by Fiona Palmer
On this particular night in May, dinner was finished, the dishes done, and Father brought in the battery from the Chev 4 ute to run the radio so the family could listen to the news, as was their custom. They gathered around the table in their usual spots while Rocco and Giulio returned to their room.
The prime minister’s voice came on. ‘Fellow citizens,’ he said. ‘The war is over.’
‘Oh my lord,’ said Phyllis, her hand flying to her mouth.
Maggie was elated, but only for a moment. Would this mean Rocco would be leaving? She turned to Charlie.
‘It’s over,’ he said, grinning. ‘Can you believe it?’
‘Shhh,’ said John, straining to hear the report.
Maggie got up quietly and headed outside. No one seemed to notice her departure but once outside she ran to Rocco’s room.
He was sitting on the steps in the dark with his small knife and some wood. He dropped both when he saw her running towards him.
‘Maggie, what is it?’
Giulio was just inside the door smoking and quickly stood up. Maggie ran straight into Rocco’s arms, not even caring if her mother had followed. She was breathing so hard and was so distraught that she couldn’t speak. But with Rocco’s warm body against hers and his gentle stroking of her hair, she calmed.
‘The war is over,’ she said. ‘It’s over.’
‘Madonna!’
Maggie had heard Giulio and Rocco’s Italian swear words and she felt like uttering a few of her own.
Then Rocco hugged her tightly and she knew then that he’d realised the same thing she had. How much longer did they have together?
‘I have to get back,’ she said, not wanting to move.
Rocco took her face in his hands and kissed her firmly on her lips before letting her go. Maggie walked back to the cottage in a daze and sat on a chair outside the door. She couldn’t go back in, not with Rocco’s kiss lingering on her lips. Her first real kiss. It had been only quick but it carried so much. Arthur had kissed her once when she was only fourteen, just to see what it was like. Maggie hadn’t liked it one bit and had made sure it never happened again. But she craved more of Rocco’s kisses already.
‘Maggie, did you tell the boys?’ said Charlie as he came out the door.
She nodded.
‘That should make them happy.’ He sat down on the ground, leaning his back against the wooden slat wall. ‘Are you thinking about Thomas and George?’ he asked.
Maggie felt a bit uncomfortable, realising she was thinking only of herself. But nonetheless she nodded. ‘I don’t think we’ll see Thomas. I fear he is lost with George, but I know Mother still holds out hope.’
‘I agree, little sister. I can’t help but hope she is right though.’
Their father came out. ‘Here you all are.’ He leant back against the wall and lit his rollie. ‘They’re just repeating the same newscast. Can you believe it?’
Maggie felt a knot grow in her throat over the question she most wanted to ask. Charlie ended up beating her to the punch.
‘What does this mean for Giulio and Rocco, Father?’
John puffed out smoke with his sigh. ‘I’m not sure, mate. No doubt Mr Tweedie will get into contact with us and let us know the situation. I guess they’ll have to go back to camp for processing before they can board a ship home.’
A barrel of rocks made a home in her belly. She didn’t want Rocco to go.
‘Could they stay on, Father? The house isn’t finished yet,’ she said, hoping her concern for Rocco and herself was covered by worry for the house.
John chuckled. ‘You sound just like your mother. I don’t think they can stay. It doesn’t work like that, darling. It would be nice if they could. I’m quite fond of those blokes. Hard workers. I might go have a word with them.’
As her father walked off, Maggie pondered the time she had left with the Italian prisoner who had captured her heart.
17
FLICK and Toni arrived back home from their trip to Narrogin and it seemed as if Fella had never left his post. Flick got out and stretched while he danced around her feet.
‘At least someone missed me,’ she said, giving him a pat.
‘Can you take my bags in and I’ll drop the motor off down the shed?’ said Toni.
‘Yeah, no worries.’ As always, a trip to town was usually filled with lots of jobs to do like motors to fix and parts to collect. They had to make the most of their three-hour round trip.
Flick lugged their stuff inside and dumped it on the kitchen table to sort out.
