The Rise (The Alexa Montgomery Saga)

by Gordon, H. D.

  I turned toward the door that led inside the cabin, my eyes cast down at the ground, the weight that had fallen on my shoulders suddenly feeling too immense. “I don’t know about the others,” I said quietly. “But I think what you’re talking about is just my way of trying to make peace with the pieces inside me, to let two things that oppose each other live in some kind of harmony, but I don’t expect that to make any kind of sense to you. It doesn’t even really make sense to me.”

  “Sure it does, Alexa,” he whispered behind me, as I pulled open the door and stepped inside. Before it closed behind me I heard him say it again. “Sure it does.”

  And then I was heading down the glass tube hallway to the one that led back to the bedroom. Now I thought of Kayden again. And the last piece of my heart broke.

  Alexa

  I stopped when I came to the green door. Something told me that Kayden was on the other side, waiting for me, maybe had been for hours. I placed my hand on the doorknob, but made no move to open the door. I just leaned my forehead against it and closed my eyes.

  Of all the things I had to do, this was by far the hardest. Giving my life for Nelly didn’t feel as bad as you would think. It didn’t even really shock me that that was the only way to save her. I felt I had always somehow known it would come down this, and it was something that I accepted almost easily, if not a little bitterly. The hard part would be leaving Kayden behind, telling him that I loved him and turning around and breaking his heart.

  Maybe you won’t have to. Maybe he doesn’t love you as much as you think.

  “Doesn’t matter either way. He’s my Libra. When I die, he will hurt.”

  Gathering the last of my courage around me, I straightened and pushed the door open into the darkness of the room. Taking a deep breath, I stepped inside and closed the door behind me. The room was silent. My eyes went to the bed first, hoping to find Kayden there under the covers, sleeping. The bed was flat and tightly made. Empty.

  And then he was in front of me, having seemingly appeared out of thin air, and his warm, strong arms were around me, his hands wrapping in the braid in my hair. His body pressed up against mine, forcing my back to the door. Then his lips found mine in the darkness, and his kiss was gentle and almost painfully contained. I heard myself moan a little at the feel of his heartbeat so close to my own, the skin of his bare chest almost hot against the thin fabric of my dress. My Gladius fell from my hand and hit the floor by our feet.

  Everything I had been thinking about a moment ago left my mind instantly. All I could concentrate on was Kayden; the way his calloused hands were sliding over my skin leading trails of fire, the force of his body against mine, the feel of his soft lips. The world melted away into nothing, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulled him against me as hard as I could. A growl, almost murderous, rumbled up his throat and vibrated against my lips. His hands slid down to the front of my dress, and there was a tearing sound as he ripped the fabric right down the middle, then slid the sleeves down my arms slowly, making me shiver. The ruined dress fell to the floor in a puddle of silver around my feet.

  My heart was pounding hard enough to break through my ribs when Kayden’s fingers dug into the bare skin at the back of my thighs and lifted me up the way he had last night. My legs wrapped around his waist and held there for dear life. My head fell back as his fingers broke the band holding my braid together and then unwound my hair in three swift motions. I shook my head, and my dark hair spilled out over my shoulders. Kayden pulled back a little and looked at me. His golden eyes nearly glowed in darkness of the room, burning with a fire so intense that it seemed it had blazed there forever, and always would. His fangs were pushing out over his lips, which were parted slightly as the air rapidly filled his lungs. And then he sank them into the soft skin on my neck.

  I cried out when they slid into me, but it was not a cry of pain, even though Kayden had not been in the least gentle. My hands wrapped themselves into his hair and held him to me where he took my blood. I stared up at the ceiling as he drank, my eyes slipping closed as ecstasy rode through me in thick waves. His arms were so tight around me that I ceased to be able to breathe, and that was just fine.

  Then I was falling, and my back landed on the soft bed, crushed there with all of Kayden’s enormous weight on top of me. He lifted himself up, a worried expression seizing his features as he propped himself up on his hands over me. His voice was the growl of an animal. “Did I hurt you?”

  I stared up into his golden eyes, wondering if my voice would work when I opened my mouth. “Are you kidding?” I asked, taking ragged breaths.

  His eyes trailed down my body, over the rising and falling swell of my chest, and down further still. I arched my back, and his warm hand slipped under me. His fingers found the clasp of my bra and flicked it open as he brought his head down and licked at the blood that was still trickling down my neck, his soft hair brushing my cheek. I shuddered and pulled him down on top of me again, not caring that the weight of him was probably enough to crush bones. Not caring about anything at all.

  I wrapped my legs around him again, feeling the hardness of him all over me. Heat was spreading through me like forest fire in the heart of summer. I realized that the only thing between us now was my bra and my underwear, and I pushed Kayden up again and pulled my arms free of the bra’s straps. Kayden snatched it and tossed it aside.

