Shouldn't Want You (Cataclysm Book 2)

by Jerica MacMillan

  She gives me a cool look. “You needed something?”

  With a low growl that I try to keep from being audible, I stand and turn to face her. “Yes. I need your help unpacking Eli.”

  She arches one eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest. “Somehow I doubt that. You insisted on doing it all yourself in Seattle.”

  “Yes. But you packed all his things this time. I don’t want to mess it up.”

  Her expression tells me she’s not buying my excuses for a minute, but she steps into the living room anyway, stopping next to Eli’s luggage and crouching down to talk to Eli, who runs over to give her a hug like he hasn’t seen her in years instead of just a half an hour.

  I can’t blame him, though. If I could, I’d be wrapping myself around her right now too.

  “Which room is yours?” she asks him.

  He grabs her hand and starts dragging her toward one of the bedrooms before she can even stand back up. She falls on her ass, laughing. “Hang on, hang on. You gotta let me stand up.”

  And just like that, the tension hanging in the air is broken. I still want to claim her, trap her in my bed, not let her go out with Blaire tonight, but I can breathe again with her here, laughing and playing with my son.

  It takes longer than I’d like to get her alone, because Eli keeps bouncing around, wanting to help unpack his suitcases. He eventually gets distracted when we get to his toys, though, and I convince him to take his blocks out to the living room.

  After getting him set up, and turning on a show just to be sure he’ll stay put for a while, I head back into his bedroom and push the door most of the way closed. “That kid has more luggage than the both of us combined.”

  “He needs more to keep him entertained. Since he’s the only one on the tour that’s not working.” She doesn’t even look at me while she says that, just continuing to unpack the last of his things, moving efficiently around the room to store clothes in the closet and dresser, a stack of books on the bedside table for convenient bedtime reading, toys in an out-of-the-way corner so Eli can get to them when he wants, his favorite stuffed bear tucked amongst the pillows on the bed.

  The next time she moves past me, I snag her by the arm and whirl her to face me. Her hands land on my chest, her fingers curling into my shirt. But her arms are stiff, like she’s torn between pulling me close and pushing me away. Her chest rises and falls with her breathing, and her eyes are bright when they meet mine. “What are you doing?”

  I don’t know. It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t say it. Because nothing about this—her—is planned. I hired her to take care of Eli. But now there’s so much more between us. She’s spent the last three nights cuddled against me, even if the first night she scampered back to her room in the middle of the night.

  Now, though, I feel like she’s trying to put distance between us. Distance that hasn’t been there when it’s just the two of us, or just the three of us during the day, even if she won’t kiss me in front of Eli.

  And I don’t like it. At all.

  While I don’t have a clear plan about what the future might hold, I’m sure as shit willing to find out. She’s with us for the long haul, as far as I’m concerned. To hell with whatever barriers she’s trying to put up again.

  I step closer, and she doesn’t stiff-arm me, her head tipping back so she can maintain eye contact.

  My hands drop to her hips, like they belong there. Because they fucking do. I shake my head before answering her question. “That’s what I want to ask you. What’s going on? You’ve been weird since this morning.”

  She darts a look over my shoulder at the cracked open door and answers in a whisper. “Eli’s just in the other room. He could walk back in any second.”

  “I don’t care if Eli sees me touching you.”

  Her mouth hardens. “Well I care. We just had this conversation a few hours ago.”

  I swallow another growl. “We did. But the door’s closed, and Eli’s occupied with his toys and a show. We have long enough for you to tell me why you’re acting like this.”

  She steps back and spreads her hands. “Like what? Like your son’s nanny? Because that’s what I am. You said you wanted help unpacking his things. I’m unpacking his things. What else do you want from me?”

  Crowding her, I wrap my arms around her and pull her against my chest. “I want you to tell Blaire you’re not interested in finding some other guy tonight. I want to tell everyone that we’re together so she’ll stop trying to set you up and so Mason and Aaron stop making comments about seeing if you’d be open to joining their little group of fuck buddies.”

