A Chieftain's Wife

by Leigh Ann Edwards

  Alainn clutched his hand tighter as she bit her lip and felt the heightening pressure in the lower part of her body.

  Rory hurried toward her with an elderly woman at his side.

  “This woman says she has assisted with many a birthing before, Killian.”

  His eyes were downcast and he would not look at Alainn. The old woman, whose gnarled hands surely suggested she was quite aged, knelt down with some difficulty, but it was managed with assistance from Rory. She appeared to be a meek sort, and Alainn found it reassuring the woman took her hand and kindly patted it a time or two before she began to attend to her laboring.

  “The menfolk must be sent away from here,” she insisted. “A birthing is no place for a man.”

  She had brought several cloths and warm blankets of various sizes and she covered Alainn. She felt immensely grateful for she was dreadfully cold at the moment she couldn’t keep from shaking. When Killian remained seated beside his wife, the woman gestured for him to leave as well. Alainn’s stuttered as her teeth chattered when she spoke.

  “No, p-p-please, m-madam, allow-w-w-w my husband to s-s-s-s-st-t-t-t-tay with me.”

  The bent old woman leaned over and whispered in her ear.

  “Tis a kindness to him, girl, to have him distanced from you during your ordeal, for if he cares for you as he appears to, he’ll be disturbed to see you in pain during your time.”

  “Do you wish to be d-d-d-distanced from me for a time, K-k-k-k-killian?” she rasped, “W-w-would it be easier for you?”

  “By all that is holy, Alainn! That should not be a concern to you at the moment; what is easier for me should not be a consideration! Do you wish for me to remain here with you?”

  “Aye, I do!” Her blue eyes revealed her fearfulness and it caused his heart to constrict.

  “Then I’m not goin’ anywhere!” He held tight to her hand as the woman shook her head in disagreement, but pulled Alainn’s skirts to assess the progression of the labor.

  The men had left them to allow them their privacy, but Rory stood with his back to them and held tight to a large blanket to shelter them from the cold wind.

  By the typical calculation used of the sun’s light being divided into twelve equal amounts each considered to be one hour, several hours had passed and Alainn felt the intense pain so fiercely, she thought she could bear it no longer. But she bit her lip and did not call out or scream or cuss as many women did when she’d witnessed babes being born. Killian had spoken to her lovingly and with such great compassion and caring throughout the entire time, she wanted to conceal the pain she was feeling so he would not bear any guilt for this. She finally made a strangled, moaning sound that must have frightened Killian for his eyes held a question as he looked at her.

  “I feel a great need to bear down!” she insisted.

  “Aye, soon enough, lass; just hold off another moment or two!” The old woman warned.

  “Killian, I am most weary! I fear I can bear this no longer!”

  “Aye, of course you can, my sweet, brave Lainna!”

  She closed her eyes tightly and he saw the tears slowly slide down her cheeks. He drew nearer to her so his lips nearly touched her ear.

  “My plight is greater!” he whispered with tears in his eyes as well.

  She smiled through her obvious pain at that, for the very first day she had spoken to him, when they were only children, they’d played the game she had created. It had been something that bridged the gap of their vastly different stations in life, and they’d played it often times since then.

  “Tell me how your plight is greater?” she whispered as the pain was clearly visible on her face and in her lovely blue eyes.

  “I must simply sit by and watch you go through this torturous agony and if I could take away any of this pain and discomfort, I would gladly do so, Lainna, my only love!”

  “Aye, but you do, Killian, by being here with me, by holding my hand and telling me you love me. You aptly take away my pain and comfort me, as always.”

  She groaned loudly again and the old woman finally permitted her to push.

  After what seemed like an eternity by Killian’s estimation as he felt his hand being crushed with how tightly she was squeezing, he dared to allow himself to look between her parted thighs. He saw the small head was now visible as the child was finally beginning to be pushed from within her. He saw the light brown curls and he prayed all would be well, though deep within his heart he feared it would not.

