Who He Is

by S. Q. Williams

  In the back of my mind, I knew it would probably be impossible.

  During the process of girly-ing myself up, I couldn’t help but relive the moments when Gage and I kissed—my first kiss, and it was better than I’d ever imagined. His lips molded with mine perfectly. His kisses always started off slow, tender, erotic, but then they would pick up and become slightly demanding, hungry, yet still a huge turn-on for me.

  I noticed every time he kissed me, one of his hands would press against the small of my back; the other would cup my face. He wanted the kiss to drag on for however long, and I was willing. I never wanted to pull away from him. The only time we would stop was if we were interrupted and someone bumped into us or if we were running off to most likely find a new spot to make out.

  The addition of his tongue made the kisses whole. He knew exactly how to play with mine—how to slide it around so I would become weak at the knees. Every time we tasted one another, I was reminded that his tongue had explored more places of my body than one. I didn’t think it was possible to get so excited with someone like him and with the alcohol coursing through me, it made the night ten times more fun for us.

  Gage and I talked a lot, but for some reason I couldn’t remember about what. I knew a lot of the conversations were pointless, but some seemed so meaningful that I cursed at myself in the mirror for not remembering. Gage had opened up to me in some ways. He didn’t give me much (otherwise, I would remember it), but it was enough for me to see that maybe he wasn’t the arrogant rocker I thought he was.

  I was frowning at myself in the mirror entirely too much that I didn’t even notice someone had come inside the bus. Something heavy dropped on the floor and I gasped, spinning around and yanking the door open. I hurried down the hallway but paused in front of Cal’s wide-open door.

  He was standing above a stack of magazines, his gaze down and focused intently on them. I couldn’t figure out what he was thinking, but as I cleared my throat, he looked up and at the sight of me he smiled sweetly.

  “Oh, hi, Eliza,” he said, tossing me a light wave and stepping in front of the magazines.

  I waved back. “Hi. What are you doing?” Cal’s eyes traveled southward and I looked with him, embarrassed that I was still walking around in only my towel.

  “I see you’re getting ready for the waterpark today.” He chuckled.

  I blushed. “Um… yeah.” I took a step back, but he came toward me, his head tilted, a smile still on his lips.

  “I was just going through some of the magazines for It’s Real. Trying to figure out what should be included, taken out, etc.”

  “Oh.” I nodded, my lips pressed.

  He studied me for another moment, ogling my cleavage mainly and not bothering to hide it. “Everyone’s partnering up for the waterpark today,” Cal said, finally looking into my eyes. “Who’s your partner?”

  My eyebrows stitched. “I didn’t think I had to have one.”

  “Well, of course you do.” He laughed. “What fun would it be not to have a partner at a waterpark? Ben rented the whole park out for us anyway, and it would kind of suck if you got lost.”

  “What? Why would he rent out the whole thing?”

  “I don’t know.” He ran a hand through his hair. “It might be because he doesn’t want the boys to get trampled by hundreds of half-naked women.”

  I nodded, my lips pressing again. His reason was right on. “It’s kind of weird that twenty-three and twenty-four-year-old men are going to a waterpark anyway.” I laughed.

  “FireNine is hilarious. They’ll have fun anywhere. I heard it was Montana and Gage’s idea. They have a few people coming along with them as well, so I’m sure they’re already partnered up.” Cal hesitated, looking me over. “I don’t have a partner. I thought we could maybe… you know… partner up?”

  I giggled. “We can, but what about Ben?”

  “Ben’s a great guy… I just don’t think he’s the kind of guy I should be hanging out with… at a waterpark. Not that he isn’t cool to hang with, he’s just—”

  “Gay,” I blurted, laughing.

  “Uh… yeah,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “It would be kind of awkward to be half-naked with him the entire time—no offense. Besides, I think it’d be much better to see you that way—but don’t tell him I said that.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at him. I knew he wasn’t being offensive. “Okay. We can be partners. What time is everyone going?”

  “I believe within the next hour. The band’s just getting back in from their night out.”

  “Oh, okay.” I took a step back and started down the hallway. “I’ll be out in a bit.”