‘Good grief, what’s all that?’ said Maggie, who was stirring a stew in the crock-pot.
Flick laughed and pulled out a new backpack from a plastic bag. ‘Well, this, this is for Italy. And this —’ she pulled out a new pair of shorts ‘— is for Italy, and so are these walking shoes. And also these tops and a new little bag for our passports.’ Flick kept pulling things out, realising how well she’d done at the shops.
‘I thought you were going to travel light,’ said Maggie.
Flick grinned. ‘We are! I even got Mum to buy some cute dresses and nice walking shoes. We actually had a bit of a girly day. Haven’t done that for years.’
Maggie held up one of the dresses. ‘I’m glad. You both need that every now and then.’
Flick dropped her shoulders. ‘But I wish you would come with us.’ When she’d told Maggie about the trip, she’d seemed excited for them but had refused to go, saying she wanted to stay and help Jimmy with the farm. Flick knew it was also because things were strained between her and Toni, and had let it go, realising she couldn’t change her nan’s mind.
‘Is it all booked? How long did you decide to go for?’ asked Maggie.
‘Yes, it’s all sorted. We leave on the twentieth and go for eight days. We can’t really afford to go longer with harvest approaching but we really want to find Rocco, so Mum said we could do another trip next year if we need to, and bring you with us.’
Maggie raised an eyebrow. ‘Really, Toni said that?’
Flick smiled. ‘Well, that’s what she was implying, I’m sure. Look, Nan, even if we don’t find Rocco, we might find relatives for Mum. Wouldn’t it be great to have that connection, and travel to Italy to meet them?’
‘Rocco’s sister might still be alive,’ said Maggie quietly.
‘Exactly. So we’ll head over and see what we can find. We still might get a few days of sightseeing in, so it’s a win-win situation. It’ll do Mum good to have a break before harvest anyway.’ Flick reached into her bag and pulled out all their forms. ‘We’ve booked four days in Montone as our base. The travel agent recommended it.’
Flick ran her finger over the picture on the paper. It looked like a castle on a hilltop, much like Hogwarts from the trailer she’d seen for the new Harry Potter movie out next year. It seemed like such a fairytale.
‘Casa Valdeste is a beautiful late fourteenth-century terrace-style cottage in the medieval village of Montone,’ she read out. The words ‘medieval’ and ‘fourteenth century’ weren’t exactly mentioned much in Australia.
‘We have a two-bedroom villa here in Montone, which is in Umbria, and it’s owned by Aussies.’
‘Oh, it looks stunning,’ said Maggie.
‘If we find Rocco easily, we can head off and explore some more of Italy. I really hope we can track him down, Nan. For you and for Mum.’
Maggie folded up the dress she’d been looking at and put it in the bag gently. ‘Now, Felicity, don’t get your hopes up. Just go and have a great time with Toni. We’ll all survive if you come back empty-handed.’
Flick hugged her. No one gave hugs like her nan. ‘Okay, Nan. I’ll try. I love you.’
Maggie cleared her throat. ‘I had two calls from Chad again this morning. Anything you want to tell me?’
All her excitement over the trip disappeared in a second. Flick slumped into a chair. ‘That obvious, is it?’
‘I had a feeling things weren’t
going along so great. You had a fight?’
‘Something like that, Nan,’ she said with a sigh.
‘He rang yesterday too. Does he need forgiving?’
‘I don’t know if I can. But it’s just not what he did, it’s everything leading up to it. I’ve been down this road too many times before and I think it’s time I looked out for me. Is that too selfish? Should I give Chad another chance?’
‘Oh, love. Matters of the heart are never easy. As much as we want to, sometimes we can’t change people.’ Maggie gave her a smile. ‘What do you feel? What are your instincts telling you?’
‘That I don’t want to be in a relationship with him any more. I haven’t really felt like we’ve been in one lately anyway.’
‘Well, if you want my two cents, I think you’ve done the right thing. You’re still young and you’re beautiful and I think you deserve the very best.’
‘Aw, thanks, Nan.’
