Catch Me If I Fall

by Daniele Lanzarotta

  Kyle nods. “Alec is that guy.”

  Mom looks like she is speechless, and dad looks confused. “Start at the beginning,” he says to Kyle.

  “I can’t be here,” I say as I throw the napkin on the table. I leave and sit outside on the curb, until Kyle texts me to go in.

  I sit down and see that they are both in shock.

  “Why didn’t you tell Skylar the truth, Alec?” mom asks.

  “It’s not that simple,” I say. “How can I even expect her to look at me the same after those pictures? Not to mention that she warned me. Kyle warned me. I just didn’t see what they were seeing.”

  “I just don’t understand how a girl – a young woman - could do this.”

  I throw my hands up in the air. “She is insane, okay? That is how.”

  Dad just sits quietly looking disappointed.

  “You are looking at me like I did something wrong,” I say.

  “Didn’t you?” he asks. “You know better than to drink. For starters, because you’re under twenty-one; but, also because you know that drinking can have consequences. We taught you better than that!”

  Mom looks at him, “Stop it. Yes, he was wrong for drinking, but he didn’t ask for this. Would you be acting the same way if it was Amanda in this situation?”

  Dad shakes his head. “I’m sorry, son. I just can’t believe this happened.”

  “Yeah, that makes two of us,” I say in a sarcastic tone. I look down. I can’t even look him in the eye. “You did teach me better than that though,” I say. “And you will never know how sorry I am.” I hesitate. “Please don’t tell Amanda the truth. She will tell J and he will tell Skylar. I don’t want to mess up things for her anymore.”

  I look up at mom and she is trying not to cry, but they agree to not say anything.

  “Are you doing okay?” mom asks and I nod.

  “He’s lying,” says Kyle, and I give him a warning look.

  “What? Do you think it’s normal that you never go out and have fun? You are either working, studying, playing baseball, or sleeping.”

  “Playing baseball is fun,” I say and he rolls his eyes at me.

  “You know what I mean.”

  I shake my head. “None of that has anything to do with Lizzie.”

  Mom and dad just watch the interaction, until mom finally cuts in, “You know, son, by not telling Skylar what really happened and not fixing things, you are giving that girl exactly what she wanted.”

  I ignore her advice. “How is she?” I ask again.

  Dad is the one who answers my question. “She moved to Atlanta. She is living with her uncle.”

  My eyes widen in shock. “Does Amanda know?” I ask. I mean, she is engaged to Skylar’s uncle. How could she not?

  “We were asked not to tell you anything.”

  “Is all of that because of me?” I ask.

  “Part of it,” says dad. “Other things happened.”

  They are worrying me now. “What happened?”

  They look at one another as if trying to decide whether they should tell me or not.

  “It’s not like I’m going after her. I’m tired of breaking her heart over and over again,” I assure them.

  So they tell me about how she was almost kidnapped and how the guy knew Mike, and I sit here feeling like I could’ve prevented this somehow; feeling like I failed her yet again.

  The following weekend, there is a vigil in town for the students who died during the shooting. I decide to go, hoping that she will be there. I just want to see her once; make sure she is okay, but she doesn’t show up. And at night, it is just me, in the silence of my old room. I didn’t realize how much I had missed the sound of her singing.

  And then, summer comes around. School is out. Baseball has been over for a while now, and she is all I think about. Some days, I get so consumed by those thoughts that I want to at least know how she is, and eventually, I decide to email her uncle and ask.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  SKYLAR

  Living in Atlanta with uncle J has helped me a lot. At home, I always felt smothered by memories. Not that the same doesn’t happen here. Every once in a while I look at the pool, and I can’t help but think about him. I remember that first night here before we started dating, New Year’s, my last birthday... I can close my eyes and imagine the warmth of his breath against my skin like he is here, but I’m quickly reminded by the empty space next to me that he is not. It’s like my brain is in constant war with my heart. One is constantly bringing up horrible memories that make me want to forget him, followed by the memories that make me miss him so much that it hurts.

  But for the most part, things seem to be getting better. With summer classes, I will be graduating early - right before the end of the year.

  I do, however, refuse to go back home. They even had a vigil this past weekend, to remember the students who died during the shooting, but I couldn’t make myself go. I also made peace with the fact that I will never find out why Mike did what he did.

  “Hey, kiddo,” says Uncle J as he gets in the house. He is carrying two pizza boxes and a soda. I get up and help him carry it to the coffee table. We grab some paper plates, plastic cups, and sit down in front of the TV. Uncle J puts in the Avengers DVD for the millionth time, but doesn’t press play right away.

  “Is everything okay?” I ask.

  “Yeah. I just have a question for you. Well, more of a confession.”

  “Uh-oh,” I laugh.

  “Don’t be mad. I’m not the snooping kind, but you left that leather book that Kyle gave you on the kitchen table and—”

  “Wait,” I interrupt him. “Did I just hear that right? You were in the kitchen?”

  “HAHA,” he says, “Any way…” he smiles, “I read some of the songs you wrote.”

  I nod. “Go on.”

  “Do you still write them?”

  “Yeah.”

  “But you don’t sing anymore?”

