All I need now is a ring and a plan.
“The weather is beautiful today. Perfect for a day trip to Stirling.”
A castle tour. A diamond ring in my pocket. A well-rehearsed speech in my head. But my favorite part? Lou has no idea that I’m going to propose to her when we reach the high point of the perimeter where you look out over the Trossachs.
“How in the world have you not been to see Stirling Castle?”
“My dad and Heidi didn’t have interest in taking me anywhere. After I was on my own, there was no time for things like this. I had to work all of the time or the bills wouldn’t get paid.”
Lou’s life shouldn’t have been so hard. But those days are over. She’s going to be mine to take care of forever.
We arrive at Stirling Castle and Lou’s entire mood changes. Her eyes fill with intrigue. “Think about it, Hutch. All of the people throughout history who have traveled this stone path by foot or horse or carriage. Kings, queens, peasants. Some of them probably our ancestors.”
“Aye. It’s a definite possibility.”
Lou stops and looks at me for a moment. “Is everything all right?”
I’m nervous as fuck and she’s picking up on it. “I’m good. Why do you ask?”
“You seem distracted or something.”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been here. I’m just taking it all in again.”
Lou slips her hand in mine as we approach the entrance. “I’m sure there’s at least a dozen other things you’d rather be doing today. Thank you for taking one of your days off to spend it doing something I love.”
“There is nothing I’d rather be doing today more than being here with you.” She doesn’t know it yet but this is going to be one of the most memorable days of our life.
“Come on, Hutch. You wouldn’t rather be watching rugby or football?” One of her brows lifts. “Be honest.”
“I don’t care what I’m doing as long as it’s with you.”
“That’s very sweet but don’t worry. We don’t always have to do what I like. I’m happy to do sports stuff or whatever with you.”
“I know. I’m not worried.”
We go through the arched entrance and take a left into the Queen Anne Gardens. I’ve always thought that the area was wee and unimpressive for a castle of Stirling’s size, hence the reason I’m not proposing to Lou there.
She stops and looks at everything. Every. Thing. At this rate, the castle is going to shut down before we make it to the spot where I want to propose.
“Oh look. There’s the chapel. And I hear music.” She grabs my hand and tugs. “Let’s go in and listen for a minute.”
We work our way toward the back of the chapel and find an open area to stand and listen to the children performing orchestra music.
“That is unbelievable. I can’t believe children are playing that music.”
The song they’re playing ends and a wee lassie, not a day over six, steps forward. A few notes fill the chapel, and I recognize the song she’s going to sing.
“‘Hallelujah.’ I love that song.”
The lyrics of the song flow from the wee girl’s mouth and chills form over my entire body. She sounds like an angel from heaven.
Lou is standing in front of me and reaches for my hand, intertwining her fingers with mine, and brings our clasped hands to rest over her heart.
The song ends and Lou looks at me over her shoulder, wiping away a tear on her cheek. “That was beautiful.”
“Aye, it was.”
We move through the crowd and leave the chapel, continuing our tour. And finally, we approach the perimeter where you look out over the Trossachs.
“This is amazing.”
“It is but it’s nothing compared to you.”
A powerful gust of wind blows, and I wrap my arms around Lou from behind. I squeeze her tightly and gather my courage. And every word that I’ve rehearsed in my head for the last two days has vanished from my brain. So I guess I’m winging this.
“Before I met you, I thought I had everything. I believed that money and success equated to happiness, but what I really had was nothing. I was empty inside, so empty that I couldn’t even love the precious wee angel that had been sent into my life. But you changed everything for me. Life as I knew it ended, and you showed me what true happiness is. You are my world, Lou. My everything. And I don’t want to ever be parted from you again.”
“You are my everything too. I want to be with you always.”
I release my hold on Lou and reach into the pocket of my jacket, taking out the black velvet box. She turns around, I think to kiss me, and her eyes widen when she sees me drop to one knee.
“You’re already mine in all ways but one. It’s time to make it official. I want to give you my name. And when you’re ready, I want to give you babies. As many babies as you want.”
I crack open the ring box, and I can’t recall ever seeing a bigger smile on her face.
“I love you, Caitriona Brooke Louden. My bonnie Lou. Will you marry me?”
She nods and a tear falls down one of her cheeks. “Yes. A million, billion, trillion times yes.”
I slide the ring on her finger and it’s a perfect fit. “Mrs. Cait Hutcheson. It sounds good but you’ll always be Lou to me.”
“I know. Hearing you call me Cait would just be all wrong.”
I stand and she jumps into my arms, wrapping her body around mine.
“I love you.” Kiss on my right cheek.
“I love you.” Kiss on my left cheek.
“I love you.” Long, hard kiss against my mouth.
Our foreheads are pressed together. “I’m so happy, Hutch. I can’t wait to be your wife.”
“If we leave now we can make it to the registrar’s office before they close and notify them of our intent.”
“Wow. Someone is in a hurry.”
I don’t want to cast a shadow on Lou’s happiness, but I have to tell her what Alex Kincade has advised me to do. “I am in a hurry, and that’s something that we have to talk about.”