  His fears were further fueled by Alainn’s words spoken between ragged breaths.

  “Has the priest arrived, Killian? Have you any word on a priest?”

  He tenderly wiped the sweat from her brow and kissed her forehead.

  “Not yet, Lainna, but I’m certain Riley will discover one soon enough!”

  He was alarmed at how much blood pooled on the blanket beneath her. He silently wished Danhoul Calhoun was here, for he had healed her before, and maybe he’d be capable of doing so again. He was startled when he looked up and saw Riley. And with him not only did he have a priest, but the very man he’d just wished to be here with them.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Had he wished it, he wondered? Had the young druid such powerful, magical abilities he was able to come to them by way of a wish? Could he then see to the safety of Alainn and the wee babe?

  The old woman shooed them away and told them to give them the space required to bring the child into the world. Riley and the priest obeyed, the other man did not. He went and kneeled by Alainn’s head and touched his hand to her middle.

  “Don’t attempt to heal me, Danhoul, ’tis the wee babe who is in grave danger. I feel it in my heart. Please do what you can for our son!”

  At that moment, she moaned deeply and loudly cried out for the first time in all the hours she’d been laboring. It was nearly dusk when Killian saw his infant son born. He looked down at their wee babe who remained joined to Alainn’s body. He was small; there was no disputing that, but not as small as some, Killian estimated. And he was not blue or lifeless as he’d feared he might be when Alainn seemed so distraught. He felt great relief and joy when he heard his wee son cry.

  After the woman tended to the cutting and tying of the life cord, she passed the baby boy-child now wrapped in a blanket, to his mother. Alainn glanced at him with tears in her eyes and managed a weak smile. She kissed his head and his cheeks and touched his tiny fingers and with a deep and profound sadness, she passed him to Killian.

  “No, you hold tight to him, Lainna! You’ve been longin’ to hold him for all those many months!”

  “Killian, you must hold your son now, you must look upon him now, I fear ’tis certain to be the only time you will have!” The ominous tone broke his heart and he dutifully took the child from his wife. He looked down at the tiny sweet face as he opened his deep blue eyes and looked up at him.

  Alainn laid her hands to their son the entire time Killian held tight to him. He could see the determination on her face as she attempted to heal him or make health radiate through his small body. He saw her lovely face as it crumpled in complete despair and when Danhoul also attempted the healing and looked at Killian without a hint of hope in his eyes, he continued to pray. When the child’s breathing became suddenly raspy, Alainn immediately called for the priest.

  The baby was hastily blessed and baptized and then the tragic chain of events happened quickly. Killian couldn’t bring himself to even attempt to come to terms with any of it. The gasps became shallower, considerably weaker, less and less frequent, and then stopped entirely. He felt the tears falling down his own cheeks, but when he looked at Alainn the expression in her eyes made his own grief seem trivial. For the complete and utter sadness and desolation was so evident, Killian had to turn away from her. But she did not weep, not one tear did she shed.

  After what seemed an unbearably lengthy time had passed, Killian attempted to speak with Alainn, to tell her he must eventually take the child from he
r so that he could be readied to be laid to rest, but she clutched him tightly to her bosom, and he knew he must allow her this time with their child.

  His heart broke further as he watched momentarily while she removed the blanket and looked upon all of him. She tenderly touched each one his perfectly formed tiny fingers and toes. She caressed his cheeks, his chin, and his soft curls, and then once more wrapped him lovingly in the blanket. She held him to her heart and softly rocked him and sang to him. It was then Killian needed to leave, had to be distanced from the bleak hopelessness and despair for a time. He walked to a nearby secluded grove and he fell to his knees overcome with insurmountable grief, painful sobs wracking his entire body.

