Who He Is

by S. Q. Williams

  At the thought of the safety Ben provided, I inhaled again, breathing and nodding until I felt stable enough to take a step toward the water. Breathe. Calm down and breathe, Eliza.

  “What are you doing out here by yourself?” a deep voice asked from behind me, causing me to spin around quickly.

  I gasped as Gage took slow strides toward me, his head tilted and a soft smirk on his lips. The jeans he wore were snug but loose. His hair was perfectly and deliciously tousled. He had on a light-grey muscle T-shirt along with matching light-grey Chuck Taylors. Oh, how he loved his Chuck T’s. Although his clothes were basic and casual, he looked completely irresistible. Amazingly delectable.

  I cleared my throat softly, straightening myself, but the smile that had once been gracing his lips faded once he caught sight of my depressing features and glistening eyes. “Are you okay?” he asked, stepping closer.

  “Fine.” I waved him off, running my other hand across my nose. I tightened my grip around the bag of my art supplies and then looked into his concerned eyes. “How did you know where I was?”

  He smiled faintly. “Benny boy.”

  “Of course,” I sighed, returning the faint smile.

  “Seriously, though,” he said, gazing around at the empty beach, “why are you out here alone? I waited for you on your bus, but an hour passed and there was still no sign of you. After another two hours, I thought I’d come check up on you.”

  “I did some drawing and painting. It’s been a while. Thought I’d get away from you and the boys for one night to do what I love.” I shrugged, forcing a smile. “Why aren’t you out partying with them anyway?”

  Gage looked down at the art supplies tucked beneath my arm and then into my eyes again. “I thought it’d be more fun to hang with you. I thought maybe you would have wanted to join us, but seeing as you ran off without telling us anything, I guess I was wrong.” He smirked.

  “It’s not that.” I laughed, adjusting the heavy supplies beneath my arm. “I just had to clear my head, you know?”

  Gage nodded, licking his dry bottom lip. He then took a slow step toward me to take the supplies from beneath my arm as if he felt my struggle. He placed the bag down on the sand and then gazed into my eyes, his meek and adorable. “Sometimes nights off are good.” He inhaled, then exhaled, taking a look around. “How about we take a walk?”

  I grinned, excited at the thought, but I didn’t want to keep him from his fun. As much as I would’ve loved to walk with Gage, I sort of knew he would like partying with his band more. “Gage, I don’t wanna hold you back. It’s fine. Really. If you wanna hang with them, go ahead. I can’t stop you.”

  “You aren’t stopping me. If I really wanted to party tonight, I wouldn’t have wasted time coming here.” My lips twisted morosely and he chuckled. “But as I’ve said before, we only have a few weeks to share. I have pretty much the rest of my life with them. I’m sure it’ll be just as fun with you as it is with them. I don’t mind, Ellie.”

  Unwinding my lips, I smiled up at him and his head tilted adorably. He revealed a boyish grin and then, unexpectedly, bent down to untie his shoes. “What are you doing?” I giggled.

  “Just bought these. Don’t need ‘em getting wet or dirty.”

  I smirked at him and as soon as his socks and shoes were off and I kicked my flip-flops to the side, I grabbed the hand he offered and we began our peaceful walk along the shore.

  For the most part, my walk with Gage was entertaining. What amused me most was that his hand hardly left mine and if it did, it was so he could hook his arm around my shoulders and pull me in against him. It was comforting to be next to him—to laugh with him and tease him. The feeling was unfamiliar, but I enjoyed it. I was getting accustomed to smiling, grinning, blushing, and teasing.

  He didn’t seem to mind much, either.

  I noticed one thing about Gage I thought was weird, though. Whenever I would ask him about his family or his past, he would brush me off and change the subject. I grew suspicious, but I wasn’t one to pressure anyone into talking. I hated when people pressured me, so I just left it alone.

  But then Gage asked something that completely caught me off guard…

  “Are you still going to talk to Cal and Montana?”

  I stared up at him blatantly, my eyes stretching. “Why would you assume I was talking to either of them?”

  “You stare at them a lot. Talk to them a lot.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Probably more than me.”