Maggie went to the stove, gave the bubbling pot a stir, then switched on the kettle before coming back to sit beside Flick. ‘Must be time for a cup of tea, with all this serious talk,’ she said with a grin.
‘I know. Please don’t say anything to Mum. I don’t want to worry anyone.’
‘I doubt Toni would stay in my presence long enough to let me get the words out.’
Flick reached for her hand. ‘She’ll come around. Mum needs time. This trip will help.’ Well, that was her plan. As long as it didn’t backfire and cause even more of a rift. ‘Hey, Nan, Rocco’s papers said he left Australia in 1946. That’s a whole year after the war finished, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, that’s right.’ A melancholy expression washed over Maggie. ‘When we heard the war was over, we were elated, but I was devastated at the same time. My heart just ached.’
Flick jumped up and made them both a cuppa while Maggie sat with her hands clasped.
‘By this stage I was already in love with him. He’d been with us a year and we were at a point where we knew something special was going on between us but neither of us had said anything about it.’
‘What do you mean? You didn’t talk about it?’
Maggie was staring out the window, no doubt picturing Rocco, young and handsome. ‘Well, now days you kids call it going out or having a boyfriend, but back then we didn’t – we just felt it in our hearts. I knew he cared for me in his gestures, the gifts he gave me or the way he held my hand. We were also too scared to talk about how we felt, knowing that it had to be kept quiet. My mother lurked, watching me, and I was afraid to tell Rocco how much I loved him in case the wind carried it to her.’ She glanced up at Flick, who passed her a cup of tea. ‘You probably think it was silly but back then times were so different. If it had got out that I was in love with a prisoner of war, well, the scandal would have killed my mother. She would either have sent me away or sent Rocco away and I couldn’t do that to him or Giulio. I knew they loved it on the farm, where they felt free and not stuck in the camps. They’d had it really bad in the Indian camps before they reached Australia.’
‘Did you eventually tell him how much you loved him?’
‘Oh, yes.’ Maggie took a sip of her tea as Toni came into the kitchen.
‘Kettle’s hot,’ said Flick. Toni nodded and made a cup while Maggie continued, her voice quieter
‘We had a special spot, hidden in the bush by the new house he was building. It was away from all the tracks so I knew mother wouldn’t ever see us. We would meet there sometimes when she’d gone to town, or we’d leave things for each other. Once he left me a bunch of wildflowers and a wooden heart he’d carved. I still have that little heart.’ Maggie scrunched up her face as if wondering why she’d kept it for so long.
Flick knew why. Her nan couldn’t forget her first love.
Toni was pottering about, pretending she wasn’t listening.
‘I guess in my heart I thought I’d run away with him when he came back. But when he never wrote to me . . . eventually I let him go and moved on with Arthur. I grew to love him very much,’ said Maggie. ‘I don’t want you to think I settled for second best with your grandfather. He was sweet, gentle and caring. He was one of a kind and I don’t regret one moment with Arthur and the life we made on Sunnyvale.’
Flick watched her. ‘Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if Rocco had come back for you, Nan?’
‘I used to. The first few years were very hard but I pushed on. I had Toni and she kept me going. I did care for Arthur, so it didn’t take long before it grew into love. He was a wonderful father and a tentative husband in those early years and he’d always loved me.’
‘Would you have left with Rocco if he had turned up?’
Maggie sighed. ‘I don’t know, love. That is something I guess we’ll never know. And it doesn’t really matter any more. The past is the past.’ Maggie leant across the table towards Flick. ‘I know you’re picturing some great romantic meeting of lost loves but, Flick, so much has passed. I’m old now. Even if he’s alive he could be happily married.’
‘But what if he’s not? What if he’s alive and alone? Wouldn’t you want to see him again?’
Maggie shrugged and Toni left the room with her cup.
Flick tried to imagine herself in the same situation. Would she want to meet up with a lost love, or would it be better to leave them in her mind where they’d stay young and perfect forever? For the first time she wondered if she was doing the right thing.
