A Silent Prayer

by Samreen Ahsan

  He takes me to board the aircraft. During the whole two-hour flight, I keep trying to call her, hoping she will pick up, even though I know her phone may have been burned in the fire. There is still no news from Frank. The two bodies that have been recovered were unrecognizable without DNA testing. The journey seems endless. My money, my power, my riches, they all failed to keep her safe.

  By the time I reach Toronto, it is past midnight. I rush immediately to Rania’s building, where the fire has consumed my life. It’s crowded with media people, fire trucks and police cars, but in all those people, I can’t see my Rania anywhere. I keep yelling her name, but there’s such a stampede that no one hears me. Freezing rain is falling, but the fire has such a hold that the rain isn’t affecting it. Everyone is soaked, running around like crazy searching for their loved ones. My life seems to come to an end, like the Day of Resurrection has already arrived, and there’s no escape.

  I get surrounded by reporters and photographers.

  “Mr. Gibson, when did you get this news?”

  “Mr. Gibson, we heard your girlfriend is in the building?”

  “Mr. Gibson, have you been able to find your girlfriend?”

  “Mr. Gibson, have you identified the burned victims?”

  “Hey, please, back off.” Ali pushes everyone away from me. “Mr. Gibson is not in a state to be talking to anyone right now. Please let us find her and pray that she is all right.” After thirty minutes of searching the crowd, Ali asks me if I will go to the hospital to identify the burned bodies, to see if one of them is Rania. No, I can never do that. I have a firm belief that God has saved her for me. I’ll never admit that she is no more. But Ali convinces me that they have looked for her everywhere.

  When I reach my car, I see someone standing under a barren tree. My heart skips. It’s Rania wrapped in her bed sheet—which I slept on last night—water dripping down her body. She’s trembling with cold, in the freezing rain with no coat. I rush to her and pull her into my arms, kissing every inch of her face, not caring how she will react.

  “Rania…” I hug her tightly. “Thank God, you’re okay. You have no idea what I’ve been through. I almost died.” I keep kissing her, savoring her physical presence. “I was so frightened. I can’t imagine my life without you.” She stands mute and unresponsive, wrapped in her cold sheet. “I promise I will never leave you alone again. Oh, Rania, you have no idea how much I love you.” I realize that in my happiness and excitement, I forgot to ask how she is. How can I be so selfish? I hold her face in my hands and ask if she’s okay, and she starts crying, shaking helplessly.

  “I lost everything, Adam. I have nothing left. My home, my possessions, my memories, everything is burned into ashes.” She trembles with pain.

  “No, baby, you will get everything back. I promise to give you everything back. I can’t thank God enough that He saved you.”

  “I am homeless, Adam. I have no shelter now.” She sounds agonized. I hear Ali calling for medical help. “My picture of my parents has been burned too. That was the only memento I had of them together.” She collapses on my chest and lets out all her fears.

  I hadn’t thought about it like that. All I cared about was that she was alive. I hadn’t considered what she had lost. The paramedics come immediately and the medical assistant says Rania is severely chilled and is in danger of developing a high fever, if she is not taken care of properly. They take her into the warm ambulance, and she’s trembling so much that she’s not even able to respond to them.

  “We need to get her wet clothes and this sheet off,” the medical officer advises me. As soon as he touches Rania to take away her sheet, she pulls away, and looks to me with blank eyes. She is not so out of it that she doesn’t know that someone is revealing her body. I know she’ll never let a man take off her clothes in front of so many people, but she isn’t realizing that the wet cold clothes could worsen her condition. I see her holding her handbag tightly under her arm. I have no clue how she managed to save her bag.

  “Mr. Gibson, we need to take her wet clothes off. Please ask her to cooperate with us.”

  “Can’t you see she’s traumatized? She won’t take her clothes off with all these people around.”

  The medical assistant sighs and says, “Okay, we’ll leave and close the door. Just get those clothes off her.” He gives me a couple of blankets, and they leave us alone in the ambulance.