  I laughed, thinking in the back of my mind how he had no clue how much I stared at him. There wasn’t even a comparison in this situation. Had there been a chart, Gage’s side would have skyrocketed and outshone both of theirs. Montana didn’t even pique my interest. He was only a friend—almost like a long-lost brother. Although Cal did have a nice body, Gage had more for me to look at. “I don’t stare,” I corrected. “I admire.”

  “Well… admire. Whatever. Do you find them more interesting than me?”

  “No,” I blurted. Right after, I was embarrassed, especially when he grinned at me. “You’re just being really silly right now. Montana and I are just friends, just like Cal.”

  “On a scale of one through ten, what am I to you, Ellie?”

  “Ten being the hottest?” I asked, smiling at him.

  He nodded, waiting for an answer.

  “I’d have to give you a two. You’re all right,” I teased.

  He laughed heartily. “Yet you admire. I must not be too shabby for those eyes.”

  I giggled as he circled his arms around my waist. “What about Penelope?” I asked as he inched in closer.

  The inching stopped abruptly as he stared into my eyes, his suddenly hard. “What about her?”

  “Are you going to keep talking to her?”

  He shrugged. “No.”

  My head tilted. “How do I know that?”

  “Because Penelope isn’t as much fun as you are. She talks too much, whines too much. She asks for everything.”

  “And you think I wouldn’t do the same?” I forced myself not to laugh at how aggravated his face had become.

  “I know you wouldn’t do the same. It may have only been a few days, but I can already see how you are.”

  “And how am I?” I urged. God, why was I being so demanding?

  Instead of answering right away, Gage placed a kiss on my cheek. I sparked on the inside, bubbling over. The bubbling swelled as he kissed the left corner of my mouth. His tongue traced its way across the line of my lips and mine parted, begging for a taste of him, but he pulled back. “You’re different—difficult to figure out sometimes, but different.”

  I could agree on that. Who wanted to be easy to figure out? I circled my arms around his neck, pulling him in closer, and his grip tightened around my waist. I was centered perfectly between his body and he towered over me, smiling so adorably that I couldn’t help but admire him.

  How could a man be so flawless, so gorgeous? If he had any imperfections, I couldn’t see them. All I could see was this perfect man with the perfect hair and the perfect kisses. The perfect touch, perfect tongue. Thinking of his tongue caused a shiver to crawl along my spine, and my legs stiffened, but I held on to him. He didn’t have the best personality, but at least he was done trying to get under my skin. All he wanted was my attention. I could give him that much.

  “Let’s make the next few weeks as fun as possible,” Gage said, placing a kiss on the bend of my neck.

  “How?” I breathed. It almost mixed with a moan. His lips on my neck always made me tingle. It was my spot—the perfect place to get me going.

  “There are a million ways… Most of them can be done with your body and mine… together” His voice rumbled near my ear, so deep, so husky, and I spiraled as he kissed the lobe. “I want my hands all over you. Your skin on mine.” His grip on my waist tightened even more and I yelped as he picked me up, and I circled my legs around his waist. He tasted the skin on my neck, licked, sucked, and licked
some more with deep groans. I was biting on my lower lip fiercely, getting completely flushed as one of his hands cupped my ass. He was so strong. It was as if I were a feather in his arms.

  Gage brought his lips to mine again and I devoured them greedily. That fast he’d turned me on. I was burning inside, craving something—anything to satisfy me. The most I had at the moment was his lips and his tongue, and his tongue worked wonders as it coaxed and stroked mine.

  His arousal caved into me and he grunted, lowering his head to place another feverish kiss on my neck. “I can do so much to you, Sweet Ellie,” he murmured, bringing his lips back up to touch my ear. “You just don’t know it yet.”

  Little did he know how bad I wanted him to go through with his words. I wanted him to do anything with my body. Flashbacks of his tongue circling around my core, driving me higher and higher to a climax, came to mind, and I whimpered, pressing my cheek against his. All of a sudden I felt defeated, especially as he whispered, “Not here, though, Eliza.” I would’ve given anything to feel that kind of pleasure again, but he was right. Not here. Not on a beach.

