Our Darkest Maze

by Sarah Bailey

“Logan, more… fuck, give it to me.”

  I gave her what she asked for, pressing my face more firmly against hers. It only took another minute before she fell apart, moaning my name as she bucked against me. I didn’t let up in pace, feeling her clench around my cock repeatedly. It was the best fucking high I’d had in a long time. Watching this girl I adored come all over me.

  Her body shuddered and she pressed her lips to mine, kissing me whilst she came. Showing me how much she needed me in this moment. I held her tighter as I drove into her, wanting to fall into oblivion too. It didn’t take long. She was so fucking hot and tight. I couldn’t stop the oncoming storm.

  “Fuck,” I grunted, “Rora, fuck.”

  She held onto me, pulling me tightly against her body as I shuddered with my own climax. Being with her like this had been fucking everything.

  The two of us stayed like that for several minutes whilst our breathing slowed down and our heart rates went back to normal. I kissed her cheek, knowing I’d have to take her home now it was over.

  “Sex with you is way better than I remember,” she said as she let me go.

  I almost snorted, not really knowing what to make of what she said.

  “And I wasn’t even pulling out all my best moves.”

  She slapped my shoulder and grinned.

  “You holding out on me?”

  “Maybe I want to leave you craving more.”

  I pulled out of her, hating leaving her body. It was warm and welcoming. Being inside her was like coming home. I couldn’t get enough. The two of us cleaned up, me stuffing the condom back in the wrapper and finding somewhere to dispose of it.

  I led Aurora out of my house and locked the door behind me. It wouldn’t be too much longer until they finished renovations. Mum and I had been looking at furniture for the past week. I’d already ordered a sofa for the living room, but there was still so much I had to get.

  “How many bedrooms does the house have?” Aurora asked when we’d set off towards her house.

  “Three. One will be my office and the other a spare room for guests.”

  “So, you’ll mostly work from home?”

  “Yeah, I’m more of a consultant than anything else. I intend to keep volunteering, hopefully once or twice a year for a few weeks at a time.”

  “I had no idea you liked animals. Guess that’s why you have that picture of you and the elephant on your phone background.”

  “I spent eight weeks in Zimbabwe. It was my favourite trip. Mum was super jealous, but Dad promised her they’d go. She works part-time at London Zoo. She needs to get a leave of absence before they can.”

  “I had no idea.”

  It wasn’t something my parents talked about in public. Mum stayed out of the limelight for the most part, apart from when she attended events with my dad.

  “If you meet her, I’m sure she’ll tell you all about it.”

  I saw her look at me out of the corner of my eye.

  “Do your parents want to meet me?”

  “Yeah, they’ve been looking forward to it. I’ll get twenty questions when I get home, no doubt. They know I’m with you tonight.”

  Aurora was quiet for a long moment. I wondered if it was too much, me telling her my parents wanted to know her.

  “I’d like to meet them too.”

  I didn’t want to read into her words too much, but they made my heart tighten. They gave me hope she wanted to be with me. Maybe she could learn to forgive me for the past and we could move forward together.

  “Well, let me know when and I’ll make it happen.”

  She stroked her fingers along my hand, which was resting on the gearstick.

  “Okay.”

  We said no more and when I pulled up at her house, Aurora looked pensive. I didn’t ask her what was wrong, merely waited for her to say something.

  “Logan… you need to give me some time to think things through. Can you wait for me to contact you?”

  I took her hand and placed a kiss on the back of it.

  “Yes, I’ll do whatever you ask.”

  “Thank you.” She leant over and kissed my cheek. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

  I let her go without pressing her for anything more. She turned back at her front door and gave me a wave before going inside. I brushed my fingers over my cheek where her lips had been, savouring the fading warmth. And I hoped beyond fucking hope Aurora would give me another chance.

  No woman had matched up to her. No one I’d met had even come close. And to be honest, I’d been mostly celibate for the past three years. I didn’t have time for a relationship, nor did I want to be with anyone but her. The girl who had my heart.

  Aurora Knox was the woman I wanted forever with. And I’d wait patiently whilst she made her mind up about us, even if the thought of being away from her killed me. I’d do anything for her, including convincing her biological father I was good enough for his daughter. We weren’t out of treacherous waters yet. We had a long way to go.

  First, I’d wait for her to make a decision.

  All I could do now was hope and pray she wanted me enough to forgive me.

  Chapter Thirty Eight

  The first thing I did when I got in the house was to get a vase from the kitchen, fill it with water and take it to my room. I put the flowers Logan had bought me in it and set them on my dressing table. Then I changed, taking off my makeup and getting into my pyjamas. The things Logan had told me tonight had been thoroughly unsettling. It’s like I told him, I understood why his family didn’t approve of mine. It was true my grandfather had an affiliation with the Russian mafia and my parents had an extremely fucked up past. They’d killed to keep themselves safe. They weren’t exactly the most reputable family to be involved with. But they were my family. And I loved them to death.

