Catching Fireflies

by Terri E. Laine

  He didn’t give me time to answer. My feet left the ground as he buried his face in my hair.

  “You smell so good,” he whispered into my ear.

  “And you smell like sweat.” But dammit, if it didn’t make my stomach do flips to be this close to him.

  “Just take the compliment and say thank you.”

  He pulled back. Suspended in the air, I said, “Thank you.”

  Like magnets, we were drawn together. I almost let my lips brush against his. But a second before I tipped my head, our foreheads met.

  “You’re going to be the death of me, you know that?” he growled.

  “No, you only have to put me down and walk away.”

  Somehow, I’d found a steel rod to hold up my spine and speak those words to him.

  “I’m going to put you down. But I’m not walking away.”

  Only he was wrong. He did both, seeing as he had to go to the locker room. But I got his meaning. And I wasn’t sure how much longer I would be able to resist him.

  Freshly changed after a shower, I walked out of the locker room with my duffel slung over my shoulder and found Brie waiting for me.

  “Hey,” I began. “I planned to pick you up at your dorm.”

  Kelley wasn’t far behind me and caught me talking to Brie. He chose to walk over to where Lenny and Shell waited a few feet away.

  “Why pick me up when I’m here?” she asked.

  “Because—”

  “Don’t give me your male chauvinistic rhetoric. It’s perfectly fine for a girl to pay for things on a date or drive said date around.”

  Damn, if it wasn’t sexy as fuck when she used words I had to think about for a second in order to recall their meaning. “It’s easier if I drive.”

  “So drive my car.” Her rapid-fire responses made it hard to come up with reasonable replies.

  She opened my palm and dropped her keys in them.

  “Your car isn’t built for the likes of me.”

  I was a big guy, and her car was built for tiny females like herself.

  Her eyes rolled as she said, “They have YouTube videos that would prove you wrong.”

  I glanced back at Kelley and gave him a shrug, letting him know he didn’t have to wait for me. Then I followed Brie because only she knew where she’d parked.

  “What about Lenora and Shell?”

  “You aren’t that dense. Kelley is there and can give them a ride.”

  It was true. “I have to pick up something at the house.”

  She sighed, but didn’t argue. I opened the car door for her when we reached it. After, I had to move the driver’s seat back before I could fold myself into the car. It was surprisingly comfortable once everything was adjusted.

  “See,” she said.

  We made it back to the house, and I implored her to remain in the car. Kelley’s truck was there, and if the girls saw each other again, who knew when we’d leave. And I was on a time deadline.

  “What you got there?” Sawyer teased.

  “Leave him alone,” Shell said with narrowed eyes. “You are such a—”

  “Such a what?” he asked.

  I hurried up with my bag and hightailed it out of there. Ashton was already coming into the living room, and I caught the murderous look on his face. I had a feeling he would come to Shelly’s rescue.

  Getting back in the car a second time took a lot less finagling.

  “Where are you taking me today?”

  “Impatient, are you?”

  “Just trying to make conversation.”

  “You want conversation? How was your date last night?”

  If her eyes could, they would’ve stabbed me in that moment. “Is this some sort of game to you? Why would you want to hear about my date?”

  She had it right, but one couldn’t win the war without intel.

  “You’re the one who said we were friends. I’m just looking out for you.”

  “Fine. The date went great. I think I really like the guy. Is that what you want to hear?”

  It wasn’t. Silence lingered until finally I offered her my hand, palm up.

  “What’s that for?”

  “Truce,” I said and watched her face clear of suspicion.

  But once her hand was in mine, I almost confessed it had also been a ploy to touch her. She didn’t take her hand away as we drove the rest of the way in silence. And the nearly hour drive with our hands clasped made up for any lack of conversation.

  “Another lake?” she asked as we parked.

  “Not exactly. The waterhole at the school is technically a pond. This is a lake.”

