First Kiss (Heavy Influence)

by Frohoff, Ann Marie

  “Uh, hello, aren’t you gonna answer me? Kate will worry and you can’t not go home, Jake. That’s totally irresponsible. It’s the exact reason she went off on you in the first place.”

  “What are you now, my conscience?” I snapped, and as soon as I did, I felt bad. She sat there staring at me through narrowed eyes, speechless. “I’m sorry.” I clinched the steering wheel. I was pissed at my mother for being such a miserable bitch, always poking her nose in every little thing.

  “Aly, it’s complicated. If I were to go back to my place, she and I would have it out, and I wouldn’t see you tonight and I wanna be with you as much as I can before I leave.”

  She had no idea how bad I wanted to be with her.

  “Don’t remind me about you leaving. I’ve been trying not to think about it,” she said softly. Her head dipped down, hair now covering her face.

  “Hey, we have this weekend, and then I’ll have 2 shows here in L.A. The time will blow by. I’ll be home before you know it.”

  “Yeah, for you it will. I’ll be stuck here dealing with my sister telling me - I told you so. - But whatevs,” she grumbled, shrugging her shoulders. “I’ll stay with you. I’ll tell my parents I’m staying somewhere else.”

  I thought about where to stay. I didn’t want to be in Dumps scumbag apartment, I shuddered just thinking about it. No, it had to be a hotel. Hermosa Beach had a few to choose from, but then that was too close to home, someone might see us. Venice or Santa Monica would be better.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah.” She smiled, grabbing my hand. “I’ve never been so sure, it’s been easy so far doin’ it.” She laughed. “I’ll call my mom now and tell her I’ll be at Nicole’s.”

  I was uneasy.

  30

  Alyssa

  I was nervous and excited all at the same time and stoked to be alone with Jake finally, with parents far far away. I wondered if he would try to do it with me, and if I could if he did. My heart started thumping hard just thinking about it, and about how bad I wanted to earlier, feeling him firm against me. I couldn’t believe I turned a guy on. The thought of it made my insides tingle. If we did it, would it make us totally official? I reasoned with myself, like I was making some sort of a deal. I really wanted this to be more, to give him what he wanted, so he’d know what would be waiting for him when he returned. I didn’t want to be the immature, innocent little girl that he perceived me to be. He was always babying me, being my protector. I wanted to move past that. I wanted to prove that I was worthy of someone like him and that I could hold my own.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked shaking my hand.

  “Nothing, why?”

  “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “You got all quiet. If you’re having second thoughts, we don’t have to do this. We can go home.”

  “No, no, I want to be with you. I don’t want to go home.” I reassured him. I sighed deeply and like a ruptured water pipe without warning, words just spilled out of my mouth. “Well, there is one thing. You know, since it’s obviously changed between us.”

  I couldn’t spit the rest out. I froze.

  “What do you mean?” he asked smiling at me, tugging on my fingers.

  He glanced back and forth at me, and the road ahead.

  “It just seems so.” I hesitated. “Intense now.”

  He waited and turned down the radio.

  “And.” Coaxing me along which was one thing I loved about him, he always made me relax.

  I laughed, nervously. “Jake I feel like, self-conscious now, it’s weird. I find myself thinking about every little thing. I want this weirdness I feel to go away.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, I feel the same way.” He admitted. “I have to be honest, right? Going with what feels good and right. I trust you.”

  Untangling our fingers his warm hand rubbed my bare thigh, sending butterflies right up my spine.

  “Ditto.” Was the only word I managed to squeeze out in my self-conscious state. I was a ball of nerves thinking about what the night held.

  “We’re gonna live it up tonight, since this may be the last time we see each other for a while.”

  “Why’s that?” I asked uneasily. I couldn’t hide my feelings. It was impossible. I was needy and utterly in love with him, and it was all about to become clear. My first schoolgirl crush, now I’m an obsessive stalker. As long as he was a willing participant, my enabler, I would be bare, always.

  “Kate’s gonna kick my ass up and down the street when I come home tomorrow.”

