Heart's Desire

by Lanigan, Catherine

  “Does George know this guy? Personally, I mean?” Nate asked a bit too forcefully.

  I’m jealous! Nate realized. Another guy had been Maddie’s partner. Another guy had watched her dream grow, and he’d probably steered her in the right direction. Which would make her grateful to him. It was as if Nate could see his own future, and Maddie wasn’t in it.

  Nate’s return to Indian Lake had everything to do with his career and his plan to return to Arizona.

  Nate was aware that moving from state to state was how he could best dedicate his life to others. But what would that mean for him and Maddie? Where would that leave Maddie and her dreams? She had to supervise her franchises. Plus, she still had the café here in Indian Lake. She’d told him that her goal was to live in Chicago.

  Yet he realized now that he wanted Maddie in his life—always. Suddenly, he felt oddly possessive. He clasped both his hands around hers.

  She shook her head. “No, Uncle George hasn’t met Alex yet. But he will. Nate? Are you okay? You’re holding my hands awfully tight.” She shrugged out of his grip.

  “Sorry.” He rubbed her upper arms. “I just got caught up in your story. It’s pretty exciting.”

  “It is,” she went on. “I mean, I always dreamed of doing something big with my life—I suppose everybody does. I just thought you had to do that kind of thing when you were young. You know, like you did, Nate.”

  “Me?”

  “You knew what you wanted, and you left town and took charge of your life. You made things happen for yourself. Well, now it’s my turn. I’m going to make things happen for myself, too. This is my dream-come-true time.”

  “And this is what you want, Maddie?” he asked, peering deeply into her eyes.

  “Yes. It is. If I can make the franchise a success, I’ll have the money to do all the other things I’ve dreamed about.”

  “And what dreams are those?”

  “Buy a house. My own house. Later, a condo in the city. Work fewer hours instead of the fourteen to sixteen I work each day with no break till Sunday. I’d like to take culinary classes. I want to go to Italy for a month or longer. Maybe go to culinary school there. I could spend years studying under some of the best pastry chefs in the country. I could study anything I wanted.”

  “Sounds like you’ve thought about your dream quite a bit, haven’t you?” He lowered the arm he had around her. “I know what that’s like, to want something so badly you’d give up anything, everything, to make it happen.”

  They sat in silence as they gazed out at the lake. The sun was hovering just above the horizon. There were huge purple clouds in the west, an indicator of the rainstorm they were supposed to get that night. Crimson rays fanned across the western expanse of sky and fused with fiery orange, golden and lavender fingers of light. The sunset was magnificent and spellbinding.

  Neither of them said a word but kept their own counsel and their own thoughts as they watched the sun drift below the horizon.

  “You deserve this time,” Nate said, not taking his eyes off the sky. “It’s important for you to know how high in the stars your arrows will fly.”

  She watched his profile and saw the committed set to his jaw. Military set, she thought. This was the kind of focus and concentration he must have had when he joined the navy. He looked so sure of himself and so confident, he reminded her of the kind of man people elected as a statesman. And it was her bet that Nate would be the best at whatever he set his mind to be. He had the education.

  She stopped herself. She was doing it again. She was berating herself for not having a college degree. If she sold enough of her franchises, she could go to college. There was no law that said a person had to be straight out of high school to attend college classes. So, she was a little slow at the starting gate. The point was that she was there now. And she sure felt like a thoroughbred wanting to break out for a run.

  Maddie inhaled deeply as her revelation took hold deep within her heart. She kissed his cheek excitedly, and he turned his face toward hers.

  “What?”

  She smiled happily and kissed him very soundly on the mouth. “Thank you, Nate. Thank you for everything.”

  “I didn’t do anything.”

  “Yes, you did. You just helped me make my decision.”

  He swallowed hard. He could tell from her delight, the energy and adrenaline that seemed to radiate from her skin, that Maddie had indeed figured it all out. And he knew that when she’d spun these wondrous things she saw herself accomplishing, she hadn’t included him. He’d disappeared from her life.

  “I’m glad for you, Maddie,” he said, lowering his head.

  “Hey, you don’t look happy.” She tilted his face back to hers with her fingers. “You look sad.”

  His blue eyes bore into hers. This time the adrenaline he felt was his own. He knew he was capable of picking her up and carrying her off to the South Seas, if he thought it would do him any good. “This is going to be a very exciting trip for you. I can see that. Things are going to change like lightning for you.”

  “They already are,” she said.

  “Then I’d like to ask a favor.”

  “Sure.”

  “I’d like to be a part of all of it with you. I’d like to be on that speed dial of yours when something really great happens for you. I want to be the first person you think about in the morning and the last person you talk to at night. I’d like to be your friend again. Really.”

  “Is that all?” she probed.

  “Oh, God. No.” He gathered her in his arms and held her close. He gazed into her sparking green eyes until he swore he could see her soul. “Maddie. My Maddie. Don’t you get it?”

  “Get what?”

  “Deep down, I really came back to Indian Lake for you.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  MADDIE SAT IN bed propped against two pillows, arms folded across her chest, and stared at the wall. She’d been staring at the same wall for three hours and fourteen minutes. There were voice mails on her cell phone from Alex when she’d gotten home from the cove. Nate had left another voice mail at ten-twenty. She hadn’t returned that call, either.

