Lumen Cove

by Dianne Frost

  “I don’t want you to get hurt,” he said finally and she looked at him as if he were monumentally stupid. He winced. “More hurt than you already are. Kelsey, I’m sorry.”

  She scoffed, shaking her head as she crossed her arms over her chest tightly as if to hold herself together. She bit her bottom lip hard, staring at the black TV screen as if it held some sort of answers for her. She took a deep breath.

  “There’s nothing I can say is there?” She asked, her voice low and barely controlled. Her eyes met his and he wanted so badly to reach for her and take her in his arms but he couldn’t, not after everything he’d just said. He couldn’t walk that back now. It would only make it harder. He shook his head. Her jaw tightened and her eyes narrowed, surveying him for a moment. “What if I said…” she paused, her mouth open but no words came out. She worked her jaw back and forth and he swallowed hard. “What if…” She cut herself off again and shook her head, letting out a humorless laugh as she looked away again. “Never mind…”

  She turned from him, her chest feeling as if it were caving in. As much as she wanted to tell him she couldn’t, the danger of him refusing her still was too much for her to handle. She knew Alex. Probably better than he realized so she knew when he made a decision there wasn’t any unmaking it. She looked around the space blearily and it was as if she’d never seen it before even though she had cooked dinner at that stove, studied in that chair, made love to him in that bed. She didn’t belong here anymore. He’d decided that and she wasn’t about to try and force him to think otherwise. If he didn’t want her anymore she would just leave.

  “Kels.”

  She felt his hand wrap around her bicep and she turned abruptly ripping it out of his grasp. He took a step back showing her his palms, his blue eyes cautious as if she were some kind of wounded animal. God, the pain was disorienting. Had she ever hurt like this? Even after Gram? She shook her head, taking a shuddery breath as she grabbed her hat and coat from the back of the barstool and made for the door.

  “Are you gonna be okay?” He asked and she stopped, her shoulders tensing in a cringe and he stepped towards her. “Kelsey.”

  “I’ll be fine,” she said stoically in a voice that wasn’t her own, she turned to him and gave him a smile that made his chest ache. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Okay but don’t…” He ventured, following her into the tiny laundry room, and she stopped to look at him. He winced. “Don’t… not come to class okay?” She blinked at him, letting out a quick bark of a laugh that she smothered with her hand. “Kelsey it’s important. There’s only a week or so left I can’t pass you if-“

  “I’ll be in class, Mr. Danvers,” Kelsey replied bitingly and he felt as if she had just punched him in the gut, his breath leaving his lungs in a huff. She shook her head at him, snorting as she reached for the door.

  Alex wanted to stop her. Everything in his body was screaming for him to stop her but instead he watched her slip quietly out and close the door behind her with a snap, not even looking back.

  Chapter Twenty

  The Firefly Bed and Breakfast, formerly the Bell family mansion, stood in all its southern splendor on the corner of First and Confederate Streets, taking nearly an entire city block for its house, stables and grounds. It had hosted the Daughters of the New South Winter Cotillion for over forty years. Nearly every woman in Lambency had descended the Firefly’s grand staircase on her daddy’s arm, determined to float with the grace and beauty only a true southern lady could possess or in the very least not tumble down like a sack of rotten potatoes.

  “How do we get stuck doing this every year?” Fitz asked, tugged at the collar of his dress shirt and setting his bow tie askew.

  “No idea,” Alex muttered, his eyes scanning the room dully, worrying the cufflink at his left wrist, the silver eagle, globe and anchor of the USMC logo winking in the candle light.

  “Aw I think it’s fun,” Hilary said, smiling widely as an elderly lady approached their table, handing her a glass of punch and as she turned away, Hilary was already filling another, setting it in the now empty space in the row.

  “Why do we always get put on punch bowl duty?” Fitz asked looking longingly towards the bar where several younger women and men were gathered enjoying cocktails before the evening festivities began.

