Justify My Love

by Maria Carter

  "Yes."

  "I need time to process this. And tequila. I'll call you back."

  He hung up. He was hurt, and she knew it. But this felt too right. From the outside, her sudden decision must seem insane, but she knew what she was doing. No one else could feel what she and Eric felt. She finished her coffee and let Timberlake in the house.

  She'd never had a dog before, and there was something to be said about the animal's adoring brown eyes and happy-go-lucky demeanor. She found his presence comforting, and she rubbed him behind the ears to say thank you.

  He didn't care if she'd fallen for a man in less than a week, less than a week after leaving her ex. And he didn't care about her snap decision to move in with that man and his daughter. He just cared about love and food.

  Maybe that was the way every relationship should work.

  Eric hadn't been able to focus all morning. He passed houses he was supposed to pick up scrap from, and he kept asking Karen inventory questions and then forgetting to listen for her reply.

  He'd only been like this twice before—when he'd first met Angela and right after she died. This time the distraction was good; this time he was happy. He felt like he was getting a second chance at something he hadn't had in too long. All he wanted to do right now was see Vanessa. He hadn't wanted to leave her at all that morning; he hadn't wanted to leave the bed they'd shared.

  But life went on, especially with an 11-year-old to send off to school.

  So, instead, he watched the clock until it hit noon and left immediately for lunch. He was nervous. They hadn't gotten to talk in the morning. Had Vanessa meant what she said, or was she just caught up in the moment? Was she sure she could be happy here, that this was the right decision for her? And how would he tell Julia? How would she react?

  He parked in the driveway and adjusted his hat as he approached his own front steps. He stomped on the welcome mat and unlocked the door. Timberlake jumped on him, and Vanessa was close behind. He was barely inside before she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a long kiss on the lips. God, did she smell good. It took him all of two seconds to get lost in the moment, to run his hands along the sides of her body, wanting to touch her, memories of the previous night assaulting his senses.

  "Good to see you, too." He grinned and looked down at her pretty face.

  She had a small smile on her lips, and he had a hunch she was suppressing a larger one. He knew he was. But since they were both here, in each other's arms, and finally able to talk, he thought they'd better get some details sorted out.

  "So I guess we have a few things to discuss," he said.

  Her smile faded.

  "I'm sorry," she said, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She let go of him.

  "For what?"

  "You were just...in the moment last night, weren't you?"

  Was that what she thought? Eric shook his head and smiled again. "No, I meant it. Did you? I'll understand if this isn't something you're ready for."

  Vanessa's rEricef was almost tangible, and it was her turn to shake her head. "I'm sure. I'm happy. I'm happy at a time when I shouldn't be happy. I'm not going to overthink it."

  Her brown eyes were full of feEricng. He landed another kiss on her soft, pliable lips, and her body molded into his immediately, instinctively. But he ended the caress before it could become more.

  "We need to talk about how this is going to work," he told her softly.

  Vanessa nodded and sat down at the kitchen table. Eric joined her.

  "Well," she began, back straight, fingers dancing with an empty coffee mug. "Most of my things are here already. I need to go back to New York for a couple days to tell my parents. I can't give up dance, but I'll try not to spend much time away from you and Julia. And, of course, I want to contribute to the income. More so than when I was with Goe. I never quite felt like I was earning my keep."

  Eric reached across the table and grasped her hand, running his calloused thumb over her smooth flesh. "I'm sure he had a lot to do with that. You don't have to do a damn thing to earn your keep here except be a part of the family."

  Vanessa smiled. "Thanks. But I want to."

  Eric paused, keeping his hand on hers, trying to decide how to broach the next subject. "We need to tell Julia. I don't know how she'll handle it."

  The pretty brunette squeezed his hand, and when he looked into her brown eyes, he found the understanding he'd been hoping for. "I know."

  "How about tonight we celebrate and tomorrow we tell her."

