First Kiss (Heavy Influence)

by Frohoff, Ann Marie

  “What?” I was fixed.

  “The night my dad died in that crash, he was with another woman. Not in the car, but he was probably on his way home or something.”

  “What? No! Why do you say that?”

  “Renee was driving with her brother and saw him on the road with this woman. She was kissing him, leaning over kissing him. There was no mistake they said.”

  I gulped.

  “So what does this mean? Did your mom find out?”

  “Aly, it was such a hectic time. I didn’t find out about it until months later. But Renee and her brother were at the funeral and they said they saw the same woman there and that she was crying like she lost her husband. My dad worked with her, apparently. After the shock of everything, I started wondering, you know, and rehashed it with Renee after we started dating. I recalled the day a woman called the house. My mom wasn’t home. A woman asked for my dad, and she wouldn’t give me her name. She said, “I’m just a friend and I’m trying to reach him.” I recalled how suspicious I was, for no reason, like something was telling me it wasn’t right. I told her she was no friend if she couldn’t give me her name and I hung up the phone.”

  “Wow. So you’ve been holding on to this?”

  “What am I supposed to do? My mom was a wreck, if it weren’t for Notting, who knows what would have happened. Notting is a whole other story, too.”

  “But your mom and him are together now?”

  “Not officially. They’ve never told me they are together. I’ve never seen them kiss. But I feel it. They think I’m stupid.”

  I felt very grown up, and safe, all of my absurd thoughts of earlier flew out the window. I felt I could tell him anything, like it’d been all those weeks ago when we were just friends.

  “Yeah, I guess I’m gonna text Notting. Tell him what’s up and not to worry.”

  “Why don’t you just text your mom.”

  “Because, she’ll start in on me, and Notting won’t. He understands, trust me.”

  I sat pensive, and worried our wonderful time in this plush oasis would end sooner than I wanted it to. Sitting close to Jake I watched the letters quickly appear on the screen of his phone:

  - NOT, I’LL BE HOME IN THE MORNING. I JUST DON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH MOM AND I NEED TIME TO THINK.

  “My mom will probably take my phone away, once she realizes it’s me, if she’s with Notting.” He laughed.

  - WE’LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.

  “See,” Jake said, giving me a closer view of the text message. “I told you it was that simple. I love Notting, if it wasn’t for him, I probably would have quit by now, or have asked for emancipation.”

  “What’s that?”

  “It’s when a minor petitions the court to be on their own before 18.”

  “Really, you can really do that? I thought that was a myth.”

  “Nope, you can do it.” He answered, sitting up throwing his legs over the side of the bed.

  “Let’s go for a walk on the beach.”

  “Ok, but don’t you think we need to get your money’s worth and hang out here as long as possible,” I said kissing his cheek.

  He rose quickly wrapping his arms under my legs giving me a piggyback ride out to the balcony.

  “So, you’re telling me you want to stay in here and not go out there?” He said pointing, and dropped me onto my feet.

  It was breathtakingly beautiful, especially the hotel grounds. The ocean was masterpiece backdrop. The pool was off to the left and our balcony had a panoramic view. The black striped cabana’s outlined the entire perimeter of the pool and fabulously figured men and women, young and old, lay out on teak lounge chairs. These people were the ultimate Envies.

  “I suppose we can go explore.” I smiled. “This is so amazing, Jake. I’m not going to want to leave tomorrow.”

  Jake came closer, wrapping his arms around me from behind. “I’m not gonna wanna leave either, trust me, for long list of reasons.”

  31

  Alyssa

  I admired the general finery of the lobby, with its polished dark wood furnishings, artwork and lush potted greenery, as we made our way out toward the swimming pool. Jake grabbed my hand as we approached a large gazebo, which held the fluffy striped beach towels I’d seen from our balcony.

  “Two towels please.” Jake requested from the hip blond attendant with a pageboy hair cut.

  “Room key?” she asked. She didn’t look at or acknowledging me. Jake flashed our plastic access card at her, “Room number and last name?” she purred.

