Clean Slate

by Heidi Champa

  I nodded, glad everything was clear.

  “Cool, so I’ll see you later, then.”

  Slipping from his grasp, I moved toward the kitchen but he caught my wrist and stopped me.

  “Wes, I mean it. You probably shouldn’t drive,” he said, his voice full of concern.

  He was being practical. Smart. It was reassuring in a way. The last thing I needed was trying to drive home in my condition.

  “Okay. Maybe you’re right. I’ll wait a bit, like an hour. Head out after my head clears.”

  He pulled me back to the sofa, seeming content with my answer. But it didn’t stop him from opening the wine on the table and pouring himself another glass.

  “How about a movie? My DVR is full of stuff I’ve been meaning to watch,” he said, moving close to me.

  “Sure.”

  Sam picked some drama I’d heard of but didn’t know much about. He downed his glass of wine quickly, pouring himself another. I was going to say something but decided against it. After all, he wasn’t the one who had to drive home. He could stagger upstairs and call it a night. We didn’t get far into the movie before Sam’s hand crept up my thigh. So much for not fooling around.

  “This may sound weird, Wes,” Sam slurred.

  “Okay…,” I said, waiting for what was about to come.

  “Do you think we could cuddle?”

  “You wanna cuddle?”

  He smiled and looked at the floor.

  “Yeah. I’ve never really done it. You know, cuddle on the couch while watching a movie. So what do you say?” Sam asked, his body swaying a bit.

  He looked so sweet, I couldn’t think of a reason not to.

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “I knew I could count on you, Wes.”

  Sam downed the rest of his glass of wine before we got comfortable. I settled onto the couch, lying on my side with Sam in front of me, his back pressed tightly to my chest. My eyes were focused on the television, but all I could think about was how nice it felt to be close to him. He pulled my arm over him and put my hand to his chest. I could feel his heart racing, despite his relaxed demeanor. He smelled really good, obviously putting on cologne before his date.

  The movie continued, but I wasn’t watching. Every time I got into the plot or let my mind cling to part of the story, Sam would shift in my arms, his ass pushing back against my crotch. I ignored it, as much as I could, but it soon became clear that Sam wanted to do a lot more than cuddle. I didn’t want to be the one to make the first move. Sam had drunk far too much wine to be thinking clearly. Taking advantage wasn’t on my agenda that evening. I was feeling much more sober, and I knew it was time to make my escape.

  “Sam, I should really go. It’s late.”

  He held my arm tight and shook his head.

  “Movie’s not over yet.”

  “I’m not really watching.”

  Sam turned himself around, until we were face-to-face, his leg slipping between mine.

  “Me neither,” he whispered.

  His lips brushed against mine, their surface sweet from all the wine he’d drank. Sam soon had me forgetting my best-laid plans, our tongues twining and dancing.

  “I mean it. I should go,” I insisted between kisses.

  Sam ran his fingertips down my spine, his lips teasing my neck.

  “You should stay. I want you to stay.”

  I opened my mouth to object, but it died when Sam put his hand on my ass.

  “You can’t really want to leave, Wes. Not when you can stay right where you are. Right here with me.”

  His eyes met mine, more serious than I’d ever seen them.

  “I can’t. We don’t do that.”

  “We could. You could. You should.” His words ran together, his altered state showing clearly.

  I had to figure a way out without hurting his feelings.

  “Sam, you’re drunk. It’s late. Let’s do this some other night.”

  He clung tighter to me, trapping me between him and the back of the couch.

  “I’m not drunk.”

  “Yeah, you are. It’s cute, actually.”

  He shook his head, closing his eyes for a few seconds.

  “So what if I am? Why does it matter?”

  “Trust me, Sam. You think you want me to stay right now, but come morning, you’ll see things differently.”

  Sam eased back a fraction, the furrow between his brows deepening.

  “If you don’t want to stay, just say so,” he said, a flash of anger in his voice.

  I sighed, letting my forehead rest against his for a moment.

  “I was only saying it would be better if I go. And you would think so too, if you were your usual, sensible self.”

  He tried to move away from me, but as he attempted to get onto his back, he slipped and fell onto the floor. I laughed, but as he rose up to his knees, he looked pissed. Very pissed.

  “Maybe I’m tired of being my sensible self. Maybe for tonight, I wanted to be more like, more like….” He trailed off, his butt hitting the carpet.

  “Me?” I asked, sitting up on the couch.

  He looked at me, his eyes glassy even in the flickering light of the television.

  “Would it be so terrible?”

  I raised my eyebrows, not sure how to respond.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, would it really be that awful to stay? I’m not even talking about sex. Just to fall asleep next to me? To wake up with me in your arms, would that really be so bad?” he asked, his voice making my heart clench.

  Every word out of Sam’s mouth was shocking me. My first instinct was to chalk it up to the alcohol, but there was something else going on. There was something so sincere about what he was saying. I swallowed, hoping what I was feeling wouldn’t show in my voice.

  “No. It wouldn’t be terrible at all. I just wanted you to be sure it was what you really wanted,” I reasoned, hoping he bought it.

  “I’m sure.”

