Aperture on the East

by Meris Lee

  Chapter 43

  Ana set the large plates of grilled shrimp, vermicelli, and romaine lettuce down on the dining table in the kitchen. There was a stack of small, round rice paper next to a bowl of warm water. Tantalizing aroma filled the air as Ana whisked sesame oil and garlic paste into peanut butter and divided the final product into tiny porcelain saucers. While she worked, she thought about the conversation she had with Mai a few nights ago. It wouldn’t be civilized to give Vo the cold shoulder since he had given Ana so much support, Mai had said, but Ana had better keep a polite distance from Vo. This new source of emotional distress would no doubt put Ana at risk of relapse. Mai made Ana promise that whenever she felt helpless, she would call Mai, as she did that night. That was about all she could do, anyway. She couldn’t discuss it with her support group; she didn’t want Clement to report any more of her feelings and thoughts to Vo.

  She was about to call Zoe and Ivan into the kitchen when the doorbell rang.

  “I’ll get it,” said Ivan. He and Zoe had been doing homework at the coffee table in the living room.

  “Mr. Nguyen. You’re back!” Ivan shouted. From the kitchen, Ana could tell that Ivan was very excited.

  “You still remember me, huh?” said Vo.

  “So do I,” said Zoe.

  Ivan and Zoe led Vo to the kitchen. Ana and Vo smiled at each other and exchanged greetings.

  “I see that we have to work if we want to eat tonight,” said Vo, looking at the items on the table.

  They all washed their hands and sat down to wrap their own spring rolls, which were eaten as soon as they were made.

  After Ivan had eaten a couple of spring rolls, he said to Vo, “I thought we would never see you again.”

  “I wasn’t sure if I would see you again, either. I just had to go away for a while. I am sorry for letting you down,” said Vo.

  Ivan nodded in acknowledgement, his mouth full again with food.

  Ana wiped her lips and said, “We are friends again, so you will get to see a lot of Mr. Nguyen.”

  “Please, Zoe and Ivan, call me Vo. Mr. Nguyen sounds like an old man.”

  Ivan swallowed his morsel and said, “I am used to Mr. Nguyen. I don’t want to sound disrespectful calling you by your first name. Plus, I don’t want you to be my friend. I want you to be my—”

  “Ivan,” said Ana, “could you please get us some more warm water for the rice paper?” She didn’t want Ivan to finish his sentence.

  Ivan got up reluctantly to fetch what his mother had requested.

  Ana glanced at Zoe; Zoe was picking at her food with a fork.

  “Where is Tuan?” said Ana. “It’s been a while since he came over last time.” Ana had set out an extra plate in case Tuan might show up for dinner.

  “Probably busy with work,” said Zoe. She took a bite of her spring roll, looking a little despondent.

  Ivan returned to the table and set down the bowl of warm water. He said, “I haven’t seen him waiting for Zoe at the school, either. He’s probably given up on Zoe, finally.” Ivan sat down and started making himself another spring roll.

  “So, I hear that both of you are doing well in school,” said Vo. “Zoe, you want to go to law school, is that right?”

  Zoe perked up a little and said, “Actually, I am not sure yet. I am taking an elective in computer science, and I am having a lot of fun writing codes and creating simple applications. I wonder if I can one day be able to hack into the mafias’ bank accounts and transfer their illegal money into needy governments or charity organizations.”

  Her ambitious goals made everyone at the table chuckle.

  “I am sure you can,” said Vo. “You will be the invisible cyber superhero.” His comment made Ivan laugh out loud.

  After dinner, Vo cleaned the dishes while Ana sat with Ivan and Zoe to find out what they were learning at school. Zoe had been staying up late to study for the high school exit exam, long after Ivan had gone to bed sometimes. Ana had never seen Zoe so dedicated to the academics.

