First Kiss (Heavy Influence)

by Frohoff, Ann Marie

  As I approached Rachel she had my schedule out ready to pass it off to me. She smiled without saying a word.

  “What? You’re not gonna say hello?” I said smartly. I was over her.

  “You’re capable of saying hello too, ya know,” she said under her breath and looked around to see if anyone could hear our exchange.

  “Whatever.”

  Turning to leave I saw some of her fringe friends staring at me, whispering.

  What a bunch of bitches. “Didn’t your parents teach you that whispering and staring at someone is rude?” I said loudly, stopping in front of them. “You better be sure which team you wanna cheer for.”

  Their twisted faces gave me a good laugh as I walked away toward my first class. It seemed like a floodlight had been turned on. The longer I was sober, the more aware I became of all bullshit behavior that went down. Everything I’d never noticed before was so horribly evident.

  I couldn’t believe I was associated with some of these people.

  46

  Jake

  I was awakened by my mom, shaking me violently by the shoulder as she shouted in my face for me to wake up. I’d slept past my alarm and was late for school. I’d picked up Aly after her volleyball practice and we went and hung out in a Torrance Starbuck’s, doing our homework. I was supposed to meet the guys for band practice, but I’d blown them off, again. Instead, Aly and I went to the movies. I knew I needed to be playing, seeing I’d just gotten my cast off a couple of weeks prior, but I just wasn’t feelin’ it.

  I hurried to get ready and could hear my mother talking loudly in the other room. “What is it?” I said, short as I rushed into the kitchen. “Sorry I slept late. I took a pill because I couldn’t fall asleep.”

  “Jake, you can’t be taking pills to sleep. You need to exercise and eat right.”

  “Mom, get off my case already.”

  “You’re leaving again in 2 weeks, Jake. Working out will help your hand. You need to take care of your body.”

  I grabbed my keys off the kitchen counter. “Mom, running on the treadmill won’t help my hand.” I mocked, flatly.

  “No, but lifting weights will. It’s movement and weight baring.”

  “Mom, stop,” I said dryly.

  I whisked around her, opening the cupboard and grabbed a breakfast bar and bolted out the door. I barely made it to school before they locked the gate, but I still had to go in the office to get marked off as tardy. Great. Rachel would be there. I hadn’t really had to deal with her since the first day of school and that had been weeks prior. We didn’t have any classes together, thankfully. Maybe she would be busy with some filing project or something and I would avoid having to talk to her.

  I pulled on the cool metal handle of the bright blue door and it swung open with ease. I scanned the area for Rachel and spotted her behind the counter near the attendance office. I walked steadfast toward her like I had somewhere important that I needed to be, and school wasn’t it.

  “Hey Rach.” She turned around, surprised.

  “Oh, hey,” she said, as if unflappable.

  “I’m…um, late.” I shrugged.

  Rachel pulled out a little yellow card from under the counter and began writing on it. “Why are you late? Do you have a note?”

  “No note. Missed my alarm.”

  “Late practice?” she asked as she scribbled my name down.

  “Somethin’ like that.”

  She stopped writing and stared at me and her eyes narrowed.

  I slumped. “I’m not trying to be a dick, Rachel.”

  “Mhmm.” She nodded and looked back down and checked the unexcused box.

  I huffed, whispering. “Oh come on, Rach.”

  “No note, no excused tardy. Sorry, rules are rules. I’m not putting my neck on the line for you anymore, Jake.”

  “That’s fine. I understand,” I said and took the white piece of paper she’d ripped off the top of the yellow card.

  We stood staring at each other for a few long, awkward seconds. I wanted to say something else, but what? I wanted to ask how she’d been doing and if she was happy with her classes but she probably didn’t want to hear anymore from me.

  “Sorry, Jake.” Her hands disappeared from the counter, in finality.

  “No worries. I get it,” I said and turned to leave. “Talk to ya later.”

  “See ya.” She smiled. “Oh, I’m planning another party. Not sure when, but maybe you guys can play?”

