Flame

by Clarissa Wild

  I snort and let out a roar while my brother throws a towel over my shoulders. “Relax, Hunter. Save your energy for the cage.”

  I wrap my hands and say, “I know, man, but she won’t pick up the phone, and now it’s too late, because I’ve got a fight coming up in a few minutes.”

  Jessie hands me my red gloves. “It’s not too late; you can still tell her after the bout.”

  “I can’t keep putting this off!” I yell in his face. I don’t mean to be an asshole, but not having her near me for days, not even being able to talk to her, makes me so fucking angry I have to spew my guts out to everyone around me.

  “That’s because you need to take your time and think about how you’re going to tell her,” he says. “You told me she won’t like this, and I can imagine you’ll need to be calm so you can explain it to her properly. Talking to her now wouldn’t do much good anyway. You’re not calm at all.”

  “I’m fucking furious,” I growl, putting on my gloves and making sure it all fits right.

  “Yes, that’s what I’m saying,” Jessie says, rubbing my shoulders with a harsh hand. “Use it. Use your anger in the cage. Show them what you got, and win this for us. We’ll figure out later what to do with your girlfriend.”

  I wipe away the sweat on my forehead, taking a few big gulps of air. “Fuck …”

  “It’ll be okay,” Jessie says.

  “No, it won’t. I know she won’t accept this …” I sigh.

  Suddenly the announcer calls my name and I know I’m up next. I need to get out of this room and into the cage now.

  “Worry about that later,” Jessie says as he gives me one last pat on the shoulder. “Focus on the fight. Channel your anger toward him.”

  I fling my arms and legs, shaking my muscles loose as I breathe through my mouth.

  “You can do it,” Jessie says before I walk out into the spotlight.

  The crowd goes nuts for me, cheering my name, chanting a song.

  Hunter, Hunter

  He’s the motherfucking Hunter

  He’ll rip and shred

  Mess with your head

  He’s the motherfucking Hunter

  It’s not a pretty rhyme, but ha, I guess shouting my name every once in a while made them think of an actual song. Go figure, since I love the word ‘motherfucking.’ It’s almost endearing the way they take after me.

  I look for Jaret sitting in the bleachers, and when I spot him I smile. He’s waving like an idiot, a smirk on his face. When I told him what I was doing for a living, he thought it was fucking amazing. I’m glad he came to watch the show.

  Some girls in the crowd scream and cry when they see me walk out. One of them flings her panties at me, which I catch before they hit my head. I give her a quick nod and a wink. She almost faints in her seat. Girls. With a smug smile I throw the panties back at my brother, who winces at the sight, kicking them away. I understand their need to throw their panties at me. They look at me and all they see is a fuck machine, someone who fucks up and someone who fucks your brains out. I’m both, but neither for them. The only panties I’ll gladly accept are those of my Leafy.

  Just the thought of having her petite little body in my hands again excites me. My cock throbs in my shorts as I lick my lips. I can’t wait to be able to rip off her panties again. It’s been too long since I last saw her. Too long. So long, I might leave nothing standing when I finally get my hands on her. I’ll show her every fucking corner of the room with my dick inside her.

  I jump on the stage and the crowd goes wild for me. Literally, people are butting each other, throwing stuff at others because they want to get closer to the grand act. Closer to me. I feel like a fucking porn star when I’m in here, because all those lusty women are squealing at the top of their lungs the moment I stretch my legs to prepare for a fight. It’s a nice compliment, but won’t get me nearly as riled up as imagining her, Leafy, underneath me, with her perky tits, puckered-up nipples, and little ‘O’ mouth as she begs me to release her.

  I don’t need her soon, I need her fucking now.

  I will talk to her today, no question about it. I will make it happen, one way or another, and when I do, I know all hell will break loose, but I won’t let this come between us. I’ll fucking fight for her until the very last drop of my blood.

  And so I will.