  “Can’t wait.” He winked.

  I ducked into my room before he could catch me turning a bright shade of red. It was going to be a fun sight to see Cal Avery half-naked. I knew beneath the vintage T-shirts he wore, he had a glorious body. I was hoping it would be a six-pack I could drool all over. Oh, how delectable would that be?

  I locked my door behind me before scrambling through my suitcase to find my bathing suits. I’d packed two of them. The last time I’d gone swimming was during my last semester of college. I swam at the community indoor pool as part of my workout. Ben gave me money every week, so I bought bathing suits and athletic clothes whenever I could. It was probably why it was so hard for me to find anything when we packed for the FireNine tour. All I had was shorts, tank tops, and sports bras. The clothes I’d packed for the tour were all bought with Ben, and he had to approve every single thing I picked out while shopping.

  I came across my teal one-piece without a back and my pink-and-white striped two-piece that made my boobs seem bigger than they were. I also had the newest black-and-white suit I wore while jet skiing. I had to put it aside, though. I didn’t want to repeat it.

  My lips twisted as I held the teal and pink one up in front of me, debating on whether I wanted to be lame and simple with the one-piece or adventurous and mildly sex with the two-piece. I figured adventurous and mildly sexy was best while with the band. I couldn’t afford to be laughed at. Plus, I would’ve rather had the boys drooling over me than chuckling over my choice of a one-piece. “Maybe next time, onesie,” I mumbled, tucking the teal bathing suit back into the suitcase.

  I strapped on my suit, grabbed a pair of ripped-up shorts to wear over my bottoms and a white tank to wear over my top. They didn’t need to see me half-naked yet. It was bad that the one person I was most concerned about seeing me half-naked was Gage. Even though he’d more than seen the bottom half of me, I knew I was still going to be uncomfortable around him—especially since I’d just rejected him, flat-out.

  I placed my sunglasses and camera into my extra white satchel, strapped on the bag, and then headed out. Cal was in the kitchen making a turkey sandwich. As his eyes swung up to look at me, he paused in spreading his mayonnaise and I blushed, forcing myself to keep my head up as I placed my satchel on the sofa. “I don’t know how I’m going to focus on the slides when you’re stealing all my attention away,” he teased.

  I giggled, stepping behind him to get to the fridge. I pulled out a bottled water and then dug through one of the drawers for some pills. I finally came across a bottle of painkillers and dumped two into the palm of my hand.

  “Had a rough night last night?” Cal asked.

  I hesitated with my response. It didn’t get rough until this morning. “No,” I said.

  “Oh, did you have fun?” He bit into his sandwich and I gulped down my pills, allowing the water to chase right after them for a smoother swallow. “I know how the band can get crazy. Didn’t they go to a house party or something last night?”

  “Yeah,” I breathed. “It was pretty wild but fun. I didn’t mind it.”

  “Oh. That’s great.” He smiled over his sandwich and then stepped out of the kitchen. “I’ll be ready in just a sec.”

  I nodded, watching him trot off to his room before turning around to lean my lower back ag
ainst the counter. I sighed, pressing my fingers against my temples and going over last night again and again. Why the hell couldn’t I just get over it? It was one night of fun with Gage… one night with Gage I was never going to forget. One night with him that seemed to steam up and turn into something else entirely—something more than fun.

  I hated facing the truth of it. The entire night of the house party I thought Gage was going to leave me to dance with another chick, but he didn’t. In fact, he brushed off most of the girls who came our way. He was by my side the whole night. A few girls leaned into him, revealing their cleavage and hooking their arms around his neck, and he would flirt back, but it was only temporary. He would whisper something in their ear and they would nod, walk off, and then he would grab my hand to go somewhere quieter.

  Darker.

  Alone.

  He spent more time with me than his band and that was speaking volumes. Montana kept trying to get Gage to join him in a session of hookah and even on the dance floor to see how many dances they could get, but Gage stuck with me. I kept insisting he go with them, but he would shrug it off. He would then whisper in my ear, “I have plenty of nights ahead of me to spend with them. I probably won’t be having many more with you. I like being with you.”

