The Scars That Define Us

by M. N. Forgy

  We walk up to the bouncer, who is wearing a black suit, his head shaved. He’s huge and looks like someone you would see playing professional football or wrestling.

  “Name?” the bouncer asks, looking at the crowd. He doesn’t even glance at the girls and me. He doesn’t have a clipboard or anything; he must have the guest list memorized.

  “Name is Cherry. I’m with Twistin Tyler,” she yells, the music blaring from the club doors making it hard to talk over.

  He looks away from the club and eyes us up.

  “You going to let us in or what?” Cherry sasses, placing her hand on her hip. The brawny bouncer moves to the side, opening a path to the doors, which lead into the thumping club.

  “Dick,” she says, passing him.

  “Yo, take over for me.” The bouncer yells at a guy wearing a matching black suit, he looks just as intimidating.

  Walking into the club, it’s crazy, like nothing I have ever seen before. There are balconies with sheer curtains for private parties and booths surrounding the walls with gold lamps sitting on the tables. The lighting is dim, except colors of gold from spotlights above swirling around the people on the dance floor. A large bar sits next to the DJ station at the far end of the club, and my eyes go wide at what’s sitting on the bar. It has a silver cage resting on top with a girl in a shiny, gold bikini dancing in it.

  We follow Cherry over to a booth next to the DJ station. “Hey, I’m going to go tell my brother I’m here real quick and then we’ll dance,” she says, skipping off. I slide into the center of the booth, making room for the girls.

  “Ha. I ain’t dancing, but I’ll drink,” Babs tells us, pointing toward the bar.

  “I’ll join you,” Molly says, leaving me at the booth by myself.

  I tap my fingers against the tabletop as I watch Molly and Babs order drinks when suddenly a tall, blue beverage is placed in my line of sight.

  “This is from Mr. Ross,” the girl states. She’s wearing a gold shiny dress, and her black wavy hair sways down her back.

  “Who?” I ask, confused.

  “Mr. Ross,” she answers, pointing to a booth across the way. I push myself up to look over the crowd and see a man wearing a white button down shirt wave slightly. He has dark hair and seems to be middle aged. I’ve never met him before.

  I look at the drink. Aren’t you suppose to reject drinks from strangers at a bar, or do I watch too many CSI shows?

  “Uh, no thanks,” I reply, pushing the drink away.

  The girl looks at me surprised then shrugs, taking the drink away.

  Molly and Babs come back to the booth with drinks in their hands, laughing about something.

  “So, I hear you went on a date with some rich guy,” Babs says, taking a small sip from her shot glass and shimmying back into the booth.

  “Yeah, I did. He was a gentleman. Well, at least I thought he was.” I give a weak smile. I still find it hard to believe Parker would treat a woman ill, but Shadow insisted he saw it with his own eyes.

  Babs laughs in hysteria. “I bet Shadow fucked that guy up.”

  “That boy must have had serious balls messing with a Devil’s property,” Molly says with a grin. I groan with frustration. Only the Devil himself knows what happened to Parker, and I’m not about to ask him.

  “Let’s dance; he’s playing my song next,” Cherry orders, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the booth. She drags me through sweaty bodies into a small opening on the dance floor. The club roars lyrics from ”Turn Down For What” by DJ Snake & Lil Jon, and Cherry starts throwing her arms up with the beat. She bends her knees and shakes her hips, dancing like nobody’s watching. I, on the other hand, just stand there, not sure what to do. I’ve never been to a club; my mother never allowed it.

  “Just let loose. Nobody is watching you!” Cherry yells above the music.

  I start to bob my head to the music, trying to follow her advice.

  Suddenly, Cherry grabs me by the hips and grinds herself onto my pelvis.

  “Like this,” she says, showing me how to move my body seductively.

  She grabs me around my neck, and her floral perfume suffocates me. Her body rolls against mine as if we were in a lovers’ embrace. I take her lead and start to twist my body against hers just like she showed me.

  “You got it,” she smirks.

  I smile back and grab her hips, feeling like I got the hang of things as I grind myself against her hip while she continues to dance.