  I held out my hand, which he had a bit of trouble taking.

  “Then get back up here. We have a movie to finish,” I said.

  He slipped onto the couch next to me, our faces inches apart.

  “I don’t care about the movie,” he said before kissing me.

  “Good. Me neither.”

  MY EYES fluttered open, only to squint at the light coming through the windows. Sam shifted in my arms, reminding me of exactly where I was. He was right. It wasn’t so terrible to wake up with him in my arms, but then again, he wasn’t awake yet to want to talk about it. There didn’t seem to be any way to get free without waking him up. It wasn’t just that I was desperate to leave; I was also desperate for the bathroom. After considering my options for a long moment, I realized I had only one choice. I shifted my weight away from him as carefully as I could, and as I suspected, his eyes opened.

  “Morning,” he said, his eyes closing again.

  “If you want to call it that,” I said, kissing his forehead.

  He hugged me back to him, snuggling his face into my neck.

  “Going somewhere?” he asked, his voice muffled.

  “I really need to pee. I’ll be right back,” I said.

  “Okay. I’ll wait here,” he mumbled, turning toward the back of the couch.

  With that, he let me go. After taking my time in the bathroom, I emerged and approached the couch as quietly as I could. Sam had done exactly what I thought he would and fallen right back to sleep. I sighed without a sound, but the relief I felt was tempered with a pang of regret. He looked so damn cute, I was tempted for a moment to lie back down. But I knew I couldn’t. I fixed a blanket over him and crept away to find my shoes.

  I stepped out into the early morning sun, locking the door behind me. Once again, regret swept over me, but it was too late now. I drove home and went to the front door, digging out my key. Before I could put it in the lock, the door flew open. Daniel jumped, his hand flying to his chest.

  “Dude,
what the hell? You scared the crap out of me,” he said, his voice straining to stay quiet.

  “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you,” I replied, trying to act as if what was happening was totally normal.

  He relaxed, at least for the most part. He wandered down the driveway, his flip-flops the only noise in the quiet of the neighborhood.

  “It’s okay. I just wasn’t expecting company on my walk to get the paper. My heart can’t take this much excitement first thing in the morning.”

  “Bummer for Tina,” I said snidely.

  “Very funny, asshole. Anyway, where the hell are you coming from? I didn’t hear you leave this morning.”

  He got back to the porch, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. God, he was such a parent.

  “I didn’t leave this morning. I left last night,” I said, walking past him into the house. I headed straight for the kitchen, hoping my brief explanation would be enough.

  “Okay, fine. I didn’t hear you leave last night. Where did you go?”

  I kept my back to Daniel as I got myself some cereal. After I’d poured the milk, I finally looked at him.

  “Gee, Dad. Did I break curfew again?” I mocked, unable to resist a little fun.

  “Fine, don’t tell me. I was just curious.”

  He sat down at the table with his paper, making a big show of opening it and spreading it out. Just like our dad used to. I relented a bit, moved by his effort to feign interest.

  “Do you really have to ask?” I said, really not wanting to elaborate.

  His face was full of confusion for a long moment, until it finally hit him.

  “Oh. Oh! Okay. I get it.”

  “Took you long enough,” I said as I sat down at the table, shoving cereal into my mouth. My mind drifted to Sam, who was probably still asleep on his couch. The regret I felt at leaving had turned into guilt. In addition to finding me gone, he’d no doubt wake up with a hangover. I could have at least stayed and made him coffee or something. I shook my head to dislodge the thought.

  “So, you got lucky, huh? Good for you,” he said, tapping his hands on the table.

  “Thanks? I thought you wanted me to grow up and find a nice guy,” I said between bites.

  Daniel laughed, picking up the sports section but not looking at it.

  “Man, I’m optimistic, not delusional.”

  CHAPTER 12

  WHEN I woke up on Wednesday morning, I had a knot in my stomach. I didn’t want to see Sam, but I knew I had to suck it up and be professional. Our weekly organizing sessions had often been an excuse to hook up, but after what happened Friday night, I was worried how Sam might react. As I was ready to head out the door, my phone buzzed. It was Sam, texting me. I read it and breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t going to be home and he wanted to let me know where I could find the key. Also, he had left me instructions. With any luck, I would be done long before he came home from work.

  I opened the door to Sam’s house, and everything was eerily quiet. I made my way to the basement and saw a note on top of a stack of boxes. It told me what was to stay and what was okay to go. The rest was up to me to decide. I sighed as I pulled the first box down to the floor and got started. Most of the stuff was junk, which Sam had indicated in the note. But I took more time than I should have going through it, trying to glean any information I could about the guy. It was amazing what you could learn about someone from looking at the crap they bought. Unfortunately, the stuff in the boxes offered me little insight into Sam, except that he never threw a bill away. None of the stuff told me how to stop thinking about him.

  It was nearly noon when I stopped for a break. I had planned to drive back to Daniel’s for lunch, since it wasn’t far, but a note from Sam on the kitchen counter stopped me. He informed me of food in the fridge and wished me a good day. I crumbled up the note and headed toward the door when it opened. I barely had time to take a step back to avoid getting hit.

  “Hey, Wes. How’s it going?”