  Now he stared only into my eyes, though I lay almost as naked as the day I was born beneath him. I was surprised by how comfortable I felt, how right. I had never spent much time thinking about what my first time would be like, but I had always thought I would be at least a little scared. It was impossible to be, though. I couldn’t be afraid with Kayden’s arms around me, his skin pressed against every inch of my own. I couldn’t be anything but grateful. At least I would get to have him once, if never again. It would have to be enough, and yet it never could.

  I reached my hands behind his neck and pulled him down to me again, finding his lips with my own. He tasted like blood and sunshine and sweet things, and my heart seemed to be swelling to ten times its size in my chest. I dug my fingers into the scarred skin of his wide back, felt his hard muscles moving underneath them. Then his hands were at my hips, his rough thumbs hooking into the sides of my panties, and I was so anxious that I was sure I was just going to die.

  Kayden sat up then, still between my now quivering legs, still with his hands on my hips, and looked down at me. My eyes travelled down his body, the hard lines of his abdomen and further down some more. When I looked back up at his face I knew that he was ready for me, he was just waiting silently for me to tell him that it was okay.

  I didn’t have to think. I bit my lip, reached my hands out and trailed my fingers over the ridged muscles of his stomach. His tawny hair had fallen loose of its short ponytail, and now fell around his face like the mane of a lion. He was wearing nothing but a pair of black shorts that were bulging thickly right below his navel. I met his eyes, trying to memorize the sight of them now, because the look in them was one I had never seen before, and may never get to see again. It spoke of endless love and hunger and pain. It turned out that I did have a heart left in me, and it proved it to me by burning and breaking in my chest now. I looked down at where Kayden’s thumbs were still hooked around the last piece of clothing that hid me from him, and nodded my consent.

  Instead of sliding the garment down my legs, Kayden growled again and tore them into two worthless pieces and tossed them aside. Then his black shorts slid down and he kicked them away in one rapid, fluid motion. Then him, just him, was on top of me again.

  My fangs slid into his neck at the exact same moment that he slid into me, seeming to fill me up inside somehow way beyond physically. He did not handle me with caution, as I’d feared he might. Kayden seemed to know that I could take everything he had to give me, and held nothing back, either because he was unable to, or just because he knew that I would not want it any other way. We were both Warrior
s, both accustomed to taking a beating, both long-time friends with pain. And my bite was not gentle, either. I had never felt a pain as sweet as this, and I got the feeling that neither had he.

  It seemed to last a lifetime, and soon the pain was replaced with the most intense pleasure I had ever known. My head seemed to be spinning, reeling with the knowledge that my Libra, my Kayden was inside me and that we were one at last. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, any more perfect, my body came to a point where it was impossible to keep silent, where I thought I really might be dying of pure bliss, and I cried out his name.

  He finished with me, pulling back a little while pushing forward as far as he could go at the same time. His golden, sunrise eyes stared down at me, and the sight of them hurt my heart so badly that I had to shut my eyes. I could hear his ragged breaths as he lay down beside me and pulled me close to him, wrapping his arms around me and stroking the top of my hair with his fingers.

  We lay there in the darkness, his heart beating softly beneath my ear and my hands splayed out on his smooth chest. After a very long time, he spoke, and his words made the awfulness of the situation he had made me forget that I was still facing hit me in the face like a bucket of freezing water.

  “At least I got to have you once, Alexa,” he said. “I can live knowing that.”

  Alexa

  Those were the only words that were spoken between us. There was so much left to be said, but as I heard Kayden’s breathing grow deep and steady beside me, I thought that maybe it was better not to voice it all, to just let the last moment retain its beauty, to not allow it to be spoiled by nasty truths.

  Sleep did not find me so easily, though, and I lay there staring at the ceiling feeling wonderful about having Kayden so close and wretched about allowing myself to feel wonderful. Eventually, moving very carefully so that I wouldn’t disturb Kayden, I untangled myself from him and slipped off the bed. The moon outside the window was more than enough to see by, and I grabbed my old jeans and t-shirt and put them on. After a moment of staring at my old tennis shoes, I took the boots Sasha had gotten me and slipped those on, too. Retrieving my Gladius from the floor by the door, I tucked it in the back of my jeans and slipped out, casting one last glance at Kayden, who hadn’t stirred in the least.

  The night air was cool and pleasant against my sweat-damped skin, and I thought that a walk in the moonlight was something that I could definitely use. I found myself setting off on a red path that ringed around the perimeter of the city. As I stared out at the field of grass beyond that was part of the human world, I thought about how my life used to be when I was part of that world, how much easier and simpler it had been, despite the trainings my Mother had put me through.

  Of course, I also thought about the deal I’d made today, the words the Seer had said to me. The deal is struck, and so you are bound, as you will be for the rest of eternity. Yikes, that didn’t sound good.

  Yikes? You go and sell our soul and your response is “yikes?” You really have lost it, Warrior.

  “One, just one little walk without your input. Is that too much to ask?”