  Feeling the confidence override my insecurities I let go of her and just let loose. I pump my hands in front of me as I shake my ass. The beat is so loud it vibrates through my chest and down my legs. I tangle my fingers into my hair and toss my head back and forth to the music.

  “Animals” by Martin Garraix instantly plays next, and I close my eyes and continue to dance. I feel free and sexy. This is exactly what I needed, to just get out and have fun with some girl companions. Hands grasp around my hips and slam me into a hard body, and I suddenly smell weed and alcohol. My body stiffens, and my eyes flare open. I pull away from the foreign body pressed firmly against my backside and spin around to see the guy from across the club, Mr. Ross.

  He slides his hands over my ass roughly and slams my body against his.

  “I don’t want to dance. Thanks.” I squirm, trying to pry myself from his grasp unsuccessfully.

  “I ordered you a drink, and you declined. That wasn’t very nice,” he states against my ear, his grip rough and unsought.

  “Fuck you and your drink,” I spit, pushing him away. I look around for Cherry frantically but don’t see her anywhere. I dive across the crowded dance floor, weaving through to make my way back to the booth,

  “You pussy! Take it!” Babs shouts at Molly, handing her a shot glass as I slide into the booth.

  Feeling a little paranoid, I stare out into the crowd looking for Mr. Ross.

  “Yuck, you’re all sweaty,” Molly says, poking my arm with a finger.

  “Yeah, I got a little carried away,” I apologize, trying to smile.

  “Hey, there you are! I got a great song coming up next,” Cherry tells me, grabbing my hand and pulling me from the booth. “Come on. You can rest when you’re dead!”

  Cherry notices my hesitation and stops to look at me. “You all right?”

  “There was this creepy guy out there. He gave me a weird vibe,” I admit, looking at the girls, wondering if I’m being ridiculous or not.

  “What guy? I’ll fuck him up,” Babs threatens.

  “You just have to be firm with them. Then they’ll leave you alone,” Cherry advises, tugging me forward. “It happens all the time,” she yells over her shoulder.

  I follow Cherry onto the dance floor—actually, I’m dragged. I look for Mr. Ross because something about him scares me. He doesn’t seem like some normal guy trying to get lucky, his dark eyes, and solemn tone make me uneasy.

  “No Hands” by Waka Flocka Flame starts to sing and Cherry starts to jump up and down with excitement. I look around me, unsure; I feel like he’s watching me.

  “You’re fine,” she says, slapping my shoulder. I suddenly feel silly; this happens all the time at clubs and men are a little too eager hitting on women. I need to let loose and have fun. I throw my hands up and start singing the lyrics as Cherry yells them back at me.

  Cherry starts shimmying her shoulders as another blonde girl walks up and starts dancing with her. I forget all about the creepy guy and start dancing and singing with them. I suddenly smell alcohol and weed strongly again; I smell Mr. Ross. I stop dancing and look around me, but all I see is a mass of sweaty people dancing. My body coats with a slick, cold sweat as my heart pounds with fear.

  “Looking for me?” a voice behind me whispers in my ear. My blood runs cold as my body stills. He digs his fingers into my arms so hard I feel like they’ll penetrate.

  “What do you want from me?” I ask, unsure if he even heard me from the loud music. My instinct to fight rises from my f
ear; I’m strong and will not allow myself to falter. I start looking for a weapon, my high heel the only thing coming to mind.

  The guy chuckles. “Just have a drink with me. Just one and—” He stops talking and the music instantly screeches to a halt.

  Cherry turns toward me and her face goes pale as if she’s seen a ghost. I hear a girl scream off in the distance as the crowd begins to shuffle. I slowly turn and see what Cherry is staring at, why the music has stopped, and why everyone has the look of fear written on their faces. A group of rugged bikers push their way through the crowd—The Devil’s Dust, to be exact—and Shadow’s leading them. His jaw is clenched, his face red with anger.

  Shadow points at Mr. Ross as he strides forward. The asshole puts his hands up in surrender and opens his mouth to speak, but before he can get a word out, Shadow grabs him by the shirt and throws him on his back. Mr. Ross lands on the dirty dance floor with a loud thud, and everyone gasps and even more people start rushing out of the club.