  In a matter of days a new routine was established. Ana got up at dawn to meet Vo on the beach for a stroll, and then they both came back to Ana’s apartment for breakfast with Ivan and Zoe. After Ivan and Zoe left for school, Vo would take Ana to work on his motorcycle. Occasionally Ana could get a break from work and visit Vo at the Sailing Club for a quick lunch. They would lounge on the padded beach chairs under a thatched umbrella, gazing far out into the shining sea. After work, Vo would take Ana to the market to get groceries, and then Ana would make dinner while Vo helped Ivan and Zoe with their homework. Vo would not leave until after Ivan and Zoe had retreated to their bedrooms for the night. As much as Ana wanted Vo to stay, she would always see him to the door with a friendly “see you tomorrow.”

  On Friday evenings Vo went to Clement’s meetings with Ana, and negotiated with the art dealers who dropped in occasionally to inquire about Ana’s work in photography. Ana let Vo do all the talking, even though she knew that he didn’t know much about the business of art, either. She planned to save all the income she made on her photographs and pay Vo back for his generous monetary support. If he could somehow inflate the price of her work, well-deserved or not, she would be able to repay him in full much sooner.

  As May drew near, however, Ana’s anxiety grew. Vo still hadn’t mentioned anything about returning to the United States for the birth of his son, but Ana knew that it was inevitable. Once Vo saw the baby boy and fell in love with him, he might not return to Nha Trang ever. There were a slew of duties for a new father. How would he get away?

  “What are you thinking?” said Vo. He was getting his boat ready while Ana sat on the pier, dangling her feet over the water. It was another splendid Saturday morning, and they were going to the Pearl Island. Ivan and Zoe had their own events that day, so Ana and Vo were looking forward to a scrumptious picnic and a long, quiet nap on the beach of the idyllic island.

  “You have made me so happy in the last couple of months,” said Ana. “I felt like I’ve died and gone to heaven. It’s so surreal. But I wonder if I am about to wake up from this dream.”

  Vo stepped off his boat and on to the pier. He was about to sit down next to Ana when someone called out her name.

  Ana turned and saw a young man waving at her. She stood up, trying to recall his name. He had probably mistaken her for someone else. She looked at Vo, and shrugged her shoulders.

  The young man ran toward her and said, “Remember me? Erik. From the Rocking Waves, the nightclub they tore down.”

  Ana glanced at Vo, and she could tell that Vo recognized him. Vo’s face tensed up and his fists tightened.

  “What do you want?” said Vo. He took a step forward, and pushed Ana back behind him.

  Ana was still trying to identify where and when she and Erik had met. She didn’t understand why Vo had become so hostile all of a sudden. She squinted to study Erik’s face, trying to decipher the situation.

  Erik looked puzzled at first, and then he grinned and said, “You were too drunk to remember me. We were drinking vodka at the bar when the police raided the place. There were gun shots and people screaming bloody murder. We scrambled out of the scene and I took you home because you looked like you were about to pass out any minute.”

  Now Ana remembered who Erik was. The vivid image of the raid suddenly invaded her senses. She now realized why Vo looked so angry. She grabbed Vo’s hand, afraid that he was going to strike Erik.

  Erik continued to say, “Sure enough, as soon as I got you to your bed, you were a goner. I was exhausted, because I had to carry you up like, six flights of stairs. So I thought I’d lie down to rest for a bit. Next thing I knew, I had slept the whole night there. My head was hurting so bad, but you kicked me out before I even had a chance to ask you for a cup of tea. I tell you. It was a wild night.”

  Ana’s jaw dropped. “You mean we didn’t—” said Ana. “Nothing happened?”

  “What? What did you think happened?” said Erik. He
paused for a second, and then he chuckled. “Oh, I see what you meant. Well, I was hoping to get lucky but you were completely out. I never take advantage of women like that. I am a decent fellow.”

  Ana looked at Vo; he seemed as stunned as she was.

  Erik didn’t wait for Vo and Ana to respond. He said, “Well, my year in Nha Trang is over, and I am heading back to Australia. It’s nice running into you, Ana. You are part of my first memorable encounters here. Really unforgettable that was. Cheerio.” He turned around and walked away.

  Vo turned to look at Ana as well. His face had relaxed.

  “Ana,” said Vo, “it really didn’t matter.”

  “It mattered to me,” said Ana. “Regardless, I put myself in that situation, so you had every right to be angry. You weren’t wrong to leave me. I deserved the punishment.”