  Vanessa nodded. Eric couldn't keep the grin off his face. He stood to make ham sandwiches. Vanessa got up to help him, and he noticed for the first time she was bare footed today. But she still managed to move like she was floating on air. Her short hair brushed her chin, caressing her skin as she spread mayonnaise. He reached over, moved the strands aside, and kissed her cheek. She smiled.

  "So how do you plan on celebrating?" she asked as he reached in the fridge for sodas.

  "I'll have Sharon watch Julia. And then I'll introduce you to Hickman's bar crowd."

  Vanessa fixed her hair and applied her usual light makeup in the master bath. She didn't bother changing—it was just a bar, after all—but she sat on the bed and put on a pair of strappy sandals. She finished buckling the strap around her ankle and smiled. She was happy. Nothing could kill this elated feEricng.

  She felt an itch on her thigh, where that tiny scab was. She scratched it and realized it wasn't fully attached to her skin. That was strange. She took a closer look to find it wasn't a scab at all—it was a tiny bug embedded in her skin.

  Vanessa screamed.

  Eric burst through the door, looking all around to find the cause of her distress. Julia poked her head in, too, her blue eyes curious and a little frightened.

  "There is something on my thigh," Vanessa managed, holding perfectly still, terrified that the parasite would burrow its way into her flesh and she'd never find it until it floated through her bloodstream to her brain and killed her.

  Eric knelt down and examined her smooth flesh. Vanessa stared at him, waiting for the verdict. To her surprise, he smiled. In fact, he seemed to be holding back laughter. She relaxed, but her cheeks flamed.

  "What?" she asked, annoyed by his reaction.

  "It's a tick, Vanessa."

  Julia didn't bother holding back her mirth. But a fresh terror streaked through Vanessa's veins.

  "Oh, God, I have Lyme Disease!"

  Eric lowered his head so she couldn't see his face, but his shoulders were shaking. She put her hands on her hips. Eric clearly wasn't worried. Julia had grown bored with the whole situation and was watching TV in the living room again.

  "No, Vanessa. It's not a deer tick. And it has to be on you for twenty-four hours, which," he cleared his throat and made sure Julia had indeed exited the room, "it wasn't."

  "Well, how do I get it off, then?"

  He stood, towering over her as usual. "Alcohol and tweezers. I'll take care of it."

  He kissed the top of her head and disappeared into the bathroom. When he returned, he knelt down and pulled the nasty little bug off of her easily, leaving her with an itchy bump and injured pride. He flushed it down the toilet while she grabbed her purse.

  "Ready?" Eric asked, a grin still visible on his lips.

  Vanessa glared but kissed him, partly because it felt so damn good to touch him and partly to wipe the smug look off of his face. He was in his usual jeans and t-shirt, and he followed her out of the room.

  "Let's go, Julia," he said.

  His daughter's eyes were glued to the TV as she grabbed her schoolbag and put on her sneakers. She slowly moved the remote to turn off the screen and finally made it to her father's side. Vanessa's hand reached out, almost of its own accord, to smooth the girl's hair. It was all so simple, so easy.

  Eric held her hand behind Julia' back as they walked to the truck, and she smiled at him. He squeezed her fingers. She'd never felt like this before, not even with G
oe. She had a feEricng it was because it just hadn't been mutual. It was hard to feel giddy and excited about being with someone when they didn't show the same affection. That would never be a problem with Eric. She saw the way he treated the women in his life, from his daughter to Sharon to Tiff at the diner.

  Goe hadn't been awful to her until the day she'd left him, but there had always been doubts in the back of her mind. With Eric, there were none. She had a trust that was almost instinctive. And now that she'd experienced that level of comfort and happiness, she knew she could never settle for anything less.

  Eric put the truck in gear and drove to his former in-laws' house. Julia grabbed her schoolbag and leaned forward to kiss her dad on the cheek before waving to Vanessa and hopping down. Sharon opened the front door and waved as Julia threw her arms around her in greeting.

  "You're gonna be the best-looking girl in the place." Eric gave her a sideways glance and a grin as he backed the truck out of the driveway.

  "Ditto."

  He narrowed his eyes at her, and she winked. Then she glanced in the mirror and shook her hair out, pumping up the volume and checking her lipstick in the dying sunlight.