  Her eyes flash, something like triumph crossing her face before it morphs into confusion. “Wait, what? Mason and Aaron have a group of fuck buddies?”

  “That’s what you got out of what I just said?”

  She shakes her head, a smile tipping the corners of her mouth. “No.” Her hand comes up to cup my cheek, and I turn to place a kiss on her palm. “What I got is that you’re possessive and grumpy. But even if Blaire tries to set me up with someone, that doesn’t mean I’m obligated to do anything with a random stranger. Even if we weren’t together, that would be true.”

  “So you admit it? That we’re together?” I hate broadcasting my own insecurity, but I need to hear her say it. I need to know we’re on the same page. That she’s at least willing to see where things go, give us a shot. A real shot. I’ll go slow, keep things on the down low for now—I won’t fucking like it, but I’ll do it—as long as I know we’re headed in the same direction.

  Her irritation with me is almost totally gone now. “Yes. I’ve slept in your room the last few nights. I’ve let you explore every inch of my body. I don’t do that with someone I’m not in a relationship with.”

  “Damn right, you don’t.” Her words ease the knot of tension in my chest that tightened when Blaire declared she was taking Ava out to get laid tonight.

  “I’ll make it clear to Blaire that I’m not interested in hooking up with a random guy, but I can’t guarantee she won’t still push guys my way. Even if she does, I’m going to be coming back here to you.” As she speaks, her hands slide up over my shoulders and behind my neck.

  My arms tighten behind her back, and all I can get out is a muttered, “That’s fucking right, you are,” before my mouth is covering hers. I lose myself in her kiss, leaving behind all my irritation and frustration about her desire to keep our relationship under wraps in favor of the feel of her lips parting, her tongue sliding against mine as I taste her mouth, her body pressing against me, the soft skin of her lower back under my palms as I slip my hands under her T-shirt.

  Eli’s voice rings out in the quiet as he shouts something at the TV, and Ava jumps back, shoving me away, her eyes wide as she runs a finger beneath her lower lip. She’s breathing as hard as I am, and her nipples are hard beneath the fabric of her shirt. I wonder if having nipples hard enough to cut glass is as uncomfortable as the giant boner pressing against my zipper.

  She shakes her head slowly, her eyes never leaving me, and for a half a second I think she’s answering my unspoken question. “You promised we wouldn’t do this in front of Eli,” she whispers.

  I shrug, unrepentant. “And I already told you he’s not in the room.”

  She narrows her eyes at me and straightens her shirt. I smirk when she quickly crosses her arms over her chest after looking down and noticing her nipples.

  She holds up a finger like she’s scolding a little kid. “Don’t.”

  I hold up my hands, my smirk turning into a full-blown grin. “What? I didn’t do anything.”

  With a cute little growl of frustration, she spins and flips the lids closed on Eli’s empty suitcases, zipping them shut and stowing them in his closet. Then she props her hands on her hips and looks me over. “There. Eli’s unpacked. Are we done?”

  “Fuck no. I’m nowhere near done with you.”

  She wiggles her mouth side to side, fighting down th
e smile that wants to break free. But the sparkle in her eyes gives it away. “Be that as it may, you’ll have to wait until later tonight. Is there anything else you need me to do for Eli?”

  “No. But stay anyway?”

  “Are you asking or telling?”

  “Asking.”

  She gives me another long, searching look. “Okay.”

  Chapter Thirty

  Ava

  After dinner, my phone goes off with a text from Blaire. Where are you?

  I text her back Danny’s room number. Within minutes she’s banging on the door like she’ll break it down if we don’t answer immediately.

  Danny gets up off the couch, where we’re lounging and watching a show, the remains of dinner on the coffee table in front of us, Eli still grabbing bites every so often between playing with his cars and planes.