  I get into the cage and wait for my opponent to arrive. It’s a big, brawling mass of man, and I can barely see his face underneath all that muscle. It kind of makes me laugh, because he seems to think that’s all he needs to win. With his hands high up in the air, trying to get the crowd to chant for him, he’s already claiming victory. Well, I have news for him: I don’t go down easily. I don’t go down at all.

  When the bell rings I don’t wait one second before charging at him, pounding him with a cross-in counter-punch. I avoid his fist, narrowly escaping getting hit in the face, while I grapple his arm and twist it behind his back. With my knee I force him to the ground, putting pressure on his back as I sit down on top of him. The man quickly pats the ground, showing submission.

  Defeated, motherfucker. Round one is for me. Every round is for me.

  As the ref concludes round one, I get off him and get up from the floor, readying myself for the next round by shifting from one foot to the other, keeping myself pumped up. My brother is yelling at me from the back, telling me to keep my stance and my balance up, and not to let myself get swayed by my opponent’s taunts. It’s true, though, this motherfucker is pissing me off. His squinty eyes dart around and his tongue flicks as he licks his lips, and it’s agonizingly annoying to watch. So much so that I get the desire to let him stick his tongue out and then pound in on his head so hard he’ll bite down and squeal like a little girl.

  I smile from the thought. Sometimes I am a vicious bastard. I don’t give two shits. All is fair in MMA and this is the perfect way to release all my adrenaline. This is what I was meant to do.

  CHAPTER 16

  WHEN DOUBT TAKES OVER

  Autumn

  7 p.m.

  After having lunch with Evie and Amber I went straight back to my room to study. I’ve been trying to get all my homework done, despite the fact that I’m constantly interrupted by my own thoughts. Hunter plagues my mind. I know I need to study, but I can’t stop thinking about him, and what he’s doing right now, how it’s going with the job hunting. The last time I saw him, he told me he’d do his best to find a suitable job, but I haven’t heard from him since a few days ago. Then suddenly he phoned me in the middle of my coffee break with the two girls, so it was hard for me to put my phone down, knowing I hadn’t spoken to him in a while, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

  However, now I’m not so sure. Nothing is holding me back from contacting him. Evie’s gone to Amber’s, and I’m alone in this room with only my books and my phone. It looks so tempting as it lies in front of me on my desk. I can’t resist temptation. I don’t want to. I need to know how he is, even if it’s only been a couple of days.

  That, and I’m wondering if we’re okay. It feels wrong to be away from my boyfriend for such a long time. I wonder if this is going to work. If we can keep this up.

  Desperation takes control, and I grasp my phone and dial his number, anxious to hear his voice.

  But he doesn’t pick up.

  Dammit.

  I put the phone down again and sigh, not knowing what to do with myself. I feel kind of lost right now; being without him has really made me realize how much I need him.

  Suddenly, someone knocks on my door. I wonder who it is, but when I open the door my jaw drops. It’s my dad.

  “Hey. What are you doing here?” I say.

  He’s just frowning, his arms crossed. “Where’s that boyfriend of yours?”

  “Uh … he’s not here. Why?”

  “I need to speak with him. Right. Now.” He barges past me, pushing me aside. I turn around and stare as he looks around.

  “Where did he go? Tell me
where I can find him.”

  “No, why should I? What are you going to do? What do you want from him?”

  My dad clenches his teeth like he’s holding back or something. “You … you didn’t tell me he wasn’t even in college anymore.”

  “What? How do you know?”

  “Your mom told me. Did you really think you could keep that from me?”

  “No,” I say, frowning. “I wasn’t trying to keep anything from you. I just … forgot.”

  “Right, you forgot. Of course you forgot. Like you forgot your promise to make college your number one priority.”

  “It is! Look. I was studying.” I point at my books. “What are you doing here, anyway? Did you just come here to tell me I didn’t tell you everything there is to my relationship with Hunter? Well, I’m sorry for not being able to share as much as I would like with you.”

  He comes closer. “You have no idea how angry I am. You are my daughter, and I want the best for you, but now you go behind our back and date a bad guy. That is not okay.”