  Of course I bubbled over, sparked with heat, intensity. I couldn’t help myself. He was right. We only had two months on tour to be stuck together. He had the rest of his life to be with his band, unless they were to split up, but even then, I knew they would still be close.

  “I was thinking maybe we could catch some smoothies before we hit the waterpark.” Cal’s voice thundered, interrupting my thoughts. I looked up quickly—maybe a little too quickly because at the sight of his body, my mouth gaped. I drank him in a little too fast and caught a dizzy spell on top of the minor headache I had.

  I was right about the six-pack… and about the gloriousness of his body… and about me drooling over it. His skin was flawless and perfectly tanned. I wanted to slide my hands along his torso, pull him against me, and maybe kiss each pec, if he would’ve allowed me permission to do so. His nipples were perfect. Not too big or too small. Not too light of a pink, but just right against his smooth complexion. He’d even gelled his hair. Damn. Cal was hotter than hell.

  “Uh…” I trailed off, gripping the edge of the counter. I tried to get myself to look up into his eyes, but it just wouldn’t happen. I was too stuck on his body—on the curves and smooth, firm hills that stuck out most.

  Finally, Cal chuckled and my eyes shot up to meet his. Another swarm of embarrassment consumed me and my face lit on fire. I couldn’t believe myself. Was I really that weak? This proved I’d been around too many boys for too long. I was becoming an Eliza Smith with raging hormones. “Would you like smoothies?” he asked, laughing.

  I nodded quickly. “Uh… yeah. Smoothies sound great.”

  “Good.” He smirked, tying the drawstring of his green trunks. He had the deep creases on either side of his pelvis that trailed down to what I assumed was his rather large package. I called those creases on the pelvis the “Matthew McConaughey” creases. The deep V that every woman wanted to slide her tongue along repeatedly. Damn, it was so hot on Cal. “Let me get a shirt and we can go grab some.”

  I should’ve stopped him from grabbing a shirt. I wanted to stare at his body for the rest of the day. A part of me was actually glad he was my partner for the evening. I could stare from a distance; watch the way the muscles in his back rippled with each stride he took, just like I was at this very moment. I could imagine myself ripping his shirt off just to get another good look.

  But I had to be patient. He wasn’t going to have the shirt on long anyway. As soon as we were to grab our smoothies and head to the waterpark, his shirt would be off again and I could bask in his beauty. I could drink him whole and only hope he wouldn’t notice.

  It was a good thing a half-naked Cal was going to be my waterpark partner because at this very moment, I realized I wasn’t even thinking about Gage or the previous night we shared. I was sort of glad my mind was too distracted by Cal to think about the stress between Grendel and me.

  As we pulled into the parking lot of the waterpark, I could make out the tall waterslides in various colors. Some of them made me nervous. I was never a fan of heights so to know I had to go that high kind of freaked me out.

  I stepped out of the truck, taking in the colorful sign with the title of the waterpark on it and then the woman waiting at the gates. As she saw the band hop out of their truck, she smiled eagerly, bouncing up and down.

  “This should be fun, huh?” Cal asked, placing a hand against the small of my back.

  I looked up at him and nodded. “It should. Just don’t splash me too much,” I teased.

  “Oh, I think it’d be great to get you wet.”

  I bit on a smile as we walked toward the entrance. I could hear the message he was trying to deliver behind his sentence and he knew it just as well as I did because he laughed silently.

  “Welcome to The Lagoon!” the woman chimed eagerly. “Oh, it’s so great to have you all.” She opened the gates and allowed Cal and me in, but she stepped in the way as FireNine came up. “Welcome!” she chimed again. “Listen, my daughter is a huge fan of you guys. She can never go a day without singing one of your songs, talking about Montana…”—Montana smirked at that—“or even about Roy back there.” Oddly, Roy looked down at his feet, seeming uncomfortable. “After you’re all worn out from hanging at The Lagoon, I would love it if you could autograph a few things for me. It would make her so happy.”

