First Kiss (Heavy Influence)

by Frohoff, Ann Marie

  Nadine sat quietly staring down at her tattered wad of mascara laden tissues. “You guys, why do you suppose it’s different for me than for you?” She started to tear up again. “Is it that big a deal to go all the way? Is that really what’ll keep a guy around?” Her tears were again full throttle. “I really thought he liked me enough to just be ok with the way things were, for now. It’s not like I wouldn’t have gone all the way with him, eventually.”

  “Nadine. You knew Chris was a player to begin with,” Nicole said softly, trying to soften her statement by rubbing her back. “I really thought it was different with you. I’d never seen him go after someone so convincingly.”

  I was stalled at her last comment. “What do you mean different for us than for you?”

  She squirmed before she spoke. “You’ve obviously done something to keep Jake around, Aly. That’s what I mean. Look at Nicole and Grant…”

  “Hey, my situation is completely different that you guys.” Nicole interrupted. “Grant and I, you know, we’ve never been with anyone else. For the record, we haven’t done it.”

  “You guys,” I huffed. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, or who’s saying what but Jake and I have never gotten past whatever the bases are after kissing. I’ve never touched his junk like that and he hasn’t tried anything other than boob squeezing.”

  They both looked surprised and Nicole quickly spoke. “Well, girl, that’s not what people are saying.”

  “What do you mean?” I choked on my spit, clearing my throat. “Who’s saying what?”

  “I don’t know how it got brought up, but one night hanging by the fire pit, Chris brought up that he never thought you had it in you.”

  “What the fuck?” My mouth went dry. “And, what else?”

  “That people are saying you’re sleeping with Jake.”

  I looked at Nadine in horror. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

  “I didn’t think it was a big deal, I mean, so what, he’s into you. I just hoped he wouldn’t use you and drop you like he did Rachel, and by the looks of it that’s not gonna happen…so whatever.”

  “I can’t believe I’m hearing all this just now. You guys don’t know anything!” I shouted, storming out of my room and down the stairs. My sister called out my name as I rushed out the front door. Pacing around the courtyard I couldn’t see straight. My mind was spinning. Did I already have a bad reputation before I even set foot onto campus?

  “Aly,” My sister’s voice startled me. “You ok?”

  “Uh, yeah,” I smiled, trying to fake her out, but by the smirk on her face, she saw right through me. “You still fighting with Nicole?”

  “No. Well, we made up, but…”

  “Aly come on,” Nicole said, swiftly coming outside, a look of alarm dotted her face when she saw my sister. “Oh, hey Allison.” Nadine came up behind Nicole, not saying a word.

  “What’s going on?” My sister’s eyes narrowed as she glanced, back and forth between all of us.

  My heart raced. I didn’t want her to know what I was upset about. “Nothing, we’re still talking through stuff,” I blurted out.

  Allison was on a need to know basis as far as Jake was concerned.

  She sniffed, shrugging her shoulders. “Ok then, just checking.” She said, giving Nadine and Nicole the cold shoulder as she passed.

  As Allison turned walking back into the house, she gave me a soft smile. I still wasn’t used to her being nice to me.

  “What’s up with that?” Nicole whispered. “Why’d she look at us like that?”

  “I never said anything to her, but she probably heard me complaining,” I admitted honestly.

  “Ok, see, there you go. You talked about us too, behind our backs.” Nicole pointed out with an exasperated expression.

  “That was only after you talked shit about me.” I huffed.

  “I didn’t mean to, Aly. Don’t forget Matt’s got a pretty bruised ego. He took what I said and ran with it. I feel bad and I’m sorry.” She stepped forward holding her arms out to hug me and I caved. “I mean, you go to being perpetually single to being some older guy’s girlfriend. Of course he thinks you’re messin’ around like that.” She backed away holding my shoulders. “We all kinda did.”

  “Jake says just because a guy wants to have sex with you, doesn’t mean he cares about you.” Saying these words empowered me. I turned to Nadine. “So, yeah, for me it is different. Be happy you didn’t give it up to him.”

  My words cut deep into Nadine, but she wanted to know. So I was brutally honest and I hoped she wouldn’t hate me. She stood there with a trembling lip, trying to hold back her tears. She shook her head bravely in agreement and wiped away newly spilt tears with the palm of her hand.