  It was Sam, his suit jacket hanging over his arm, his tie loosened. His smile hit me right in the heart, but I was too shocked to really enjoy it.

  “Fine.”

  “Were you going somewhere?” he asked.

  I didn’t know what to say.

  “Um, I needed to grab something from my car.”

  “Oh, well, I had a bunch of meetings cancel so I decided to come home early. Are you hungry? I could fix us some lunch.”

  I nodded while I tried to find my words. “Sure. Sounds good.”

  He held the door open for me and I walked into the warm spring air, even though I had no need for anything in my car. After what I thought was an acceptable amount of time, I went back inside to find Sam in the kitchen, two sandwiches on plates in front of him.

  “Hey, I forgot to ask what you wanted to drink.”

  He pulled open the fridge and looked at me, his eyes sparkling.

  “Soda’s fine.”

  I reached out to grab the can, but instead he walked to the dining room table and motioned me over.

  “I thought maybe you’d want to sit down to eat. You don’t have to stand in my kitchen, Wes.”

  “Right.”

  I picked up my plate and walked into the adjoining dining room, picking the chair farthest away from him. Until he called me on it.

  “You don’t have to sit so far away, man.”

  “Okay.”

  I moved next to him and went about eating my sandwich. He smiled at me as we ate, but I resisted the urge to make small talk. Unfortunately for me, Sam wasn’t content to eat in silence.

  “You disappeared on me the other morning,” he said.

  There was no anger in his voice, so I wasn’t sure how to proceed.

  “I know.”

  “You said you’d be right back, but when I woke up, I was all alone.”

  The guilt I’d been feeling for the last few days bubbled up again, and I knew I had to say something to make it right.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I bailed.”

  Sam smiled, but it looked a bit forced.

  “And there I was, by myself and completely, unbelievably horny,” he said, leaning forward a bit.

  It was exactly the right thing for him to say. All the worry I’d felt the moment before disappeared.

  “Well, now I feel really bad,” I said with a grin.

  “Maybe there’s something you can do to make it up to me, Wes.”

  I felt his foot touch mine under the table, and his hand slid over and covered mine. We stared at each other for a long moment before the ringing of his cell phone broke the mood. He looked at the screen and winced.

  “I need to take this,” he said, the regret evident in his voice.

  Sliding my chair back, I picked up my plate and gave a quick grin.

  “I should get back to work anyway,” I said, taking his cue.

  He walked away to answer his call, and I cleaned up lunch. It felt like the least I could do. After I was done, I retreated to the basement and picked up where I’d left off. I could hear his voice as I continued my organization of his things, the animation of his laugh making it through the floorboards. As I finished up with another stack of boxes and tied up a bag of trash, I heard footsteps on the stairs. Sam looked around before he spoke, but his smile said it all.

  “Wow, you really are close to being done down here,” he said.

  “Yup. Almost.”

  I picked up the bag to dispose of it, but Sam stopped me.

  “That can wait, can’t it?” he asked.

  His words were an invitation, but my head was still focused on the task at hand.

  “I guess so. I mean, it probably makes sense to take it out when I’m finished. I’m sure there’ll be more trash by the time I’m done.”

  Sam took the bag from my hand and set it aside, then snaked his arms around my back. I didn’t know exactly how to react.

  “Things look pretty good down here. I’d say you’re done for the day.”
r />   “But I’m not finished with the stack you left and—”

  I didn’t get another word out before his lips were on mine, and my back was soon against the cinder block wall. His hands stole under my T-shirt and ran up my chest.

  “I’m sorry, Wes. Were you saying something? Because before we were so rudely interrupted, you mentioned something about making things up to me.”

  As good as it felt, I tried to stop him from going any further.

  “I was saying I wasn’t done with the work you asked me to do.”

  His lips brushed against mine before kissing me again.

  “I’m fine if we let it slide again. Gives you an excuse to come back,” he said against my lips.

  Sam didn’t let me get out a word, crushing me with another kiss.

  “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you had ulterior motives for having me come here today, Sam.”

  His lips made their way to my neck, and I relaxed under his touch.

  “I always have ulterior motives with you, Wes. I can’t help it. I can’t get you out of my head. Ever. You’re driving me crazy, you know that?”

  He reached for my belt buckle and started to undo it. My pants pooled around my ankles, and Sam reached into my boxers. He took my cock in his hand, stroking me until I was hard. Which didn’t take long. He kissed me, running the pad of his thumb over the head of my dick when I heard his phone ring upstairs. We both tried to ignore it, but he rested his forehead against mine and chuckled.

  “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I really have to get that,” he said, just above a whisper.

  He was already backing away when I replied.

  “It’s okay.”

  “I’ll be back in a few minutes, tops.”

  “Right.”

  After a quick kiss, he took off up the stairs, and I stood awkwardly against the wall, my pants still down. The minutes ticked by, leaving me feeling more and more foolish. A few more minutes passed and I pulled my pants up. Another few minutes and I gave up and returned to the list Sam had prepared. Ignoring the mix of anger and embarrassment that was still swirling through me, I focused on the task at hand, and before I knew it, another hour had gone by.