  “Of course.” Montana grinned. “Anything for the kiddos.”

  The woman blushed. “Well, she’s eighteen.”

  Montana simply smirked. “Anything for the ladies.” He wiggled his eyebrows, but the woman didn’t seem to catch his drift. Finally, after Ben and the crew started coming our way, she allowed the boys in.

  “Don’t forget!” she yelled as they got halfway in.

  Gage and Deed laughed, but Roy shook his head, running a hand through his hair.

  “The chicks really dig Roy, huh?” Cal asked, grinning at the boys.

  Gage’s eyes swung over to Cal and then his gaze shifted down to Cal’s hand that was still on my back. His hazel eyes darkened a bit and then he looked into my eyes. Fidgeting, I took a small step away and luckily Cal didn’t seem to notice.

  “The ladies do love Roy,” Gage said dryly.

  “I don’t know why,” Roy muttered. Roy’s voice was deep, heavy. It was weird to hear him actually speak, but his voice suited him. Roy saw me staring in disbelief and narrowed his eyes at me, his eyebrows drawn in.

  “Where’s everybody else?” he asked, looking at Montana.

  “Coming,” Montana sighed. “But for now I think we need to crack open some beers.” Montana looked down at the cooler Deed had dragged in on its wheels. I was pretty sure it was illegal to have beer at a waterpark, but since we were the only ones around, I guess it didn’t matter.

  The boys stepped ahead of us to get to the nearest pool. As they walked by, Gage looked at me over his shoulder and shook his head. I frowned at him and then his lips curled into a knowing smirk. I shuddered before looking away.

  “So,” Cal sighed. I looked at him quickly. “Which slide would you like to go on first?”

  “Um…” I took a look around. There were tons of waterslides. I couldn’t decide alone. “I don’t know. Which one would you like to go on first?” I asked, adjusting the strap of my satchel.

  “We could try the one called The Tunnel. Sounds fun,” he said, nodding his head at the large blue one only a few feet away.

  “Sure.”

  Cal and I started our walk, but then Ben’s voice called our names. I spun around quickly as he jogged toward us, a wide smile on his lips. “I hope you two aren’t running off to do the do.” He flashed a smile, wiggling his eyebrows.

  I flushed and Cal laughed, looking down at me. “Not at all, Be
n. Just going to catch a few water slides.”

  “Great. Liza, if you need me I’ll be out tanning by the big pool. Far away from the boys and their nasty party they plan on throwing.”

  I frowned. “Party? You’re letting them throw a party here?”

  “They used their money to rent this place out. They call it being spontaneous. I call it bullshit. Any fines they get are on their hands.” He pulled me in by the face to kiss my cheeks. “Later, dearest.” With that, he turned around and walked with the crew to most likely find the largest pool.

  I shook my head, turning to see where the band was. I could make out a glimpse of what they were doing. Gage and Montana were racing to see who could drink his beer the fastest. How glad was I to have Cal as my partner instead of any of them? I didn’t want to be stuck with them again.

  Cal hooked his arm across my shoulders and spun me around. “Don’t worry. I’ll be sure we have fun.”

  I smiled up at him and we started forward.

  When we made it up the stairs to get to the top of the slide, a young man was already waiting up there. He smiled, looking us over and then looking behind us, as if more people were supposed to be coming. Perhaps he’d heard about FireNine renting the park out and was looking forward to seeing them as well, just to brag about it. I could see the spark die within his eyes once he realized we were the only ones.

  The boy stepped out of our way and Cal asked me if I wanted to go down alone. I looked down the length of the slide and shook my head quickly. That was a hell to the no. I couldn’t go down that slide alone. It was so high up and the pool at the bottom seemed so far away.

  With a simple chuckle, Cal stepped out of his flip-flops, pulled his shirt over his head, and I gawked because I’d completely forgotten about his delicious body. I had to snap out of it, though. I was lucky he didn’t catch me staring, so I shook my head and slipped out of my tank top and jeans. I kicked my flip-flops to the side and the boy told us he was going to take our things to the bottom so we wouldn’t have to come back upstairs for it.