  Nicole and I moved quickly to Nadine’s side, hugging her. We babbled supportive words and apologies for being lame to each other, but all I could really think about was Jake.

  43

  Alyssa

  The breeze, cool against my sun heated skin, reminded me I had an end of summer volleyball session at two at the beach.

  “I have to leave for volleyball soon,” I said, bending over picking a flower from the pot that sat next to me. “I’ll be back by five, you guys wanna come over for dinner.”

  “Yeah,” Nadine said quickly. “I don’t wanna be alone, you know, need to keep my mind off of shit.”

  “I can’t, Grant’s coming over,” Nicole informed. “So, does this mean you’re not gonna come over anymore?”

  “No, but I’m not ready to act like this is no big deal,” Nadine admitted. “The guy just dumped me via text message. He’s an asshole, Nicole. I don’t wanna see his face. I’d prolly punch him in the nose.”

  ***

  Nicole bailed and we sat on the edge of my bed staring at each other in my closet mirrors. The redness in her eyes had faded and all that remained was glossed over puffiness.

  “You remind me of a bunny rabbit.” I pointed to her nose, smiling. “Chris will regret dumping you, you’ll see. Screw him. Hold your head high, like it was you who did the dumping. You know, that’s what he liked about you, your fearless attitude. He may even realize he effed up.” I was serious when I spoke. I didn’t want to give her false hope, but I’d seen it with my sister and her boyfriend. He’d broken up with her, and then came back kissing her ass when she acted like she didn’t give shit.

  Nadine picked up my phone, giving me a sly smile. “So what’s up with you and Mike?” She handed me my phone. “I saw a text from him flash up after you stormed out of the house earlier.”

  I sighed loudly. “Jake doesn’t know I talk to Mike.”

  Nadine’s eyes widened. “You little weasel.” She looked surprised. “What’s up with that?”

  I laughed, a bit uncomfortable. “Nice choice of words,” I laughed more shoving her away. “It’s Mike. He’s the one that reaches out. I don’t wanna offend him. He’s nice to me, so why should I be a bitch just because Jake hates him?”

  “Are you retarded?”

  “No.” I huffed, looking at her cross.

  “He likes you, Aly. Duh!” She threw herself back on my bed slapping her forehead. “And here I thought I might have had a chance.”

  “No he doesn’t.” I really wanted to believe what I was saying, but I had to face the possibility.

  “Uh, yes he does.” She hesitated. “He was always staring at you and shit.” Her arms fell hard to her sides and bounced on the mattress. “I can’t wait to go to school tomorrow and start fresh. Fuck these pricks.”

  “Nadine!”

  “Aly, you can’t deny it,” she moaned propping herself up by her elbows.

  “I really think he’s just being cool, you know, like the other guys.” I fidgeted with my ring. “He acted as if he was doing me a favor by staying in touch while they were on tour.”

  “Um, dumb dumb, the other guys aren’t texting you asking how you’re doing behind your boyfriend’s back.” She sat up. “Are you
seriously that dim?”

  “No.” I folded my arms to my chest. “I didn’t want to think that way, I guess.”

  “Be careful, Aly. If Jake finds out he might not have it.” She said ruefully.

  I grew panicky. “Do you think I should tell Jake? Shit, you know, I knew it wasn’t right. But I didn’t want to offend Mike, and have him be a dick to me,” I whined.

  I slumped, sitting back down, and went limp.

  “Just tell him to leave you alone, he’s sneaky,” she said, nodding her head slowly. “I’m sneaky, so I know sneaky.” She wagged her finger at me. “Be careful with him.”

  “Ok,” I agreed. My mind spun, wondering how it would go down. “Ugh!” I groaned loudly. “Now I’m all freaked out! I gotta get ready and get outta here.”

  “If you don’t mind, can I come down and hang with you?”

  “Yeah, of course,” I said, pausing. I took in her pathetic expression. “Come down whenever you want. Jake’s meeting me down there. I was hoping Marshall would too. I wanna catch up with him. You know.” She returned my glance with knowing eyes, but still no questions or comments on the gay boyfriend matter.