  "It's not that fancy," Eric said.

  For the first time since she met him, she sensed discomfort.

  "I don't care about that," she said.

  He shrugged. "I just don't know what you're used to."

  Vanessa frowned and considered his point. She generally avoided the smoky dive bars and opted for clubs with bright lights and loud music. But she didn't care where they were going, as long as she was with him and he was happy to have her there.

  "If I'm with you, I'll have a great time."

  Tom didn't know what to think. Although he'd lived most of his life in New York without knowing of Vanessa's existence, he couldn't imagine it without her now. He already missed their shopping trips and nightly phone calls. He missed the rEricability of having a date even if he didn't have a date.

  He'd been jealous of this Eric guy to begin with, and now that she'd fallen for him, he was crushed. Did she even care what she was leaving behind? He knew her. She couldn't survive outside of New York. She was just scared and running. And there was only one way to bring her back to her senses.

  Tom lay in bed with his nightly glass of wine, looking through his stylish thick-framed glasses at the screen of his laptop. He didn't have anything going on for the next two days that couldn't be rescheduled, so he used the internet and the information Vanessa divulged to find out where she was. He knew Eric's name, and he knew the man owned a salvage yard. After a few Google searches, he located Summers Salvage and the business address. His house—and Vanessa—couldn't be far away.

  In no time, Tom had an airline ticket and a rental car reservation. He finished his glass of wine and got up to pack a small suitcase. He was going to bring Vanessa back to where she belonged, whether she liked it or not.

  Chapter Ten

  Vanessa had gotten along great with most of Eric's friends. One woman, Ally, seemed less-than-thrilled Eric had a new woman in his life, but whether that was due to jealousy or concern for Julia, she couldn't be sure. One thing she was sure of, Eric paid absolutely no attention to her. He had that much confidence in Vanessa and their future together.

  After a late night and another passionate interlude, Vanessa had slept in again. She'd exercised and had her coffee, and now she was waiting for Eric to come home for lunch. She'd begun to count on their mid-day meetings.

  Vanessa adjusted her embellished, sleeveless top and tousled her chin-length hair while she waited in the kitchen. Her eyes fell to her nails. She'd need a manicure soon. Where could she get a manicure around here?

  A knock on the door broke her out of her thoughts, and she had to stop herself from running to answer it. Butterflies fluttered in the pit of her stomach. She was becoming increasingly and ridiculously giddy when it came to seeing him. But she hesitated before turning the doorknob. Why would Eric knock on his own front door?

  She peeked through the window and found an unfamiliar car sitting in the driveway. The man on the porch, however, was very familiar. Suspicion overwhelmed the pleasure she should feel at seeing her best friend. She opened the door.

  "Tom? What are you doing here?"

  "It's good to see you, too."

  She continued waiting for an answer. Sure enough, Tom's lips pursed in a no-nonsense expression.

  "You're coming back to New York. I don't care about your car; we can come back for it or have someone drive it up. You're losing your mind down here."

  There it was, just what Vanessa had been expecting. As much as he might not want to admit it, Tom hated being alone, and he'd never really found a friend or a more-than-friend he clicked with as well as Vanessa. But it still hurt to hear her best friend say he didn't support her choices. Vanessa narrowed her eyes.

  "You came all this way just to tell me that?"

  "I came all this way to make sure you listen. And to bring you back myself if I have to, which, by the looks of it, I will."

  "I'm not going anywhere."

  The crunch of gravel sounded in the driveway, and Vanessa glanced at Eric's truck as he parked beside Tom's rental. He got out, looking wary, trying to determine if the guest was a welcome one. His concern for her was just one more thing to love. Tom looked behind him, finally getting to see Vanessa's love interest for himself. She waited for his reaction as Eric made his way to the front stoop.

  "Okay, he's hot. In a Dierks Bentley kind of way. But that's not enough to build a relationship on."

  Eric hadn't heard, and Vanessa decided to wait on answering until Eric was safely inside.