  “What about the party tomorrow night?”

  “Ha, the party’s no problem, since we’re playing. But she’ll demand I come straight home and lecture me about bullshit I’m not doing right. She won’t let me live this down for a while, but whatever.” He shrugged off the thought. “So, on to our epic eve, Alycat. Where would you like to stay, in a fabulous high rise overlooking the city or on the beach?”

  My stupid, juvenile reaction was to giggle. “I don’t know. You pick, since this is your idea.”

  “Ok, we’ll stay on the beach. I’ve been to this swanky hotel called Shutters, and it’s pretty rad. The rooms are pretty snazzy.”

  “Really and when was the last time you were at this snazzy hotel?” I questioned, mocking him warily.

  “We went to meet up with some people hanging out at the pool, partied there one afternoon. This was last year. I’m sure not much has changed,” he said smiling, then reached up turning the music louder.

  I hadn’t been away from our beach town and into the city only but two other times to shop on Melrose Avenue. This was a different life. There were bums, everywhere. Come to think of it, we didn’t have any bums. Well, we had our one local bum. Our bum looked better off than these bums. I felt sorry for them with their ill fitting shoes or no shoes at all and their filthy clothes and grimy, greasy unkempt hair with toothless grins and pirate teeth. I noticed many of them talked to themselves. It made me sad to think they once had mothers. I wondered if their mothers loved them and held them or if they had children of their own.

  “Hey.” Jake shook my leg. “Why the silence, I’m beginning to think this may be a bad idea.”

  “Oh, no, I was just thinking about all these homeless people around. Why are there so many here? It’s really sad, I’m sad for them, like wondering if they ever had families.”

  “Yeah, it’s pretty crazy that you’ve got million dollar homes and swanky hotels juxtaposed with the homeless. Santa Monica is pro-homeless. They feed them over near the civic center, by where the court buildings are.” He explained, shrugging. “I fed the homeless one Thanksgiving there.”

  “Really?” I glanced at him and gave an inquisitive look. I’m not sure if I was surprised or endeared. “That’s really sweet of you.”

  “At first I didn’t want to, but when I got there. There were like, regular people there, with their kids. People who looked like you and I, people down on their luck. It’s eye opening to think how your life can change in a heartbeat.”

  All I could do was nod, sadly.

  Lost in my melancholy bum sympathy, I hadn’t realized we arrived at our destination and he was right, it was over the top. There were those valet guys with black suits, rushing around taking and retrieving vehicles for their obviously wealthy customers. I felt ill at ease waiting for our turn at having our car doors opened by one of these crisply pressed worker-bees. I looked at those stepping out and retrieving their Range Rovers and Mercedes-Benz, the Lexus’ and BMW’s. Ours was the only regular ride in view. Even the hipsters, who looked like rock stars and movie stars, were driving super nice cars. At least when Jake was away from his truck, he would fit in with these L.A. types. Glancing at him with his disheveled black hair, his smooth perfect skin, and his jaw line showing a bit of hair growth, I went weak.

  His brilliant, impossibly blue eyes shot a look at me catching me off guard.

  “This is why I love being with you Alycat, because it’s all
too real with you. You see things through different eyes.” He smiled broadly at me with his brilliant white teeth.

  “I’m sorry?” I asked, confused, lost in is aura.

  “Your concern about the bums.” He reminded me.

  Just then one of the most hottest valet guys I’d ever seen opened my door. He couldn’t have been much older than Jake, with his blonde, beach boy hair, tanned skin and a thousand watt smile. I was sure I blushed, because I felt the heat rise instantly.

  “Checking in?” The valet hottie asked curiously.

  “Um, yeah,” I answered awkwardly.

  His eyes twinkled, not leaving mine and I couldn’t help but smile back at him.

  He glanced around quickly, as if he was looking for someone in particular. “Parent’s already checked in?”

  Did he really just ask me that?

  Before I could eek out one syllable Jake was at my side, with his glasses on looking beyond the part. I could have passed out. Abruptly he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. My heart stopped. Valet hottie stood taller and a cool smile appeared on his face as he and Jake stood eye to eye. I held my breath not knowing what to expect.

