Catch Me If I Fall

by Daniele Lanzarotta

  I cut him off because I know where this is going. He doesn’t think we will last and I can’t even bear to hear that yet again.

  I look at him and tears spring up to my eyes. “I love him, Daddy. I’m not saying it just because.”

  For the first time in my life, I see fear in my dad’s eyes. Of course, I saw that when I was in the hospital after the shooting, but this is different.

  “Just—be careful, sweetheart.”

  I reach over and give him a hug, and pull away after a while. “I should get going.”

  He gets out of the car and makes his way around to the driver’s side.

  “Have a good day, sweetheart.”

  I smile at him and turn to face the school’s entrance, and my stomach drops. That is when two of Alec’s friends from the baseball team come over-David and Marc.

  “There she is,” says Marc. “We have strict orders to walk you to class today.”

  I laugh. “Do you now?”

  David nods. “Really, you are doing us a favor. It makes us look good to walk around with a pretty girl instead of the guys from the team.”

  Marc laughs. “I don’t think our orders involved hitting on her, dude.”

  I shake my head and welcome the company. The last thing I want is to be alone on my first day back. I know Alec is behind this and I love him even more for it.

  But, David and Marc are not in any of my classes and I quickly find myself feeling like the new student who doesn’t know anyone. I know that soon enough David and Marc will get back to their friends and it will just be me. I miss Kristi. I miss Alec and Kyle, and even though I wish I didn’t, I even miss Mike.

  I end up having lunch with the guys from the team. The guys were waiting for me after class and gave me no choice. It’s awkward, but again, I welcome the company. And they talk so much! I barely have to make conversation.

  I get a text from Alec during lunch. ‘Are Marc and David behaving?’

  I laugh and start typing, ‘Yes. I can’t wait to see you after school.’

  ‘Do you feel like going to the waterfall?’

  I grin. ‘Absolutely,’ I type.

  “Is he checking up on us?” asks Marc.

  I laugh. “You know it.”

  Classes after lunch are quiet. I don’t have anyone to talk to so I just stay to myself. From what I have heard, half of the school seems to refer to me as the girl who was friends with the shooter and the other half as the girl who is dating a college guy. Quite scandalous in this tiny town, even though they know Alec and they know that we’ve known each other since we were little. It is really ridiculous.

  I rush out after school and find Alec waiting for me. He gets out of the truck. He is hiding something behind his back. I rush toward him and give him a hug.

  He moves his hand and gives me a rose, then grabs my free hand. “Let’s get out of here.”

  I turn around and notice that people are watching us. I try to ignore it and get in the truck. Alec starts a playlist he named Skylar. It has all my favorite songs on it. “Sing for me?” he asks.

  I turn bright red. I can’t help it. But I do sing almost all the way to the waterfall. From time to time, I look at him and see he is grinning. I stop when we drive by Grayson’s farm. I am overwhelmed by the reminder that because of Mike, Grayson is no longer here and will never get to go to college like he had always dreamed of. Alec reaches for my hand and tightens his grip. We stay quiet for the rest of the drive, which isn’t long once we pass the farm.

  Alec parks the truck and I reach for my door. “Don’t you dare touch that door handle, Sky,” he says playfully.

  He rushes to my side and opens the door.

  I start to walk toward the path that leads to the waterfall, but he slowly grabs my wrist, turns me around, and pulls me toward him.

  “I have a confession,” he says.

  “Hmmm, okay.”

  “I feel like a silly teenager. I know I had only been gone for a few hours, but I missed you so damn much,” he whispers against my lips before he kisses me.

  My knees weaken and I use his body for support. When he pulls away, I move closer and hug him like I’m never going to let go.

  “Come on,” he says. “Hop on.”

  I laugh, “I can walk, you know?”

  “I know.”

  I shake my head and hop on his back.

  When we get to the waterfall, he puts me down and we sit on the large rock near the water.

  I sit between his legs with my back against his chest. He wraps his arms around me and we both sit here for a minute, feeling the warmth of the sun and each other.

  He takes a deep breath.

  “How are things?” He asks.

  “Good, I guess.”

  “You guess?” He kisses right under my ear and I shiver.

  “What is on your mind, Sky?”

  I turn around to face him.

  “I heard mom and dad arguing last night. People are giving my dad trouble about us. They are basically judging his parenting skills for letting me date a ‘college guy’.

  He shakes his head. “These are people who have known me my whole damn life.”

  “I know. They just want to create drama.” I shake my head. “It’s just another type of bullying, you know? And they wonder where kids get it from.”

  Alec moves a string of my hair behind my ear.

  “I’m afraid they will eventually get to my dad,” I admit.

  “Don’t worry about that, Sky.”

  “How can I not?”

  He smiles. “Because I’m not letting you go. I don’t care what people say.”

  He pulls me onto his lap, moves his hand to the back of my neck and kisses me.

  I grin against his lips. “Truth or dare?” I ask, remembering the first time he brought me here.

  He laughs. “How about we just lay down here for a while.”