  “Because Hilary is the only person who has ever prevented the punch from being spiked,” Alex replied, failing to notice that Hilary and Fitz had looked at him with interest.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” Hilary asked and Alex gritted his teeth as Fitz clapped his hands and grunted as he pumped his fist in triumph.

  “Told you she couldn’t get through an evening without asking you if you were okay.”

  Alex sighed heavily, reaching into the breast pocket of his tuxedo jacket and pulled out his wallet, grabbing a ten dollar bill and reached past Hilary to hand it to Fitz. Hilary’s forehead creased as she watched the exchange and turned her back on Fitz to speak softly to Alex.

  “Look I get that you’re not that kumbaya, talk about your feelings type, but you just seem like you’re having a really hard time,” she said softly and Alex didn’t look at her, just scowled out at the sea of people milling around the dance floor.

  “End of the semester is always hard, Hilary,” he said flatly not looking at her.

  “I know,” she said with a sigh and then touched his arm making him jump, “Hey how did Kelsey Charming do on her final?”

  Alex snatched his arm away from her as if her touch had burned him, bristling hard and refusing to look at her. “Fine,” he said with finality and then he blinked, glancing at her. “Why? Did she say something?”

  “Just the same. That she did fine,” Hilary said, her brows creasing. “I’m a little worried about her.”

  Alex pressed his lips together shifting from foot to foot. He waited for her to go on and when she didn’t he sighed. “Why?” He asked unable to stop himself.

  “She seems down,” Hilary said, reaching for the punch ladle and stirring idly. “It’s going to be her first Christmas without Eleanor. Elliot Braum assured me that they were all on-” Hilary snorted as she laughed and made air quotes. “‘Kelsey Duty’ for the entirety of Christmas break. He’s been glued to her since she got hurt.”

  “She started letting him carrying her books for her,” Fitz added, tugging at his collar again and Hilary’s head whipped to him.

  “No,” she said as if scandalized. “Really?” Fitz nodded and Hilary let out a high-pitched giggle that made Alex wince. “Well, we might just see the Braum-Charming love story unfold after all.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” Alex snorted and Hilary looked at him confused. He cut his eyes at her and shifted on his feet. “So he’s carrying her books so what? You said she was…” Alex grit his teeth. “I’m just saying he could just be being nice.”

  “Yeah, but she took him up on it,” Fitz said giving him a knowing look and Hilary nodded.

  “He always offered. She never let him.”

  “And now she’s letting him,” Fitz said with a nod.

  Alex’s face screwed up in annoyance. “You two are fucking insane you know that? Why do you even-“ he cut himself off with a soft growl at shook his head. “Never mind. Just… sorry… “

  “Alex,” Hilary said softly, leaning in to him and he had to fight the urge to rip his arm away as she touched it. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  Alex hummed, a disgruntled sound and summoned all his patience. “Yes, Hilary thank you for your concern,” he said looking at her and holding her gaze, watching her eyes go a little glassy and he knew this wasn’t exactly fair but he couldn’t handle her fussing at him all evening. “I’m perfectly fine.”

  She blinked. “You just seem…” She trailed and he sighed, raising his eyebrows at her in anticipation of her explanation. “Sad.”

  Alex snorted, shaking his head as he looked back at out into the room, catching sight of Miss Gwaultney as she seemed
to glide up to the podium.

  “Good evening ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of the Daughters of the New South I would like to welcome you to the 192nd Lambency Winter Cotillion. Oh this brings back so many memories…”

  Fitz leaned towards Hilary and Alex, “Is it just me or does she give the same speech every year?” He muttered out the side of his mouth. Hilary hit him with the back of her hand.

  As Miss Gwualtney went on in her introduction and Hilary and Fitz argued over the content of the speech Alex noticed a small figure hurrying along the edge of the room. Mrs. Stimetz spotted them and made a beeline for their table, adjusting her headset so that her mouth piece was under her chin.

  “Oh my God it’s a zoo up there,” she muttered, grabbing a glass of punch and throwing it back. She grimaced. “Ugh has no one spiked this yet?”

