The Rise (The Alexa Montgomery Saga)

by Gordon, H. D.

  “I don’t know.”

  We sat in silence for a long while. Above us the night sky was dotted with thousands of stars. The breeze that carried this high up was sharp, cuttingly cold, and it seemed to have seeped all the way through my bones, for I too, felt frozen, though I did not shiver. Carianna was the only one of my pack who had not gone out for the night to hunt. I had sent the others on without me, because I knew that no matter how much I fed on what waited there, the burning hunger in my soul would not be satisfied.

  What will you find there, when you go to the city? What is it you are searching for, my Queen?

  I stared out over the dark land. Something was coming. Maybe it was the thing I had been waiting for, maybe it wasn’t, but I would go to meet it either way. I would go. “I will know when I find it.”

  And then I slipped over the mountain’s edge and floated down through the darkness to the land below. My feet the met the earth and I was off, heading toward where my soul led me, wondering if what I’d told Carianna was true, though it didn’t matter either way.

  The sun will not harm me.

  A voice I knew I recognized, but had no face or name or feeling attached to it followed on the heels of that.

  Drink the sun, Child of the Night. Drink the sun.

  Yes.

  Alexa

  I’m not someone who is good at keeping my mouth shut when I feel strongly enough about something. Not asking questions when I really want to know the answers is even harder for me. So sitting in the jeep Jackson had led me to, racing down the highway back toward Two Rivers—though he hadn’t told me that’s where we were headed, I’d just figured—and not demanding answers from him was almost torturous for me. I think I might have considered cutting off my pinky toe just to be given the opportunity to shake the crap out of Jack, to slap him in the face and tell him to snap out of this craziness that seemed to have taken hold of him.

  But that wasn’t all I wanted to do. I wanted to reach out and put my hand over his, to hug him, hold him, maybe, even for just a moment, and have him look at me the way he always had, with love and acceptance and understanding. I wanted so much to see the Jackson I’d left only days ago, that felt like a lifetime ago, standing in his dorm room in just his boxers with sleep-rumpled hair, telling me he loved me.

  I couldn’t do any of those things. I couldn’t even tell him that I was sorry, so damn sorry about how I’d hurt him, how I’d betrayed him with Kayden, about how my chest ached when I looked at him now, with his hands gripping the steering wheel and his green eyes staring coldly out of the windshield at the dark road ahead.

  It was impossible, with the darkness rushing by outside my window, with the palpable silence hanging in the jeep’s interior, not to think about how much had changed over the past few days, not to think about how much I’d lost. I couldn’t help but wonder what my life would have been like if Olivia had never sent us to Two Rivers, if instead she’d told me to take my sister somewhere and hide, like my Mother had done us for years. I tried to tell myself that that would have been no good either, that a life of running and cowering and hiding was no life at all, but if we could pick our miseries, I really would pick the other one.

  And, despite the fact that it made me feel like a terrible, worthless person, I wondered if all of this could have been avoided if I’d not gone off to Dangeon to rescue my Mother. I wondered if I could have stopped the darkness from overcoming Nelly, had I been there like I was supposed to. My Monster insisted that it would have happened eventually, but I wasn’t so sure I could believe that.

  Besides, a lot of good breaking into Dangeon had done me. My Mother had died anyway, and it was impossible now not to think about how she’d died, about who had more than likely killed her. I thought about how Kayden had hummed Danny Boy to me as I sat crying by her graveside, mostly because I hated myself so much for not caring more about the fact that she was gone. But I couldn’t help it. When I thought of my Mother, I thought of the trainings she’d put me through as a child, about how I had thought of them more as beatings until I became old enough to hurt her back with my blows. I thought about the black eyes and long-sleeved shirts I’d had to wear to cover the bruises she left on me, about how eventually, somewhere along the line, she had turned me into the cold, calloused person I was today. I thought about her always being hard on me, and soft on Nelly, as if Nelly was the only one who mattered.

  I guessed that was one of the only things we ever really agreed on, me and my Mother.

  I also thought about the fact that I was more than likely only hours away from my death, and about how I had always sort of expected an untimely demise, but never, ever had I thought that my sister would be the one who would deliver it to me.

  So, as much as I would have liked, I would not question Jack on his motives or on anything else. I would go quietly to where he was taking me, to my sister, because it was the only thing left in my control. If I had to go out, I would do it with some pride and dignity intact, not crying and screaming like some child. I was done fighting, and as empty as that made me feel, it was also a relief. The time had come to cash in the chips and pay my debts. I was ready for that, I thought. As ready as I could be. At least all the pain would be over.

  And so you are bound, as you will be for the rest of eternity.

  Or maybe it wouldn’t be. Maybe my very existence was dependent on pain and suffering. It just didn’t matter anymore. My Monster was right. I’d made the decision, signed the contract with my own blood, and now all I had to do was make peace with it.

  And then you must let her drink from you, drink from you until your veins run dry and your tether with this world is forever broken.

  Yeah, that too.

