. “So you have nothing to fear,” he whispered before his mouth touched mine. His kiss was testing, patient, and driving me completely insane. When his tongue swept across the seam of my lips, I felt it clear to my bones. My hands reached out to him, needing to pull him closer, needing to escalate things before I spontaneously combusted from nervous anticipation, but he grabbed my wrists and pressed my palms to his chest. His heart thundered beneath my hands.

  “There, I’ve kissed you good night. Now sleep,” he said, his voice deep and thick.

  My body protested when he stood and returned to his place on the settee, but my mind whirled at the change in events. Twisting away and burrowing under the covers, I tried to force my thoughts to Aiden and failed. No, I told myself, don’t think of Aiden as he is now. Think of the Aiden back home, the one who lived with his own guilt and pain for three hundred years instead of the one knee-deep in it right now. The one who knows me better than I know myself. The one I took with me over that snow-crusted cliff. An ache of longing for that Aiden surged within me, bringing a tidal wave of tears with it. Pressing my face into the pillow, I muffled the tears I could not contain, not wanting Eagan to hear, but knowing he probably could anyway.

  It seemed that even when I got my way, I still wasn’t happy. Maybe this wasn’t Between after all. Maybe this was hell.

  Chapter 14

  It didn’t take me long to figure out what Eagan stood to gain from allowing Aiden to come above deck. Fresh air, my ass. No, Eagan knew exactly what he was doing when he oh-so-generously decreed that Aiden could stroll outside with me. The two of us never had another moment alone. The privacy we’d had in Aiden’s room—even if Callison had been listening outside the door—vanished like the sun dipping into the ocean at twilight. Dozens of pairs of eyes watched our every move as Eagan’s crewmen went about their business, running the ship. And instead of the sunshine reviving Aiden’s spirits, he seemed to grow more and more agitated as the days stretched into weeks. Eagan studiously avoided us during the day, though every time Aiden caught a glimpse of the captain, he acted like a pit bull on a short leash, baring his teeth in a snarl. And since we never got a moment alone, I couldn’t pull him aside and tell him to get a grip. I knew he was starting to lose it, but I had no idea how close he was until the day that everything turned for the worse.

  I’d finished having breakfast with Eagan and was standing along the ship’s railing, running my fingers back and forth over its smooth, polished surface and waiting for Callison to bring Aid
en up from below when a commotion made me turn. Callison came bounding out of the hallway, gasping like a fish on the shore and pressing a fist to his side. Eagan raced across the deck and laid a hand on his shoulder.

  “What is it?”

  “He…he’s gone,” Callison replied between labored breaths. “Sneaky bastard must’ve kept the door from latching and snuck out when I wasn’t looking! The room is empty.”

  With a flick of his wrist and a ground out curse, the captain had a search party at his side and awaiting his instructions within seconds. He barked orders to the men to search every inch of the ship, then he took off with Callison down the hall without a backwards glance. Gripped with horror, I stood frozen in place for a moment, but the sight of a pistol in the hands of one of the sailors who ran past brought me to my senses.

  They were hunting Aiden. With guns.

  I had to find him first.

  The majority of the crew had gone to the starboard side, so I went in the opposite direction, praying like crazy and half-expecting to hear gunshots any second. “Oh, God. Oh, God. Please keep him safe.” I whipped open every closed door I passed and scanned each room, the fear twisting inside me so tight that I could barely breathe. “Aiden, where are you?” I yelled frantically as I progressed deeper into the belly of the ship. A muffled, scraping sound emanated from a doorway at the end of the hall, and I raced toward it, my heart going a million miles a minute.

  “Aiden, are you—” I began as I pushed the door open, but what I saw made my breakfast come shooting up into my throat. I pressed a hand to my lips to force it down, shaking my head in denial at the scene in front of me.

  Señor Delgado’s body lay sprawled out on the floor. Blood poured from his slit throat. His glassy eyes stared up at Aiden, who crouched in front of him like a rabid animal, clutching a dripping dagger. Aiden whirled around to face me, his eyes ferocious and wild, filled with pain.