by Sarah Bailey
I’d be patient and wait for my ultimate prize. And it would be Aurora Knox giving herself over to me.
“I knew you were callous from the moment I laid eyes on you. Your heart is as cold as your eyes, you know that? I’d hate to think of you waiting for me so don’t bother. I’m not coming back. Hell will freeze over before I allow you to touch me again. Go fuck yourself, Logan Benson.”
Then she walked around me, unlocked my office door and strode out.
Aurora Knox might think she’d got the last word between us. I let her believe it to be the case. But she was lying. She was lying to me and herself. She would be back. And then she’d be mine.
Part II
forsake
verb, for·sak·en, for·sak·ing.
to quit or leave entirely; abandon; desert.
Chapter Thirteen
One and a half years later
The music thumped through the speakers, vibrating across my skin as Colleen and I moved together. The lights in the room flashed in time with the sounds. I was lost in the beat and the light buzz of alcohol. This was exactly what I needed. To let loose and be free.
If my dad could see me and my best friend right now, he’d have a fit. I might be eighteen, but I was still in school. I only had a couple of months left. It wouldn’t matter though. Being in a club on a Friday night would not be approved of. My parents thought I was spending the night at Colleen’s. Her parents were away. They had no idea we’d gone out. Colleen made her sister, Mimi, promise not to say a word.
We had gone to an upmarket place called Cabana, which was only inhabited by the rich and powerful. You had to be someone to get in here. Lucky for us, we both had parents who were, so had no trouble at the door.
“You want another drink?” Colleen half yelled at me over the music.
Her blonde hair was up in an elaborate braid and her brown eyes shone with delight.
“Sure,” I called back.
The two of us had to shove our way off the dancefloor. There were some handsy guys along our way, but one glare from me had them retreating. They had no idea who they’d be messing with if they tried anything further.
“Babe, this place is amazing,” Colleen said as we reached the bar.
It was decent enough. No one would find out we’d been here. Money bought silence and privacy.
I nodded at Colleen whilst waving down the bartender. We ordered two fancy-sounding cocktails and moved away to a free table with high stools.
“Seen anyone of interest?”
I scoffed. As if. I wasn’t here to find a man.
“Like I’d be interested in a random sweaty guy in a club. You can dress him up in fine clothes and have him drink posh cocktails, but he’s still a creep trying to get his dick wet.”
Colleen barked with laughter.
“You’re such a picky bitch.”
“I’m a wise bitch.”
Wise to men and their fucked up games. I didn’t play nice, nor had I found anyone worthy of my time.
“You found a target yet?” I asked, scanning the room.
“No. I thought I saw a guy from that boy band, what’s it called… the one with the twins.”
I shrugged. Colleen and I didn’t share the same taste in music. She kept up with all the latest pop music and was constantly telling me about it.
“Is he cute?”
“More like fit as fuck. I’d let him lick me all over.”
“I’ll bet.”
Colleen talked a big game, but she’d only been with one guy before. I, on the other hand, stayed away from the opposite sex. Men were trouble. I wasn’t looking for it. What I didn’t realise was trouble had already found me. As I glanced over at a table across the room, my heart stopped dead in my chest.
Holy shit.
I swear to god the air was sucked from the room. Either that or I couldn’t breathe any longer. The memory of the last time I’d laid eyes on him came flooding back.
“You want me to make you my toy.”
My body tensed up, rejecting the reminder of that day. The moments when he took a kiss from me and told me all I’d ever be to him was a toy. And how no matter what I said to him as I walked out, I couldn’t shake the feeling he was right.
What the hell kind of person did it make me?
I’d gone straight home after our encounter, telling Colleen I was feeling unwell. Then I’d locked myself in the bathroom and showered, scrubbing my skin raw to erase the feel of him. It hadn’t worked. I could feel him then, and I could certainly feel him now.
Logan Benson sat across the room from me. Those ice-blue eyes having the power to disarm me as they bored holes into mine. I didn’t know who was more shocked. Him or me. Whilst he remained outwardly calm, I could see the multitude of questions in his eyes. He could fucking wonder all he wanted. I wouldn’t give the man the time of day after what happened between us when I was sixteen.
“Is that who I think it is?” came Colleen’s voice from next to me.
“Who?”
“Over there. What’s his face, the one whose family owns Bensons… Lee something.”
I flinched. Why had she noticed him? Now I’d have to correct her and she might get the wrong idea. This was rapidly turning into a nightmare.
“Logan.”
The word echoed around my head.
Logan fucking Benson.
“That’s right, Logan. He’s so handsome. He’s like one of the most eligible men in the country, don’t you know. Imagine snagging a guy like him if you were a nobody. You’d be set for life.”
I pitied the poor girl who fell for him. She would be in for a wake-up call. Logan was a heartless bastard.
“Why do you know about him?”
Colleen nudged me with her shoulder.
“He’s famous, babe. He’s photographed with a different woman every week. Not that any of them are his girlfriend. Don’t think he has one.”