  Her mind was a jumble of thrilling flashes of riding in a chauffeured car with Alex, sitting in the Drake bar and being kissed by the one man on the planet who held the key to her innermost dreams. It was so easy to imagine a life with Alex. A life in the city. The same city where her cafés would be taking off.

  She imagined watching the construction. Being with Alex as the project came to fruition. Going to the theater with him. Eating in glittering restaurants and meeting all the interesting entrepreneurs he must surely know and hang out with. She remembered him showing her his apartment building and talking about his parents. She wondered what his place looked like. Was it all steel and chrome or leather and old books? What would it be like to visit his parents in Naples, Florida? She’d never been to Florida. She’d never been anywhere, and she craved travel.

  Alex traveled everywhere, it seemed. London. Paris. Dubai. If she pursued a romance with Alex, there was a good chance he would take her along with him. Was he the kind of man who wanted a companion with him on his travels? Or did he consider the company a burden?

  Was he a nervous traveler who double-checked every item in his bags or was he a procrastinator who forgot his passport in his rush to the airport?

  She and Nate had often gone to Chicago on the weekends when they were in high school. They never argued about the traffic or the cost of parking or what to do when they were playing tourist. They’d chugged down the Chicago River in a sight-seeing boat and walked every inch of North Michigan Avenue window shopping. Nate’s arm was always around her waist as they talked about the play they’d just seen or a Cub’s game they’d missed.

  They had been so easy with each
other. Always courteous and caring. Always tender and attentive.

  When she thought about life with Nate, that’s what she imagined for them. Except for the fact that his future involved a great deal of moving. And none of it would be near a city. If she went with him, she would have to give up her franchise dreams. She would have to leave her Indian Lake friends, and who knew how long it would be until she could return to see them? What if she only saw them on holidays?

  Then there was the disquieting question that had lurked in the back of Maddie’s mind since the night Alex kissed her. What if she turned him down, romantically? Would he dump her and her franchises? Would he refuse to represent her if she decided she didn’t want a relationship with him?

  The truth was that Maddie didn’t know Alex all that well. She didn’t understand his motivations. She sensed he was sincere in his feelings for her, but he was a salesman, after all. He sold people, especially investors, on his clients. Alex’s charms had to be well-practiced, otherwise he wouldn’t be as successful as he was.

  Just thinking about the cost of her involvement with Alex made her nervous. Maybe she should consider Alex off limits.

  But if she acted too quickly, she would squelch her own deal.

  And that was definitely not the right move for her to make. Maddie shot to her feet and arched her back. “Ugh! This is driving me crazy.”

  She went to the window and pulled open the navy blue cotton drapes she’d bought at a garage sale for two dollars. She looked out onto Lily Avenue, where only the streetlights burned this late at night. There were no cars, no people about. No one coming home from an after-theater party or midnight supper after the ballet. It was two o’clock, and in a small town the only activity the night would see was the shift changes at the factories around three in the morning. The blossoming trees blocked what little view she sometimes had in the winter of the lighted clock tower on the courthouse, which was still one of her favorite sights. But even that reminded her of Nate.

  Many were the nights during the past eleven years when she’d gazed at the clock tower, wondering if, when she woke up, Nate would have come home. Would he try to see her? Would he even remember her?

  For years, she’d thought of no one else. There had been no one else. The tiny labyrinths in her ears still echoed with the sound of his voice. “You’re my girl, Maddie.” And she had believed him.

  Nate. She whisked her arm down, closing the drapes. Why did you have to come back here and complicate things?

  Maddie flopped back on the bed, focusing on the ceiling and the cracked light fixture. I was almost over you.

  Almost.

  Every aspect of Maddie’s well-planned career track was moving in the right direction. She had the best contractual attorney, George Regeski, an enthusiastic investor and Alex. Even if she chose love, she could choose Alex. He was definitely interested. She could have it all.

  Oddly, she didn’t want love with Alex. At least she hadn’t thought so when he’d first expressed his romantic interest. She’d only been interested in her deal.

  Then he’d kissed her. And something had changed.

  Maddie had harbored a fear of relationships since the day Nate left. Understandable. Even expected. No one would fault her for that one.

  But something in Alex’s kiss had opened her mind to the possibility....

  Illumination struck her and she jumped.

  I didn’t kiss Alex first. I kissed Nate in the café that morning. Alex’s kiss was days later.

  Now she was more confused than ever. She groaned, shoving her fingers into her short hair.

  This was not the time for consternation over men and romance. She’d told Nate this was her time. It was her chance to shine. She’d worked too hard and too long not to experience it. With her emotions running wild over Nate and Alex, she couldn’t think about business longer than a few minutes.

  “Nate. Alex. I should just flip a coin and be done with it.”

  Exasperated with herself, Maddie then remembered the day she’d seen Nate at Bride’s Corner. His appearance in town had felt like a ghost or someone rising from the dead. And tonight he’d claimed that he wanted her. He wasn’t an apparition. He was real.