  I was answered with a grumble and then silence. I continued my slow walk down the path. If I squinted hard enough, I could see the lights of some human city far off in the distance. It was almost like the land in the Outlands was elevated above the land in the other world, though I was standing atop no hill, and when I had been on the outside looking in, the land had looked flat. I wondered at how that was even possible, at how any of it was possible, and thought that I would probably die soon without having the answers to countless questions. But that was okay, a mercy even, because the more I learned about this world, the more I wished I didn’t know.

  Then, a cool, tingling sensation shot up my back, and I stopped in my tracks, my body going rigid, my ears perking up. I reached behind me and retrieved my Gladius, which sent more tingles through my hand where I held it. I tightened my grip and the blade shot out from the end of it, brilliantly silver in the moonlight and devastatingly lethal in my hand. I had learned to trust my Gladius and its intuitions, as strange as that may have sounded. And right now, it was telling me that danger was lurking.

  I scanned the scene around me; the cottages, the trees and the gardens. There seemed to be nothing amiss.

  You’re looking the wrong way, Warrior. The threat can’t be inside the city. No one who means harm can enter here. Sheesh, if you want to take walks all by yourself like a big girl, you gotta remember to look both ways before you cross the street.

  I spun back around toward the field, ignoring my Monster’s sarcasm, mainly because it was right, and I did feel a teeny bit stupid. And then I saw him, just an all black figure hidden in the shadows of nighttime, walking through the tall grass of the field. He was approaching the invisible wall to the city, walking slowly, and two eyes the color of Wolf-gold stared back at me. I tipped my head back and inhaled deeply. I was downwind, so the Wolf’s scent carried to me strong and clear. Then my broken heart leapt in my chest and I was off running, not thinking at all, just running, past the barrier and into the field and out of the Outlands. And he opened his arms when I reached him and caught me up in hug.

  And Jackson’s touch was as familiar and as warm as I ever remembered, but my Gladius, dangling from my hand that was wrapped around his back, holding him to me, had gone icy cold.

  Alexa

  I pulled back from Jackson, my brows furrowed in confusion. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  And why did the sword react like that?

  Jackson’s face was grave, his green eyes more serious than I had ever seen them. Despite my Monster whispering that something was off about him, I reached up and touched his arm. This was Jackson we were talking about here. “Are you okay, Jackson?”

  He shook off my touch, and I drew back as if he’d hit me. “I can smell him on you,” he said. No emotion whatsoever rode the words.

  I felt my cheeks heating even though there were about a billion questions flying through my head. Guilt came over me so thick that I thought it might suffocate me, because I didn’t seem to be breathing. When I had hoped I’d get to see Jackson again I had imagined the encounter going several ways, but never had I thought that it would be like this. Of course he could smell Kayden on me. Hell, I could still smell Kayden on me.

  I opened my mouth. “Jackson, I—”

  He held up his hand. “Please, don’t,” he said. His voice lowered. “Just don’t.”

  I stared at him, my eyes burning, though still no tears fell. I couldn’t bear the way his green eyes were looking at me, having lost the Wolf-gold glow when I’d hugged him. He was dressed like the same old Jackson, just jeans and a blue flannel shirt, his hair was the same reddish-brown that stuck out of his head in a strange way that was oddly attractive, he even smelled like the same old Jackson, but the look on his face was that of a stranger’s.

  Why, grandma, what big teeth you have.

  I took another step back from him, my cold grip tightening again around my sword, my watery eyes narrowing. “What are you doing here, Jackson? Tell me.”

  “I’m here to take you to your sister,” he said plainly.

  My breath caught in my throat. I swallowed. “You know where Nelly is?”

  He gave a curt nod. “Yes. And that’s the only question I’m going to answer.” Then Jackson turned around and began heading back the way he’d come. “So you can come or not. I don’t care.” He stopped and turned back to look at me with cold green eyes. “But don’t talk to me about him. In fact, just don’t say anything to me at all. That’s the only way I’ll take you to her. Got it?”

  How many times can my heart be broken in one day? I wondered. But I just nodded.

  Jackson spun around and headed off again, and I ran to keep up with him, half grateful and half devastated that I’d left the ring Kayden had given me on the table by the bedside back in the room.

  Nelly

  My Queen, if you
go to the city now you will not beat the daylight back here.

  I looked over at Carianna. Her black eyes were wide and shiny, her red lips down-turned, the color of fresh blood, striking against her pale skin and flawless face, shocks of red hair blowing out behind her. The white dress she wore was stained with blood, not hers, of course, but human blood from our last hunt. The smell of it carried to me on the cold wind, making my stomach rumble its emptiness. I smiled at her now and reached up to stroked Carianna’s face with the backs of my fingers. Her skin was like cold marble, and mine slid over it like drops of salt water. I sighed and dropped my hand, looking out over the land beneath me. I was sitting on the edge of the mountain’s cliff, my legs dangling over the nothingness. The thrum of souls beyond calling out to me, and yet I didn’t want to go. There was nothing there that I wanted.

  “Do not fear for me,” I told her. “The sun will not harm me. I must go.”

  And will you come back?