  “Masters, room 513.” He answered with a crooked grin and glanced at me playfully animated.

  “Great, let me know if you need anything else.” Gazebo Girl replied, batting her eyes.

  Jake thanked her and put his arm around me as we walked away.

  “I guess we both have our own fan clubs here.” I teased.

  He was quiet. No good-humored retort. Maybe he didn’t like the jab.

  He pointed to a sign posted with “Beach Access” written in bold black letters at the other end of the swimming pool. It took us past the rows of lounging people soaking up every last minute of sun. We made our way to the shoreline, walking hand in hand. Our feet sank into the wet sand. I glanced back wanting to see our footprints side by side. These moments were imbedding themselves into my memory, binding me ever more tightly. I was wholly fixed to him, and I would remain, unaltered.

  Soaked in my Jake stupor, the cool water shocked me from my daydream as large set waves came barreling towards us, wetting our legs entirely. Jake laughed, cursing humorously under his breath. I mockingly looked sympathetically at him.

  “Oh, I see, you think this is funny?” he teased, grabbing the towel from my hands and tossing our things away from the water, charging at me.

  Jake scooped me up in his arms and I begged him not to throw me in. He quickly sloshed us out into deeper water, and without much of a fight, I gave in. The water’s cool affect against my heated skin gave me chills, and I clung to his warm, well-built frame. He then let my legs loose to float freely under water.

  I tried to find the bottom.

  “Are you standing?” I asked, holding tight to his arm that was still wrapped around me.

  “Yep.”

  “At least I know the bottom’s just right there.” I smirked. “It’s creepy not to be able to see the bottom. You’re lucky you’re a head taller.”

  “Yes I am.” He smiled and moved me directly in front of him. He held me under my arms and picked me up out of the water, above him. “You’re a perfect fit.”

  I melted into him as my legs cut through the water and wrapped around his waist. The water lapped at our chins as we moved deeper. We were both mute, staring at each other for a long moment. I was filled with so much elation I felt like I could explode and my words gushed out of my mouth.

  “Will it always be this way,” I asked softly. Water splashed up into my mouth, forcing me to pause to spit it out. Jake remained hushed. “You know, this feeling?”

  “I don’t know about you, Aly, but what I feel grows stronger every day.” He admitted, holding me tighter.

  The water pushed and pulled at our bodies. My heart raced and I felt breathless upon hearing his words. He kissed me hard on the lips and turned taking us back to shore.

  “I think you’ll be able to stand now.”

  “Ha, oh no! You carried me out here, you’re carrying me in.” I laughed mischievously.

  “Oh, you think so?” he chuckled, teasingly.

  “Uh, yeah?” I playfully questioned.

  He gallantly carried me all the way out of the water, my weight barely fazing him. He let my legs free and my feet hit the sand. We sauntered along for what seemed like a mile. Finally, we stopped laying our towels out. Jake looked as flawless as ever, even with the sandy salt water lines dried over his perfectly toned chest and arms. I’m pretty sure I didn’t look as wonderful, with my hair crispy and matted to my head. I hastily playe
d with my hair in an anxious attempt not to look warped.

  “What up,” he asked, shaking me around by my shoulder. “Talk to me Alycat, tell me what’s on your mind.”

  His cheeriness under his own circumstances was inspiring.

  I sighed, stuttering, “Um, my mind just starts racing with all these thoughts and what if’s,” I owned up quietly.

  “For example?” he asked.

  “Please don’t embarrass me,” I begged.

  “I’m not,” he laughed softly. “I wanna know, Aly, c’mon.” He continued with his power of persuasion.

  “Ok. I just think, like, what’s gonna happen tonight.” I admitted, “And what’s it gonna be like when you’re gone, and what’s it gonna be like when school starts. Stuff like that.”

  “Yeah,” he whispered. “I think of those same things too.”

  “Yeah, ” I replied quietly.

  “But you know what? As long as we’re ok, right?” he said lightly, gesturing between us. “The rest’ll fall into place.” I felt his hand move from my shoulder as he gently weaved his fingers through my hair to the roots. I felt his cool fingers against my warm scalp. He pressed my head into his neck, holding me tight.