  “They’re no parents here,” Jake responded brusquely. “Thanks.”

  Jake pulled me away towards the hotel entrance and all I could do was smile a quirky grin at valet hottie as he wished us a nice stay. I was a little embarrassed and I wasn’t sure why. I felt totally out of place, like everyone just knew was a virgin, about to have my cherry popped by my obviously older boyfriend. My only savior, my one slight relief was my attempt to look the part, with my new duds and my new polished face. I looked like I could, potentially, be an acceptable match for someone like Jake.

  Hiding behind my bed-head hairdo and my mask of black eye make-up, we entered into the sleekest lobby I’d ever seen. It was quite a contrast from the Motel 6’s my family stayed at in the past. Pictures don’t do a place like this justice. I’d seen the pictures of top rated hotels on those travel shows, but until you actually see one of them first hand, you’ll never fully understand.

  “I guess that’s a little taste of what I have to worry about when I leave.” He whispered, pressing his lips to my temple. Was that a question? I wasn’t sure, so I didn’t make a peep. There were no peeps to be had. I was in a speechless fog of surreal firsts.

  I was snapped out of my love haze when he asked me to - wait over there. He pointed to a group of tan fabric couches surrounded by lush green banana trees.

  “By myself?” I asked confused. “Where are you going?”

  “I need to get a room.”

  “Why can’t I go with you?”

  “Calm down, it’s just easier, ya know,” he explained, holding me close casually looking around. “Trust me.”

  I let go of him and walked unenthusiastically towards the suggested target. Stand straight, I told myself. Don’t be such a baby. Hold your head high. No immaturity allowed. No mistakes. I talked myself up as I plopped myself down onto an oversized, stiff cushioned chair. I purposely sat with my back facing the vast expanse of the lobby so I wouldn’t catch leering eyes probing me (as if, but just in case).

  The voices and music collided together, echoing against the stamped concrete floors and the immense vast ceiling. I tried to make out what was being said by those nearby, but it was impossible. I was obsessing that we were being talked about, that they suspected us to be doing something wrong and call our parents and I would never see Jake again. Just the thought made me light headed, in a bad way. I breathed in deeply through my nose, catching the sweet scent of the nearby flowers, Freesias to be exact. I loved flowers. I closed my eyes concentrating on this wonderful smell, my nerves calmed.

  “Ok, let’s go check it out,” he said smiling, flashing the plastic card, which was the room key.

  Jake held out his hand helping me up from my petrified state and we slowly walked toward the bank of elevators in the distance. I loved how I fit right under his arm, how he draped himself over me when we walked and I firmly held his hand as it dangled from my shoulder.

  “My mom’s gonna be calling any time now, wondering where I’m at. Not sure if I’m gonna answer it,” He said, looking at me in our reflection, which stared back at us. I’d never seen what we looked like together and I could have stood there all day staring at this mirror image. “Ha, we look pretty good don’t we?” He laughed softly.

  “Ehh,” I squeaked, shrugging my shoulders.

  He laughed again, pulling my head to his lips as the elevator door opened and a gang of people poured out. The elevator carried us to the fifth floor. Jake shifted a duffle bag over to his other shoulder. I hadn’t noticed it before. Why would he have a duffle bag? Did he plan this? If this was planned, it changed the game as far as I was concerned. I wasn’t about sneaky shit, and my sister’s warning screamed loudly in my head.

  The doors opened and the elevator informed us, in a soft female voice that we’d arrive at the Fifth Floor.

  “Aly, you’re killing me with how quiet your being,” he said, stopping at what was our hotel room door, with its shiny silver 513 plate attached to it. “Seriously, we don’t have to stay here, we can turn around, and just go hang for a while somewhere else and go home later.”

  “Jake,” I hesitated. “Never mind. It’s silly. We’ll just stick to the plan.” I smiled bravely back at him.

  “Ok, what ever you say.” He smiled, sliding the key card into its place and the little green light flashed, unlocking the door.

