Catch Me If I Fall

by Daniele Lanzarotta

  I freeze. This is the first time I’ve actually seen her since Alec and I broke up and the look of pity in her eyes takes me right back to those days.

  She gives me a hug and asks how I’m doing.

  Uncle J notices how uncomfortable I am and pulls her aside, “Come on,” he says, “I have a lot to tell you. So much happened this week!” he looks at me, “Go ahead. Get ready before they get here.”

  I put on my bathing suit and when I get back downstairs, she rushes to me and gives me a hug. “Congratulations, Skylar! That is amazing and you deserve it!”

  “Thank you.”

  “Come on,” she says and she drags me outside. We sit by the pool, side by side, and I feel my heart pounding against my chest. I want to know how he is doing, but I’m afraid to ask.

  “How are you doing?” she asks.

  I laugh. “I think Uncle J already filled you in.”

  Her expression tells me that is not what she meant. We both know it.

  “How is he doing?” I finally ask.

  She shakes her head. “I’m assuming not well, considering that I haven’t seen him in months. He is always busy with something, and he decided to find a summer job near school instead of going home for the summer.”

  I take it all in, and the pain resurfaces. Every once in a while I wonder if I should call him; if I was too hard on him, but then, flashes of those pictures invade my memory, and I know that I can’t.

  “Skylar, I—” she says before Uncle J interrupts her.

  “Our guests are here,” says Uncle J, with Carly, Lucas, and Mr. Fisher following him in. Uncle J introduces Amanda to everyone, and he then sits down with Mr. Fisher. Carly and Lucas get ready and jump in the pool.

  “Are you coming in?” Carly asks, and I jump in too.

  Carly apparently used to be a swimmer in school and she is enjoying swimming back and forth. I sit on the steps and Lucas comes to sit next to me.

  “Do you mind if I ask you something?” he says.

  “What is that?”

  “I just like to know the story behind what I’m singing. I think it helps me convey the words and emotions in the way they should be, you know?”

  “Makes sense,” I say, but I wish he wouldn’t go there.

  “So, what is the inspiration behind those songs? Boyfriend?”

  “Ex-boyfriend,” I say as I stare at the water.

  “Ah. Thought so. Are you okay to talk about it?” he asks and I can’t help but to look toward Amanda, and I notice that she is watching us, and she seems sad… or annoyed… I can’t tell which.

  I sigh. “He was my everything, but I guess I wasn’t the same to him. I thought I was, but then, something happened.”

  “Got it,” he says. “Thank you. You really don’t have to talk about it anymore. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “It’s fine. I mean, I understand why you want to know. It’s just hard to talk about it.”

  “Because you still care for him even though you wish you didn’t?” he asks and I nod.

  “You know when you think you found the one, but so much stuff happens that you start to wonder if maybe it’s not meant to be? Like the Universe is against you?”

  He shakes his head. “No, but then again, that is why I’m not the one writing those amazing songs.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  “Come on,” says Lucas as he stands up. “I’m sure you have a guitar somewhere in this house. Can you get it?”

  I stand up and I notice that he stares right at the scar on the side of my waistline - the scar from the gunshot, but he doesn’t say anything.

  We get out of the pool. I wrap a towel around myself, and I go grab the guitar, which I haven’t touched in months. The only guitar I have here at the house is the one that Alec gave me for Christmas. I sit on the bed and stare at it. I can’t play it and I definitely can’t bring myself to let anyone else play it either.

  I sit here for a while, and eventually, Amanda knocks on the door and peeks inside.

  “Is everything okay?” she asks.

  I shake my head and she walks in and sits next to me.

  For the first time in months, I allow myself to cry over him.

  “I miss him,” I say. “I can’t stand how much I miss him. I keep thinking that time will make things better, and sometimes it seems that way, but then some stupid memory pops in my head and—”

  She hugs me and I cry on her shoulder.

  “Honey,” I hear Uncle J at the door and she sends him away.