  The Santa Monica pier looked tiny in my view and I marveled at the pink and orange hue of the sky. The sun’s last bit of rays reached out over the vastness of the atmosphere. Scattered as far as I could see were wisps of clouds and a trail, as if a bunny hopped around leaving its footprints.

  We began to walk back and Jake was an open book. I walked and listened. His avalanche of resentments toward his mother surprised me. He shared a bit more about his father’s death and he wanted to pretend he never learned of his affair. What went on gnawed at him. He was torn by guilt and love for his mother, and so much of other things I didn’t understand.

  Her involvement in the band was at its breaking point.

  “I get it, she wants us out there meeting fans,” he huffed, bringing his free hand to his face rubbing his eyes. “But fuck, she never gives us time to decompress – me especially, I’m the buffer for the guys. We’re exhausted after a show. We’re sweaty and thirsty and she’s back in the dressing room rushing us along. Like the world’s gonna end if we take one more second.”

  “Have you tried talking to her?”

  “Are you kidding,” he said, whipping his hand way from his face. “Yeah, but she doesn’t give a shit. I’d like to see her get up on stage and pull off a forty plus minute set.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, nuzzling into him a bit more, trying to imagine what it must be like. The only image I could mull up of my own mother was when my friends and I didn’t wipe up the trailed in pool water. She’d act as if her hard wood floors would bend and buckle right there on the spot. “Yeah, my mom can be a freak about stuff too.”

  “Aly,” he said and shook his head. “There’s no comparison.”

  “What do the other guys think? Like Mike, what does he think?”

  Jake grew rigid at the mention of Mike’s name and I was unsure what to make of his reaction.

  He sighed. “Mike, he’s another chink in the chain.”

  “What’s that suppose to mean?”

  We were now at a stand still near the ocean’s edge. He was silent for another moment, turning his gaze toward the distant pier. The mood, invisible, suddenly changed. The air seemed to grow dry as it filled my lungs.

  I gulped. “Um, hello?”

  He sniffed and chuckled. “Aly,” he paused, glancing at me. “You know when you have a hunch about something, like, when it’s in your gut?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well,” he said and bent down, scooping sand into his hands letting it run through his fingers. “I don’t think Mike was the right choice. That’s just between you and me.”

  I sat down next to him. “Why? I don’t know too much about guitar playing, but he seems to be pretty good.”

  “That’s not why. His ability isn’t what’s in question,” Jake said, “He’s just a fucking mess, ya know. The drugs and drinking are more than I thought. Or maybe because I’m not in it with him anymore it’s just more apparent.”

  “And that’s it?”

  Finally he looked at me. “There’s how he treats Bobby. He practically ignores him. He used to tease him in front of fans. The only time he talks to him is to bum a cig. It’s just weird. I seriously don’t understand that guy,” he said, hesitating and his face bent angrily. “And then there’s you.”

  “Me?” I said. My insides contracted as the word flipped off my lip.

  “Yep,” he said. “Since the beginning, the way he talks about you or questions what’s going on, it’s irritating.”

  I shifted uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to this revelation.

  “Jake, I’m sure it’s just small talk.”

  Dusting the sand from his hands he moved to get up. “Yeah, my guts tell me different,” he said, holding his hand out to help me up. “We don’t need to talk about this anymore.”

  I sprung up from sitting cross-legged in the sand. “Ok, but don’t let it get you down. I’m sure it’ll work itself out, right?”

  “Yeah, I hope,” he said skeptically.

  “I’m thinking this is like the third or fourth time since we’ve been,” I said, pausing. Been what? What were we actually? A couple? Boyfriend and girlfriend, what exactly? Shit. “Um, whatever you wanna call us…you know.” I wiggled, feeling strange for bringing it up accidentally. “That I’ve looked like a drowned rat more times than I can count,” I said, hanging my head, embarrassed. “I mean I really am starting to lose track.”