  Maddie, this is not the time to fall crazy mad in love with Nate Barzonni again. He’s like opium to you.

  She sat bolt upright and her eyes flew open. That’s it! I’m not in love with Nate at all. I’m just addicted to the memory of him. All those years, she’d used his rejection to gain sympathy. That was wrong and very immature. Not a good move, Maddie.

  Still, their breakup had motivated her to get on with her life.

  Maddie crawled under the covers and pulled the comforter up to her chin. I can’t fall for Nate. I shouldn’t fall for Nate. I haven’t even found out who I am yet.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  THE GOSSIP ABOUT MADDIE Strong spread around Indian Lake faster than a late-autumn forest fire. Cupcakes and Coffee had always been a rendezvous spot for Helen Knowland and her band of eavesdropping, busybody friends, but these stories did not start inside the café. Instead, Helen and her ilk met at the Book Shop and Java Stop, the public library, the Indian Lake Deli and the garden patio at the Pine Tree Lodges. The most active center of conversation was the Louise House, since Louise Railton had opened her ice-cream and candy shop on the first of May for the summer tourist season.

  Since there wasn’t much demand for her homemade frozen treats in the bitter winter months, she shut her doors and used the time to visit family in Florida. Louise had returned in April, tanned and taut from long, barefoot walks on the beach, and she was filled with inspiration for new tropical ice-cream flavors to develop over the summer months.

  Louise was waiting on Sophie Mattuchi at Louise House on Friday afternoon. Sophie had put in a very long day and a half at the hospital, and had assisted with an emergency surgery the night before. She had a sweet tooth, and when she was depressed, she often ordered a cone with two scoops and bought a couple pints of various flavors to take home.

  Today, however, Sophie ordered only a single scoop. Black walnut.

  “That all you want, Sophie?” Louise asked, taking two dollars from the pretty girl.

  Sophie smiled as if she was trying to suppress a secret. “That’s all,” she answered, sitting down at a round table. “You put new fabric on the chairs.” She smoothed her palm over the aqua-and-white cabana-striped cotton that now covered all the seats in the little shop. “I like it.”

  “I’m going tropical this year,” Louise announced with a firm nod. “There’s going to be some changes in the menu. Maybe put some tropical plants in here. Ferns. Banana trees.”

  “Wow. Sounds great,” Sophie said.

  “You gotta have change all the time. Keeps the mind going and the body young.”

  “Well, I’d say there are quite a few in this town who would agree with that.”

  “Not really. Nothing ever changes much in Indian Lake.” Louise continued polishing her retro milk shake mixer.

  “I wouldn’t say that. Look at Maddie Strong.”

  Louise stopped polishing. “Maddie? What’s changed about her? If you’d said Sarah Jensen, yeah, I get that. She’s getting married. Becoming a mother to those two kids. Cute kids. Polite, too. Not like most of the kids who come in here.” Louise held a stained white kitchen towel in her hand as she clamped her fist onto her hip. “So, tell me about Maddie.”

  Sophie took a long lick of her ice cream, then obliged. “Seems the word is out that some hoity-toity Chicago businessman is going to invest in Maddie’s café.”

  “She’s expanding?”

  “Franchising. But that’s not all. Maddie had to go to Chicago to meet with all these people. Big shots. And they’re so rich, they sent a limousine for her. All the way to Indian Lake. The word is that the
y’re going to make Maddie rich.”

  Louise walked over to Sophie’s table and sat down. She folded her hands in her lap and waited eagerly for Sophie to continue.

  “But that’s not the biggest part of the story,” Sophie said in a conspiratorial tone.

  “That’s pretty big,” Louise said.

  “One of the rich guys, he sends Maddie expensive flowers nearly every week. He sends them to the café, so you can go over and see them if you don’t believe me.”

  “He’s courting her?” Louise asked. Sophie’s smile was twisted with a bit too much self-satisfaction for Louise’s taste, so she kept her poker face on and played her cards close to her chest.

  “Apparently. Looks like Nate Barzonni is going to have a run for his money.”

  “Nate Barzonni? What’s he got to do with anything? He’s old news. Besides, no one has heard from him in over a decade.”

  Sophie shook her head and snickered. “You shouldn’t stay away from Indian Lake so long, Louise. Otherwise, you’re going to miss a lot of drama around here. Nate not only came back to town, but he signed on at the hospital’s new cardiac center. He’s my boss. Well, one of them.” Sophie grinned satisfactorily. “Now that this new, rich guy is in the picture for Maddie, my bet is that Nate doesn’t have a whit of a chance with her. I’ve even heard some of Maddie’s friends joking about whose wedding will be first, Sarah’s or Maddie’s.”

  Louise waved her hand in front of her face, brushing off the comment. “That’s crazy. She just met the guy.”

  “I know. But he sent a limousine and all those flowers. It must be serious,” Sophie countered.

  Louise’s eyes narrowed. “You need to get out more, Sophie. City guys are different than hometown boys. City guys do all kinds of outrageous, romantic and flamboyant things for a woman, and it doesn’t mean squat.”

  “I’ve never met a guy who’s acted like that.”

  “I have.”