  Without asking Ana for her permission, Vo pulled Ana into his arms and held her as tight as he could. He said, “I will never let anything separate us again. Never.”

  Ana was surprised by this gesture and she wanted to push him away, but the familiar warmth of his embrace overpowered her. She stood motionless, secretly relishing in the heat of Vo’s body, feeling ashamed at the same time. Vo did not let her go for a long time.

  When they got into the boat, Vo’s cell phone rang and he answered it. He greeted the caller in English, but quickly switched over to Vietnamese. Ana could understand some Vietnamese, but he was speaking too fast for her to comprehend. All she could tell was that it had something to do with a baby, and Vo seemed very excited.

  “Good news,” said Vo as he put his phone away. “My mom just called to say that our baby has arrived. Everything went well. Mother and baby should be going home in a couple of days.”

  “Don’t you need to go back to the States then? I am sure you are needed,” said Ana.

  “Of course they want me there, but I have more important things to do here,” said Vo. He undid the rope that tied his boat to the pier, and started the engine.

  Ana thought that Vo was acting very callously, and couldn’t understand why he could be so outside of his character when it came to matters concerning Kim. How could she trust a man who didn’t seem to care about his newborn son? Ana’s conscience ruled against Vo, but her heart made the decision to stand by him. After all, they were just friends. She was not doing anything wrong here, and how could she ever chastise someone who had helped turn her life around?

  Chapter 44

  July arrived, and Vo remained in Nha Trang. He seemed happy and unconcerned about his family on the other side of the Pacific Ocean. For selfish reasons, Ana never brought up Kim or the baby during conversations with Vo; he didn’t talk much about them, either, anyway. Ana didn’t try to persuade Vo to return to the United States, but she did decide to distance herself from him. She claimed to need time for her work in photography, and would allow Vo to visit only in the evenings when her children were present. She also stopped using his motorcycle for transportation, saying that she’d rather walk for exercise. Everything was within walking distance, so Vo couldn’t object.

  School was out for the summer. Ivan was again attending the summer camp at the Institute of Oceanography, this time with Ana’s full knowledge and her authentic signatures on all the forms and waivers. He spent the rest of his time skateboarding with his friends, and expanding his collection of seashells. Zoe had passed the high school exit exam and got her diploma. She didn’t apply to go to college because she wasn’t sure whether she could finish high school on time. Instead, she would work for a year. She found a job at the fish market, gutting and cleaning fish of all sizes and varieties caught the night before. She told Ana that she could improve her Vietnamese and learned the culture better by mingling with the locals. When Ana visited Zoe at the fish market, she could tell that Zoe was an oddity there, but Zoe’s boss assured Ana that Zoe was welcomed by all; Zoe was quite an entertainer and it made the work less mundane and the day go faster, the boss had told Ana.

  “Zoe, Ivan, I am home,” said Ana as she set down the bags of groceries at the kitchen counter one evening.

  No one answered, but Ana heard someone sniffle and went to see who was upset. Ivan was nowhere to be found. Ana went to Zoe’s bedroom, and found Zoe crying in her bed.

  “What’s wrong, Zoe?” said Ana. She sat down on Zoe’s bed.

  Zoe sat up and threw her arms around Ana. “He’s gone,” said Zoe.

  “Who’s gone?” Ana rubbed Zoe’s back to try to calm her down.

  “Tuan,” said Zoe. “He’s left me for good. I told him to go away but I didn’t know that I’d be so sad when he’s really gone.”

  Ana hadn’t seen or heard from Tuan for months. Zoe would never give a clear response whenever Ana asked about him. Ana missed Tuan as well, but had come to terms with the fact that he was no longer a part of her family because Zoe didn’t want him to be.

  “He found me at the fish market this morning to tell me that he was going back to Hanoi,” said Zoe. “He said that he would not come to Nha Trang again because I’d broken his heart. He told me not to write or call, because it would hurt him too much. So, he’s cutting himself off from me, completely.” More tears rolled out of Zoe’s eyes.

  “Do you want him to stay?” said Ana.

  “I don’t know,” said Zoe. “I just don’t want to be his girlfriend. I don’t want to be anyone’s girlfriend. I know I’ve hurt him. That’s why he’s leaving. I don’t know why I am so upset. I should be glad that he won’t bother me anymore. I am going crazy.”