  “Are you all right?” He placed me on my feet with a chuckle and I nodded, my lips pressing.

  “I’m fine. Do you think we should go catch a little bit of that party?”

  He looked me over, making sure I was being serious. “You’re serious? You want to?”

  “I don’t mind.”

  “Penelope might be there, though… and you know how she can get whenever I’m around…”

  I cringed as her name came out of his mouth, but I shook it off. I couldn’t do much about her being around. Gage wasn’t my property. I didn’t own him. As far as I was concerned, we weren’t anything other than friends… with benefits. I wasn’t seeking much else and I sure as hell knew he wasn’t. I finally nodded my head with a shrug and he sighed, bringing a hand up to run it through his hair. He pulled out his cell phone, his eyes a bit harder than before as he said, “I’ll call Stan.”

  I wasn’t sure what was wrong. Maybe he was worried he’d run into Penelope. Maybe he just really didn’t want to go to that party. I was uncertain, so instead of making him feel guilty, I hooked my arm around his lean waist and smiled up at him, leading the way back to my art supplies. “It’ll be fun, like you said,” I assured him. “Nothing negative. I promise. And if she’s there, we’ll just leave.”

  He revealed a gentle, crooked smile, kissed my forehead, and I grinned as the sudden heat from his lips bombarded me with pleasure and contentment.

  And for the rest of that night, luck was on our side because Penelope was nowhere to be found.

  The next state was Kentucky. Being in Kentucky was different, not too sunny or too cloudy. The breezes were gentle, soothing. After the boys practiced beside the tour bus, it was time to head for the show. I couldn’t help but stare as Gage sang without a microphone as he practiced. Surprisingly, even from sitting on the steps of my bus, I could hear him. His voice was loud and mesmerizing. I really couldn’t figure out why I fell for his voice each and every time.

  It could have been because he sang with so much emotion that it gave him more depth. He had so much soul, so much heart. He looked vulnerable when singing, like he was cut open and all his emotions were put on display for the whole world to see.

  With my hand on my chin, my elbow on my lap, I found it hard to look away. I couldn’t help but study him. The way he tapped the outside of his thigh with his hand. The way he snapped his fingers with the rhythm whenever his eyes were open and he was smiling behind the words. Something was letting me know that behind his lyrics, there was meaning, and I wanted so badly to find out. Who hurt him? Who broke his heart? I never thought any girl could break Gage Grendel’s heart. He was too carefree and if anything, he was the one breaking hearts and messing with girl’s emotions. Most of their songs were upbeat, but the lyrics were so sad.

  As he sang, I saw the man with the peppery hair, suit, and clean face again—the one whose appearance always weirded me out. It was odd how he stared so intently at Deed as he played on the drums. I noticed how Deed would take nervous glances to his right at the man, and whenever Deed hit a certain beat, the man would nod, his fingers tucked into his pockets, and Deed’s chest would sink and rise with relief. The guy seriously freaked me out, and it was weird how I didn’t know who the hell he was, what he did, or what part of the crew he belonged to.

  “Liza!” Ben called, snapping me out of my daze. I looked to my left quickly, seeing Ben standing with his hand at his hip, his eyes narrowed. “Did you not hear me calling you?”

  “No… sorry. Are we ready to go?”

  “Yes. We have to be there in twenty.”

  I nodded, clutching my bottle of water and grabbing my satchel. After strapping my bag around me, I made the turn for the truck but got caught in a pair of firm, masculine arms before I could make the complete spin. “Hey, Ellie,” Gage murmured, his head tilting down to look at me.

  My pulse paused, realizing how close he was. I still had to get used to this—to Gage touching me whenever he wanted, not that I minded it. “Hey,” I breathed. “All ready for your show?”

  “A little bit.” He released me, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t think I’m completely ready yet, though.”

  My head tilted. “What do you mean? What’s wrong?”

  “Well… there’s just this thing I wanted before stepping on stage.”

  “And what might that be?”

  “A simple kiss on the cheek… from my Sweet Ellie.”