  “Skylar,” she says, “Maybe you and Alec should talk. Avoiding one another won’t do any good. Maybe you can even work it out.”

  I pull away and shake my head. “I can’t be with someone I can’t trust.”

  She sighs.

  “I still wish you two would talk, but I understand.”

  I wipe the tears away.

  “Come on. We should go downstairs,” she says.

  I leave the guitar where it is and we head downstairs, where we find everyone getting ready to leave.

  “Is everything okay?” asks Lucas.

  “Yes. Sorry. I didn’t mean to take so long.”

  “No problem,” he says. “We have to head out anyway.”

  “Thanks again for the amazing songs, Skylar,” says Carly. “We will work on them this weekend. Can you meet us at the studio? We’d really like your feedback.”

  “Yeah. Of course.”

  We say our goodbyes and I go back to my room. I grab my phone and start scanning through old pictures; mostly of Alec and I, and some of Alec playing baseball. When I close them, I pull up his number and dial it. I just want to hear his voice.

  “Hello?” He says and he sounds like he just woke up.

  I close my eyes. The line goes silent for a while, and then his tone changes completely. “Sky? Is that you?”

  I hang up.

  He doesn’t call me back. Maybe he thinks I dialed the number by mistake, or maybe he just doesn’t want to talk to me. I change into my pajamas and do something I haven’t done in a while, and swore I would never do again… I cry myself to sleep.

  On Saturday, bright and early, Amanda wakes me up for breakfast and not long after, mom, dad, and Sebastian, walk in and join us.

  “So,” says Uncle J, “we officially have a date for the wedding.”

  “About time,” says mom. “When is it?”

  “Christmas Eve,” says Amanda. “The anniversary from when he proposed,” she grins. “I’ll be done with school in December, so that is perfect.”

  “Do I have to move out?” I ask.

  Uncle J and Amanda both laugh. “Of course not,” they both say at the same time.

  “Not that you couldn’t afford to move out with that check you got,” Uncle J jokes.

  “Haha,” I say. “So, where is the wedding?” I ask.

  “Well, we were thinking either right here by the pool or at the farm, since that is where I proposed,” he says.

  Amanda watches me curiously.

  I nod, thinking, ‘Please don’t let it be at the farm.’

  “Actually,” says Amanda. “I think that here would be perfect. I like the idea of looking out back, five or ten years from now, and remembering the big day.” She looks at me and winks. I couldn’t be more thankful.

  Uncle J raises an eyebrow at her. “Do you really think you can handle me for that long?”

  She laughs. “I wouldn’t be marrying you if I didn’t.”

  Ugh. I suddenly understand why Kyle kept making gagging sounds whenever Alec and I were like that.

  After breakfast, I get ready to go to the studio and Sebastian asks if he can come along.

  We get here before everyone else, except for Mr. Fisher who already has everything setup. I introduce him to Sebastian and make sure it is okay for Sebastian to be here. Then Carly and Lucas get in, each wearing sunglasses and holding a huge cup of coffee.

  “Not morning people?” I ask.

  “We will be
after we finish our coffee,” mumbles Lucas.

  They go to Mr. Fisher’s office and finish their coffee while I show Sebastian around.

  “So, how are things at home?” I ask.

  “Good,” he says. “We miss having you around.”

  “I miss you guys too.”

  I don’t mention his parents and neither does he. Last I talked to mom and dad about it, they were looking into what they need to do to get legal custody of Sebastian.

  “Your parents are letting me get a dog,” he blurts out.

  “No way!” I say.

  “Yep. With the condition that you go with us to help pick one out.”

  “Yeah. Of course! I’m just surprised. They always said they didn’t have time for a dog.”

  Sebastian laughs. “Well, I have time.”

  “Okay, everyone!” says Mr. Fisher. “Let’s do this.”

  We all take our places. Carly and Lucas go inside the recording room, as we watch them through the glass. Lucas sits with the guitar and Carly stands, closer to the microphone than he does.