  He sensed someone behind him and he didn’t care at the moment that he was not alone. When he saw it was Hugh O’Brien approaching, he looked away. At one time Killian had cared deeply for his uncle, before he’d attempted a great injustice toward Alainn, and tried to keep them from being together. Killian kept his eyes averted from the other man. But his uncle came to him, knelt beside him, firmly took him in his arms and held him securely in a strong embrace. Killian remembered back to when his Uncle Hugh had found him gravely injured on the battlefield the day his father’s castle had been invaded. His uncle had held him just as tightly that day as well.

  He knew Hugh and his wife had lost many newly born babies. He would recognize Killian’s grief. Killian felt strangely comforted, though they spoke not a word.

  When Killian returned to where Alainn remained lying upon the ground, he saw the old woman still seemed intent on tending to his wife’s maladies. Alainn held tight to the lifeless child in her arms. Killian slowly approached and knelt beside her.

  He tenderly whispered to her. “You must let me take him and have him properly laid in the ground, Alainn.”

  “Not here, Killian. He must lie at your castle with your people, by your mother and brother and sister.” Her voice sounded hollow and emotionless as she spoke the torturous words.

  “Tis a goodly ride, Alainn! I’ll go ahead then and take care of it. It will allow you to rest and recover. You can be taken to this good woman’s cottage, for she has offered us that kindness.”

  “No, I will make the journey with you and our son. I, too, will see him properly laid to rest.”

  Killian did not want to argue with her, he did not want to push her on this, so he stood and called the old woman over to where they could speak privately.

  “Is she well enough to make the journey?”

  “The young man who claims to be a healer has touched her belly and tried to stop the bleeding, but still it persists. I would not suggest it is wise that your wife makes a long journey, but sure you must ask the young healer, he seems to be more learned than I.”

  Danhoul had barely left Alainn’s side and, in truth, Killian believed his unusual powers and constant healing might be the only reason why Alainn had not died as well. He summoned him so that he could ask him his opinion.

  “Will she make the journey; is she strong enough to manage it?”

  “I can’t say for certain, Killian. She has lost a great deal of blood, though I don’t possess a wealth of experience in childbirth, by way of my abilities I know she’s surely lost considerably more blood than most women when they birth a child. But if she isn’t able to see your son laid to rest, I’m not sure she’ll be able to accept it, if indeed she can accept it at all! If she is taken by cart at a deliberately gradual speed, and remains lying flat and as still as is possible, perhaps no further harm will befall her. It shall make the journey longer, but will be less perilous for her, by my estimation.”

  “Then we’ll start out as soon as we’re able, Danhoul.”

  “You bear me no ill will for not bein’ able to save your wee boy?”

  Killian’s green eyes were filled with obvious pain, but he spoke with candor. “No, Danhoul, if you and Alainn were not able to save our wee child even with employing your magical healing abilities, then I suppose it was God’s will to take him.”

  “I’d not speak those words to Alainn at the moment, Killian! I suspect she’ll need a great deal of time to come to term with whose will it was that caused this tragedy.”

  “How did you know to come here to aid us?”

  “I heard Alainn’s summoning thoughts. I sensed her grief and felt her pain and though I have been known to journey by way of magic as does she, when I attempted it I was entirely unable. I started out on horseback as soon as I knew she needed assistance.”

  “Aye, well, ’tis grateful I am to you, Danhoul!”

  “My sincerest and deepest sympathy to you, Killian, for I know how much the wee child meant to you, to the both of you. It is my hope you might seek a united solace, that you grieve this loss together!”

  It was the longest, most difficult journey he’d ever made, Killian concluded as he drove the cart that held his ailing wife and the body of their child. She held tight to him. Though he was wrapped in a blanket and his face hidden from view, Killian felt so severely sickened by his own loss and Alainn’s great misery, he thought he could not bear the insufferable injustice of it all. And when he heard her humming tenderly to the child as though he still lived, he wanted to leap off that cart and be gone from the entire morbid scene, but he drove on, and they arrived at Castle O’Donnel at twilight.

  He’d had Riley go ahead to inform Niall and Mary of the happenings. He also asked him to have the sexton and the castle priest ready when they arrived. He’d told him to find an able man to create a tiny casket for the babe, for since William McCree’s death no actual carpenter had been located.