  We both lay down. Me, with my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat while he runs his fingers through my hair, and I close my eyes.

  ALEC

  How could I have been so stupid? I want to tell her, but I can’t. She already has too much to worry about. I keep re-living that day and wondering if I could have done anything differently. I was at school buying my books when Lizzie approached me and started to cry. She looked like she was having a panic attack.

  I tried to get away, but she said she just needed to talk and I was the only one who would understand. She said her therapist recommended that she talk about what happened at school with someone who was there. I just sat there and listened… The next day, she tracked me down while Kyle and I were walking around campus after orientation. She threw herself in my arms and started to cry on my shoulders. Kyle just looked at me like, ‘What the hell?’ And I couldn’t agree more. I mean, I feel for her, but I wish she would talk to someone else. I don’t want to be in this position. I keep hearing Kyle’s words over and over again. “Dude. You have a history of making dumb decisions when it comes to relationships. Lizzie is crazy. She has had a thing for you since middle school. She hates Skylar. AND she is lonely and likely full of crazy emotions. Get away and get away quick!”

  He is right. I’m afraid I might give her hope of something that is not there, but also afraid to set something off as she is obviously dealing with the trauma of what happened.

  I feel Sky move and look up at me. “Your heart is beating faster.”

  I move enough to where I can kiss her forehead.

  “I love you, Sky.”

  “I love you too. What is on your mind, Alec?” she asks.

  I sigh. “I wish I could stay here in town with you.”

  She holds me tighter. Ugh. I want to tell her, but I also want to protect her. Protecting her always wins.

  I change topics. “So, you didn’t tell me, how was driving today?”

  She laughs. “Not bad.” She pauses and looks up at me. “Are you going back today?”

  “Yeah. I have class early tomorrow.�
��

  I can see the disappointment in her eyes. I hate leaving her. I knew it would be hard, but not this hard. And it’s going to get worse. Soon, it will be for longer, and I guess that is one of the reasons why I came back this morning. I freaked out at the thought of being gone for so many days.

  All I keep telling myself is that we need to make this work, because I’m not letting her go ever again.

  I’m still so exhausted from not sleeping the night before that I end up falling asleep with her in my arms.

  We stay at the waterfall until it starts to get dark out.

  SKYLAR

  Alec drives me home and then it is the time I always hate.

  “Are you going to your house before you leave?” I ask.

  “Nah. Mom and dad are working late. I don’t even think they know I’m home. I will see them this weekend.”

  I clench his shirt, pull him toward me and bury my head against his chest. I hate feeling like this.

  “Come on,” he says. “Let’s go to your backyard for a few minutes.”

  He leads me around back and we sit on the swings.

  “I added some things to the list,” he says.

  “You did?”

  He nods.

  “Like what?”

  He grins. “I will surprise you with one this weekend.”

  “Are you really gonna make me wait?”

  “I sure am.” He yawns.

  “Are you going to be okay to drive back?”

  “Yeah. I will stop if I get too tired.”

  I sigh. “You should go so you are not exhausted tomorrow.”

  He stands up and pulls me up. I walk him to the truck, where we kiss and I fight the urge to cry.

  “I will text you when I get in okay?”

  I nod.

  “I love you, Sky.”

  “I love you too.”

  My chest tightens as I watch him drive away. I then rush inside and to my room, crying, which I hate, ignoring mom and dad calling me from the kitchen.

  “Skylar?” says mom from the door.

  “Yeah?”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah. It is fine.”

  “Did you eat dinner?”

  “Yeah,” I lie. I really don’t feel like eating right now.

  A few hours later, I get a text from Alec saying he is home and can’t wait to see me this weekend.

  I FaceTime him.

  “Hey, Sky. I thought you’d be sleeping.”

  He looks really tired. “I just wanted to say goodnight.”

  He smiles and yawns.

  “Can you do something for me?” he asks.

  “What is that?”

  “Can you sing something for me?”

  I smile. “Sure.” I lay down and start singing, and at some point, we both fall asleep with our phones still on.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  The next day, I ride the bus to school—alone. It’s been forever since I did that. At lunch, Marc and David have some kind of meeting with the baseball coach, so I’m alone then too, until a guy I’ve never seen before walks up to me and asks if he can sit.

  “Sure,” I say.

  He puts his tray on the table and sits across from me. He is dressed way better than me. I mean, I just rolled out of bed and threw on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. He is wearing jeans, but with a nice black shirt and a Fedora hat. “You’re quite popular,” he says and I almost spit out my drink.

  “Why do you say that?” I ask.

  He sits back and watches me curiously. I try to pin point where he is from by his accent. It is obvious that he is new in town. Everyone knows everyone here. “Things I’ve heard since I got here,” he says. “I must admit… I’m not used to this level of gossip.” He pauses. “I’m Sebastian by the way.”

  I shake my head and grin. Gossip is definitely one of the things this town is known for. “I’m Skylar. So… where are you from?”

  “New York.”

  “Wow. What brings you here?”

  He smiles and tilts his head to the side as if contemplating whether he should answer the question or not.