  ***

  I stopped a the top of the hill before making my way down to the sand to let the light breeze dry my moist skin. I took this time to catch up with Marshall via text messages. He was full blown into Bobby and I was excited for him. Bobby was semi-Abercrombie status, he was totally unlike Marshall and I wondered how their whole deal would go down at school tomorrow.

  I was tugged to reality when I heard a familiar voice. “Hola,” the deep tone greeted. “Look what I picked up along the way.”

  With a knot the size of a bolder churning in my stomach, I faced Mike and Nadine. I smiled awkwardly, struggling to get up. Mike reached out grabbing my arm, helping me to stand. The warmth and strength of him took me off guard. His hair was loose and his expression lacked the hardened air it normally wore.

  “Hey guys, this is a surprise,” I said cheerfully, playing it cool.

  “Aly!”

  My teammates called out, waving for me to come down, they were starting a game. I looked around one last time for Jake. Finally, I faced Mike and smiled half-heartedly. I wanted to ask him what he was doing there. With my heart raced as I passed on the side of Nadine and turned away from him. My eyes locked onto hers and I mouthed “What the hell?”

  I hoped now that Jake wouldn’t show up until after Mike left.

  “I’ll be about an hour or so, Nadine,” I said loudly. “Later, Mike.”

  “I’ll be here,” he replied with a little laughter in his voice. What the hell was he laughing about? Why the hell was this happening? I looked to the sky as if there would be a written explanation.

  I waved my hand not looking back. Down on the sand I was distracted beyond belief and things rapidly went downhill. I was being shouted at by my teammates for my lack of ball control and while I was staring up at Mike and Nadine a ball gave me a full on facial. My head flew back and my body followed in slow motion. I slammed down onto the sand. Next thing I realized I was laying flat on my back, with my teammate Renee hovering over me.

  “Holy shit, Aly, you ok?” Renee said breathless and wide-eyed. I held the side of my face. My ear burned with a high-pitched ring. My vision cleared to focus on Mike and Nadine. Watching her hang all over him, playing with his hair made me…mad? Why was I mad? Was she really playing with his hair? “Dude, Aly, can you hear me?”

  Renee shook me.

  Rubbing my face, I finally looked at her. “I’m ok.” Rolling onto my side, I pushed myself up. “I’m sorry. I’m not feeling good.”

  “You’re def not feeling good now, that’s for sure. That was an epic facial, the ball wrapped around your head,” she said trying not to laugh.

  Renee helped me to stand. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow. I need to go home,” I explained weakly.

  “Ok, feel better.” Renee nodded. “And put some ice on your face when you get home.”

  Walking across the sand toward the stairs, both Nadine and Mike were standing watching me. I was so utterly embarrassed they witnessed me get my face splatted off.

  I anxiously looked every which way for Jake.

  “Man, Aly, that didn’t look goodm” Mike said as he scraped Nadine’s hands off his arm and stepped over to meet me as I came up the stairs. “Shit, your face is really red.” He reached out grabbing my chin and turned my face to the side to get a better view. My stomach flipped when his fingers made contact.

  I stepped back. “Yeah, I need to get ice on it, this sucks.” I tried to laugh it off.

  “I can cruise home with you…guys.” Mike offered. His eyes searched my face and my bikini-clad body. I became uncomfortable. He glanced at Nadine. Her eyes tightened, her demeanor shifted instantly. She was wise to his game.

  I was confused. Mike was complicating things for me, and I didn’t want to be a bitch to him. I actually liked him. I stepped away dialing Jake’s number. Mike continued to look at me thoughtfully. Nadine stepped in front of him grabbing his attention.

  The call rang to voicemail.

  44

  Jake

  My mother silently paced back and forth in front of me and it made my hands tingle, ignoring Aly’s calls made it worse. The adrenaline pumping through me left me light headed. I knew there was a possibility she would find out about the hotel charges, but I was hoping it would have been one of those things that slipped by, seeing she only audited from time to time. There were plenty of times I would charge high priced items like gear for the band, and she never said a word. I was about to get a shellacking.

  “So that’s it, you stayed at this five start hotel, alone? Is that what you’re telling me, Jake?”