  Kayden

  He hadn’t been sleeping. As soon as she had stirred, gently disentangling from his arms, he had felt the loss of her. He’d lain quietly while she’d put on her clothes and slipped out the door, fighting against the urge to follow after her in attempt to let her have her space. Now, he had to keep telling himself that Alexa was strong, definitely capable of taking care of herself, but it did no good.

  He had thought that she was just going for a walk, but it had been twenty minutes and she hadn’t come back. That certainly wasn’t an unreasonable amount of time for a stroll, but something in his gut told him that the longer he waited for her in this room, the farther away from him she was moving, and that was no good. That wouldn’t do at all.

  Kayden had gotten up and dressed quickly, only pausing when he saw the ring he’d given her sitting on the nightstand beside the bed. This had made his heart drop. It was a feeling he had only come to know after he had met Alexa, a thing that only she could make him experience. He cursed himself for not having been able to control himself, for taking her the way he had when he knew that she was vulnerable, even if she insisted on denying it. If she had run off into some danger, surely it was his fault. First, he had left her by herself, all by herself to deal with everything that was happening to her because he couldn’t bear to look at her knowing he could lose her so soon. Then, when she’d come back to the room, he’d all but attacked her in his lack of self-control. She could very well hate him right now, and he wouldn’t blame her.

  He scooped the ring up and dropped it into the front pocket of his jeans, and then he was out the door. Kayden tried very hard to keep the panic that was rising in him on some sort of leash, but he could feel the sweat starting to pour out from him as he dashed around the city looking for her, feeling no telltale sensation in his chest letting him know that Alexa was anywhere near.

  He went back to the lake, the one the Fae had led him to earlier today after he had left Alexa in the sitting room. Kayden had figured that the Seer would see him, but he didn’t think that he would be called before Alexa, and he hated that she probably thought he had just left her to fend for herself for those hours that had seemed like minutes when he’d been in that white, white room. He didn’t in the least regret the decision he’d
made, the blood contract that he somehow knew he would be bound to, despite the fact that no one had ever proven its truth, and he would do it again. If Alexa were bound and determined to sell her soul to some unknown force of the afterlife, he would go there with her. Always.

  But she didn’t know this, and that was a good thing. She would blame herself if she knew what he had done, and she blamed herself enough for things that weren’t her fault already. The only bad thing about it was now that she was gone, he had a sinking feeling that he may never get to tell her these things, that he may never get to tell her how much she meant to him, how he would love her even if she weren’t a Sun Warrior and he a Libra, how he would follow her to the ends of the universe and beyond. He hadn’t gotten to prove to her his devotion and love. But, maybe, if he moved quickly, it wouldn’t be too late. Maybe he still could.

  He found himself standing back in Silvia’s cottage in front of the red door. Kayden banged on it until it opened, not caring at all that his knocks were thunderous enough to wake the devil. A few moments later, a very annoyed looking Tommy opened the door and quirked an eyebrow at Kayden, rubbing sleep away from his eyes.

  “Wallace, what—”

  Kayden cut him off, grabbing Tommy by his shirt front in his desperation. “She’s gone,” he said.

  Tommy only stared at him for a moment, and then he was racing around the room, throwing on clothes and grabbing the keys to his Mercedes off the nightstand. Kayden waited in the doorway, barking at Tommy to hurry the hell up. And then they were out the door and through the city and the field of grass beyond and Tommy was gunning the Mercedes’ engine.

  “Where did she go?” Tommy asked. “How are we supposed to find her?”

  Kayden growled, his hands digging into the leather dashboard and making deep dents there. “Where do you think she went?” he asked. “She’s gone to save her sister.”

  He had to stop himself from slamming Tommy’s head into the steering wheel when the boy’s blue eyes lit up with hope. It made him angry beyond belief that everyone was so damn willing to let Alexa die for her sister, as though her life was nothing more than a bargaining chip. If he didn’t know that he never would have been able to stop her, he wouldn’t have let her go to the Seer. He wished so badly that he had followed her when she’d left the room before. He wished he could confirm that he wasn’t about to send Tommy heading in the wrong direction, but there was nowhere else he could think of that she would go.

  And he had a gut feeling that the King was behind all this, whatever this was, orchestrating it all somehow from the sidelines, pulling them all into some final plot where he could watch them destroy themselves and laugh and maybe eat some popcorn while he was at it. If these things were true, then if he found the King, he might be able to find Alexa before she did whatever the Seer had instructed her to do, maybe do it for her if he could. In his experience, the best place to look for something was always the last place you saw it.

  “Head toward Two Rivers,” Kayden said. He nodded toward the speedometer. “And don’t let that needle fall short of 130.”

  Alexa

  We were cutting our way through the Pine Barrens on the dirt road that led to Two Rivers. So I had been right, this was where Jackson was taking me. I’d tried to tell myself that it wasn’t true, that maybe he would veer off at any moment and take me somewhere else, but there was no way to deny it now, and this made very hurtful realizations come to me, though I really had no right to feel betrayed by Jackson.

  He’s been working for the King this whole time, the traitor. Look at him. He won’t even look at you, Warrior.