  “Rania, you need to listen to the doctor and get out of those soaking clothes. I’ll turn my back and you can undress and wrap yourself in the blanket. Here.” I take off my jacket and give it to her. She is shivering too hard to hold anything. “You can wear this under the blanket, if you feel uncomfortable.” She’s shaking so much that her body won’t do what she wants. She can’t even lift her hand to take off her sheet. “I want to help you,” I say. “I will only look into your eyes and nowhere else, but please, let me do it.” She still looks at me with blank eyes. I start helping her, lifting her arms and taking off her sheet.

  She’s wearing her nightclothes. I know how modest she is, but she’s so worn out that she doesn’t even have enough energy to speak. I lock my eyes with hers so she doesn’t get the slightest idea that I’m looking at her body. I pull off her T-shirt, then draw her closer and snake my arms behind her to unhook her bra. I keep my gaze locked on hers. I pull down her pajama trousers, and she steps out of the wet clothing, holding my hand firmly. I cover her nude body with my warm jacket, buttoned up to her neck, and wrap her in the blanket. She’s wearing her bedroom slippers, which are also dripping with cold water. I take off her slippers and put my socks on her feet.

  I lay her down on the paramedic’s stretcher and call the medical officer. He checks her in detail and writes a prescription for her to take home. He informs us that she has already been given a combination of ibuprofen and diphenhydramine citrate, along with a heavy dose of sedative to calm down her fever and pain, but she has been advised to sleep well for tonight. Since she is too weak to even walk, I pick her up to carry her to my car. The photographers attack me again, taking pictures of our misery.

  “Mr. Gibson, do you know the reason for the fire?”

  “Mr. Gibson, is this the daughter of UN secretariat you have been dating, these past weeks?”

  “Mr. Gibson, can you tell us how your girlfriend is feeling right now?”

  “Mr. Gibson, we heard your girlfriend’s apartment is completely burned down. Is this true?”

  I ignore the people and make my way out of the crowd. Ali keeps pushing the reporters and photographers away from us. Rania rests in my lap all the way home.

  It takes almost twenty minutes to reach my apartment. She seems to be warming up, not shivering so hard. In the elevator, she’s very quiet, looking down at her feet covered with my socks. I have no idea what she’s feeling right now. It’s very traumatic for her to lose everything, but I vow to give it back to her. After all, her home was my haven too. When I open the door of my apartment, she smiles.

  “Is this your place, Adam?”

  “Yes. Since you’re here, you may call it home now.”

  “It’s beautiful… it’s… out of this world…” She gawks around her. “I thought homes like these only existed in magazines and commercials.” Her mood seems to be lifting, now that she’s somewhere safe. “Oh my…” She kneels down on the floor and touches the white flooring. “Holy shit, who puts marble on floors in Canada? And it’s heated…” She looks up at me with shock, still touching the floor.

  “Oh yeah! I have a thing for marbles and granites. I know most Canadians don’t use it because it’s so cold in winter, but I always used to admire marble floors in warm countries. So I installed radiant heat. Now get up, you need to rest.” I give her my hand and help her stand. She looks around the whole foyer area, admiring everything as if she’s in some magical kingdom.

  We step into the large living are
a and I see her eyes sparkling with the lights and colors of the living room.

  “Who designed all this?” She looks at me in astonishment.

  “If you’re asking from an architectural point of view, I designed this building, including the floor plan of this place, but I got some interior designers to decorate it.”

  “It’s beautiful, Adam. It seems like one of those places on HGTV million-dollar listings.”

  “Well…” I rub the back of my neck and face her. “It actually is. They were after me to film it.” She wanders around until she finds her most favorite place, the kitchen.

  “Holy crap! What a kitchen.” She covers her mouth with surprise. “Oh my… the countertop is amazing.” She spreads her arms over the granite countertop, to feel it on her fingers. I see the excitement in her eyes. I assume she hasn’t seen anything like this. “Look at the gas grill. Eight burners on one baby? Wow!” She keeps amusing herself over the appliances. “This is perfect, Adam. It is like a dream kitchen. I could spend a whole day here.”

