A Silent Prayer

by Samreen Ahsan

  I place my hands on his. “You don’t need to worry. We just talk. That’s it!”

  “He comes here to talk?” he asks sarcastically. “Since when have you started counseling?”

  “Come on, Mike. What’s the problem with being friends? Apparently, he doesn’t have any friends.”

  “The whole city knows him, and you say he doesn’t have any friends?” He twitches his eyebrow at me.

  “That’s his professional life. Just because the whole city knows him, doesn’t mean he’s surrounded by friends. But I told you before, there is nothing between us but friendship.”

  “How can you let a man stay with you the whole night? You don’t even have a guest bedroom here. In all these years, you’ve never let me cross that boundary.”

  “Please, Mike.” I am at a loss for words. “I don’t know how to explain.” He would never understand my nightmare problem.

  “Are you falling for him?” he asks. His gaze gets deeper on me, shaking me inside and out. “Just say yes or no.” I remain speechless, not sure what to say. If it is a no, then why am I taking so long to say it? And if it is a yes, then I know I am in trouble.

  “Should I take this silence as a yes?”

  “I don’t know, Mike. Please, don’t ask me.”

  “Your eyes say everything, Rania. I can see how you feel about him. I can only say he is the luckiest man alive, but if he ever does anything to hurt you or break your heart, I swear I will be the first one to kill him. You mark my words.” Mike’s sudden seriousness blows my mind. He goes on, “Just stay safe and don’t give your heart to someone who doesn’t know the meaning of love. I know he likes you, but I don’t see anything beyond that.”

  I close my eyes and hide my face in my hands. “I can’t help it, Mike. I am getting addicted to him.” I don’t believe I just said this to Mike. He pulls my hands away from my face and reads it keenly.

  “Are you in love with Adam?”

  “I don’t know. Love is a very strong feeling to call it at this moment but… when he is not around… I feel incomplete. He brings life to me.” After my declaration, a dam of tears opens and I let all my feelings out on my poor friend. He wraps his arms around me to comfort me. When all my tears are spent, he pulls me back and cups my face in his hands.

  “That’s what I was afraid of. I didn’t want you to fall apart. Does he know?”

  “No. I hadn’t even admitted it to myself. I don’t know how you got it out of me.”

  “It’s because I’m your best friend. You should give me a little credit.” He smiles at me generously, which makes me smile too. “What about him? Has he said anything about his feelings?”

  “He has revealed a lot, more than I expected. He hasn’t said he is in love, but whatever feelings he has are beyond my endurance. He keeps saying that there is something in me that is missing in him. I remind him of someone, but he doesn’t tell me who. I know he is attracted to me and I am also attracted to him, but every time I try to take a step forward, my past pulls me back.”

  “Have you told him about—”

  “No, I haven’t. He has found out a lot about me already, but I’m afraid if I tell him, he will run away.”

  “But you need to tell him, before things get worse. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into. There are paparazzi standing outside your building, trying to find out if you are actually dating him. Don’t you think they will dig out the details about you? What if Adam finds out about you from these newspapers? Isn’t it better that you tell him yourself?” I know Mike is right. So far, Adam has shared everything from his past with me, but I haven’t told him anything about mine, except for my mother’s death. I am afraid if he hears about it from other sources, it will only bring shame to him. “I can’t say if he’s the right guy to trust that much,” Mike says. “But if you think he’s good enough for you, then I can only pray you get all the goodness you deserve. I can’t stand to see you in pain.” I smile at his sincerity. I know Mike cares about me a lot. “What about Uncle Bari? Dad told me he’s not happy with all this. He is being questioned at his work.”

  I take a deep breath, not sure what to say. “I told Baba that Adam is just my friend, and since he is rich and famous, the press writes down everything associated with him.” How can I tell him that I told my father that Adam is like Mike to me? If I place Adam in Mike’s position, I am sure it will hurt Mike’s feelings. And the truth is, they both stand in different compartments of my heart. With Mike, I can easily say that he is the person whom I know will never betray me or leave me in pain. Whereas with Adam, the feeling is nameless. I’m not sure in what part of my heart I shall put him, but he has touched every single place there.