  “How can you say that? You don’t even know him!” I yell.

  “He doesn’t have an education. He doesn’t have a job. He probably has a wreck of a house. I bet he doesn’t even have family to support him.” My dad counts it all on his fingers as if each finger adds more weight to his argument. It doesn’t. It just makes me more and more frustrated.

  “He tried to get himself educated, he just can’t. He has a learning disability. And he’s trying to find a job. He’s doing his best, Dad, which is more than I can say about you.” I fold my arms.

  “I don’t need to prove myself. I’ve taken care of you for eighteen years; that’s all the proof you need. I poured every inch of my soul into your upbringing, and now you waste it all by dating that guy. He’s a waste of your time.”

  “Stop. Don’t talk about him like that,” I snarl.

  “You will end this relationship and get back to studying like you were supposed to, so you can get a good job and a good future, like your mother and I wanted for you.”

  “I will not end this relationship, and I will graduate and get a fine job with Hunter by my side.”

  “Then I will do it for you,” he says, walking past me to the door. “Where is he?”

  I grab his arm, keeping him from leaving. “No!”

  He jerks loose, making a face at me when he turns around toward me. “Are you crazy? He has no job! He has nothing to offer you.”

  “Love! He offers me love!” I say, tears springing into my eyes. “Which is something you haven’t been able to offer me for a long time.”

  My dad smashes his lips together, snorting. He stares at me in silence while I force the tears away.

  “Fine. If you want to ruin your future, go ahead. I’ve tried to keep you on the right path. I did my best to make your life better. But it’s out of my hands now. Go waste it away for all I care.”

  His words hurt me so much, I can’t bear them. I can’t listen to it anymore. So when he turns around and walks out, I slam the door behind him. Turning around, I back up against the wood and drop down to my knees, sobbing. My heart is cracking, and it feels like I’m holding it in my hands, a tiny, shriveled-up heart, beating its last thump.

  Brushing away the tear trickling down my cheek, I sigh and get up from the floor. I refuse to let this wear me down. I refuse to let my dad have this effect on my heart. I won’t let anyone make me feel this way about my choices. I don’t know if the choice I made to stay with Hunter in the long run is a good one, but I won’t let him make me believe that it is all for nothing. It’s not for nothing. I got to know him for who he really is and found someone to share my life with, regardless of whether or not we will stay together forever. Nobody can take that away from me. Not even my dad.

  So I suck it up and force myself to forget about him. Grabbing my phone from the table, I dial Hunter’s number again. I need to talk to him, if only just to hear his voice. I need to know everything is okay with him, and that he’s here for me. I need him so much right now. I need to feel his love, even if it’s only through the phone. He’ll listen to me. He knows how I feel and supports me. I cling to this one and only thought.

  As someone picks up the phone, my breath catches in my throat, but what I hear confuses me.

  “Hello?” It’s not him.

  “Hunter?” I ask.

  “No, it’s Jessie.”

  “Oh …” Why does he have Hunter’s phone?

  “Is Hunter around?” I hear lots of noise in the background, yelling and screaming, music, and I instinctively put my hand over my other ear to block it out, hoping I can hear more of our conversation. I wonder what the hell it all means.

  “No … uh … he can’t come to the phone right now,” Jessie says.

  I can faintly hear a group of people yelling something, but it sounds more like a song. Like they’re chanting something. And then it dawns on me. They’re calling out for him. For my man. For Hunter.

  “What do you mean? What’s he doing?” I ask, nervousness heating up my body. What I’m hearing puts me on high alert. I know those sounds, those chants, those squealing girls. I know it because I’ve been around it before.

  “I can’t really … tell you,” Jessie mutters.

  He doesn’t need to tell me. I already know. When a bell is rung and Hunter’s name is called through a microphone, I know. I know it when I hear the crowd burst out into cheers.

  He’s fighting again.