  I shrug. “It doesn’t feel right, but I do still like to write them.”

  He nods. “Well, I have a friend who owns a studio and I know that he is looking for some help, just making sure bands have what they need when they go in to record. Is that something you’d like to do?”

  “Yes! I would love that!”

  “Cool. Well, you already got the job. You start tomorrow.”

  I laugh. “How did you know I would say yes?”

  He shrugs. “I just hoped you would.”

  “Am I getting this job just because he is your friend?”

  “That, I will never tell.” he winks at me and hesitates. “Okay, I may have showed him your songs,” he tries to change subject before I can say anything back, and I let him get away with it, for now. “Oh. Before I forget, Amanda is coming this weekend.”

  “Okay,” I say. They used to take turns traveling to see one another, but since the thing with Alec and I, he has been going to see her; and mom, dad, and Sebastian, usually come over on weekends to stay with me.

  “Uncle J?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure thing.”

  I bite my bottom lip.

  “Do you still talk to him? I mean… Alec. I know you talked before we broke up, and I was just wondering.”

  Uncle J puts the pizza down and grabs his drink. He takes a long sip, but I think it is more to buy time than anything else. He takes his time putting the soda back down on the table too.

  “He emailed me a few days ago and asked how you were doing.”

  “He did?” I say, almost in a whisper. “What did you say?”

  He clears his throat. “I said you are doing really good. I mean, you are, right?”

  I nod.

  “I said that if he wanted to come see you, he could, but that maybe he should reach out to you and ask first. I said I didn’t want to get in the middle of anything.”

  I shake my head.

  “I enjoy my drama-free life
very much, niece. I want to keep it that way.”

  I laugh. “Thanks, Uncle J.” I pause and take a bite off my pizza. “Do you think I should call him?”

  “Honest opinion?”

  I nod.

  “From what you told me, he messed up. Even if you just want to talk to make peace and be friends, let him come to you. And, Skylar, don’t stop living your life waiting on him, you know? Make friends, go out, date… you should be having way more fun than you are at your age. Especially living with your cool uncle instead of your parents. Just imagine how many things you could get away with if you tried,” he watches me curiously. “I’m joking. I’m only saying that because I know you’re a good kid.”

  I just roll my eyes at him.

  I miss having Alec in my life and maybe I’m not as happy as I would be with him around, but I’m in a really good place.

  “Thanks, Uncle J.”

  He smiles, “Wow. I feel very old and wise right now.”

  I roll my eyes at him again as he grabs his pizza and starts the movie.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  The next day, I go to the studio first thing in the morning. This is my first official job, so I’m both nervous and excited. I walk into the small building and ask for the owner and uncle J’s friend, Mr. Fisher. He welcomes me into his office and gets straight to business.

  “Did J tell you that he showed me some of the songs you wrote?” he asks and I nod.

  “You’re very talented.”

  “Thank you,” I say nervously.

  “Skylar, what is it that you want to do with your life?”

  ‘Oh. Wow. That is a loaded question,’ I think, but I find myself answering it as if I’ve always known the answer. “I want to be a songwriter.”

  He nods and looks like he is deep in thought.

  “I told your uncle that I need someone to help whenever bands come in to record, just to make sure they have everything they need, and sometimes they will even ask for feedback. The job is already yours, as long as your uncle was serious about you wanting it, but I’m also interested in some of the songs that you wrote. I have someone who is a perfect match to sing them. Are you interested?”

  “Oh my God! Seriously?”

  He smiles and nods.

  “Yes, I’m interested… in all of it!”

  “I’m glad. I’ll call your uncle. I’m sure he wants his own lawyers to look over everything and then we can all meet again. The singers I’m thinking of are young too. Carly is twenty and Lucas is eighteen. They’ve been singing duets since they were friends in high school. They actually won a school contest. The video ended up online, and that is how I found them. About a year later, but I did! I signed them the same day. Here,” he pulls up one of their songs on YouTube so I can hear how they sound and they sound amazing. They kind of remind me of The Civil Wars. “After we get everything settled, we can all get together so you can meet them.”

  “That would be amazing. Thank you.”

  “Happy to have you here. I’m going to get Jenny to show you around the studio, and she can introduce you to the rest of the staff. I have to warn you though - Jenny is a morning person. She is very energetic.”

  I laugh. “Thanks for the warning.”

  He calls Jenny in and introduces us. She is in her twenties. She is tall and has red hair and green eyes. She is really pretty. She tells me that she wants to be an agent and Mr. Fisher has been teaching her the business from the ground up. She shows me the recording studio, the kitchen, another office, which she says that I can use whenever I need a break, and then, she introduces me to a young guy and an older woman who work with the technical stuff, Adam and Marcy.

  “And we have a tradition when it comes to new people,” she says.

  “Okay?”

  “You have to stay late on your first day. We will order pizza for dinner and then we bring out the karaoke machine.”

  “Oh. Lord,” I say. They are going to make me sing.

  The first day ends up being slow. Only one band comes in, and Jenny helps me make sure that the equipment is ready and that everything is working properly. She also sits with me while I listen to them. They are in and out within two hours. Then I end up using the office to do my schoolwork.