  “Uncle Bari spoke to you? For real?” Mike asks in surprise. I nod in silence. “There is nothing to worry about concerning your record. I’ve done a background check in the systems, and there’s nothing. I’m sure Adam has done the same, but still, you never know how far the press might go. They know about your father and his position.”

  “Yes, I know. Adam showed me the paper.”

  “So where is he now? He left before the paparazzi showed up?” He smirks at me.

  “No, he left a while before you came. He said he’d deal with the press himself. He had to go to some dinner at the mayor’s house.”

  “Oooh, mayor’s house. That sounds rich. So we two are back on track? Just you and me together?” His smile always melts my heart and makes me grin. “You know, girl, it has been almost four months since I’ve eaten anything cooked by you? The training lunches and dinners sucked big time. And you know how Dad cooks. So tonight, you’re cooking for me, baby.” He points at me and smiles devilishly. He relaxes on the couch, taking off his shoes, and puts his feet on the ottoman. “I’m going to relax and watch you cook for me tonight. Until your Richie rich stalker comes home, which I’m sure will be after dinner.” I laugh at his comments about Adam. I don’t know how these two men will ever get along.

  “What do you want me to make?”

  “Umm… how about lasagna? It’s been a really really long time.”

  “Okay, let me check if I have the ingredients. Otherwise, you’ll have to go down to the grocery store and get the things.” I get up from the couch and head toward the kitchen. Mike has no plans to move; he seems to be in vacation mode right now. It is wonderful to see him like this; it makes me realize how much I’ve missed his company. His work requires a lot of time, but he still manages to make time for me because I know I hold a very special place in his heart. He browses the TV and comments about a new crime investigation series, and how it relates to what he actually does. Although he is engaged in TV, I know his mind is focused on me. I remember him once telling me, One day, when you’re my wife, I’ll enjoy watching you cook for me and my kids. I wonder if he is still thinking that.

  Luckily, I have everything required for lasagna. When I put it to bake in the oven, my home phone rings. Mike gets up from the couch and answers the call.

  “Yes?” He remains silent, listening. “Can you send the parcel upstairs?” He waits. “Okay, thank you.” He hangs up the phone. “You have a delivery.” For me? I haven’t ordered anything lately.

  After a few minutes, we hear a knock at the door. Mike answers and receives an orange envelope, addressed to me. He puts it on the counter. “Open it,” I say. “I don’t remember ordering anything.” He picks up the scissors and cuts the envelope open. Inside is an entertainment magazine.

  I open the magazine and am surprised to see Adam and me on the main page. Mike’s jaw drops. Everything from the past week is there, like a rolling film on paper. Pictures from the opera, pictures of us walking on the streets of Edmonton, pictures in the hotel lobby, pictures at the entrance to the Moores’ estate and then, Adam coming with me into my building. What the hell is this? I don’t even dare to read what they have written, but the snipp
ets tell me that it’s complete gossip. Mike sees my expression and grabs the magazine from me. He looks at the pictures and I assume he is reading it.

  “What the fuck is this? Is it true you stayed with him in a single suite?” What? I wasn’t expecting Mike to ask me that. Is it written in the magazine? “You guys were staying together, Rania?” Mike still sounds shocked. I close my eyes furiously. I feel like running away and hiding in Adam’s arms, to avoid all the questions bombarding me. Baba! What will he think? Oh my God!

  “It seems like someone is stalking you. Watching your every move. Does Gibson know about all this?” I shake my head in negation. I’m still in shock.

  My phone buzzes in the middle of our conversation.

  I am so bored here. I told you, you should have come. What am I supposed to say about what’s going on in the House of Commons? I’m hungry and don’t feel like eating here. Miss your food. Can you cook for me? I’m coming home.

  Home? Did he call my apartment his home? Oh shit! I didn’t expect he would be coming so early. He will definitely overreact, seeing Mike here. How can I ask Mike to leave without dinner? Think, damn it! I reply back instantly.