  When he pulls the door open, Blaire pushes past him and marches to the couch. “You work her way too hard, dude,” she tosses at Danny as she grabs me by the arm and starts pulling. “Up,” she says to me. “Time to get ready. You’ve got the rest of the night off.” She points at Danny. “No texting with emergencies. You want company, get your bros in here to watch TV with you. No more cockblocking Ava.”

  I turn to see Danny fighting between a glower and forcing a laugh to make it seem like he’s not bothered by me going out given Blaire’s stated intentions for the night. “Pretty sure Ava doesn’t have a cock to get blocked.” Points to Danny for that not coming out more sullen.

  Blaire doesn’t seem to notice him acting any different than his usual self, though, because she just snorts. “Fine. Clam jam, then.” She waves a hand at him. “Whatever you wanna call it, no more doing it. You don’t get to monopolize all her time just because you pay her bills. Maybe she wants some other hot dude to pay the rest of her bills. You ever think of that?”

  I swear I can hear Danny’s molars grinding, but all he does is grunt. I pull my arm free of Blaire’s grip long enough to ruffle Eli’s hair and get a high five before I go. “See you later,” I say to Danny as Blaire ushers me to the door.

  He opens his mouth and takes a breath, and I can see him changing his mind about what to say. Finally he just mutters, “Later,” and then we’re out the door.

  “Oh my god,” Blaire says in exasperation as we walk down the hall to my room. “Could he be any more moody? It’s like he’s annoyed that you’re getting to have some fun instead of just being chained in his room to help with Eli. I mean, I get that that’s your job and all, but even I get time off to have fun.”

  I have to suppress a laugh—and a delicious little shiver—at the thought of Danny having me chained up in his room. Blaire has no idea how right she is, but not for the reason she thinks.

  Instead I shrug. “He’s not so bad. And I don’t mind hanging out with him and Eli, even if it’s technically my off time.”

  Blaire cuts a look at me like she’s having a hard time believing me. She pats me on the shoulder while she waits for me to let us into my room. “It’s okay, Ava. This is a safe place. You can tell me if he just growls at you the entire time you’re around him. It’s what he does with everyone.”

  This time I do laugh as I push open the door to my room. “He’s not that bad.”

  Walking in, Blaire takes a look around at the spotless room, her eyebrows raised. “Wow. Are you like a neat freak or something?” She crosses her arms and studies me. “Your room was messier in LA. This place looks like you haven’t even lived in it.”

  Shrugging, I head for the closet to find the dress I wore last time to cover my lie. “I like to pick up my things before housekeeping comes.”

  I’m already pulling out the dress I wore when we went out in LA when she finally follows me into the bedroom and flops on the bed. “I always put out the Do Not Disturb sign. We’re never anywhere long enough for me to want anyone coming in just to make my bed. I can hang up my own towels. And I like leaving my stuff everywhere.” She looks at me, giving me another squinty look. “I think you might be a little bit crazy. It’s okay, though. I still like you.”

  “Ha. Thanks. I think.”

  She rolls over and props her face on her hand, giving me a big grin. “You’re welcome. And don’t worry about it. We’re all a little bit crazy, so you fit right in.”

  When she sees the dress in my hand, she pushes herself up to sitting. “You’re going to wear that again?”

  I look down at the dress still on the hanger in my hand, then back at her, trying to decipher her expression. “Yeah? I don’t really have anything else. Unless leggings and a T-shirt work? Or skinny jeans.”

  She presses her lips together and sighs. “No. We’re dressing up. If that’s all you have, then wear it again. But we’re going shopping soon. Or I’ll call up a store and have something delivered. This won’t be the last time we go out, so you need options.” She hops off the bed. “Come on. Grab your shoes, and let’s head to my room. You can change there, and then I’ll do your makeup.”

  Despite Blaire ordering Danny not to text me, he does anyway. But it’s not with manufactured emergencies.

  God, I wish you were here. Marcus and Aaron are and they’re so much more disgusting than you are.

  I stifle a giggle when I see that one, but biting my lip does nothing to hide my smile. Does that mean you find me a little disgusting?