“I don’t like the sound of that.”
She’s going to like what I have to say even less. “I had a consultation with a family law solicitor a few days ago about Ava Rose’s custody. He predicts that the Lochridges will use your character as a weapon for winning custody of Ava Rose. They’ll say that you’re not fit to be around her because of your former employment as an escort.”
“They’re going to portray me as a whore.”
“You and I know the truth, but it’s also true that you worked at Inamorata. They’ll use that information against you. Against us.”
“Oh God, Hutch. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not sorry. If you hadn’t taken a job with Cora, I wouldn’t have met you.”
“I don’t want my past to be used as a means to take Ava Rose from you. I can’t live with that.”
“I told Mr. Kincade about my intentions to marry you. He advised me to wed you as soon as possible, and to do it quietly without tipping off the Lochridges. He believes that it is in the best interest of our case to make you my wife and work on establishing a reputable name for you.”
The happiness in Lou’s eyes is replaced by something else. Sadness? Shame? “That makes me sound like a horrible person.”
“You and I know who you are, but the Lochridges are going to make you out to be someone you’re not. They will portray you to be a woman who took money in exchange for sex.”
“Maybe only once and only with you, but I am a woman who took money for sex.”
“They can never know about that. They’ll use it against us.”
“We’re going to lie about our agreement?”
“If we need to.” I bring her hand up and study the ring on her finger. “We love each other. You’re going to be my wife. That’s the only truth they need to know.”
“You know they won’t let that be the end of it.”
Lou hasn’t had an easy life. And l
osing our child cut her to the bone. The thought of being the person who introduces more pain and hardships into her life kills me.
“Marrying me means that there will be many difficulties introduced into your life. As much as I hate it, my problems with the Lochridges will become your problems. Being my wife won’t be easy. I can promise you that much. I love you, fuck, I love you, but I understand if all of this is too much for you to take on after everything that you’ve been through.”
“I’m not afraid of difficult times. I’m pretty accustomed to them actually. And I’m not scared of the Lochridges. There’s nothing they can do to keep me from becoming your wife.”
“My wee fighter.”
“You don’t know the half of it. I retreated and let Blair have her way because I didn’t want to cause trouble for you. But that woman doesn’t know me. She has no idea how hard I’ll fight for those I love.”
An ordinary woman wouldn’t be able to withstand the shite coming our way. I wouldn’t drag Lou into this fight if I thought that she couldn’t handle it. But I know she can. She’s the strongest woman I know. And she makes me a stronger man.
It’s official. Our intent to be married next month has been recorded. All we have to do is plan a wedding and count down the days until Lou is my wife.
“Our wedding will need to be small without any formal announcements.”
“I don’t care about that stuff, Hutch. Small and hushed is fine with me. Becoming your wife is the only thing that matters to me.”
Everything about this time around is different.
Mina wanted a wedding fit for a king and queen. It was a production for those within our world who Mina felt that she must impress. In the end, it was more like a runway show than nuptials.
Lou is the exact opposite. For mo maise, our wedding is about our union. Becoming husband and wife. And I adore that about her.
“I want to go to Glasgow tomorrow and tell my family about our engagement.”
“I would love to do that.”
And with our happy news comes sad. “I have to tell them the truth about Ava Rose.”
“It’s going to break their hearts.”
“Aye, but I can’t keep it from them any longer. The truth is going to come out eventually, and it’s better if they hear it from me first.”
“I know and you’re right. But it’s just so unfair to have your hand forced like this.”
I want the entire family to be at Mum and Dad’s tomorrow when we tell them about our engagement. And that means I can no longer put off telling Lou about Ian’s pregnant girlfriend.
“There’s something I’ve not told you. It’s not because I was keeping it secret. I just wasn’t sure how to tell you. I’m still not sure I know how.”
The wind catches Lou’s hair, sending it into a whirl. I wrap my arms around her and she pushes her hands into the pockets of my wool coat.
“You can tell me anything. Just say it.”
It’s been two months since he told me and the idea still hasn’t sunk into my brain. “It’s Ian. He’s going to be a father.”
It takes a moment for Lou to respond. “That’s unexpected.”
I know this must be painful for her to hear. “You’ll be seeing the lass at my parents’ house, possibly as soon as tomorrow, and she’s quite pregnant.”
“I didn’t know Ian had a girlfriend.”
“He didn’t. The baby is the result of a hookup, but they’re exploring the possibilities of a relationship for the sake of the baby.”
“What’s her name?”
“Shannon. She’s a nice lass. My family likes her. And my parents are excited about having another grandchild. Especially Mum.”
“Do they know if it’s a boy or girl?”
“A girl. Her name is going to be Pearl.”
“Your first niece.”
“Our first niece. You’ll be my wife when she’s born.”
“That’s right.”
Lou is trying to be happy but I can feel her hurting. Learning about the upcoming arrival of my brother’s new baby is painful for her. And I understand her ache. Because I feel it too.