  “Well, between the two of us, my parents moved us here because of me. They got it stuck in their heads that the big city corrupted me and that I needed to live in a small town to get perspective on what good family values really are, and blah, blah, blah.”

  “What did you do?” I ask curiously.

  He smiles. “It’s not what I did so much as who I am. They will get it one day.”

  I give him a confused look.

  “I have a boyfriend…” he whispers, “…back home. After what I heard, I figured we have the long distance stuff in common.”

  “Oh.” I pause. “OH!”

  “Light bulb going off?” he laughs.

  “Yes. Sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

  “It’s fine. You good with that?”

  “Me? Why wouldn’t I be?”

  He grins. “I figured you would probably be the one person around here who wouldn’t get all judgy on me.”

  Again, I’m intrigued by his perception of me. We just met and he acts like he knows and trusts me. “How come you figured that?” I ask.

  “I heard a lot about you…” He smirks. “So, when are you going to tell me about this college guy that I keep hearing about?”

  I smile, “His name is Alec.”

  “So, what is the story? I mean… your version of the story. You know I’ve heard all kinds of rumors by now.”

  I raise an eyebrow at him. “The whole story?”

  He shrugs. “Hmm. Yeah. I mean, there is a lot of gossip going around school about your love life. I want to know it all. I have no social life. I need entertainment,” he grins and honestly, it is refreshing to meet someone who seems so blunt.

  I laugh. “Okay. We met before I even started school. We stopped talking when I was in kindergarten, but we’ve been neighbors for as long as I can remember. Then last year, we reconnected and started dating.”

  He puts his drink down. “Wait. Wait. What happened during all of those years in between?”

  I sigh. “We weren’t on speaking terms.”

  “And why is that?”

  I hate when people ask me that. “It’s pretty stupid actually.”

  “We have all done stupid things. Come on. Tell me.”

  “When I started kindergarten, he was already in second grade. His friends made fun of him for spending so much time with me. They kept teasing him for having a girlfriend, so he said we couldn’t be friends at school anymore and I pushed him away altogether.”

  Sebastian’s mouth drops open.

  “I told you it was stupid.”

  “Okay. Go on.”

  “We just reconnected after all that time.”

  He takes a bite off his sandwich and after a few seconds, he says, “Word is that you took a bullet for him when—you know—during the shooting.”

  My smile quickly disappears at the mention of that day. I look down at my plate. “Yeah. Can we talk about something else?”

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just that… That is some deep stuff.”

  I nod.

  “Do you regret it?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Wow.” He says. He looks like he is in disbelief.

  “You wouldn’t understand,” I say.

  “Try me.”

  I look down at my plate and start to pick the chocolate chip cookie apart. “Alec had cancer during part of the time when we weren’t really talking. He got better, but it took a lot for him to really start living his life without the fear of getting sick again. He had just gotten to that point and I wasn’t going to let him go anywhere.”

  Sebastian has his mouth hanging open again.

  “What?” I ask.

  He shrugs. “It’s pretty cool that you have that kind of connection. That’s all.”

  “Yeah, but now,” I sigh, “long distance relationships are tough.”
r />   He smiles. “Come on! With that type of bond, you will make it work.

  CHAPTER SIX

  I see Sebastian during two of my classes after lunch, and he ends up being my lab partner in Chemistry. After that last class, we leave together. He tells me about his old school and asks what is there to do in town.

  “There is not a whole lot to do here. There are the school games, and parties after the games, bonfires…”

  He laughs. “Note to self – move back to New York as soon as I graduate.”

  I laugh. “Good advice. Well, I have to catch the bus before they leave me here.”

  “Bus? Come on, I can give you a ride.”

  “Are you sure?” I ask.

  He nods. “Come on.” I follow him to the parking lot, get in his car and give him directions, which are not many.

  “So, tell me about your boyfriend,” I ask.

  He shrugs. “There is not much to tell. We hadn’t been dating long before he gave me an ultimatum to tell my parents. He was tired of hiding our relationship. So I did. I mean, people at school knew. I’m an open book. But I knew my parents would freak out about it, and they did. I just didn’t expect them to go so far as move to the middle of nowhere.”

  I listen quietly. “We are not gonna last,” he says, but he seems indifferent about it. “I tried to break it off with him, but I think he feels guilty about the whole deal with talking me into telling my parents, and wouldn’t let me go.”

  “Maybe he really wants to try,” I attempt to sound positive.

  He grins. “I guess we will wait and see.”

  “That house right there,” I say.

  I can’t help but stare at Alec’s house. It’s weird knowing that he no longer lives here.

  “Well, I should get going,” I say. “Thank you, for the ride.”

  “No problem. See you tomorrow.”

  I get out of the car and go in. The first thing I do is check my phone. I can’t believe I forgot to turn it back on after class.

  I have a missed call from Alec and a text, ‘Missing you. Call me when you get home?’

  I smile and call him right away.

  I smile even more when I see his face on the screen.

  “I miss you too,” I say.