I forgot Colleen was obsessed with celebrity gossip. I didn’t pay attention to it. Who cared about what the rich and famous were up to? I was rich myself. If I wanted gossip, I merely had to ask Deacon Vance at the casino. He heard a lot of things as a bartender. I didn’t relay this to Colleen as she would make me harass him daily. He wouldn’t appreciate it. I’d be his boss soon enough, I’d rather keep my employees onside. Besides, Deacon would likely ask me why I was interested because the man never let me get away with seemingly innocent questions. He might indulge me at times, but he’d also dobbed me into my parents on numerous occasions. I’d learnt my lesson about not giving him a reason to tell them what I’d been up to.
“Playboy heir apparent to a fashion empire,” I muttered, annoyed by his presence and Colleen even noticing he was here.
I could see the headline now. Logan splashed all over the tabloids and everyone lapping it up. What a fucking joke. I hated the press. No wonder Dad didn’t want me involved with a man like Logan. I think it had a lot to do with him not wanting me to get flack from the media in the same way my mother had when she’d been younger. Being the daughter of a crime lord whose business was front for his illicit dealings was newsworthy. Except my mother wasn’t Frank Russo’s real daughter at all. No, she was the Russian mogul, Viktor Bykov’s, and he wasn’t a man anyone messed with. Grandpa might be ruthless but he loved his family and would do anything for them.
“Ha, right? I wouldn’t mind being one of his playgirls.”
My head snapped to Colleen, breaking eye contact with Logan. I’d been staring at him this whole time, wondering if he would do anything now he’d seen me.
“What?”
“Look at him, babe. He’s gorgeous.”
I did not need anyone to tell me that. He was attractive and he knew it. Shame about his awful personality.
“One day, I will make you my little toy.”
What kind of man says that to a teenage girl?
A fucked up one.
“
I bet he’s an arrogant prick who will only use you. Don’t need men like him in our lives.”
I didn’t want her cottoning on to the fact I’d met and interacted with Logan a year and a half ago. I’d never told Colleen about him and never would. The whole affair between me and him was best left in the past where it belonged.
“You’re probably right. Why do the fit ones always have to be such dickheads?”
“They’re self-entitled and don’t hear the word ‘no’ very often.”
She snorted.
“Well, I don’t care if he’s a dick, I’d still ride it.”
I’d been sipping my cocktail and almost spat it out. The thought of her going anywhere near Logan and his dick made my stomach twist in protest. No fucking way would I allow her anywhere near him. I swallowed and coughed to cover up my reaction to her words.
“You so would not, Col. The only dick that’s seen the inside of your pussy is Ainsley’s.”
Colleen gave me a dark look. Ainsley Ranald was supposedly the love of her life, but he’d treated her like dirt from day one. He was up there with Logan on the self-entitled prick front. Colleen had thought he hung the fucking moon, but he only used her to make himself look good. Bag one of the popular girls at school and you’d be hailed a fucking king. He didn’t attempt it with me since he likely knew I’d have knocked him down a few pegs in my rebuttal.
No one at school asked me out. It had everything to do with me telling everyone where to go. Not to mention the incident with my dad after it had come out Raphi was being bullied. He’d picked me and my brothers up from school one day and overheard some boys talking about me in a lurid manner. They’d been verbally ripped a new one and it had gone down in school history. I’m pretty sure Dad was given a talking to by our headteacher, but no one dared say a word to me after that. Too scared of what my dad might do to them. And they should be. Dad was ruthless as fuck. He would take no prisoners.
“Yeah, well, fuck Ainsley and his pencil dick.”
I grinned. I may have started a rumour about his inability to satisfy a woman after he dumped Colleen. He would be gunning for me if he wasn’t shit scared of what might happen if he did. The idiot deserved it after the way he treated her. He should have known better than to fuck with my best friend.
“I don’t think getting with another guy is going to make you feel any better, especially not one who will use you for sex and nothing else.”
She sighed and sipped her cocktail.
“You’re right. Fuck men and their bullshit.”
I glanced back over at Logan. His eyes were still on me. Those ice-blues glinting in the flashing lights of the club. My back stiffened and a shiver ran down my spine. My skin itched all over. I wanted to be far away from him and the unwanted urges coursing through my veins at his presence.
“Hey, Col, I’m just going to nip to the ladies.”
I slid off my chair.
“You want me to come with you?”
“No, stay and watch our drinks, yeah?”
She gave me a grin and a nod.
I walked away towards the toilets, ignoring the pointed stare I was getting from the man who’d fucked with me when I was almost seventeen. Only I’d fucked with him right back. At least until he’d kissed me. He’d stolen my first and only kiss. I equal parts loved and hated it. His kiss had been demanding and overwhelming. It was cruel and unforgiving, but somehow it had been everything to me. It had forced me to admit I wanted him on a physical level. His body against mine, driving me to heights I’d never been before. Then he’d gone and ruined it all. He’d made me feel used and worthless.
“This isn’t a love story.”
I was well aware nothing between us would ever be about love. I doubted he even knew how to love someone with the way he treated me.