But it won’t always be like this. Our bairn will grow inside of her one day. Soon, I hope.
12
Caitriona Louden
Calvin parks in front of Gus and Clarissa’s house, and I’m anxious. My heart is pounding a million beats a minute and it has nothing to do with winning the approval of my in-laws to be. I already know that Hutch’s family will be pleased about our marriage.
We should be happy about walking into this house and announcing our engagement. But instead I’m in knots because we’re going to confess everything that Blair has the power to expose.
Everything about this is unfair. The way Hutch and I met is private. It should only be our business, but Blair is forcing our hand.
Bitch.
There are four cars parked in front of the house. “The whole family is here.”
Great. That means that I get to confess to all of my future in-laws at the same time that I once agreed to be an escort. God, I hope they don’t think poorly of me. But how could they not? Escort. The word is synonymous with so many unsavory terms: prostitute, call girl, whore. The list goes on and on.
“Are you ready, mo maise?”
I force a smile. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Hutch leans over, cradles my face with his hands, and kisses me. It’s so soft and sweet that I feel like I’d float away if he weren’t holding on to me. “No worries. They’re going to be thrilled for us.”
“I know they’ll be happy about our engagement, but it’s the other stuff that is bothering me.”
“It’s going to be fine. Let’s just get it out of the way so we can move forward.”
The scene in the Hutcheson’s living room is a surreal vision of what life with this family is going to be like. Gus in his favorite chair. Ian sitting beside a very pregnant woman on the sofa. Adam and the boys sitting on the rug. Clarissa and Sara absent, presumably in the kitchen finishing dinner.
Mason waddles over to me and reaches up, attempting to touch Ava Rose’s foot. “Bebe.”
“Ah, Mason. You want to see your baby cousin?”
I bend down, bringing Ava Rose to Mason’s level.
“Bebe.”
“That’s right. She’s your baby cousin.”
Mason leans forward, hugging Ava Rose, and she squeals when he squeezes a little too hard.
“Easy Mason. She’s still a wee lassie,” Hutch says.
“Give soft hugs to Ava Rose,” I tell him in my “talk softly to children” voice.
Mason releases his hold and dashes back to the rug where his toys are.
“Lou, come over and meet Shannon,” Ian says.
I sit next to Ian’s pregnant girlfriend and place Ava Rose on my lap. “I’m Caitriona Louden but everyone in this family calls me Lou. And you can too.”
Hutch introduced me to his family as Lou. It wouldn’t feel right to tell them to call me Cait after all this time.
“It’s lovely to meet you.”
I might as well address the elephant in the room. The pink one. “Hutch tells me you and Ian are having a girl and her name is going to be Pearl? Is that a family name?”
“No, we just like it.”
“It’s a beautiful name.” Very regal sounding.
“Thank you.”
Shannon gestures toward Ava Rose. “Is it all right if I hold her?”
“Of course.”
She takes Ava Rose from my arms and places her on her lap. “I should probably get used to this since I’ll have one of my own soon.”
“True. Your baby will be here before you know it.”
Her pregnancy is the result of a hookup, not the coming together of two people in love. I wonder if that lessens the way she and Ian feel about the baby. Or do they already love the little girl growing inside her with all of their hearts the way that I loved my baby?
“She smells so good.”
“I use lavender and chamomile baby bath wash and lotion.”
“Lavender and chamomile. I’ll need to remember that.”
“Ava Rose’s skin is very sensitive. She has to use a special brand and they don’t sell it in the stores around here. I’ll buy some for Pearl when I place our next order.”
“That would be great. Thank you.”
All of us move into the dining room. It’s the first time all eleven—soon to be twelve—of us have come together under this roof and around this table. I’m glad everyone will be here when we share our big news. But I’m not so excited about telling them the unpleasant parts.
“The cock-a-leekie is delicious. I’ve never had better.”
“This is my mum’s version. Max has always loved it. I’m happy to teach you how to make it if you’d like.”
“Yes, I would love to learn. Actually, I’d love to learn anything that you’re willing to teach me about Scottish cuisine. Despite living here for so long, I still don’t know how to cook many dishes.”
“Don’t let Lou fool you. She can cook. Cajun is her specialty.”
“A Cajun meal would be a real treat. What could I do to convince you to cook for us one night?” Clarissa asks.
“No convincing needed. I’d be happy to cook for the family.”
Clarissa smiles, looking at Hutch and then back to me. And then her eyes move to the enormous diamond on my left hand. “Excuse me, but do you have something that you’d like to tell us?”
Hutch reaches for my hand, cupping his around mine. “Lou and I have news to share.”
All eating stops and everyone’s attention is focused on us.
“I have proposed to Lou and she has agreed to become my wife. We’ve notified the registrar of our intent and we will be married next month.”
Any doubt that I might have had about Clarissa’s happiness is gone when she squeals and launches herself out of her chair, rushing toward us. “I knew it. I knew you’d be married before the end of the year. Didn’t I tell you, Gus?”
“Aye. You did, love.”
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