  Come back and I’ll show you how disgusting I think you are.

  Warmth washes through me, lingering in my lower belly and between my legs.

  I’m just about to type a response, when my phone is swiped out of my hands

  “Hey!” Panic shoots through me as Blaire holds up my phone, the screen facing me.

  She gives me a glare, but just holds the button down to turn it off, and doesn’t look at the screen until it’s gone black. Relief mixed with the panic and alcohol already in my bloodstream is enough to make me feel sick.

  “I told him to leave you alone,” she says. “We’re here to find you a man!” She clinks her shot glass with Kendra to punctuate her declaration, then slides my phone back to me across the high top table. “Come on, ladies. Drink up!” She raises her glass into the air before knocking it back in one swallow. “Then we need to do a lap and scope out the most likely candidates.”

  I shake my head. “Seriously, Blaire. I told you when we were getting ready. I’m not looking for a man.”

  Blaire pouts. “Why not? Are you still pining after a boy you left in college?”

  “Ha! Not even close.” Any pining I might’ve done for Grayson was thoroughly killed off when he left me to the wolves in sheep’s clothing that is the university administration. But that was another lifetime.

  Leaning her arm on the table, Blaire studies me. “Not even close? Does that mean you’re into chicks?”

  I almost choke on my vodka cranberry, and Kendra pats me helpfully on the back. “Leave her alone, Blaire. Maybe she had a bad relationship and isn’t ready for anything right now. Maybe she doesn’t want to have sex with a stranger just because you’ve decided she should. Maybe she’s on her period.”

  I nod along to all of Kendra’s reasons, pausing a beat, but nodding even more enthusiastically about the last one. I’m not, but that’s entirely beside the point.

  Blaire sighs dramatically. “You guys are no fun.”

  With a shout of laughter, Kendra pushes Blaire toward the dance floor. “We can still do a lap and scope out guys if you want. But unless you’ve decided you need a change of pace, none of us are taking anyone home. And that’s okay. I thought this was girls’ night anyway.”

  Blaire snags my arm and drags me after her, and I follow her and Kendra onto the dance floor, drink in hand, my phone tucked into my bra. I’ll turn it back on when Blaire’s not paying attention and text Danny back later. That thought is enough to put a smile back on my face.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Danny

  There’s a little tap at the door, and then Ava lets herself in.

&n
bsp; “Shh,” she says with a giggle when the door slams closed.

  I stand from the couch and intercept her where she’s stumbling a little in her heels, a smile pulling at my mouth. “Are you drunk?”

  She shakes her head, then flails an arm out when she starts to sway again. I catch her arm and steady her. She holds up her other hand, her fingers pinched together. “Maybe just a little.”

  I can’t help chuckling at her. “Come on, let’s go sit. I’ll get you some water.”

  With my arm around her waist, she makes it to the couch without incident. But instead of letting me go get her water like I said, she pulls my face to hers and parts her lips as soon as mine make contact.

  If I were a stronger man, I’d give her a quick kiss and go get that water. But I’m not. Not where she’s concerned. If I were a stronger man, I wouldn’t have ever started anything with her to begin with. I’ll be damned if I give her up now that she’s mine, though.

  And from the way she’s kissing me, the way her hands are sliding to my shoulders and down my chest, she doesn’t want to give me up either. Which is just the way I want her.

  Getting down on my knees in front of her, I slide my hands up her thighs, pushing her dress up and out of the way. She scoots closer, her thighs wrapping around my torso as she curls herself around me, kissing me with a desperate urgency I haven’t experienced before.

  I run my hands over her body. I can’t get enough of her, and her urgency spurs on my own. Stroking her thighs, grabbing her ass, running my hands up her back, I eventually make my way to cupping her face like she’s cupping mine, but I manage to pull back. Just a little.

  She doesn’t want to let me go, her mouth chasing mine. I give in and kiss her again, sinking my tongue into her mouth, diving into her kiss. The taste of her, the way she wants me is the best high I’ve ever experienced.