  "Eric, this is Tom. Tom, Eric," she said.

  Eric grasped the other man's hand firmly in his. Tom played nice and returned the gesture.

  "I'll be right in," Vanessa told the taller man.

  He nodded, taking his cap off and running a hand through his blond hair as he went. Vanessa bit her lip as she watched him go. He was dEriccious.

  "Look, Vanessa, if you were in my shoes, what would you think? Besides 'Damn, I look good in these shoes'? We used to make fun of people for falling head over heels in two days."

  He had a point. Vanessa glanced back to where Eric had disappeared through the door.

  "Maybe we were wrong." She shrugged. "Maybe love at first sight is just something you have to experience to bEriceve."

  "You're in love now?"

  Tom was skeptical. Vanessa's cheeks burned. She shouldn't be getting the third degree from her best friend.

  "Look, Tom," she began, anger and defensiveness overpowering her calm. "I did everything right with Goe. I met him in an appropriate place at an appropriate time. I made him wait for sex. We waited a year to move in together. We planned and budgeted and did everything smart couples planning for a future together do."

  Her voice threatened to crack as she recounted the disastrous relationship. She took a deep breath. "And you see how that turned out. Maybe it is crazy, but I'm happy. Happier than I ever was with Goe. Just let me be happy."

  Tom studied her for a moment, his handsome face far from excited but a little more accepting.

  "I'm coming back for a few days when my car's ready, to tell my parents and the kids I tutor," she said. "I'll still dance. I'll still see you. I'll be back."

  "I don't like it."

  "I know." Vanessa stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her friend.

  He grudgingly returned the gesture. "I haven't seen a Starbucks since I left the airport. I don't know how you'll survive."

  "Lots of black coffee. Come on. We'll have lunch."

  Eric didn't seem quite able to wrap his head around the man sitting in front of him. With his vintage brown leather jacket, white v-neck tee, and sandblasted jeans, he was the most fashionably-dressed man Vanessa had encountered so far in Hickman. She wasn't sure if Eric had noticed the perfectly-waxed eyebrows or the manicured nails. But Tom was a model. Looks were his
job. Eric glanced down at his own calloused, grease-stained hands wrapped around a grilled cheese sandwich. Yep. He'd noticed.

  Timberlake sat next to Tom's chair, wagging his tail and staring, anxiously waiting to be petted. Tom looked down at the dog and finally gave him a few pats on the head. He was not a dog person. All in all, both men felt out of their element, and Vanessa wanted to fix it. First step: breaking the silence.

  "I'm hoping my car will be done in a few days. Then I'll head back up to New York and tell Mom and Dad what's going on."

  "Sounds good," Eric said easily.

  Tom nodded as he took a bit of grilled cheese but didn't say anything. Vanessa had a hunch he was invoking the If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all rule. She poked at the salad in front of her.

  "So how did you and Vanessa meet?" Eric asked.

  Tom glanced at Vanessa, and then settled his eyes on the handsome Virginian. "We had a modEricng gig together. It was her first one, and I liked her, so I took her under my wing. We started hanging out, trying to get each other in on auditions and go-sees. Our friendship just grew from there. Over time. After years and years of learning one another's habits and faults and—ow!"

  Vanessa gave him a sharp kick under the table and rolled her eyes, quickly deciding that silence was the preferable option. Eric didn't seem bothered and continued the conversation.

  "Is this your first time in Virginia?"

  "Virginia, yes. The south, no. Sadly, I was raised in Kentucky. But I moved to New York at seventeen and haven't left since. Except, of course, for jobs. But that's usually to California or Europe or Cape Town..."

  He trailed off, a dreamy smile on his lips. Vanessa rolled her eyes again. Tom loved the glitz and glamour, and she let him bask in the memories. At twenty-eight, he couldn't be sure how much longer his career would last.

  "So when's your flight out?" Vanessa asked innocently.

  "I'll leave when you leave," he answered. "I have nothing to do for the next few days, and at least this way I'll know for sure you intend to come back. Maybe I'll even figure out what the hell it is that makes you want to stay here."