  The moon was full when the cart stopped and Danhoul jumped out with more force than Killian could hope to muster. Riley took Killian’s arm and helped him down from the seat for he felt as though his legs could barely hold him. He saw Rory had followed on his horse and his Uncle Hugh stood there as well. Killian went to Alainn and lifted her from the cart while she still held their son. It was not usual to have a service and burial at night, but Killian reasoned if it was not done now, he wasn’t certain the child could ever be taken from her arms. When he lifted her from the cart he noticed the warm wetness beneath his hand, and he saw the blankets where she had been lying were thoroughly soaked with blood. He gravely feared for her and for himself should he lose her as well.

  “Alainn, I must take you to our chambers where Eibhein can see to your healing.”

  “No, Killian,” she said in barely more than a whisper. “Not yet, we must first go to the churchyard! I must see it done as well!”

  He carried her the entire way though he felt as weary as he ever had in his life. And when they reached the location he found Connor MacLain standing near the open grave and he saw the wee casket waiting there. Alainn held her head tight against his chest and she appeared to notice nothing or no one. When Killian gently set her to standing, Mary placed her arms around Alainn and sobbed openly. Eireen touched her cheek and Niall tenderly patted her shoulder, but Alainn did not look at them, she did not speak or acknowledge their presence. When the sexton came to her with the intention of taking the child, she pulled the child closer to her, and would not permit it.

  Killian once more felt his heart being shredded. He went to her, kissed her head, and gently took the child from her. He knew she would have allowed him and him alone to take the babe from her arms. And the sad look she gave him was so mournful he would have gladly changed the day’s events and gone back to him being the one that died that day, if he could have given her back their child alive and well. But he took the body of the wee infant and placed him on the soft white blanket within the small coffin himself. He wrapped him carefully and lovingly in the soft fabric, and placed a kiss upon his fingers and then upon the blanketed body of the wee babe. Then he went back to Alainn and held tight to her while Cian Donnel O’Brien was laid to rest having lived on this earth for less than one hour.

  But he had been baptized so he was allowed to lie on holy ground
with Killian’s mother’s kin. And through the entire service while most everyone around them was openly weeping and many pitifully sobbing, Killian looked down at Alainn and saw her eyes now stared blankly straight ahead, with a vapid, emptiness about them that disturbed him as much as the loss of their baby. When the wee coffin was placed in the ground, the dirt placed upon it, and filled in entirely, only then would Alainn allow Killian to take her to their bedchamber.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  “She’s lost a perilous amount of blood, milord, and she’s not through with the bleedin’ yet.”

  He heard Eibhein, the midwife’s dire words and he saw Danhoul sat with his hands upon her middle attempting to heal her, but he believed Alainn wanted no part of being healed or getting well. It had been three days. She’d not spoken, not eaten, barely permitted sips of water to be placed on her lips, and still she had not wept. And that bothered him more than each of the other truths. When Danhoul walked toward him, his face a mask of grave worry, Killian felt consumed with a sense of impending doom.

  “She fights me on this, Killian. For every attempt I make at healin’ her, I believe she resists and she thwarts it. She does not appear to want to recover. In truth, I doubt she desires to live through this!”

  Killian had thought that very notion for the past day and a half. When, with every attempt he made to speak to her or console her, she seemed to withdraw further and further within herself. He believed if he she didn’t slip away due to the considerable blood loss, he might lose her to madness!

  On the fifth day, when she became filled with fever, and her eyes closed, he thought he would go mad himself with agonizing grief and worry. Mary sat with her and wept ceaselessly and he thought Danhoul looked like he might break down himself. He knew how close the boy had grown to Alainn and he thought it quite likely he was in love with her. He couldn’t even make himself feel angry about that, for the young man had tried for hours on end each day to heal Alainn and assist in bringing her back to this world, for surely she was not here in mind.