First Kiss (Heavy Influence)

by Frohoff, Ann Marie

  “Why’s your mom’s a bitch?” I asked shocked.

  “No! Duh, Rachel.” He plopped onto the bed. “She’s too much. I’m glad it’s out in the open, how lame she is, no matter what I told her, she still thought you were here.”

  “Well, I was...am….you know what they say about women’s intuition.”

  He lifted his head from the pillow and leered at me. “Don’t be a smart ass. It’s not like she’s my girlfriend. She’s been my friend for a long time and helps out with the band stuff a lot. We hang, but not like we’re together.”

  “So, you don’t think you could be leading her on? I mean, sorry to point it out, but you kinda acted like you cared when she came over earlier. You know, making excuses and trying to make her feel better about me being here.”

  His arms fell heavy against the mattress; “I see why she would think I like her like that then. I mean I do, but not like that. That was a long time ago, when I thought I was interested. Then with her freaking out about you and acting all territorial n’shit? I mean, she doesn’t even fucking know you!” He gestured his hand at me. “She’s lame.”

  “Tell her to beat it then.”

  “Yeah, right, it’s not gonna be that easy.”

  I looked out the back door and walked over to it. I stared at the far end of the backyard. I wondered if the gate still worked. My dad had installed a gate so we could easily go from yard to yard when we were younger.

  “Hey, is that gate still working?” I walked out the door. There were a couple of palm trees and other plants that blocked the path.

  “I’m sure it does, we didn’t do anything to it. I forgot it was there.” He walked in front of me, rooting through the palms and unlatched it, pushing on it. He struggled with it a bit, and it finally opened.

  I eked with excitement, jumping up and down, “Yay,” I smiled. Jake raised his hand for me to give him a high-five. I squeezed through and was wedged against him for a moment. I felt that shock again when we touched and I loved it.

  “Well, this is gonna make things interesting,” he whispered.

  “This is gonna make this interesting.” – I heard it, like he shouted it out loud. What was that supposed to mean? My head spun. I turned back and hugged him, I couldn’t help myself.

  “Jake, thanks so much, fun times.” I took a deep breath through my nose to smell him one last time. His face pressed against my hair and neck, I could have stayed frozen there forever.

  “Mmm, you smell good. Your hair smells like strawberries.” He let me go and I almost passed out after hearing his words.

  “I was just thinking the same thing. You smell good too. I’ll talk to you later,” I whispered loudly. I was numb from my excitement.

  “Hey, if you’re not doing anything later, you wanna come back and watch a movie?”

  “Sure, if I’m not in trouble for something.” I waved goodbye. “Probably sometime after nine.”

  I opened the back door and my mom smiled. “Well, hello.” She came out from behind the counter to hug me, and then grabbed my shoulders, holding me at arm’s length. “You have a nice glow, what have you been up to?”

  She went back to chopping veggies and my dad brushed by me with a beer in hand without a word.

  “Hi, Dad,” I waved with false excitement.

  “Hello my dear.” He collapsed into his chair and turned on the TV. That was the extent of our relationship.

  “I’ve actually been hanging out with Jake today.” I beamed.

  “Is that right? And what’s Jake been up to these days,” my mom asked, carefully placing each foil wrapped potato in the oven.

  “You know he has a band, right?” I said. “He practices every day, you must hear it.”

  “Yes, I hear it on the weekends. I suppose he plays before we get home from work.” She turned, grabbing a bottle of red wine, filling her glass. I wondered what wine tasted like. I remembered Jake saying that he drank beer. I hadn’t tasted any alcohol yet.

  “Mom, can I have a taste of that? I’m just curious what the big deal is, I mean you drink it every night.”

  With a wary eye, she handed her glass to me without saying a word. I smelled it and took a sip and gagged. “Uh, thanks but no thanks, it’s like fire going down my throat. Why do you drink that?”

  I walked to the sink, sticking my mouth under the faucet.