  I walked her down to a private dock where a small paddleboat awaited us. Funny the things you could find on the Internet. I rented the boat yesterday, and there it waited. Two life vests and four oars also sat in the boat. I dropped my bag in before I helped Brie inside.

  “I’ve never been fishing before.”

  “Good to know. But today we aren’t fishing,” I said.

  When she reached for the oars, I stopped her.

  “Are you doing that man is better than woman thing again?”

  “Nope,” I said. “I know you are more than capable. But let me do this for you.”

  She smiled, and I positioned the oars to row us out toward the middle. It was late in the day, and the spot was peaceful and quiet. The only noise outside of nature was the rustling of the water as my oars broke the surface.

  “It’s beautiful. You have a way of picking amazing spots.”

  I’d told her she was the most beautiful thing before, so that time I said, “It’s all in the inspiration I’m given.”

  “You’re not going to break me,” she said and for a second I wondered if she meant to say it out loud.

  “I’m not trying to break you, Brie. I’m trying to prove I’m worthy of you.”

  “You’re just making it harder on the both of us.”

  “Only on you. He’s not right for you, Brie. He can’t possibly care for you the way I do. There is no way he knows what he has. I do, because I’ve lost you, and I feel what I’m missing.”

  “And that’s the thing. You broke me. In a strange way, I still respect you. You could have played me, but you chose to be honest. And that is one thing that makes you a really great guy, Chance. I know this. But my heart also knows heartbreak at your hand. Despite your good intentions, I was a casualty.”

  A part of me wanted to turn back and give up this battle I was losing. She must have seen the defeated look on my face because hers softened.

  “I’m sorry. It’s not fair. You’ve set the stage for something, and I don’t want to take it away from you.”

  “You’re wearing your bathing suit, right?” I’d suggested she should in a text earlier. She nodded. “I thought we could go swimming.”

  “I should have guessed, but why not. It’s hot and the water looks cool.”

  She stripped off her shirt, and I was suddenly dumbfounded.

  “Are you coming in?”

  I wanted to. It might have been the only way for me to get my dick to calm the fuck down. But there was no way I could stand in that moment.

  “After you,” I said.

  She stood, rocking the boat some, and dropped her jean shorts. And I had to discreetly move my hand between my legs to push down my growing stiffy. Thank goodness she didn’t seem to notice.

  The boat rocked harder when she dove in. I sat stupefied for a second when I realized I needed to be in the water before she surfaced. Otherwise, she would classify me along with all the other guys in her life who only saw her as a sex object. That much I knew from the things she called me when I told her I wanted to cool things off and why.

  I carefully leaped out of the boat and prayed the damn thing didn’t tip over. Most of the stuff I brought for later wasn’t meant to get wet.

  The water was lukewarm and chilled my skin somewhat. Not having surfaced yet, I found Brie’s legs and pulled her under. She wasn’t happy when
she sputtered to the surface, and a game of keep-away ensued. At some point, tired, we waded and she’d brushed hair out of her face. Damn, if she wasn’t the definition of perfection. She was free of makeup with a scattering of freckles dusted over her face, and I was filled with emotions that I didn’t think were possible again.

  I thought about Dad and what a sap he was for Mom, but I said what was in my head anyway. “No matter if you choose that guy or not, I’ll be waiting for you, Brie.”

  “Chance, you can’t mean that?”

  “I’m dead serious.”

  “So, if I sleep with him, you’ll still wait for me?”

  Swallowing, I took a moment to think about it. Then I nodded.

  “What if I don’t want you to wait for me? What if I tell you there’s nothing you can ever do to change my mind?”

  “Is that how you feel?”

  She looked away, unable to hold my stare, and that was when I saw the cracks forming in her resolve.

  “It’s pointless, Chance. If it’s not him, it will be someone else. But it won’t be you.”

  Her words should’ve cut at my chest, and they did. But I deserved it and so much more.

  Somewhere, I mustered the bravado to say, “So you say.”