  “We’ll see, we’re leaving again in 2 weeks.”

  Her face fell. “Oh, ok. Well…”

  “Rachel?” Mrs. Ogelvy piped up from her desk, interrupting us. “Jake, move along, please.”

  “Yes ma’am,” I said respectfully and waved goodbye.

  The bell rang out, echoing over the campus, bouncing off the cinder block walls. In a matter of seconds students swarmed like bees, making their way to their next class. I never did make it to my first period. I didn’t finish my homework anyway, while Aly sat doing hers, I wrote songs. I’d been getting pressure from Notting about home schooling and I knew it was only a matter of time, so what did homework matter anyway?

  The snack bell rang. 9:45 a.m. and with that it was basically the end of my school day with only one more class. Normally I would have headed out to the quad to say goodbye to Aly, but instead I decided to meet her as she was leaving her class. I don’t think you’re ever prepared to see another guy hanging on your chick or him making her laugh, but that’s what I witnessed. I seriously blacked out for a second when I realized the guy with his arm draped over her shoulder was none other than Mike. He’d dyed his hair. His bleached out look now a natural brown. I slowed my pace, in disbelief. I looked around to see if anyone else noticed what was going on.

  Aly was smiling and staring up at him, she finally pushed him away, playfully. My heart raced and I shouted her name before I realized it. She turned and her face went white. Not a good sign. I glanced at Mike and a cool smile sprung to his lips. Was he laughing at me? What the hell was going on? As I approached, Mike nudged Aly, ignoring me.

  “Later, Aly.” He paused, stared me down and walked away. “Hey, don’t let Ms. Taylor get to you.”

  I stood there trying to keep my composure.

  Aly came up taking my hand and I snatched it back.

  “What was that?”

  “Jake, he came up behind me, just saying hello.”

  “You know I can’t stand that guy,” I reminded her. “Why do you let him in?”

  “Because he’s been nothing but nice to me, Jake. I’m not gonna be a jerk to him just because you don’t like him.”

  “I don’t wanna see it, Aly.”

  “I don’t like that you’re still friends with Rachel either. I watch you be friendly with her and I have suck on it. She still has it out for me, you know.”

  I hate when she was right.

  “Aly, she’s over it.”

  “Whatever. Mike and I are friends, but barely talk. It’s not a big deal.”

  I glanced around and people were staring at us now, walking by slowly and whispering to each other. Great, I thought, witnesses to our first public fight. I thought about what Mike had said all those months back, about Aly not trusting me. How long had she really been a friend with him?

  “How long have you been friends with him, Aly?” I mocked quoted. She didn’t like that.

  She huffed. “Does it matter?”

  “I’m not sure if it matters. Maybe it will.”

  She leered at me and stomped away. What the hell? I followed her embarrassed, because now more people were staring at us.

  I grabbed her elbow and she yanked away from me. “Aly, hold up.”

  “No, Jake,” she said loudly. “You hold up. How dare you, how dare you!”

  She spun around and walked faster, away from me.

  “What, this is my fault now?” I yelled back, going after her. I grabbed her hand and walked faster, taking longer strides, dragging he
r behind me. “You, need to calm down. How would you feel?”

  “Stop, Jake!” She insisted and tried pulling away from my hold. I held tighter. “I know how you feel! All the time I feel it, watching girls throw themselves at you! And you just lap it up. So screw you for making me out to be the bad guy! You’re such a hypocrite!”

  By this time we were outside the gates of the school and Mr. Langley, our burley and balding Head of School Safety, stood watching us cautiously. Her words burned with every lash, she was right, beyond right.

  “Look. I’m sorry. It was just a shock to watch that go down considering what’s happened.”

  “I know,” she said, troubled, stalling. “I just try to ignore it when I see it and focus on how it is between you and me when we’re together, otherwise I’d be irate all the time.”

  She stared at me, puzzled, like I was an idiot. I felt like one that was for sure.

  “Aly, I’m sorry.”

  Mr. Langley had enough our little show. “You two lovebirds made up?”