  “I don’t know that. Maybe he’s just being controlled by the King. Maybe he can’t help what he’s doing, just like Nelly can’t help whatever it is that she’s doing. We don’t know anything yet.”

  That’s bullshit, and you know it.

  Jackson had been flying down the highway, pushing the car well above the speed limit, and I could see the sky lightening with morning now, though no sun was peeking over the horizon. It would be soon, maybe another ten minutes or so.

  I felt oddly like I was waiting in line for a roller coaster, though I had only ever been on one in my entire life. My Mother hadn’t been big on things like that. But I did get to go once, at this place called Barrels o’ fun, and I remembered perfectly the anxiousness that had made sweat as I’d stood staring up at the enormous ride with its drops and twists and circles. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling, and I’d waited in line that day with Nelly, because I knew she wanted to go so badly, pretending that the screams of the people in the carts that ran along the coaster’s tracks didn’t unnerve me. And all I’d wanted was to get myself buckled in and get it over with. And that’s pretty much exactly how I felt now.

  For a moment, I forgot that I wasn’t supposed to say anything, and the words came tumbling out of my mouth before I could stop them. “Nelly is here?”

  Jackson’s jaw tightened, but he nodded, still staring ahead. “She will be soon, if she isn’t already,” he amended, and the chill in his voice almost made me shiver.

  I don’t know if it was last minute panic over my pending doom, or just the fact that I needed to hear someone’s voice right now, but I spoke again. “Jack,” I said quietly. “I hope you know that I never meant to hurt you.”

  I had expected him to yell, but instead, he threw back his head and laughed, and somehow, that was much worse. “Of course you didn’t,” he snarled, the laugh dying in his throat. “I should have known better than to fall in love with you. He told me you would break my heart, but I didn’t want to believe him. But he was right, just like he always is.”

  “Who told you that, Jack?” My voice was very small, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer to that question, but now that he was talking, I had to ask.

  “My father,” he spat. “He said you could never love me the way you love him. He said that I was just your play thing, like a cute puppy to keep you busy for a while. I told him that that wasn’t true, that you wouldn’t do that to me, and he said to go see for myself, that I could answer my own questions, all I had to do was find you. I didn’t believe it.” He slapped himself on the forehead with one hand, hard, twice. Then he gripped the steering wheel, like he was trying to strangle the life out of it. “And when I saw you, and you came running to me, I thought to myself that for once he had been wrong, that you did love me. But that was all just a bunch of bullshit, wasn’t it? Don’t even bother trying to tell me that it wasn’t, because I could smell him all over you.”

  Jackson looked at me now, the first time he had looked at me since we’d been back in the field, and his eyes were Wolf-gold and his teeth were bared. In my grip, my Gladius went cold all over again, but as if sensing that I would never use it to harm Jackson, the blade stayed within its sheath.

  I swallowed around the enormous lump that had formed in my throat. “I do love you, Jack,” I said, and it sounded weak even to my own ears. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I don’t know how I can prove that to you.”

  He snorted, and it was an ugly sound. “Why bother?” he said. “You know as well as I do the reason I’m taking you to your sister. You know what she’ll do to you when she sees you. She’s going to kill you, and I think that maybe the world will be better off for it.” Jack’s voice cracked on that last part, but conviction was thick in what he had said.

  I learned then that there is no limit to how much hurt the universe could dish out, that the heart that beat in me would mend itself together again a thousand times just for the purpose of shattering into pieces again. I felt like screaming then, like screaming and tearing at my hair like the crazy person that I was, but I just sat there and said nothing. There was nothing to say to something like that, except for maybe to ask the person who said it if he really meant it. And there was no point in asking that now, because it was clear that Jackson did. Jackson meant every word he said.

  And I couldn’t say that I entirely disagree
d with him.

  Somewhere, though, amidst all of his dagger words and hurtful revelations, something didn’t make sense to me. Maybe my assumption about who Jack was referring to when he said his father was wrong. “How can the King be your father? He’s a Searcher.” I said.

  A very wolf-like growl ripped up Jackson’s throat, and it carried through to his words. “How can Nelly be your sister?” he snapped sarcastically. “She’s a Lamia.”

  And that shut me right up. A flash of anger went through me and I had to bite down on my tongue to keep myself from punching Jackson in the face. I think I preferred the silence to talking to whoever this person was pretending to be my Jackson.

  And that’s your problem, Warrior. He’s not yours. He never was.

  “That doesn’t mean I don’t love him. It’s possible to love more than just one person at the same time”

  I don’t think that would make him feel any better.

  Jackson stopped the car, and the air in front of the windshield shimmered. Now I stared up at the tall stone wall that hid Two Rivers, the wide river that flanked it, and the draw bridge that allowed one access to the city. Except the draw bridge was already lowered over the river, as if it had been left open for us, and I was struck with a sense that something was horribly amiss. I had never seen the bridge left open before. Jack pulled the jeep forward slowly, across the bridge, and into the city. And I stared out the window as a fear so total that is was beyond that. It was terror and horror and the thoughts of a dead man walking.