But you like it. You like his cruelty.
The devil’s advocate in my head could get fucked. I didn’t like it. Being tormented by him wasn’t my idea of fun, even if I’d given it right back.
The ladies’ loo was full of gossiping women touching up their makeup in the mirrors. I walked into a cubicle at the end, shutting the door and locking it. I did my best to drown out their noise and sat down on the seat.
Why did he have to be in this club? I should have known. Only the rich and powerful came here. I’d erased Logan Benson from my mind and now he was back, haunting me.
I don’t know how long I sat there, wondering whether I should tell Colleen I wanted to call it a night. Seeing him had shaken me. Normally, I didn’t allow anything to ruffle my feathers, but he was a different matter. If I allowed him to get under my skin again, he would win. No way in hell I could let that happen. All I had to do was go back out into the club and ignore the fact he was there.
I stood up and straightened my dress, flushing the toilet even though I’d not used it. Taking a deep breath, I unlocked the door and stepped out. I faltered when I realised the room had emptied.
How had I not noticed the noise level disappearing?
Leaning against the counter with his hands behind him was Logan, his ice-blue eyes roaming over me with unconcealed contempt.
“Hello, Aurora.”
Somehow this man had cleared out the ladies’ toilets and now I was alone with him.
Great. Just fucking well great.
I didn’t want to ask how he’d managed it. This was Logan Benson. He could probably charm any woman if he wanted, but he’d never used it on me. No, he preferred to show his true colours.
“Hello, Logan. I’d say it’s a pleasure to see you again, but I’d be lying.”
He smirked.
“You sure about that?”
I rolled my eyes as I walked over to the counter next to him, dropping my purse on it and making a show of washing my hands.
“I’m very sure I have no interest in seeing or talking to you, but apparently, you don’t care about my feelings. Hardly a surprise given the type of man you are. What do you want?”
He shoved off the counter and moved closer before running his finger down my bare arm. My skin prickled at the contact, but I tried to appear unaffected.
“I see you haven’t lost any of your fire.”
I gave him a look.
“As if you ever believed I would.”
He bit his lip. I could see he was holding back on something, but what was a question I didn’t know if I wanted answering.
“Do you remember what I said to you the last time we met?”
I turned away from him, forcing him to drop his fingers from my arm. I dried my hands and grabbed my purse, intending to walk away. Logan wasn’t having that. He took me by the arm and forced me to face him. I hated the way his touch burnt me. Made me want him. And I didn’t want Logan at all.
“Do you remember?”
I stared up at him. His cold gaze roamed over my face.
“How could I forget?” I all but spat. “If you want to rub it in my face, you can save it. My answer is still the same. I’m not interested.”
Why the hell did he have to raise his hand and cup my cheek the way he had done a year and a half ago? And why the fuck did it make me sway towards him?
I despised the way he smiled at me in this confident and fucking smug way he’d perfected over the years.
“I don’t believe you.”
“You should.”
His thumb swiped over my bottom lip. I fought against the urge to open my mouth and bite it. I’d show this man I wasn’t to be messed with. If I could get my head on straight, I would push him off me. My body wasn’t obeying me. It was betraying me. Logan had this fucked up effect on me and I hated it.
“Do you want me to kiss you again?” he all but whispered, leaning closer, “I will if you ask nicely.”
I reached up and tore his hand from my face.
“No. Fuck off.”
“The more you say fuck, the more I think about doing exactly that to you.”
“Why would you want to when you don’t even like me?”
His smile grew deviant.
“I don’t have to like you to want to fuck you.”
There, he’d admitted it. He wanted me. Well, he wanted to stick his dick in me. I didn’t know how to feel about it.
“Tell me, Aurora, did you save yourself for me?”
I almost slapped him. As if I would ever save myself for a man like him.
Liar.
“What does it matter to you if I have? Not like you’ve been chaste or anything.”
“Did you want me to be?”
I scoffed and stepped back from him.
“You can fuck all the women in London for all I care.”
He stepped closer, eating up the space I’d put between us.
“Say the word fuck again. I dare you.”
We stared at each other. Logan demanded with his eyes I give in to him. Why did we still have this pull between us? I’d all but shoved his memory away into the darkest depths of my mind. He belonged there with his game-playing and his admission he wanted to turn me into his plaything. But the truth was staring both of us in the face now. A truth I fucking well hated. I wouldn’t let Logan win by admitting it. By telling him I wanted it.
Reaching up, I ran my fingers through his hair and tugged his face closer to mine. He didn’t stop me. I knew he wouldn’t.
“You can dare me all you like,” I whispered against his mouth, “You can taunt me, Logan. You can try to bend me to your will, but I’m not playing your game. It was a mistake to admit you want to fuck me. You will never have the privilege. No, you can live with the knowledge I’m still untouched and you can’t do a thing about it. Lay awake in your bed at night and think of that for me. Think of how tight I’ll be. How I’ll cry and beg for more.” I pressed my mouth to his for a mere second. “It’s the closest you’ll get to having me for real.”