  Ana didn’t know what to say. Sometimes one would not know how much something was treasured until one lost it. She held Zoe tightly, and let Zoe unload all her confused thoughts and emotions through her tears. Things would sort out themselves, eventually.

  Someone opened the front door, and Ana heard Ivan and Vo laughing and talking in the living room. She grabbed a tissue and dried Zoe’s tears. Zoe was a little calmer now. Ana said to Zoe, “You want to find out what the boys are up to tonight?”

  “You go, Ma. I’ll clean up a little,” said Zoe.

  Ana came out of Zoe’s room and greeted Vo and Ivan. They were discussing the elusive dolphins of the South China Sea again. Vo had given Ivan a ride home from the Institute of Oceanography.

  “Guess what, Ma,” said Ivan. “Mr. Nguyen is having a party tonight. It’s his birthday. Can we go? Please?” Ivan begged with folded hands.

  “It is?” said Ana. “I didn’t know. I should’ve asked you about it. What an awful friend I am.”

  “I don’t really celebrate my birthday,” said Vo. “This time a few friends decided to throw me a party at the Sailing Club. They booked the whole place, so I have to go. I’m turning forty, feeling kind of old.”

  Ana was not sure whether she wanted to go to an occasion where there might be alcohol involved, but Ivan kept begging her. She wanted to celebrate Vo’s fortieth birthday, too, so she finally agreed. Zoe poked her head out of the room to see what the commotion was about, and accepted the invitation. Ana thought that a party might be a good thing to distract Zoe from her agony over Tuan as well.

  When they all got out of the taxi at the door of the Sailing Club, they could hear the Spanish guitar music flowing from the speakers. Someone at the door verified that Vo was the star of the event, and let him and his guests in. The cabanas that lined the pathway to the beach were illuminated with soft incandescent lamps, and the rectangular fountain down the center of the pathway was glowing aquamarine.

  Vo looked at the cabanas full of people and said, “I didn’t know I had all these friends.”

  A few people came up to talk to Vo right away, and within a short time they displaced Ana, Zoe and Ivan. Ana decided to head toward the beach, and signaled Zoe and Ivan to follow her.

  The Spanish guitar player was set up in the corner of the bar, and Zoe decided to go and check out his fingerpicking techniques.

  “Wait, who’s going to make sure that I don’t pick up a glas
s of vodka or something?” said Ana, feeling a little nervous.

  “Think of it as a test, Ma. You can do it,” said Zoe as she took off.

  Ana looked at Ivan and said, “You are staying with me, right? I don’t know anybody here.”

  “Well,” Ivan looked toward the sand where a few teenagers were playing beach volleyball, and he said, “I kind of want to go over there.”

  “Okay,” said Ana. “I guess I’ll just wait here by myself.”

  Ana stood and watched as Ivan walked away. She shook her head, and then she found an empty lounging chair on the patio to sit down. She admired the elegant décor of the restaurant and bar, with the simple but stylish furnishing and romantic lighting. A waiter came by and she ordered a glass of passion fruit juice. The place was well occupied with, she assumed, Vo’s friends, but because someone had the foresight to make it a private event, there wasn’t a suffocating crowd. Most people were chatting in small groups, and a few were dancing to the music when the guitarist switched to bossa nova. Young kids were running around chasing one another, while their parents monitored from the side and exchanged advice and anecdotes.

  “Ana.”

  Ana turned to see who was calling her name, and was surprised to see Kim.

  Kim seemed to have gained some weight. Her face was fuller and her abdomen was still showing signs of recent pregnancy. When Ana stood up to greet her, she gave Ana a hug, American style.

  “I’m so happy to see you, Ana. How have you been?” said Kim. Her English was much more fluent, even though the accent was still heavy.

  Ana was not expecting to see Kim, and she was beyond astonished. She managed to say, “I am fine. I am in a much better shape than I was last year.”

  “Good,” said Kim. “Have you and Vo been hanging out? He would only talk about you when he called home. We were all getting very jealous. At least he remembered to call us every once in a while.” She smiled at Ana.