  Fitz let out a bark of a laugh, startling those nearest them and nearly sent the first girl that was descending the stairs tumbling down them in surprise but her father held on tight as if fully prepared for this exact thing to happen and she remained upright, a fluffy white cotton ball floating down the stairs. Alex swallowed, wondering how many more would have to descend before he saw Kelsey. A feeling of anticipation mixed with dread rolled around in his stomach. He refused to admit that he missed her, simply attributed his moodiness and short temper to the fact that they were no longer spending time together. Semantics. He reached up to rub the back of his neck.

  “You would not believe some of these girls,” Mrs. Stimetz said grabbing a few more cups of punch. “Ashley Immins is about to hyperventilate because one of her gloves is half a centimeter shorter than the other, Brittany Evans dress ripped when she bent over so her mother is back there literally sewing the ass of it back together and Kelsey Charming’s dad is MIA.”

  Alex nearly gave himself a crick in his neck as he turned to look at her. “What?”

  “Yeah, Dad of the year that Sully Charming,” Mrs. Stiemetz replied rolling her eyes. “I better get back up there, ugh.”

  Alex watched her scurry away and he could feel the anger pulsing in his temples as he remembered the way Kelsey had danced around his condo over helping Sully pick out a tux, finally letting herself believe that her father was going to pull through for her. He felt an uncomfortable tightness in his chest, imagining her upstairs, by herself. He could picture her perfectly in her white dress, her long dark hair pulled back in a ballerina bun with her arms crossed demurely in front of her and her chin jutted out defiantly.

  “I gotta-”

  “Yeah yeah,” Hilary said, grinning at him and he stopped to frown at her. “Your project student needs saving. Mr. Danvers to the rescue.” She snorted as she giggled. “I’m super impressed, Alex, seriously. You totally stepped up to the plate with her. She told me she passed your class with a B no less.” Hilary was practically beaming as she touched his arm and lifted herself onto tip toes. His eyebrows raised as she pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Great job.”

  He gave her a dubious look, reaching to rub at his cheek as he stepped around her to follow the path that Mrs. Stiemetz had traveled towards the back hall. He wondered how proud Hilary would have been if she’d known the truth about he and Kelsey. Just as it had done for the past week, their time together passed through his mind in flashes of skin and sex and her smile, the one that lit up her entire face, the one that seemed to be reserved only for him.

  He shook his head, his focus turning to the task at hand. He could hear the chatter of fifty or so teenage girls as he climbed the back stair case. It was a sea of white silk and chiffon puffed up with enough organza and crinoline that each girl was standing side by side even when they weren’t that close to each other. Alex craned his neck and somehow found her instantly, the last of five or so girls who were queued to begin their descent down the grand stair case, each with their arm looped through what could have been identical men in tuxedos with salt and pepper hair. All except Kelsey.

  Alex managed to wade through the sea of fabric and bodies until he was behind her, seeing the tense line of her shoulders, her neck impossibly long half hidden by a low chignon of curls instead of his imagined bun. He wanted to press his lips to the nape of her neck as he’d done so many times before. How he had taken it for granted, the little stolen intimacies between them. He shook his head, reaching for her arm.

  Kelsey whirled around, her heart hammering in her chest and she was half expecting to see Sully, disheveled and drunk, his tux ruined but here none the less. A strange twinge of disappointment and surprise swirled in her chest when her eyes crashed into Alex’s stormy blue gaze. She immediately dropped her eyes, crushing one hand in the other in front of her. She’d managed to avoid looking at him for the most part over the last week, letting Reva do all the talking in class and letting Elliot have her full attention whenever they were between classes. She could always count on Elliot to stay engaged in whatever they were talking about so she didn’t let her mind or eyes wander. But Elliot was downstairs waiting for her to be presented to him so he couldn’t save her from this.

  “Wh-what are you doing here,” Kelsey grumbled, her voice low as she turned to face the front again. Only four girls ahead of her now. Sully had maybe three minutes before she had to go this alone.