18
TONI stood in the vegie garden, the metal zappa in her hand. She’d made this zappa herself when Maggie’s old one had worn to nothing. Maggie had always called it a zappa. Toni wasn’t ever sure why, when Grandad had always called it a hoe.
Toni pulled out the punnet of tomato seedlings and planted them in the furrow she’d just made. The ones she’d planted earlier were tall enough to be staked. By the time they got back from Italy the seeds she planted would be out of the ground. Especially with her mum’s green fingers.
‘Mum, hurry up, we have to go!’ yelled Flick from beside the house, and Toni headed back inside.
Toni washed her hands and zipped up her backpack and tow-along suitcase for tonight’s flight. She threw on her blue knitted jumper over her black tank top, picked up her bags and headed out of her room. Today she was starting the next journey of herself. Today she could lift some of that chip off her shoulder.
‘Come on, Mum. The bus is about to leave!’ shouted Flick.
Toni still took her time, walking through the house and outside to Flick’s car. Jimmy stood at the back with the boot up, waiting for her bags.
She realised she would miss him just as much as she would miss Maggie. He was wearing his stonewash denim work jeans, threadbare short-sleeved cotton shirt and his dark sunglasses. He was looking all kinds of hot. She noticed a hint of a smile. Damn him. She’d been trying so hard to avoid being around him.
He was watching her carefully. She knew that look; something was weighing on his mind. He opened his mouth but it was a few moments before his words formed.
‘Toni, I . . .’ He closed it again. And then the horn tooted, causing them both to jump.
‘Is that everything?’ asked Flick from the driver’s door. She had her hair gathered on top of her head in a loose bun and was wearing black shorts with a red flowing top that just brushed her waist. Toni had to admit she looked fabulous.
‘Yep, fine.’ Jimmy reached for the last bag and put it in the boot, the moment gone.
‘Thanks. I just have to get my glasses,’ Toni said, and raced back into the house. Jimmy didn’t need any more excuse than that to follow her.
Toni grabbed her sunglasses from her bedside table but suddenly felt her arm being grasped.
‘Jimmy, what —’ She was silenced by the fire in his jade eyes.
He pushed her back against the wall and she was like a cornered animal, with no escape.
‘Just wait. I have something to say.’ He glanced down at the floor for a moment
as if searching for his words before lifting those amazing eyes. ‘Now, I’ve tried to let this go but then I realised, what if your plane crashes —’
‘Gee, thanks.’
‘— or something happens while you’re in Italy. It made me realise that I can’t let you leave without telling you how much you mean to me. I might not have this chance again.’
Toni swallowed hard. ‘Are you serious?’
Jimmy pulled back, but only by a fraction. ‘I’ve never met anyone like you, Toni. But I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want. It wouldn’t be right.’ His body was so close, yet so far, and his eyes were intent on hers. ‘So I’m giving you what you want. It’s going back to the way it was. When everything was safe and easy. I won’t bother you again.’
Jimmy took her face in both hands and she thought he was going to kiss her. Toni forgot she was in the house; she forgot she was flying to a strange new land and she forgot all her reasons for not being with Jimmy. She couldn’t afford to let him kiss her again but she felt like she might die if he didn’t.
Then he dropped his hands, and as quickly as he had appeared, he was gone again. The corridor was empty and she was left feeling slightly rejected
When she finally found her legs and managed to get them to function, she headed back outside. Jimmy was talking with Flick and didn’t even look her way.
‘Promise me you’ll take Contractor out for a few sunrises. He likes that,’ said Flick from the car, fixing Jimmy with a steely gaze.
‘I promise. He and I will be best buds by the time you’re back.’
‘But don’t spoil him too much. I’ll do that when I get back. And no taking Nan out on the town either. She’s banned from the club,’ joked Flick.
Jimmy glanced at Maggie, who was shaking her head. ‘Don’t you worry, I’ve got my eye on this one.’
Maggie was laughing now.
Toni wanted to ask if her mum was sure she’d be okay. But she couldn’t get the words out. ‘Now, remember, the phone number for our place in Montone is on the fridge. Ring if anything happens,’ said Toni seriously, glancing between Jimmy and Maggie.