  Throwing his head back, he laughed loudly. “You’re right, what is it with you?”

  “I’m blaming you.” I smiled, giving him a playful evil eye.

  He chased me all the way back to the hotel and we made a ruckus walking through the pool area. I could only image what we looked like.

  We stood at the elevator and Jake moved from my side, bear hugging me from behind. I felt his warm breath on my ear and it sent chills running over every inch of my skin. I wanted to squeal, but the growing crowd of people waiting for the elevators challenged me to keep quiet. Jake seemed not to notice, he acted as if no one was around.

  “We’re gonna order room service and watch movies and act like there’s no tomorrow,” he whispered, silky in my ear.

  “Technically there isn’t gonna be a tomorrow,” I said, “Well, maybe a tomorrow, but after that it’ll be weeks.” I grabbed his arms with both my hands and hung my head into them.

  “It’ll go by fast, you’ll see.”

  Yeah right, for you maybe.

  I irrationally worried (or maybe it wasn’t irrational) about getting caught by my parents sitting in a towel, in a hotel room, far from home. Jake’s theatrical – “Oh yeah baby” rattled me from my worry. He came out of the bathroom holding two plush, white bathrobes. They had the hotel insignia embroidered in black thread on the breast.

  “Take a look at these, darlin’,” he said walking past me lying one of them on the bed. He slid one on over his broad shoulders. His eyes bore into mine with a devilish grin. “We’re gonna play it like Jay’z and Beyonce tonight.” He walked over close to me. “Come here.”

  All my angst nearly disappeared when my knees went weak staring at his perfect face and hearing those words flip from his mouth.

  32

  Jake

  The drone of the TV was no distraction from the buzz of energy I felt between us. That same energy Aly spoke of all those weeks ago, something I’d never understood or was too intoxicated to feel with anyone else. Holding her cool thin hand in mine I decided this was something I’d never felt before and I wanted to define it. A melody began flying through my head and I began to hum.

  “Wha’cha singing’ about?” Aly said squeezing my hand.

  Opening my eyes, I was a little embarrassed. “Oh, somethin’ that’s been simmering a little while, but guess what? I think I wanna make
it a duet.”

  “Can’t wait to hear it.”

  “Have you ever wanted to sing?”

  “No!” She laughed and shook her head like it was the most insane thing she’d ever heard.

  “You’ve never thought about it? For real?”

  “Nope. Never.”

  “You have a really sweet voice, Aly. Like, it’s really nice.”

  “What?” She looked at me stunned.

  “Yeah, I hear you singing all the time, and on the way here I really paid attention.” I paused, wondering if I should say what’d I’d been thinking since then. “I think it’d be cool if we recorded one together. You know, just for us.”

  Her eyes opened wide with surprise and immediately her brow furrowed. Her reaction was a mixture of confusion and elation then she smiled broadly, clinching her hands under her chin.

  “Wow, really? You think my voice is good enough for that?”

  “Yeah, I do. We could record it before I leave, simply, in my garage. I do demo’s there all the time.”

  “Oh my god, sure, I mean that would be so cool. Are you sure? Really?”

  Aly continued to hold her gently clasped hands under her chin with a dubious expression.

  “Yeah of course. I’ve been thinking about it since we got here,” I said.

  “Ok. Let’s do it.” She shrieked with excitement and jumped on me. “Oh my god, I’m so nervous about it.”

  We sat tangled together kissing and I wondered if I should suggest us moving to the bed.

  “You getting tired?”

  “Ehh, not really, but I’m lazy.” She giggled, emphasizing with a huge stretch. “What time is it anyway?”

  I laughed when I glanced at the bedside clock in the corner of the room. “It’s not even nine o’clock.”

  “You’re kidding,” she said sitting upright licking her lips and looking back at the TV. “This movie blows, lets pick another one.”

  She slid to the edge of her seat and her mouth hinged open. I was stuck on her lip licking. I wanted to lick her lips.

  She stared at me for a long moment, searching my eyes, as if looking for an answer. “I don’t want this to end.”