  “I hear you put your hands where they don’t belong!” Shadow growls.

  He straddles Mr. Ross and drives his fist right into his mouth, making blood spurt when his hands makes contact. Shadow leans up and slams his boot into the guy’s ribs, making Mr. Ross yell in pain.

  Bobby walks forward and pulls on Shadow’s shoulder, grabbing him from the dark place he’s fallen to and back to reality. I can’t help but notice Bobby has a split lip as he’s pulling Shadow off the guy. What the hell happened to Bobby?

  Shadow huffs and rubs the back of his neck, trying to regain his composure before looking at me. His eyebrows furrow, giving that little line he always gets when I’m angering him.

  He steps over Mr. Ross who’s laying on the ground in pain, grabbing me by the arm with one hand and the waist with the other, throwing me over his shoulders. As I’m jostled upward, I feel a heel slide off my foot.

  “Have you lost your mind?” I yell at Shadow. This is the most humiliating thing I have ever been through.

  Shadow finally sets me down as soon as we are outside the club, his bike parked right next to the door along with everyone else’s.

  “Get your ass on the bike, Dani,” he demands, handing me a helmet.

  “I am not getting on that with you,” I hiss, pissed at him.

  “Dani!” Cherry yells, coming out of the club doors, my black heel in hand.

  “Thanks,” I say, grabbing the heel from her, my face turning red with humiliation.

  “Why aren’t you wearing your fucking property patch?” Shadow asks me as he looks at Cherry, her property patch hard to miss.

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I snap. He can’t be serious. I haven’t worn that property patch since I caught him with another girl.

  Shadow huffs at my response. “Get on the bike, or I’ll put you on the fucking bike.”

  I know he will, and I’ve had enough embarrassment for the night. I place my heel on my foot and snatch the helmet from him.

  “How am I supposed to ride in this damn dress?” I throw my hands out, gesturing toward my outfit.

  “Get. The. Fuck. On,” Shadow grits as he starts his bike.

  I growl in anger, slam the helmet on my head and get on the damn bike.

  The ride back to the house is quick and angry.

  As soon as we are in the apartment, I lean down, pull my left high heel off my foot, and throw it at Shadow. Missing him entirely, the shoe slams against the wall right behind him as he looks at me surprised. “Are you seriously throwing fucking shoes at me?”

  I reach down, pull off my right heel, and throw it at him, too. It bounces off his leg before falling to the floor. “I have never been so humiliated in my life!” I scream, walking toward the bedroom.

  “But getting groped by a douchbag isn’t?” he yells, following me down the hall.

  I scowl at him. “I can handle myself.”

  I admit I was freaking out when the Ross guy grabbed me. My only thought was to stab him in the eye with my high heel, but I could have handled him if things escalated.

  “Yeah, clearly. If that were the truth, the bouncer wouldn’t have called your father,” Shadow says.

  I whip around in shock.

  “The fucking bouncer? Is there anyone in this town who doesn’t kiss the club’s ass?” Of course, Cherry wearing her property patch was a dead giveaway. I guess with Cherry wearing her cut and I being there with her, the bouncer didn’t want to leave anything to chance so he called my dad.

  Shadow laughs. “Not really.”

  I start reaching for the zipper in the back of my dress, but I can’t unzip it to save my life.

  “Let me,” Shadow offers, walking behind me and grasping the zipper.

  I turn and face the mirror in front of me, my eyes staring at his in the reflection.

  He slowly pulls the zipper down to the mounds of my ass cheeks, his fingers tickling my spine and his eyes never leaving mine. I slightly twist my body, letting the dress fall to the floor, pooling around my feet. My black strapless bra and panties are the only thing I’m wearing. Shadow’s eyes leave mine, overlooking my body’s reflection in the mirror. His eyes become hooded with desire and he inhales sharply. My lips part in anticipation, hoping he’ll touch me more. He slides one of his calloused fingers down my spine, the simple touch making me mew. After the abandonment of our relationship, the reconnection makes my body vibrate with want.

  Shadow thrusts the front of his body against my back and wraps his hand around the front of me, grabbing my neck, he gently pulls my head up to look at our reflection in the mirror.