  Logan telling me he didn’t care who they were and he wanted me regardless had reassured me. He’d not held anything back, giving it all to me straight. I respected him for it. It meant he wasn’t trying to hide things from me. He was allowing me to make a decision with all the facts in hand. Except I had no idea what fucking choice I should make. My feelings were all tangled up inside me. I needed to work through them, but I couldn’t do it alone.

  I slipped from my room and went upstairs to where my parents’ bedrooms were. Us kids had our bedrooms on the ground floor, which I appreciated since none of us wanted to hear them going at it. My parents weren’t exactly shy about sex with us, even if it made me and my brothers uncomfortable.

  I stopped outside a room and knocked on the door. A minute later, it was pulled open, revealing Rory with a comic in his hand. Unsurprising, as his room was full of them.

  “Rora.”

  “Can we talk?”

  He nodded and opened the door wider. I stepped in and wandered over to his sofa under the window. I sat down and curled up against the cushions. He shut the door behind him and placed his comic on one of the bookshelves before coming over and taking a seat next to me.

  “What’s up?” he asked when I didn’t immediately start talking.

  “I saw Logan tonight.”

  Rory was the first person I’d told when Logan had turned up at the charity event. Duke didn’t count since he was there. Then I’d talked to Mum. She’d been very understanding about why I wanted to give him a chance to explain himself. Guess she knew my feelings for the man had remained.

  “How did that go?”

  “Okay, I guess.”

  I wasn’t normally so hesitant about explaining things, but my mind was a mess of conflicting emotions and feelings.

  “Did you ask him to explain?”

  I nodded, staring down at my fingers.

  “And?”

  I sighed and fiddled with one of the small throw cushions before telling him all the things Logan had revealed to me. My feelings for Logan were clouding my judgement. I wanted someone else’s perspective. Rory was the person I went to
about these things. Crazy really, since the only person he’d ever had a relationship with was my mother, but I felt safe with him. Rory never judged. He supported all of my decisions without giving me a hard time, even if he didn’t always approve of them. I might not be of his blood, but Rory never treated me any differently to Cole. All four of us were his children as far as he was concerned. Guess you could say my family was pretty special in that respect. None of them ever made us feel like we weren’t theirs.

  When I finished explaining everything, Rory sat back and eyed me for a long moment.

  “How do you feel about all of that?”

  I bit my lip.

  “I understand it, and I honestly don’t blame his family for not wanting to be associated with ours.”

  He smiled. We were all aware of how unique our family was.

  “We aren’t exactly normal.”

  “You can say that again.”

  Rory sat forward and took both my hands, stilling them as I hadn’t stopped fidgeting.

  “How do you feel about him?”

  I stared hard out of the window, unable to meet his eyes.

  “I don’t know. I mean, I do and I don’t. My feelings never disappeared, they just got buried under the resentment I felt over him ending it, but now I know why, guess I’m not angry any longer. I wanted to hurt him for what he did to me. I don’t feel that way now. Revenge is so… futile.”

  I glanced at Rory, who gave me a sad smile. He knew all about revenge and the cost of it. How it could destroy people instead of making them feel vindicated.

  “You’ve never had anyone tell you they love you before.”

  Rory knew all about my dating history. I’d long since shed my guilt over being closer to him than my other dads. It wasn’t a competition. Besides, it’s not like my dad wanted to know about the men I’d been with. He’d rather not think about his daughter being sexually active.

  “If I’m being honest, I’ve wanted to hear him say it for a long time, but I wasn’t prepared for it. My heart physically hurt.” I pulled one of my hands from his and rubbed my chest. “In a good way, though.”

  Rory stroked the back of my hand with his thumb, reminding me of the way Logan had done it earlier when he was explaining things to me. The gesture soothed me.

  “If you could make a decision purely on what you wanted and not think about all the complications which go along with it, what would you do?”

  “You mean would I want to be with him?”

  “Yes. Don’t think about it too hard, just tell me how you feel.”

  I swallowed as the answer came easily. Logan was the only man who had ever made my heart flutter. He had a way of pushing my buttons and making me crave him. We were similar in a lot of ways, neither of us liking to back down from our position. Logan had changed. He was deferring to me now, wanting to make up for his past mistakes. But the way he’d fucked me? Well, that hadn’t changed in the slightest. If anything, it had been far more intense. Perhaps it’s because we’d been silently communicating our feelings to each other with our eyes.

  “I want him.”

  “Then I think you know what to do.”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “It is that simple, Rora. You be with the person who makes you happy.”

  I frowned.

  “How do you know he makes me happy?”

  Rory’s hazel eyes twinkled.

  “You smile when you talk about him and get this faraway look in your eyes. People do really fucked up shit sometimes, and yeah, forgiving them for it is hard, but it doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a second chance. Life isn’t black and white. It’s several shades of grey. You get to decide what you can and cannot look beyond. Trust me, I had to learn the hard way. Sometimes the right person is the one you least expect it to be.”

  Rory and Mum hadn’t exactly had it easy. He was resistant to being with her, but only because he’d been through a horrific childhood, leaving him scarred physically and emotionally. Guess love can change people.