  “Okay. Let’s see what you came up with,” says Mr. Fisher.

  About two minutes in, I say, “Not bad considering they aren’t morning people.”

  “Coffee does miracle work,” says Mr. Fisher.

  Mr. Fisher clicks a button on the table as soon as they are done, and starts to talk to them. “Okay, guys. It’s really great, but I’m not feeling the beginning. Do you mind if Skylar joins you and shows us what she had in mind when she wrote the song?”

  “Please do!” they both say.

  Gah. I wish I wasn’t blindsided like this. I’m able to sort of detach myself from the lyrics when I’m just listening, but singing it, is a real problem.

  I get up and join them. Lucas gives me his seat and hands me the guitar.

  “Here goes!” I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I start the song slower than they did. I also sing exactly how I pictured it, which means that the middle and ending are also slightly different, slower… sadder. I don’t open my eyes until I’m done with the song.

  When I finish it, they are watching me with their mouths hanging open. I blush. Why does everyone always have to react like that?

  Carly looks at Mr. Fisher. “And why is it that we are singing these songs?” she asks. “She is freaking amazing.”

  I laugh. “Thank you. That means a lot, but trust me, someone else needs to sing them.”

  “Okay guys,” says Mr. Fisher. “Fifteen minute break, then Skylar can work with you to make what she just did, happen! I’m going to go order lunch for Jenny to pick up on her way in.”

  “That was amazing,” says Sebastian.

  I’m just glad I was able to do that without crying.

  After we take a break, I go in again to practice with Lucas and Carly. They are quick learners. I go back out of the room and watch them sing. Three takes is all they need to sound perfect. By then, Jenny is already in the room with us, listening while we wait for them to be done so we can eat.

  We wrap up for the day and go to the kitchen where we find a bunch of sandwiches and chips.

  We all sit around the table and eat.

  “That was pretty amazing,” says Carly. “We should do something to celebrate.”

  “I can’t,” I say. “My parents are in town for the weekend.”

  Carly tilts her head to the side. “Why is it that you live with your uncle anyway?”

  “Carly!” Mr. Fisher warns her.

  “Sorry. I was just curious.” And I can tell that Lucas is just as curious.

  I hesitate. In a way, it is nice that they know nothing about my past.

  “You don’t have to answer it,” says Lucas.

  “Thank you,” I say. And maybe they were expecting me to actually tell them, but I don’t.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  I spend the next few weeks working with Carly and Lucas. We finish all three songs within a month. I love how they are laid back, drama free, and easy to work with. We just really have a blast working together.

  On the last day, Lucas is waiting for me outside when I get off work. Jenny steps out right after me and joins us.

  “Hey,” I say. “Missing this place, already?”

  He laughs. “Maybe. Hey, Jenny.” He pauses and looks from Jenny to me. “Actually,” he says, “I was wondering if you’d like to go out to get something to eat.”

  I look from him to Jenny, “You should go,” she winks at me as she walks away.

  “Oh. You mean, like a date?”

  He nods. “No pressure. Just dinner and maybe a movie. I mean… you have to eat, and we should definitely celebrate these last few weeks.”

  I feel nervous. “Lucas, I don’t think I’m ready to go on a date.”

  “Maybe not,” he says. “But you won’t know unless you get out there and date. I’m willing to be your rebound guy.”

  “I don’t know, Lucas.”

  “Come on. Look, if you are not having fun, we can leave in the middle of the dinner or movie, and I will take you home. No hard feelings. It will be like it never happened.”

  “Okay,” I finally agree.

  “I will pick you up in about an hour. Is that good?”

  I nod and walk toward my car. What in the world did I just agree to?

  I feel nervous. As in, sick to my stomach nervous. This feels wrong. I pick up the phone to cancel just as uncle J walks in.