  Dinner is already cooked. I have a guest. I hope you don’t mind dining with other people.

  Within seconds, my phone starts to ring.

  “You didn’t tell me you were inviting people for dinner,” Adam says, as soon as I pick up.

  “It wasn’t planned. You can come. Dinner is almost ready. I’m setting the table now.”

  “Who’s there?” He gets very concerned.

  “No strangers. Come over and see for yourself.” Please Adam, don’t create any drama.

  “Hey, Rania, where do you want me to put this garlic bread?” Mike calls from the kitchen.

  “Is Mike there?” Adam asks from the other end.

  “Yes, he is. Come over. I’ve made lasagna.” I try to be as composed as I can, but I’m pretty sure from Adam’s huff that he is not comfortable with this at all.

  “How long have you and Mike been alone?” He still sounds annoyed.

  “Adam.” I roll my eyes. “Bring some sodas and orange juice. I will see you in a while.” I hang up the phone without listening to him further. I look toward the kitchen, where Mike is standing.

  “Hey, we’re out of sodas and no beers, either. Let me get something to drink. It’s unfair to eat this heavenly lasagna without a pop.”

  “Adam is on his way. I’ve asked him to get drinks for us.” I speak hesitantly. Mike looks at me, speechless and open-mouthed.

  “You called Richie rich, to come here?” Mike asks, astonished. I nod in affirmation. “Is he going grocery shopping for you?” I sigh in front of him and take the lasagna from the oven, ignoring him. I know he is watching me speculatively, but I’m in no mood to answer him. I have one more drama coming over to my place, which I will have to deal with soon. “So Richie rich is finally getting domestic, huh?” Mike is enjoying this. I fold my arms over my chest and look at him with annoyance. There’s too much going on at one time. Someone has been stalking me for a week. My life is printed in the papers. My dad is pissed at me. I have a best friend who keeps declaring his love. And I have a new man in my life, who is overly possessive and jealous of my best friend. What next?

  I set everything on the table and ask Mike to join me. The lasagna is piping hot, so we both sit and wait for Adam to join us. I hear his knock at the door, and open it to find Adam holding a box of Coke cans in one arm and a bottle of orange juice in the other. He looks adorable doing domestic stuff.

  “Hey, I missed you. The dinner was so boring. I had to escape.” He looks at me from head to toe, as if meeting me after years. I grab the juice bottle from him. “Is this the one you drink?” he asks. “I thought I saw that brand in your fridge.” He smiles and hangs his jacket in the closet. He even remembers the juice I drink.

  I fix the collar of his shirt and smile at him. “Someone is looking really handsome in Armani.” I wink at him and head to the kitchen. I try not to ogle him, as he looks extremely sexy and highly edible in his black tuxedo, much more edible than lasagna. How can someone look so stunning? It’s so not fair to all the females. He follows me, and notices the magazine on the countertop.

  “What the hell is this?” he says.

  “I got this by mail, just a while ago,” I say blankly, while taking out the glasses from the upper cabinet.

  He turns around and sees Mike. Mike walks toward him and looks at him in anger. “Can you tell me what this is about, Gibson?” Adam remains speechless. I didn’t see that coming, either. “Can you tell me why you are putting my friend’s life in the limelight?” I can see how furious Mike is. He knows the backlash this could cause if Baba sees it. “Someone has been stalking her for a week. Her every movement is being captured and you don’t see that coming? Are you blind or what?” He keeps firing questions at Adam.

  “Mike, please.”

  “You stay out of this, Rania. Let me talk to him man to man.” He ignores me and glares at Adam while Adam’s eyes are locked on the magazine. I am sure he didn’t know anything about it. Stupid reporters! “What is going on?”

  “I’m sorry, I have to make a call.” Adam leaves the counter area.

  “You are not running away, Mister,” Mike insists. I’ve never seen this side of Mike before.

  “Listen, Mike, let me make a call. I will find out who’s stalking her.” Adam is not able to maintain eye contact with Mike.