  Jake held the door open for me and I walked in to find the most amazing hotel room I’d ever seen. I could see the ocean through the sliding glass doors at the other end of the room. The place was huge and it had a sunken living room that led out to a balcony facing the water. The bed was gigantic and I skipped with laughter, diving onto it. I sank into the pile of fluffy white pillows and flipped over on to my back. I watched Jake dive right down next to me. Our laughter was in sync as I shimmied to prop myself up. He lay on his back with both arms tucked under his head. His blue eyes gleamed.

  “Jake, did you plan this? I mean, what’s up with the duffle bag?”

  “No, I didn’t.” He answered in a slow deliberate tone and stared straight up at ceiling.

  I waited for him to say something else and just as I was about to speak he continued.

  “My mother is going to kill me. She’s gonna freak out if she sees the charge on my credit card for this.” He rolled over onto his side, propping his head to face me. “But I don’t care. I’m sick of everyone giving me shit about every fucking thing I do.”

  He reached out placing his hand on my stomach and slid it over to my hipbone. My insides went berserk. I took his hand in mine, hoping it would stall him from feeling me up. I started getting light-headed thinking about it.

  “What’s in the duffle bag if you didn’t plan this then?” I asked smiling.

  “I always carry extra shirts and stuff because of sweating during gigs. You know, deodorant and shit like that.”

  Yeah, I could see that and was immediately relieved to know he didn’t have some grand scheme to deflower me.

  “Aly, don’t worry. I’m not planning on making you do anything you don’t wanna do. I don’t wanna go home. I wanna be with you and not at some fleabag hotel or worse, Dump’s place. It’s that simple,” he quietly explained.

  “So you had to go to the other end of the spectrum, which will cause you to get your ass handed to you, and make her have another reason for you not to see me.” I said sarcastically.

  “Yeah, basically.” He laughed. “By the time we’re done here, it’s gonna cost about $600 dollars.”

  I choked on my spit, sitting upright clearing my throat. “What! Dude, that’s insane! How are you gonna pay for that? Your mom already complained about the extra cost for the studio time, and then you go and do this?”

  Lying back flat, he covered his face with both hands then looked as if he’d rip his hair out. “Yeah,
well, don’t let her fool you with dramatics. When my dad died…let’s just put it this way, we were taken care of,” he explained. “And besides I have my own money, that I’ve made. Not a lot but it works, and when I turn 18, she can suck on it.” He sighed, his hands still covering his eyes. “I’ll dig ditches if I have to, to pay for this.”

  “Has it always been this complicated?” I asked. “Dealing with your mother? And what about Notting, he’s been around a long, long time, Jake.”

  “Yeah, it’s always difficult dealing with her.” He huffed lightly. “This is just the first time I’ve ever stood up to her or done anything like this.”

  “I got the impression she doesn’t want you seeing me,” I murmured.

  “That’s not gonna happen, she can’t stop me from seeing you. I mean, fuck, I haven’t seen you all week. She’s got no idea what the hell’s going on. It just pissed her off that I left to get you, and then the whole thing with Rachel. I haven’t been keeping her apprised, and that burns her up, she’s a control freak.”

  “Why do you think she’s all over you? Do you give her a reason to be?”

  Jake stared at the ceiling.

  “No. I’ve just been so accustomed to it. Not wanting to upset her. She’s been through a lot with not having my dad around, you know. It’s part guilt I guess, and me allowing it to happen for so long.”

  “What about Notting? You said he’s been in love with her.”

  Jake squirmed, uneasy.

  “I’m sorry. We don’t have to talk about it.” I offered. But I really wanted to know.

  “It’s not something I like to talk about, Aly. Their whole relationship, I’m not sure what to think of it. I know my dad loved my mother, and he treated her really lovingly in front of me. We were very happy. He adored her, so I thought.”

  “What’s that suppose to mean? We’re talking about Notting?”

  “No, my father.” Jake sighed and finally looked at me. “Check this out, my ex-girlfriend Renee, who wasn’t my girlfriend yet and her older brother witnessed something that I’ve never shared with anyone else.”