  I’d learnt a lesson about how damaging love can be from Logan, but now, I was beginning to see that lesson was wrong. The reasons behind our demise had nothing to do with love. It was outside influence that had caused it. Not to mention how fucked up Logan had been over everything going on in his life. Seeing him now, how happy he was having found something he loved. The way he talked about what he’d been doing for the past three years lit up all his features. Knowing he had his shit together made it clear he’d worked hard to be a better person. It all made me see he was serious about moving forward. And he wanted to do it with me.

  “Dad is going to hate it.”

  “Quinn doesn’t get to tell you who to be with. You make the decision.”

  “You’re right, he doesn’t… but I’m still not sure it’s what I want.”

  He gave me a half-smile.

  “Take your time. If Logan is serious about you, he’ll wait.”

  Logan had agreed to wait for me to contact him. He’d give me all the time I needed.

  “Yeah, I have a feeling he’d wait forever for me.”

  Rory’s smile widened.

  “When you love someone, you’d do anything for them.”

  “Oh yeah? Like how you agreed to take Mum to the theatre?”

  He rolled his eyes and let go of my hand, sitting back again.

  “Yes, like that.”

  Rory didn’t like places where there were a lot of people, but for Mum, he’d do anything she asked of him.

  I got up from the sofa, leaning down to kiss his cheek before walking towards the door. I stopped when I reached it, turning back to him.

  “Thank you for listening.”

  “Always.”

  I smiled, giving him a wave before I went back downstairs to my bedroom and shut the door behind me. Falling into bed, I brushed my fingers over my lips, remembering how Logan had kissed me earlier. My pussy throbbed from the memory of his cock inside it. There was one thing for sure. No one fucked quite the way Logan did. It wasn’t a reason to want to be with him again. I would have to wade through my wildly conflicting thoughts and come to a decision.

  Could I forgive Logan for hurting me in the past?

  Could I move beyond everything which had happened back then?

  Maybe I can, because the thing is, I’m pretty sure I’m still in love with Logan Reid Benson. And I never fell out of it, no matter how much time has passed.

  It was the last thought I had when I curled up in bed ten minutes later after brushing my teeth. I loved Logan. I never stopped. And maybe my love for him was enough for me to give him a chance to prove his love for me.

  Chapter Thirty Nine

  Walking into my dad’s office, I cycled through all his potential reactions to what I was about to tell him in my mind. There were too many outcomes, and I wasn’t sure which one would prevail. Probably why I was nervous, my skin prickling all over and my palms had started to sweat.

  It’d been over a week since I’d seen Logan. I hadn’t contacted him once. Not because I didn’t want to. Hell, I fucking craved the sound of his voice and his hands all over me. I was relatively sure he’d be worried I’d disappeared completely, but I needed time to be sure of my decision.

  I’d got home from the casino ten minutes ago and this conversation couldn’t wait any longer. It was one I had to have before speaking to Logan. Being a coward and waiting until afterwards wouldn’t do. For this to ever work, I had to be honest with everyone, starting with my father who was the one person I was terrified of telling.

  Dad sat behind his desk, tapping his fingers on the wood as he read something on his laptop. He didn’t look up at my approach.

  “Dad.”

  “What is it, sweetheart?”

  His eyes were still on the screen. I wanted his full attention. Having worked up the courage to speak to him, I wasn’t about to let whatever he was busy with get in the way.
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  “Can I talk to you?”

  “Yes.” He waved a hand at the chairs next to me. “Give me a minute.”

  “I don’t want to do this in your office.”

  It felt far too formal and reminded me of all the lectures I’d had in here. If I was going to talk about a man with him, it needed to be in a more relaxed environment.

  Dad turned his gaze to me, his dark eyes scrutinising my face.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing is wrong. I would rather not have this feel like I’m being interrogated.”

  He let out a sigh after a moment before hefting himself out of his chair and coming around the desk.

  “Lead the way then.”

  I walked out with him on my tail, making a beeline for Rory’s conservatory, having asked him if it was okay for me to use it to talk to Dad in. It was empty when we got there, and I shut the patio doors behind us. Dad walked further in and stopped by the chairs in the room.

  “I’d rather you sat down.”

  He gave me a look but folded himself into an oversized chair. I took a step towards him, trying not to wring my hands together.

  “You remember you made me a promise about respecting my choices when it comes to my life?”

  His brow furrowed.

  “I do.”

  “I want you to keep that in mind when I say what I have to say.”

  He sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. I didn’t like this at all, but what was a girl to do when she had a father like mine.

  “Whilst I don’t know why you’re being so cryptic, sweetheart, I will keep it in mind.”

  I took a breath and placed my hands behind my back.

  “Okay. Dad, I’m getting back together with Logan.”

  Whilst Logan and I had never been in an official relationship in the first place, it had felt like one at the time. Explaining our fucked up arrangement all over again was pointless. Dad knew what happened between us anyway.

  “You’re what?”

  “When Duke and I went to that charity event you made us go to, I ran into him and well, I’ve seen him a couple of times since. We’ve talked about everything which happened and he wants to be with me. I’ve decided I want to be with him and since I don’t want it to be a secret, I’m telling you now.”