  “It’s all good.” I waved, half-heartedly.

  “Good, now move along, Masters.” He pointed toward the parking lot. “You, Little Miss, you’re running outta time to eat.”

  “Yes, Mr. Langley.” Aly replied indifferently.

  “I can pick you up…but I gotta go to practice tonight or the guy’s will kill me.”

  “I know…I gotta figure out what I’m gonna say to my coach. I got practice right after school. I’ll just see you tonight, maybe.”

  I gave her a quick peck on the cheek as Mr. Langley barked out at us to scram. I felt like a dick.

  Sitting at my kitchen table I had books scattered. I tried to work on a report that was due but the whole Mike and Aly thing ate at me. I didn’t like how I’d left it with Aly. I decided to take a ride to catch her at volleyball practice. When the coach’s whistle blew I stepped inside the door as the girls gathered around for last minute instruction. Aly had her back toward me in the distance as she yanked, pulled and replaced her hair into a ponytail. Soon enough the other girls began whispering and she turned to see me. Her eyes lit up and she smiled and waved discretely at me.

  Aly trotted up to me, smiling tenderly. “I’m glad to see you. I’m really sorry about what happened…”

  “No,” I interrupted. “I’m sorry. I’m the one that has to get over it.”

  I bent down and kissed her gently on the lips.

  “I thought you had practice too.” She probed.

  “I do, I’ll just be late. I wanted to see you. I can’t stand that I’m gonna be gone soon.”

  “Me either.”

  We sat in my truck until every last car associated with her volleyball team pulled away. Reaching over I pulled her face toward mine. We fogged up the windows for who knows how long and I wanted to go back to my house.

  “Let’s go home. Sneak over.”

  “I have so much homework,” she said, breathy. “And it’s already six-thirty.”

  “I hate homework,” I said, taking her lips again. My hand slipped up under her t-shirt and her normally perky breasts were bound tight against her chest. “What the hell is this?”

  I slipped my fingers underneath the thick elastic that wrapped around her.

  “It’s a sports bra, silly.” She giggled.

  “I had no idea these things suffocate your tits!” I laughed. “It’s like a ace bandage. That thing has to be uncomfortable.”

  “It’s actually not.”

  “I bet they’d like to breath.” I teased playfully, pulling at it.

  She giggled. I loved her laugh.

  ***

  I could hear our familiar tune thumping and trilling down the hall the closer I got to our studio door. I stopped and popped another pill in my mouth before I stepped through the door, just so my hand or mood would bother me. Immediate silence greeted me as soon as I stepped in. They were pissed I was late.

  “Dude.” Bobby looked at me bewildered and pointed at his watch. “Come on, an hour and a half? Really?”

  Dump looked at me like he could kill me. “What the fuck man! We’ve been calling you. Where the hell were you? Oh wait, I know, you were with Aly. Right? Please tell me I’m wrong, Jake?” He shouted.

  “I lost track of time, man, I’m sorry,” I said, looking each one of them in the face.

  “We’re tired of your sorry’s, man!” Dump roared. “We don’t have time for your love sick shit anymore. There’s too much going on!”

  I looked at Bobby to see his demeanor and he too was strong jawed.

  “I’m here now. Let’s do this…”

  Dump stood from behind his drums so quickly his stool toppled over. “We’re done, man. What’d you think? You can just cruise in here whenever you’re done with your little girlfriend and we’re just gonna wait around for you?”

  “Dude, you know what, I don’t need this shit…”

  “Need this shit?” Dump repeated my words, louder.

  Dump charged me so rapidly I didn’t have time to react. Or maybe I was just shocked with disbelief that he could move that fast. The weight of him forced me to stumble backward, and the full-strength of him wrapped around my neck. He was choking me. I could hear Bobby shouting for him to stop and Devon Weir, our fill-in guitarist yanked desperately at him to release me. I gasped for hair as Dump released my neck and pressed me against the wall by my chest.

  “You little fucking shit. We put up with this long enough. I’m done. Have your chick play drums for you.”