  “Maybe we should head in. I’m getting cold.” She couldn’t look at me. I swam under the boat and grabbed ahold of the other side. “Go ahead and get in.”

  “How will you get in?”

  There was a trick to it. As she pulled on one side, I on the other, we landed somewhere in the middle. The boat rocked, and we hooted until it settled. Then I was up and getting a towel for her from the bag. She wrapped herself in it.

  I glanced up, and it was like the curtain on a stage had finally lifted. I wrapped a towel around myself and said, “I can’t take you to fancy restaurants or art shows. I don’t have the money to compete with that guy. But as far as art goes, nothing is more beautiful than what is gifted to us naturally.”

  I pulled her forward, and the boat shook a little. I pointed to the western sky, and she had to shift her back toward me to see, which was what I wanted.

  “The sky will paint itself a million different colors, no real paint required.” It was very different from the sunset we’d experienced the other night. This time the trees didn’t obscure the brilliance that danced off the lake in ways she clearly saw as her lips slightly parted in awe.

  I reached around her for the bag, and she didn’t take her eyes off the sky as the boat swayed some more.

  Inside I produced wine and glasses. It was a wonder they didn’t break. They were some of Sawyer’s fancy shit, but he wouldn’t mind.

  “Wine?”

  “And cheese,” I said, because I could be fancy, too.

  “Nice. You went all out.”

  Only the best for the best, I didn’t say.

  She let me hold her under the premise of keeping her warm, but I took it. I held optimism that maybe she was coming around until she added, “One day, you’re going to make some girl very happy.”

  Staring off into space, I bit at my nails. The night before last still replayed in my mind.

  “What’s going on?”

  I glanced up to see Lenora sans Mason who was at daycare by now. She set her tray down before joining me.

  “Nothing.”

  “Doesn’t look like nothing.”

  Staring her squarely in the eye, I said, “I’m good.”

  “Okay. I won’t press, but I can be just as persistent as you were with me. I’m your friend. Hell, you’re my best friend.”

  “I know,” I whispered.

  Kelley showed up with his mob of friends, including Chance. Kelley sat next to Lenora, but Chance didn’t sit next to me. In fact, he sat as far away as he could on the opposite end and side of the table.

  Unable to stop myself, I ogled him for a long moment, taking in his dimpled smile.

  “Sawyer, everything doesn’t center around getting laid,” he said with a grin. His eyes caught mine for a second before two girls came over and took his attention away. I couldn’t hear what they had to say as they giggled and whispered. But he never lost his smirk.

  “Don’t mind them,” Lenora said, my focus returning to her. “He only has eyes for you.”

  “You should listen to her,” Kelley added, but didn’t say more.

  Another glance in Chance’s direction and I found him speaking while staring at me. But Chance and his mob weren’t the only guys in the café to have a fan club.

  Toward the front with a tray in his hand, Davenport searched for a table.

  “Who’s that?” Lenora asked.

  Knowing I could trust her, I said, “That’s the guy.”

  Kelley, within earshot, turned to get a gander as well. So much for secrets.

  “So, go over there and talk to him,” Lenora encouraged.

  Softly, I shook my head side to side. “I can’t. We…” I glanced over at Kelley, but he’d been pulled into something Sawyer said, I’d missed. “We can’t. And don’t say it,” I added.

  My phone rang, and I answered it, seeing it was my sister.

  “Hey, Brie Berry.”

  She sounded tired.

  “Brenda, what’s up?”

  It was odd to hear from her during the day. She had office hours at this time, unless she too was at lunch.

  “You’re an aunt…again.”

  My mouth fell open. “It’s too soon.”

  “It is, but your niece is as stubborn as you are. She wouldn’t wait no matter how much we tried to coax her to.”

  “Are you okay? Is she okay?” The last question came out slowly. She would be about two months premature. That couldn’t be good.

  “I’m good. Mom and Dad are here and so is Carl.”