  “I drink because I like it; it’s an acquired taste. All wines taste differently. It relaxes me after a long day of work, and it’s good for my heart. That is why I drink it, in moderation.”

  “Including moderation itself,” my father weaseled in and my mom rolled her eyes.

  “What does beer taste like then? I hate the smell of beer.”

  “I don’t like it either. Go ask your father for a sip. Frank, give Aly a sip of your beer, she’s curious.”

  My father held up the bottle of beer over his head, without a word, no fight, nothing. I walked over and took a sip just as my brother rounded the corner coming down the stairs.

  “What, you let her drink, but not me?” he grabbed the beer from my hand and took a long swig.

  “God dammit, Kyle!” my father roared. “We know what you get into, give it back to her.” He handed me back the beer.

  “Geez, calm down, sorry,” he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes were wide. I stuck my tongue out at him and he flipped me off. “What’s she doin’ with it then?”

  “She’s not drinking, Kyle,” Mom explained. “She’s tasting, she was curious.”

  “Yeah, and I’m a girl,” he guffawed. “I’m calling her bullshit.”

  I handed the beer back to my father and turned, punching my brother right in the gut.

  “Ok, you two,” my mom said dryly. “Stop it”

  “What, you’re not gonna punish her? If I woulda’ done that you woulda’ grounded me!”

  “Kyle, that’s enough,” my dad growled. “We were having a nice moment and you come down here stirring the pot.”

  Kyle glared at me.

  “Kyle, I swear I’ve never had one drink,” I assured him.

  He looked at me cautiously. “Whatever,” He said under his breath, and mouthed “BEEEAAATCH” to my face. I flipped him off in return.

  “What’s for dinner?” he asked and shoved me out of the way as he passed into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and rummaged around.

  “Close the door, Kyle. I’m making artichoke dip and we’re having steak and baked potatoes.”

  She poured a bag of corn chips into a bowl. Kyle walked over, took a handful and stuffed a few in his mouth. What a pig, I thought. I took stock of Kyle. Sure he was cute, for being my brother. No wonder he and Jake grew a part, he’d become a total polo shirt wearing nerd. A pang of guilt came over me for thinking that, but he was, plain and simple. One day he would find a nerd girl to share his nerd life with.

  We sat to eat and my sister barely said a word. She was attached to her phone throughout dinner, like always. Which reminded me, I never called Nicole. “Mom, anyone, did I get any calls?” I looked around the table.

  Finally Allison looked up as she took another bite of food, “No, but your chicks came over looking for you and your phone kept ringing. Where were you anyway?” She spoke as she chewed her food.

  “I was next door at Jake’s, he was teaching me to play the guitar and we were talking about his music.”

  I said all those words on purpose. I wanted Allison to know. In my own way I wanted to feel like I was one-upping her. I could feel her staring at me and didn’t want to look at her. I looked at Kyle instead. He was head down in his plate. Mom and dad were talking quietly and, just as I thought, Allison was staring at me with an obtuse grin. About a year ago she used to have the hot’s for Jake, until she got another guy to like her.

  “Really, is that right?” Her condescending tone rang through my ears.

  I didn’t want to stare at her. She would see right through me and try to knock me down. Nope, I was gonna eat
my dinner, wait for everyone to go to sleep and then I was gonna to go back over to Jake’s house, via the secret route, and watch movies with him. No one would know. After 9pm, mom and dad would be locked in their room. Kyle would be gone like usual and who knows what Allison would be into. I was always locked away in my room after 9pm, or at Nicole’s house.

  “Can I be excused?” I said loudly.

  “Sure.” My father spoke quickly looking back at my mother.

  I grabbed my plate and walked into the kitchen. I heard Allison ask to be excused too. I rushed to rinse my plate. I wanted to leave before she got to the kitchen, but it was no good. I felt her standing behind me.

  “So, Aly. Tell me about Jake.”