  He released me and I crumbled down, leaning on my knees. Dump apologized to the guys, grabbed his shit and left. I was beyond shaken by what occurred. I staggered going after him, slamming into Bobby and he steadied me.

  “Jake, what’s going on with you?” Bobby asked. I didn’t know how to answer him.

  “Dump!” I shouted. “Dude, please, I’m sorry!”

  I stood at the door watching him walk away. I was in deep shit and didn’t know what to do.

  47

  Jake

  I really thought things with Dump would’ve blown over. Two days had gone by and I’d sent him a million apologies and a really long heartfelt email explaining myself and promised I’d get my shit together. I’d really meant it. I knew I’d been slacking. I knew I’d been taking way too many of those pills too. I swore to myself that I’d stop and took a stab at it the night before. I’d tossed and turned something fierce, finally giving in to snapping one in half. It didn’t really do anything.

  I woke up to an empty house and late for school, again. I rushed onto campus just as the bell rang for break. I’d go to the office later after I met up with Aly.

  I felt sick to my stomach.

  “Are you ok?” she asked concerned as she walked up to me.

  “Not really. This thing with Dump and the band is making me ill, I guess.”

  “You’re perspiring, and it’s not hot. Are you sure you’re not getting sick?” she said, trying to place her hand on my cheek.

  “No,” I snapped, and moved her hand away. “I’m fine. I’m just stressed out and I didn’t sleep good.”

  “Fine,” Aly replied, holding her arms in mock surrender. “But you don’t look ok.”

  “I have a headache.”

  “Here, I have Advil and a Red Bull. These will work.” She smiled and dug in her bag taking out a little white bottle and the silver, red and blue can. “Here.”

  I reached out and tugged her neck toward me, kissing her on the forehead. “Thanks,” I said taking the can of Red Bull. “But I think I’ll need something a little stronger than Advil.”

  I reached into my backpack and took out my own bottle of pain pills, popping one in my mouth and washing it down with the insanely sweet energy drink. “There, that should do it.”

  “What are those?”

  “Vicodin”

  “From what?”

  “From when I broke my hand”

  “Shouldn’t you’ve been done with those by now?”
She asked, and more concern painted her face. “I mean you’ve had your cast off for forever now.”

  “They help me sleep and take the edge off, you know.”

  Aly looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “You take them everyday? Like everyday since you broke your hand?”

  “No, not really…look it’s no big deal.”

  She didn’t look convinced.

  During my last class I didn’t pay any attention to the text from my mother, asking me to come straight home after school. She could wait. I had to pick up a new amp and I wanted to grab Aly when she got out of school. I’d barely made it to the school lot before the bell rang and I waited in my usual spot. I’d sent Aly a text, but she didn’t reply. It wouldn’t have been the first time. I spotted Nadine a short while later and she came straight to my truck.

  “Hey, have you seen Aly?”

  “No, I thought she’d come out with you…”

  ***

  I bolted home and as soon as I came through the door my heart stopped. Everybody I didn’t want to see was gathered in my living room, waiting for me. I looked straight at Dump. “Really?”

  “Jake…” Notting said, and stepped forward.

  “What the hell is this?” I broke in, looking at my mother. “This is all you, isn’t it?”

  “Stop it.” My mother stood up. “This isn’t about just you anymore, Jake.”

  “Where’s Aly?” I said, looking at my mom and Notting, then at Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery, who I couldn’t believe were sitting in front of me. “This is really out of control. Nothing is going on with Aly and I, if that’s what this is about.” I looked straight at Aly’s parents.

  “Jake, take a seat…” Mr. Montgomery said firmly. Those were the last words I wanted to hear and he cleared his throat. He stood up and stretched taller to make a point. That irritated me more, making my heart race faster. I felt like my blood would pour out of my ears any second. “I want to know what’s been going on here,” he said and stepped behind his wife placing his hands on her shoulders. Mrs. Montgomery stared at me like I’d hurt someone, with her eyes sad and her brows twisted with concern. Really?