  “Better talk here. Put your phone on speaker. I wanna know what’s going on.” Mike crosses his arms over his chest. He is interrogating Adam like a typical cop. Now I see how he is at work.

  Adam makes a call, and a guy picks up the phone. “Did you see Entertainment Weekly today?” Adam asks angrily.

  “Yes, sir. I just found out that Ethan Murray had someone following your lady since she reached Edmonton.” I see Adam’s fist tightening with frustration. Oh God! Of all people, that asshole is the one after me. “He has hired a private photographer.”

  Adam tries his best to control his anger. “How sure are you?”

  “I stole the photographer’s laptop, sir. He had the pictures. And…” The guy stops.

  “And… ?” Adam prompts.

  My heart skips a beat. “And there were many pictures just of her. Close-ups.”

  “You have Murray’s laptop right now?” Mike interrupts.

  “Sir, I stole the photographer’s laptop. But I am sure Ethan Murray has files too.”

  “I want to see those files,” Adam says. “Send me copies immediately.”

  “Yes, sir. Right away.”

  Adam ends the call.

  “This is bullshit,” Mike shouts at him. Adam doesn’t answer. “I’m going to find out how this happened, and don’t you poke your nose in it.” He points at Adam.

  “Listen, Mike. I am as concerned as you are. But—”

  “No buts, Gibson. If Ethan Murray—whoever that asshole is—finds out that you’ve hired an agent to go after him, do you think we’ll ever be able to find out his true motive?”

  I get in between the two distraught men. “Mike, I know you worry about me a lot, but trust me, no one can get to me against my will.”

  “Oh, cut out this crap about will, Rania. There’s a man who is watching your every move. We have no bloody clue how he’s planning to use the information. Are you getting what I’m trying to say here?” Mike’s sudden look sends chills of alarm through me. I bite my lip in fear, and possibly Mike is able to read my expression, so he doesn’t say any more because he knows I haven’t told Adam all the details of my past. “I will try to find out what this guy wants. But this has to remain between us.” Mike looks at Adam. “Just ask your agent to stay out of it for now. I’ll dig out the details in my own way.”

  “He’s dead. I’m gonna kill that bastar
d,” Adam yells. “I don’t care what happens to me after that, but I’m going to kill him with my own hands.”

  I try to soothe him. “Calm down, Adam. Please don’t overreact. You—”

  He interrupts me. “Overreact? Do you have any fucking clue what he’s doing?” Adam looks at me with smoldering eyes. “And now your best friend blames me for everything.”

  “I’m not blaming you. But let me handle it, okay? I’m working with the law, so don’t get involved.” Mike looks at me. “Give me a day and I’ll find out everything, but ask Adam to stay out of it.”

  Adam looks at Mike fiercely. “I can’t leave her alone, Mike.”

  “I know that. I’m not asking you to leave her. All I’m saying is that stalking is considered a harassment crime.” Mike faces me. “Rania, has Murray ever tried to harass you physically?” I shake my dead in denial. “Has he tried to approach you? I mean through excessive phone calls or emails? Or left something at your door? Anything like that?” I shake my head again. “So basically all he’s doing is taking pictures of you secretly, and we can’t prove it unless we either find that photographer and get him to testify, or get Ethan’s laptop.” Mike makes sense. “It’s not a criminal harassment case yet. He was smart enough to only give the press the pictures with Adam in them. We can’t do anything about that because Adam is a well-known personality. The media have gossiped about Adam’s life, not yours.”

  Mike faces Adam and looks directly in his eyes. “I can see, Adam, that you care about her, but I want you to stay out of this. Your interference will only create more problems.”

  He looks back at me and continues, “Under the criminal code, we can only charge him if he trespasses on your property at night, assaults you, sends you threatening notices, or tries to intimidate you. So far, he hasn’t done anything illegal that we can prove. So let me watch him and I will update you guys, okay?”

  I am so confused right now that I want to run for the hills. I can’t even breathe outside in the open air. I have no idea how far Ethan will go. Though I am trying to put Adam at ease, deep down inside I am scared, shit scared.