  She didn’t answer about my niece, and I was reluctant to ask again.

  “Should I come?”

  Lenora’s face came into focus and was covered in worry. I waved her fear away.

  “No, Brie Berry. Brianna will be in the NICU for the foreseeable future. You won’t be able to hold her, and visiting hours are limited. By the time you come home for Thanksgiving, she’ll be good.”

  Relief filled me. Her optimism was a good sign. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m a pediatrician. I’m sure. She’ll be fine. She’s a fighter, like you. That’s why we named her Brianna.”

  My heart soared even though my name wasn’t shortened from Brianna. My birth certificate read plain old Brie.

  “I’m honored that you thought of me when you named her.”

  It was really cool. However, my excitement was tempered by the fact that my niece’s life was in danger despite what my sister lead me to believe.

  “And you’re her godmother. So get ready to change some diapers.”

  My brother had kids, but I hadn’t been given that honor. His wife’s family and friends had filled those roles. And I wasn’t the godparent of my sister’s son either.

  “Most definitely,” I gushed, unable to hold back all of a sudden. “I can’t wait to see her.”

  “Oh, you will. I’ll text you tons of pictures every day.” I smiled. Brenda didn’t always act like she was a lot older. “And how are you? How’s school? You’re not spending every waking moment studying, are you?”

  “If I want to be like you when I grow up, I have to.”

  She laughed. “You have to live a little, okay, baby sister?” I didn’t get a chance to respond. I heard conversation in the background “Okay, Carl and the doc are ganging up on me. They want me to rest, so here’s Mom.”

  The phone changed hands. “Brie, honey. I know we haven’t talked in a while, but how’s school going?”

  “Good.”

  “Good, good,” she repeated as if she didn’t know what to say. “And don’t listen to your sister. Study hard if you want to be the next future doctor of the family.”

  “Absolutely,” I said with zero heart. “Tell Dad and Carl I said hi. But I really should
be going. I have a paper to write.”

  Which was true.

  “All right, honey.”

  The awkward conversation ended. And I didn’t blame my parents. I knew they loved me. They just didn’t relate to me. I hurried through my meal after giving Lenora a brief wrap-up of my call.

  “What are you doing tonight?” She winked, asking cryptically because she knew about my date.

  Kelley and the mob were talking about a football game and weren’t at all paying attention to us.

  “I think we’re having dinner at his apartment and watching a movie.”

  “Do you think that’s a good idea? They’re playing movies on the quad this weekend.”

  “You know we can’t be seen together.”

  Her brow lifted as if she’d baited me into a point. “Support me on this?” I asked. “I really like him.”

  She nodded.

  Later that night, I found myself sitting on the floor in front of a TV eating Chinese food.

  As a psychology major, I recognized the seeds Lenora planted in me. And I refused to let the doubt plant roots.

  I put my box of food to my right side and faced the man next to me.

  “What do you see in me?” I asked boldly.

  Not being a dummy, he didn’t rush to answer. Instead, he placed his food to the right side of him. His hand reached up and caressed the side of my face.

  “Everything. Strength, beauty. In fact, I’m still amazed that you’re a virgin.”

  Jokingly, I hoped, I asked, “Is my virginity a prerequisite?”

  He didn’t get a chance to answer. We were interrupted by the buzz of his cell phone. Answering it, he got up and held a finger to me before disappearing behind another door I assumed was his bedroom.

  My stomach flipped over. I couldn’t tell if it was good or bad. Would tonight be the night? We still hadn’t kissed. For a second, my eyes unfocused. Chance’s image danced in my head. How he’d caressed my cheek like I was a porcelain doll and stared at me as if I were just that precious. If I could be honest with myself, I’d wanted him to break the rules and kiss me that night. And how could I be thinking about Chance when I was out with another guy?

  “Brie.”

  Blinking, Davenport came into view.

  “I’m sorry, but something’s come up. I’m going to have to end our night early.”