  “What’s to tell, you know what he’s been into, right?” I didn’t want to come off as too cocky, but I couldn’t’ help myself.

  “Yeah, but he never asked me to hang out at his house and listen to his music, or teach me to play the guitar.”

  She wanted the dirt, but I wouldn’t budge. I would never let her know how I felt about Jake.

  “Well, did you ask him to teach you to play the guitar?” I could feel her eyes raking me up and down.

  “Uh…no.” Her sarcastic tone returned. “Did you?”

  “Not exactly, I only said it’s something I’ve wanted to learn, and he offered.”

  “Oh, I see. I’m sure he felt obligated.”

  I really hated how she treated me and I was glad she was jealous. Moments went by and I continued to do the dishes hoping she would leave because I was running out of dishes to wash.

  “You wanna hand me your plate?”

  “You know Aly, you better be careful,” her tone changed. It almost sounded like she cared. “Boys like Jake only want one thing, and a fresh like you is just what’s on the menu.”

  My stomach sank. What was she saying? I thought of all the stories Greg would tell us late at night in Nicole’s back yard about his brothers hooking up with chicks. It made my stomach turn. But I couldn’t talk to Allison, she wasn’t trustworthy. She would sell me out to my parent’s for sure.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I glared at her. My hand dropped to my side, dripping water onto the floor. She made me sick. What kind of sister would really be jealous of her younger sibling? But it was always that way. She would always try to be the best, to out shine me, to be a bitch.

  She sighed, hedging on her words, choosing carefully. Then she looked me in the eyes. “Aly, I’m serious. I’m not trying to be the mean big sister. Guys like Jake only want one thing, and once they get it, its dump city. There are other things you need to be concerned with too, so just be careful.”

  I was finally alone in the kitchen. I looked at the clock. 8pm. I went to the couch to get my bag and noticed Jake’s shirt laying there. I picked it up and stuffed it back in my bag before digging for my phone. I dialed Nicole’s number.

  “Hey, it’s me,” I whispered. I dreaded talking to her.

  “Where the hell have you been? We’ve been waiting for you all day. Nadine is freaking out. We hung out on the corner, waiting for you to show up. Jake never came out of his house. We knocked on your door at 4pm and your sister said you weren’t home”.

  “I was home. I was sleeping, I didn’t feel well.” I didn’t want to lie but I felt like I had to. I wanted to tell her, but I just couldn’t.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. Are you feeling better?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine now. I think it’s just the heat.”

  “Okay, are you coming over tomorrow? Matt’s gonna be home, so you know he’ll be over here.”

  This perked my interest. “Yeah, I’ll be over.”

  “Ok, see you tomorrow. Oh, and call Nadine, she’s comin’ outta her skin to know what went down with Jake.”

  “Sure. See ya tomorrow.” I hung up the phone, unsure of what to feel. Matt was gonna be home. Normally I would be excited. But I only thought of Jake and watched the minutes tick by as I waited for my parents to tuck in.

  I decided to take a shower. I normally took showers in the morning, but since I was going to Jake’s I wanted to feel good. Why should this be any different than all the other times we watched movies together? Yeah right, whom was I kidding? I liked him now that was the difference. This wasn’t the same – at least not for me.

  9pm rolled around quicker than I wanted it too. I was nervous. I heard my parents disappear into their bedroom. I brushed my damp hair and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. My sister was just getting out of the shower.

  “What are you doing tonight?” I asked, trying to sound casual.

  “Like you care?” She sniffed and didn’t offer any info.

  Why did she have to be so lame? Kyle was gone, thank God. Back in my room I closed the door behind me. I stared at myself in the mirror once more. I wore black cotton shorts and a black tank top. Simple but flattering enough, I thought. I put on lip-gloss and I stared at my chest. I pulled down my tank top a little lower, just like Nadine did. Ugh, what was I doing? There was no way I’d ever look that big unless I got a boob job – and that certainly wasn’t going to happen.