  I smirked at him, shaking my head and folding my arms. “You sure it isn’t anything else?”

  “Oh, trust me,” he sighed. “I’d love more from you, Ellie, but since we’re on a time crunch, a kiss on the cheek will do for now.” Gage bent his knees a little and turned his head, pointing at his cheek. “Go ahead. Lay it on me. It’s not asking for too much, is it?”

  I giggled because it wasn’t asking much at all. A kiss on the cheek would do, so I leaned forward and puckered my lips, ready to place them against his cheek, but then his head turned, right when I was close, and our lips collided. I gasped, smacking his shoulder playfully, and he laughed, reeling me in by the waist. “A kiss on the cheek? Yeah fucking right,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I think those lips on mine are what I need in order to have a great show.”

  Grinning, I stood on my toes and kissed him swiftly but tenderly. “There. Good luck tonight.”

  “Uh… no.” He pulled me in again, crushing my body against his. His arms were still circled around my waist and, tilting his head down, he leaned in and kissed me. The kiss was sweet, innocent, and simple at first, but then he added his tongue and I moaned into his mouth. My hand pressed against his chest to try and get him to release me and hurry before they ended up late, but it faltered and gave out on me as the intensity grew. I sank against him, and behind the kiss he smiled, pulling away slowly. “There,” he said in a mocking tone. “That may just last me until the show’s over.”

  I beamed at him and he unhooked his arms from my waist. “Good luck tonight,” I said again, watching as he took gradual steps away. I couldn’t look away from him. I wanted to kiss him again, and by the look in his hungry hazel irises, I knew he wanted it just as badly. He stopped walking quickly, his lips parting, eyes darting right down to my lips.

  “Just one more,” he murmured, rushing for me and reeling me in. Giggling, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. It wasn’t as long or as passion-filled as the previous one, but it made do.

  With that, Gage tossed a light wave at me, rushed for the bus to grab his guitar and strap it around him, and then hurried for the truck. Before he hopped in all the way, he looked over his shoulder, noticing me still watching him. He then winked and climbed into the truck completely, shutting the door behind him. Their vehicle peeled off the instant he was inside, and I sighed, still smiling—wait… Why was I still smiling? It was just a kiss. Nothing other than that. It
wasn’t like we hadn’t kissed before.

  “All right, mesmerized damsel,” Ben said, making me gasp. He hooked his arm around my shoulders and led the way toward the car. “I allowed you to have your little kiss, but we have to get going.”

  My cheeks burned as I looked up at him. “Oh, geez. You watched?”

  “How could I not? You were standing right in front of me.” He laughed a little and I smiled. “Just be careful with him, Liza,” he added.

  My head tilted a little, confused by the seriousness that just clouded his tone. “We aren’t anything other than friends with benefits, Ben.”

  “I understand that, but…” Ben trailed off as we neared the truck and he opened the door for me.

  “But what?” I asked as I climbed in, knowing he wasn’t going to finish his sentence.

  He looked me over, his brown eyes studying me cautiously. He then sighed, bringing his sunglasses up to place them over his eyes. “Nothing, Liza Bear. Just be careful, like I said. Have fun, but keep your heart to yourself while you’re hanging with him.”

  He shut the door before I could ask him anything, and I slid back on the leather bench, sort of baffled. What exactly did he mean by that? Keep my heart to myself? Why would I give it to Gage, knowing he was one person who could crumble it to pieces? Handing it over would have been tremendously dumb of me.

  Ben rounded the front of the car and hopped into the front seat. He told Marco we were all set and not once did he look back at me. It was as if he knew I had a million questions, but he didn’t want to answer them. It made me kind of suspicious, but I told myself to drop it and stick with the plan Gage and I had. Friends with benefits and nothing more.

  That was it.

  The fans of Kentucky were rowdier than the other cities, but the band seemed to love their hollering and enthusiasm. It allowed them to play louder and for Gage to sing louder. I sang along to a few of the songs I knew, and it surprised me that every so often, Gage would steal glances to his left at me and wink. Smooth heat would creep up from my neck to my cheeks and I would wink back.