  “You look nice,” says uncle J. “Breathe, kiddo, and tell me why you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  I tell him, and he says I should go and have fun. He brings up the fact that I’ve never even been on a casual date and that I’m reading too much into it. I agree to go and give it a try.

  Lucas picks me up on a motorcycle.

  “Where is your car?” I ask.

  “The car is Carly’s. I drive that awesome motorcycle right there.”

  Uncle J cuts in and looks at the motorcycle. “Nice!” he says. “But there is no way I’m letting my niece ride on that thing. You can take her car, or mine.”

  Lucas looks scared now. I laugh. “Come on, I will drive,” I say.

  On the way to the car, he says, “I guess now you can escape even faster. If you don’t have fun, you can just leave me stranded.” We burst into laughter. We both get in the car and I stop to think about how Alec never let me open the door. I don’t know why, but it just hits me. I do my best to let that go, and drive to the restaurant where he said he made reservations.

  We get to the restaurant and are seated right away. He takes the chair across from mine, we order our drinks, and look over the menu. Then I ask, “What is your story, Lucas?”

  He smiles. “I don’t think I have much of a story. I was born and raised in Missouri. I always liked music, but I really threw myself into it in high school. Then, right after I finished school, Mr. Fisher found us. I first moved to Nashville with Carly and then to Atlanta. Things have been happening pretty fast, mostly thanks to Carly, and thanks to you,” he winks at me then continues, “I like being drama free, and every once in a while, I appreciate having a night out with a pretty girl.” I blush right away. “What about you, Skylar. What is your story?”

  “How much do you like to be drama free?” I laugh, “Because I’m known to attract drama.”

  The waitress comes in and takes our order.

  “So… too much drama, huh? Come on, it can’t be that bad,” he says.

  “I’m serious,” I say. “I would probably scare you away. But I will tell you that I grew up in a small town in Tennessee and moved in with my uncle just a few months ago… due to way too much drama.”

  “You know,” he says, “all this mystery makes you even more attractive.”

  I laugh and look away. “Do you always just say stuff like that?”

  He grins. “I try. Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure,” I say.

  “You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to.”

/>   “Okay.”

  “The scar that you have, how did it happen? I just get the feeling there is a story behind it.”

  I take a deep breath. “I might as well tell you. You can Google my name and find out anyway.”

  “Really?” he asks. “Well, I wouldn’t look for it if you didn’t want me to. If it’s too personal—” he says, and I interrupt.

  “No. It’s fine. I just got used to blocking all of that stuff out.”

  “Skylar, you don’t have to.”

  And for some reason, I want to tell him. I just can’t bring myself to say the words.

  “You can look it up,” I say as I look at his phone.

  “Oh. You mean, right now?”

  “Sure.”

  He does and he starts reading. I know when he finds it when his smile turns into a frown and he looks up at me.

  “Sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t have asked. I feel like a crappy date now. Is this when you get up and leave me stranded, or do I have time to save the night?”

  I laugh.

  “Come on,” he says. “Let me take you somewhere else after we eat.”

  “Okay,” I agree. The food comes and we keep the conversation light for the most part. When we start talking about music and I end up telling him about Kyle and how much we used to play together.

  “What happened to him?” he asks.

  I sigh. “He is my ex-boyfriend’s best friend. I consider him a friend too, but it was just too hard talking to Kyle knowing that Alec was somewhere near him. I just stopped taking his calls. And now I’m the one who feels like a crappy date. I’m pretty sure bringing up an ex is against some kind of rule.”

  He grins. “He is part of your past. He was bound to come up.”

  The word past hits me hard. That is what he is now… my past. And everything about that feels wrong.

  Lucas pays the check and asks me if he can drive.

  He takes us to a karaoke bar.

  “Hmmm. I doubt I can get in,” I say.

  He winks at me. “I know a guy.”

  We get in, no questions asked. He puts our names on the list to sing.

  “Really?” I ask. “Are you just trying to show off?”

  He laughs. “Come on. It will be fun.”