  “Where are you guys?” I ask. I’m trying to keep my emotions and voice under control, but I’m failing. Grinding my teeth, I clench the phone in my fingers. I don’t need to wait for the answer. The name of the club is already being called through the microphone, and then I know exactly where it is.

  I end the call before Jessie has a chance to reply. I need to get there, now. I need to see it with my own eyes. So I get up from my chair, put on my coat, and grab my bag before I storm out the door.

  ♥♥♥

  Hunter

  I’ve got my opponent in a grapple, and we’re both pushing hard to get the other to the ground. My feet are spread to catch his weight as we wrestle each other, trying to throw out some punches as well. One slip of his foot, and I’m jabbing him in the gut. He groans and his spit lands on the floor as he buckles. I see it as an opportunity to kick him in the chest, pounding him down backward. As he lands with his back on the floor, he cries out in pain, and the ref immediately calls a stop to the match.

  I spit on the floor and wipe the sweat from my forehead, breathing heavily. When the ref raises his hand, I know this fight has ended. He points at me and calls me out as the winner. The crowd goes mad with cheers, shouting my name while most of them are up and waving. With a smug smile I raise my hand and wave at the girls fanning themselves, screaming their lungs out for me. The guy on the floor is taken away on a stretcher, clearly unable to walk again. I don’t feel the least bit remorseful. Heck, it’s his own fault he entered this competition. Pity for him he had to go up against me.

  I jog out of the cage and rile up the crowd by raising my hands a few times, blowing kisses at all the ladies. They seem to love it, so why not? After a hard day of roughing people up I deserve a little attention.

  My brother comes toward me and throws a towel over my shoulder. His usual steady walk and strong attitude seem to be replaced by a fidgety, nervous attitude, and I wonder what’s going on.

  “Your girlfriend called,” he says.

  “Crap, during the fight?”

  “Yeah, she asked for you.”

  “Why did you pick up?” I frown and sigh loudly. “Now she probably heard the crowd.”

  “What was I supposed to do? Let it keep ringing? It was driving me insane.”

  “Yes! I was supposed to call her after the match. I need to tell her myself. Fuck … I hope she didn’t hear anything. I don’t want her to find out that way.”

  “Sorry, dude. I didn’t think it would matter if I picked up. I
thought it was important.”

  I brush my fingers through my hair and drink the bottle of water Jessie hands me, throwing the leftovers over my face.

  “She asked where we were, and when I went to answer she hung up.”

  I stop in my tracks and gape at him. “Fuck, no. She knows.”

  “I don’t know. Didn’t seem like it. She kept asking me questions, so I don’t think she knows, although I could definitely tell she’s dying to know.”

  “No … she knows …” I point at my girl, standing in the doorway to the locker room.

  My eyes widen as the look on her face changes from fury to utter revulsion.

  My brother opens his mouth, staring at her for a second before saying, “Yeah, I’ll give you two some privacy then.” He clears his throat and walks back into the crowd.

  Swallowing, I walk toward Leafy with my head between my shoulders. I know I fucked up, big time. I should’ve told her sooner, and now it’s too late.

  With her arms folded she leans against the door, looking royally pissed off.

  “So … I guess the cat’s out of the bag,” I say jokingly.

  “You should have told me what you were doing.”

  “I know. I was trying to call you today, but you didn’t pick up your phone.”

  “You’ve been doing this for a while now, haven’t you?” she says.

  “Sort of … I found it by chance and saw an opportunity.”

  “And you didn’t have the guts to tell me sooner? Why did you keep this from me?”

  I try to come closer, but she backs away, which feels so fucking bad. I haven’t seen or talked to her in days. I want to hold her in my arms, but she won’t let me. I know the reason why. She hates me. She hates what I’m doing, that I’m fighting again, and that this is the way I’m making money. I don’t like it either, but I know this is the only way.

  “Look, I’m sorry, I tried to tell you, but I was …” I sigh. I was too fucking scared of her reaction. I was putting it off, stalling, instead of telling her right off the bat.