  “I heard Sully didn’t show,” Alex said, shuffling forward along with Kelsey and she gritted her teeth, her chin jutting forward.

  “Yeah… well…” She paused, swallowing hard and he knew she was rallying her voice. “It’s not the first time.” She scoffed and then wiggled her shoulders as if trying to shake it off before she gritted her teeth and stomped her foot lightly. “I should have known…” She growled, reaching a hand up to press her fingers to her forehead.

  “It’s okay I’ll do it,” Alex said as they shuffled forward again, only three girls in front of them now.

  “What?” Kelsey asked, looking at him bewildered and when he offered his arm she looked down at it dumbly. “No… no…” She shook her head, her curls bouncing.

  “Look this is all my fault please let me do this,” he said and she looked at him then, her eyes narrowing and he swallowed, remembering that he hadn’t told her about the deal he’d made with Sully.

  “How is this your-?”

  “Kelsey where’s your dad?”

  A short sophomore with a headset over his pageboy haircut and a self-important clipboard strode up as another girl and her father started down the stairs, only two before them now. Kelsey looked around helplessly, trying to see over the heads of the other girls. She caught Reva’s eye and she gave her a concerned look. Kelsey merely smiled trying to ignore the way Ezio was fussing at her about her sari. Sully hadn’t even seen her dress.

  “I’ll be escorting Miss Charming,” Alex said before she could react and the sophomore raised his eyebrows.

  “Al-Mr. Danvers no,” Kelsey said lowly as the next father daughter pair stepped out into the spotlight at the top of the stairs and began their way down.

  “Tell Miss Gwaultney now,” Alex said and Kelsey scoffed as the poor kid just nodded at him dully.

  “What’s your middle name?” he inquired and Alex merely blinked at him.

  “No middle names. ‘Kelsey Charming escorted by Alex Danvers.’ That’s it.”

  “O-okay,” he said, turning away looking dazed as he spoke quietly into his head piece.

  The pair in front of them stepped into the light and they shuffled their way to the edge of the shadow, Kelsey’s heart hammering hard against her chest as Alex guided her arm through his. She could smell the light clean scent of him, something that used to intoxicate her but now made her feel impossibly hollow and that familiar ache found its way into her chest.

  “You don’t have to do this,” Kelsey muttered out of the side of her mouth as the pair before them reached the corner landing. It was nearly time.

  “I know.” She looked at his profile, the perfect line of his jaw, his long lashes standing starkly in silhouette. She look
ed down at her arm through his, seeing the small silver marine emblems on his cufflinks. She touched them lightly and he looked down at her.

  “I lost my regular ones,” he muttered. She felt a smile tug at her lips and she had to bite the insides of her cheeks to keep it at bay. When she peeked up at him she could see he was fighting a smile as well. Why did that hurt her so badly?

  The sophomore motioned for them to go and Alex led them out into the light, standing tall and straight, his head only slightly inclined towards Kelsey to keep her steady. She had begun to tremble and he could feel the anxiety radiating off of her as they took the first few steps down. He covered her hand that rested at the crook of his elbow with his own and he felt her gasp more than heard it. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments and it was as if they were floating, just the two of them, suspended in a dream where nothing could hurt them, not even each other. It was only a split second, their eyes tearing away from each other to concentrate on the steps in front of them as Miss Gwaultney’s voice came back full force.

  “…sey Charming, granddaughter of Eleanor Charming, daughter of Sullivan Charming, escorted by Alex Danvers.”

  Kelsey gritted her teeth and she heard Alex snort lightly. “Nice of you to give him some credit.”

  Kelsey fought a smile. “I was afraid he’d cause a scene right about here,” she said through a beaming smile as the cameras flashed at them, professional and amateur alike as they paused at the landing. “If I hadn’t acknowledged his donation of DNA.”

  Alex laughed then, something that caught both of them off guard so that they both looked at each other and neither could contain their grins. A series of flashes startled them out of their moment and each looked down, watching their feet as they descended the last set of stairs and were finally on solid ground.