  Jenny comes to get me a few hours later.

  “Ready?” she asks.

  “I think,” I laugh.

  We go out to the kitchen where there are a few pizza boxes. Mr. Fisher joins us. It feels so odd at first, to have the boss right here, but everyone talks to him like he is their best friend, and after a while, I relax a bit too.

  “Okay.” Mr. Fisher says excitedly, “KARAOKE TIME!”

  We walk over to the recording room. “Per tradition,” he says, “the new person goes first.”

  Ugh.

  “Do you want to pick the song or should we?” asks Jenny.

  I say that I will. I don’t want to take the risk of them picking one of the songs that reminds me of Alec.

  I don’t have to look at the words on the screen. I just close my eyes and sing the song.

  When I finish, everyone is quiet.

  “Soooo. That bad huh?” I ask playfully.

  “GIRL!” says Jenny, “You can sing!”

  I turn bright red.

  Mr. Fisher just watches me curiously.

  The others sing after. Mr. Fisher included.

  When everyone starts to get ready to go home, Mr. Fisher stops me. “Do you have a few minutes, Skylar?”

  “Sure.”

  I follow him back to the kitchen and we both sit down.

  “Are you sure you want other people singing your songs?” he asks.

  “Why do you ask that?”

  “Because you could be the one signing them. You have a lot of talent.”

  I blush. “Thank you, but I’m sure. I can’t sing those lyrics, but someone should get to.”

  “Okay,” he says. “But let me know if you change your mind. Until anything is signed, you have time.”

  I thank him for everything and go home.

  Uncle J is waiting for me when I get back, “Hey kiddo!” he says excitedly. “I heard congratulations are in order.”

  I smile from ear to ear.

  “Aren’t you glad your uncle snooped around, and showed your lyrics to someone without your permission?”

  I roll my eyes, “I thought you said you didn’t snoop.”

  “I was just kidding. I really don’t.” He pauses long enough to grab the TV remote and change the channel. “So, I called my lawyer this afternoon and he said that we can all meet at the studio tomorrow. If all goes well, Dan (Mr. Fisher) said he would like to take us all out to dinner on Friday to meet the two that would be singing your songs.”

  “Okay. Sounds good.” I can hardly believe that things are moving so fast!

  “Well, go call your parents! Tell them everything.”

  I grin. “You're telling me that you didn’t already call them?”

  He laughs, “Maybe. But you can still tell your version of it.”

  I roll my eyes at him and pick up my phone to call them, but I freeze before dialing their number. A part of me wishes that Alec was the one I could call to tell the news. I really miss having him in my life.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  The next afternoon, Uncle J gets off work early and meets me at the studio, along with his lawyer. We sit down and the lawyer looks through the paperwork. Mr. Fisher read five of my songs and he wants three of them! Not bad! And seeing how much they are paying me for them shocks the hell out of me, and that doesn’t even count royalties. I wonder if it is because he is friends’ with Uncle J, until the lawyer tells us that the amount seems fair and that everything looks good. They email my parents the paperwork then the lawyer and uncle J call them to go over the main points. Shortly after, contracts are signed and Mr. Fisher asks if I can show him any new songs I might write in the future, and I agree to it. I get back to work while they stay in the office to talk, a
nd I find a very excited Jenny waiting for me.

  “We have to celebrate!” she says. I figured she already knew what was happening. Jenny is the type of person that I wish I had always had in my life. She is one of those people who are genuinely happy for you when something good happens. There is no secret agenda. She is just a good person.

  “What do you have in mind?” I ask.

  “Hmmm. Makeovers? Shopping? Girly stuff. It’s on me.”

  I agree and think about all the times I wished I had someone like her as a friend.

  After work, she waits for me outside. “Okay,” she says. “You have a new job and that amazing deal for your songs. I don’t know about you, but when I have new things happening to me, I always feel like I need something different… like a new look. Not that you need it!” she says.

  “Okay. I’m game for whatever,” I say. And so, she drags me to her favorite hair salon, where I agree to get highlights and layers in my hair. Then we go shopping for new clothes - mostly summer dresses and boots.

  It’s weird having an actual girlfriend to do this stuff with; someone who doesn’t poke at your past, and just talks about random things.

  On Friday, I wear one of those summer dresses to dinner. Uncle J drives us in his sports car and when we get to the Italian restaurant, everyone is already waiting on us. Carly and Lucas may be just friends, but they look like they could’ve been brother and sister. They both have brown eyes, tanned skin, and the same pitch-black hair; hers long and straight and his, just long enough to where it gives him a slacker look, like he just woke up in the morning and didn’t bother to do anything with it.

  The three of us are all nervous at first. They thank me for writing such amazing songs, and everything is all proper and formal, until after, when Uncle J invites everyone over to the house for a swim. Carly and Lucas jump at the opportunity even with Mr. Fisher gives them a warning look. Mr. Fisher ends up accepting the invitation too, but I think that is more to keep an eye on them than anything else.

  They have to go pick up their bathing suits, so we get to the house about thirty minutes before they do. When we arrive we find Amanda sitting down, watching TV. She rushes to Uncle J as soon as we open the door.