  Her nostril flare indicated she was forcing herself to stay calm, but her rage was clear in her flushed cheeks. Her normally neat attire was rumpled and her white sleeveless blouse was halfway un-tucked as she swung a thin black belt from side to side, as if waiting for the perfect moment to lash out and snap me with it.

  Finally, I spoke. “I had some friends come by,” I stammered. “Mom it was an effed up day for me. I needed to just get away from the band.”

  She stood with her arms folded tight against her chest and her French manicured nails disappeared into her flesh. “I’m giving you a chance to tell me the truth, Jake, I know there was more than one person who stayed in that room.”

  I gulped as my temperature rose and heat seeped out of my skin. She had me backed into a corner. I needed to make a choice and fast. Lie to her and lose all trust for the foreseeable future if she found out or tell her the truth and dive into the unknown abyss of repercussions.

  “Mom, just friends, all the usual suspects and yes, Aly was there.” I danced carefully with my explanation, praying she would let it be.

  With another deep breath loaded into her lungs she was about to unleash on me again. I closed my eyes. Before she spoke another word, a knock came at the door. There is a God, I thought as I sprang up from my seat. I was quickly pushed back by her bark.

  “No! You sit there, I’ll answer it.” She pointed angrily at me before she sped off to see who was bothering us. Looking at the clock, Aly had another half hour of volleyball practice. Maybe I could make it.

  I tiptoed over to see who could possibly be at the door, and my heart sprung up into my throat when I saw Aly standing next to my mom in the foyer. Kate was holding Aly’s head, looking at the side of her face.

  God, this isn’t really happening, is it? I thought to myself. I quickly turned, stepping away, back to my original position. Maybe my mom would turn Aly away after her inspection and maybe Aly would leave. Please God, let me off this one time and I promise I’ll do whatever my mom wants without being a dick.

  I’m never praying again.

  “Hey, Aly,” I said, as I continued to curse God in my head. I attempted to act as casual as possible.

  My mom saw right through me and rolled her eyes, looking
back at Aly. “Jake, please go get an ice pack for Aly. Apparently she got a ball to the face, real good by the looks of it.”

  “Shit, what happened?” I said, quickly moving to her side. “Aw man, your eye’s already bruised.” I reached out gently touching the injured area.

  “Ah, ouch, it really hurts.” She coiled back.

  “Hold on.” Dashing into the kitchen I rummaged through the freezer looking for the blue icepack beneath the frozen chicken and fish, I couldn’t find it. The seconds ticked away as I pictured Aly spilling her guts about our hotel romp. Tossing packs of frozen peas and green beans it finally dawned on me to use one of them.

  “Here you go,” I called out, attempting to stifle their imagined conversation. “I have a bag of frozen veggies, they’ll do the trick.”

  My mom huffed. “Jake, if you would have taken another second, it’s in there. I just saw it this morning.”

  As she disappeared into the kitchen, I unloaded, breathless and low. “Mom found out about the hotel. Don’t say anything. I’ll take care of it.” A petrified expression spread across Aly’s face. I held the cold bag to her eye and her hand covered my own, pressing tighter. Our foreheads rested against each other. “Trust me I’ll take care of it,” I whispered. “What are you doing here, anyway?” I said and wrapped my good hand around her neck. My fingers weaved gently through her hair. I was lost in her scent of sunscreen and fruit. Shock waves went through us upon hearing my mother’s voice, propelling us three feet apart.

  “Ok, this thing with you two…we need to talk,” Kate said waving her hand at us. She walked over, taking away the frozen veggie bag and replacing it with the blue ice pack I failed to find. “Aly, seeing that Jake can’t play straight with me, I need to ask you...”

  I jumped in front of Aly in an instant, interrupting her. “No, no, don’t drag her into this!” I said firmly, standing in between them to protect Aly from my mother’s third degree. “I told you what went down.”

  Kate’s eyes flashed wide as she stepped back from me. “Jake, don’t you dare do this again.” She pointed angrily at me. “I have a right to know what the hell’s going on.” She walked over to the coffee table grabbing a small pile of papers. “This bill is over six hundred dollars! Bad choice, my dear, not to mention the possibility of inappropriate behavior going on,” she said pointing directly at Aly. “Aly, did you stay the night with Jake at Shutters?”