  I heard my sister shut her door and she immediately started talking loudly. I turned off my light and turned on my TV. I messed up my bed and gently shut my door, making my way down the stairs and out into the warm night air.

  Jake must have heard me struggling with the gate, because he was standing at the door, waiting for me. I felt like I was dreaming. I never believed my life could change so quickly. It’s like I had no choice. It was as if fate had the reigns and I was just along for the ride.

  7

  Jake

  When I watched Aly go back into her house while I hid at our “secret entrance,” it really started to hit me that she was unlike any of the girls I knew. I dug her – completely. Making my way back into my room I sat in front of my computer and opened my email. I glanced over the messages Rachel told me about. More dates for local shows before we leave on tour. I wasn’t sure if we could pull any of them off. I brought up my calendar in attempt to figure out the timing of everything but my mood was strange.

  I felt empty inside and I couldn’t focus. I knew right away it was because of Aly. Liking her was the last thing I needed. I didn’t need any distractions in my life. The thing with Rachel was gonna be enough for me to handle, but there I sat, wondering if Aly was really going to come back.

  I wasn’t in the mood to work. I lay on my bed and watched the time tick by before finally turning on the TV, which did nothing to distract me from my thoughts of her. I should have gotten her phone number. What if her parents caught her sneaking out? I wondered if she really had the balls to go through with it. Who knew what girls tried to get away with at that age. Ugh, that was another thing – her age.

  As always, my acoustic guitar came to my rescue. It stared at me from the corner of my room, perched perfectly in its stand, calling to me. Grabbing it I sat on my bed, tracing my fingers across its smooth wooden contours. I thought about Rachel and Aly, comparing them to each other. Thoughts began to flood my brain and I grew anxious. I felt bad about Rachel, regardless of her personality flaws. I told myself not to waste my time worrying about her. What would be would be. My mind twisted back to Aly and thoughts began to get the best of me. I wondered what it would mean if she did show up. I thought about how soft she felt when I hugged her at the gate, and the way her hair smelled. I liked how clean she was. She wasn’t sticky and made up like all the others.

  I pictured Aly creeping down the stairs, out of her house and into my room. For a brief second I wondered if she’d wanna make out. I quickly pushed it from my mind, reminding myself what she was to me. She was my kid next-door neighbor, or at least she used to be, the few years’ age difference shouldn’t matter now. Besides, I told myself, she probably wouldn’t show.

  I began to strum a tune and the words began to flow – grabbing a pad of paper, I had the whole song written in less than an hour:

  TRAN
SPOSE

  Sleepless nights aren't new to me

  All these thoughts are killing me

  Someone come and put me to ease

  All of my anxiety

  There's no cause that I can see

  What's this scratching at my brain

  And I can't stop

  even if I wanted to

  It's up top

  Maybe I'm simply deluded

  That's right

  Here I am just wasting my time

  All my time

  And it's hard to justify what you can do

  I'm so sick and tired of falling through

  It's true, Maybe I've been wasting my time

  All this time

  Come creeping, no one can hear you now

  I listen, so you can show me how

  There's something that I'm missing here

  Softly, stab my evil dreams

  Faster, help me fall asleep

  Come close, I don't wanna see you again

  From time to time, we fall in line

  But now it seems that we are blind

  No one knows, that's how it goes

  all the thoughts that we transpose

  And I can't stop

  even if I wanted to

  It's up top

  Maybe I'm simply deluded

  That's right

  Here I am just wasting my time

  All my time

  And It's hard to justify what you can do

  I'm so sick and tired of falling through

  It's true, Maybe I've been wasting my time

  All this time

  Just as I hit the last chord I heard the gate make noise, at exactly the same moment my phone began to ring. It was Notting. My heart sprung up into my throat. She fucking showed. Now what? I had to take Notting’s call and answered the phone. I would have to tell him I would call him back. What the hell was I getting myself into?

  Smiling to myself, I realized that I didn’t even care.

  PART TWO