  “Mine,” he whispers in my ear, his hot, sticky breath not making me any less horny. He bites my neck, his teeth scraping the sensitive flesh while a moan escapes my lips as my eyes catch his. Throttling my senses, I arch my back into him, wanting more. His hard gaze softens before he squeezes his eyes shut like he’s in pain. He pulls away, leaving me panting for more. Then he looks me over one last time before he leaves me in a frenzy of emotions. I don’t get it; he says I’m his, but he won’t treat me as his. Not like he used to, anyway. I look at the mirror and see my cheeks flushed and lips swollen with anticipation. I look a hot mess.

  ***

  I sleep well past morning and into the afternoon. Following a long shower, I look through the closet, searching for something provocative but not obvious. Shadow wanted to go further last night, but something stopped him. I gulp the thought down and start flinging through my clothes. I grab a black, silk nightie, which goes to my thighs, and choose not to wear panties. Okay, so maybe it’s a little obvious, but I need answers. Now that everything is out in the air, I want to move forward.

  I look in the mirror on the back of the dresser and tousle my long, dark hair. I pinch my cheeks for color and walk out of the bedroom in search of Shadow. He’s sitting on the couch with his legs propped on the coffee table. I smell food and notice a bucket of chicken on the counter.

  I grab a plate and pretend to accidently drop it, the plate clattering to the floor and catching his attention. I position myself to where my ass is facing Shadow and slowly bend down to pick it up, my silk nightie rising in the process, letting my bare ass peek from underneath.

  I hear Shadow rise from the couch and before I stand straight, his hands grip my hips harshly. He pulls my ass hard against his groin and moves my hair to the side of my neck to rest on my shoulder.

  “I know what you’re doing,” he growls in my ear. His hand slides slowly underneath my nightie and skids its way across my hip and down over the apex of my thighs, making my head fall back with pleasure.

  “What do you mean?” I whisper, my breathing becoming fitful.

  “You know exactly what I mean. You have been baiting me for days,” he replies, pushing his hard length against my rear, the feeling divine.

  “I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie on a whisper, hoping he moves his hand a little lower.

  “Right,” Shadow says sarc
astically, letting me go.

  Our eyes hold for a moment as he releases a steady breath.

  “I got a call to make a run tonight. I don’t know when I’ll be back.” He grabs a chicken leg from the bucket and tears into it. Then he looks me up and down like he’s programming me to memory before walking to the door and leaving.

  “Damn it,” I mutter.

  Dani

  After having to relieve myself last night from the sexual torture between Shadow and me, I finally fell asleep. Waking up today, I realize it’s the Fourth of July. I am anxious to get out of the house, so I call Tom to come pick me up and take me to the party the club is throwing.

  I grab my black-leather bikini, hoping I will see Shadow. I know this is his favorite bikini, and I’m hoping it will be the last straw in his abstinence.

  After arriving at the beach and changing, I walk out onto the hot sand and immediately spot my dad. His presence isn’t as endearing knowing he might have had violent orders to ensure my silence of the club’s activity. The fact that he might have sent Shadow is the worst.

  “Dani, Darlin’,” my dad coos as he walks my way. He throws his burly arm around my shoulders and gives me a big hug, the smell of booze stronger than his aftershave.

  He suddenly pulls back and eyes my bikini. “You can’t wear that,” he declares, pointing at me.

  “What?” I look down at myself.

  “Go change,” he says seriously, pointing toward the bathrooms across the beach.

  “Oh, leave the girl alone,” Babs tells him, walking up behind my dad.

  “Do you see the shit she’s wearing, or not wearing for that matter?” he points out, his tone sounding frustrated.

  “She looks fine, Bull. It’s a beach party,” she replies, placing her hands on hips.

  My dad sighs in defeat and walks off, shaking his head in dismay.

  “How ya doing, Doll?” Babs says, smacking her gum.

  “I’m all right,” I smile.

  “That’s good. You better get used to your dad trying to make you wear a paper bag,” she laughs. “Enjoy yourself, ya hear?” she yells over her shoulder as she walks over to the table full of food.