  “Really?” Her remark surprises me. “It’s yours, anyhow.” As soon as I say the words, her expression changes.

  “I have nothing left, Adam. This is your house, not mine. I am homeless.” Tears start coming from her eyes again, and she hides her face with her hands.

  “No, baby. Please don’t cry. I promise I will bring your home back.”

  “I don’t know if the insurance… ah… none of my stuff was insured.” She speaks behind her hands.

  “Don’t worry about the insurance, Rania. I will bring back everything you had in your home. I remember every single thing. I promise everything will be okay. You are here, alive, and I don’t think we should ask for anything more than that. I still don’t know how to thank God for listening to me.” I pull her hands away from her face and wipe her tears. “I’m here, Rania, and I will never leave you. I’ll give your home back to you, just the way it was. I promise.” I take her out of the kitchen and lead her to the bedroom.

  She stops looking around the apartment; her excitement over my place is gone. Her loss has hit her again. I settle her on my bed and take some clothes from the chest of drawers.

  “Here,” I put a thick T-shirt and pajamas next to her. “You can’t sleep in this jacket. Please, change. Make yourself comfortable and try to feel at home. I’ll be out here, okay?” I kiss her on her forehead and leave the room.

  I give her plenty of time to relax on her own. My phone starts ringing as soon as I come out of the washroom. Who’s calling me so late?

  “Yes?” I pick up the unknown number.

  “Where’s Rania?” I hear a familiar voice.

  “Mike, is that you?”

  “Yes, Adam. I just heard. Where is she? I’ve been calling her for two hours.” I hear Mike’s voice breaking from worry.

  “She’s all right, Mike. Just a bit shaky. She’s lost everything. I guess her phone was in her apartment. I don’t know how she managed to escape out of that death trap.”

  “Can I talk to her?” he asks instantly.

  “I don’t think she’s in a state to talk to anyone at the moment. When I found her, she was soaked and freezing. She has a bit of a fever, but the medics treated it.” I pause for a moment and take a deep breath. “She’s in a very vulnerable state, Mike. Even I can’t talk to her.”

  “Where were you, when it happened?”

  “I was in Halifax. It took me two hours to get there.” I sigh again. “I don’t want to imagine what she was doing alone under a tree, all soaked with the rain for two hours. I’m thankful to God that she’s alive.”

  “Yes, for sure. I feel bad I wasn’t there for her. When you talk to her, please tell her I called. Tell her I tried my best to come down tonight, but because of Christmas, all the flights are booked. I’ll be back by the 25th in the afternoon.”

  “Sure, I’ll tell her. Right now, I just hope she sleeps peacefully for tonight. It’s very important for her health.” I look over at the closed door and shut my eyes.

  “Adam, do you suspect anyone is behind the fire?” Mike asks, concerned.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I just learned that the fire started in Tammy’s apartment, Rania’s next-door neighbor. She hasn’t been home for two weeks, and they say someone left the portable heater turned on in the kids’ room. I spoke to Tammy a couple of minutes ago, and she says she doesn’t have a portable heater.” My heart sinks at Mike’s words. Is Rania’s life in danger? “I know it sounds strange, Adam, but tell me, do you have any enemies?” Mike’s question shocks me.

  “But why would anyone want to harm her?”

  “They don’t necessarily want to harm her. Everyone knows about you two. Maybe someone is trying to harm you through her. It’s a passive way to torture someone.” He takes a deep breath. “I suspected Ethan Murray, but he hasn’t been in Toronto. Is there anyone else that you think might be after you?”

  “No, Mike.” I start to shiver. The thought of someone burning Rania because of me is killing me.

  “I’m going to investigate it personally. I have asked for CCTV tapes for the whole building, for the past two days. Somehow, I have a feeling this was deliberate.” I’m having trouble breathing, thinking about the implications. “Please take care of her and let me know if you find anything. I’ll call in the morning, once she’s awake.”

  Mike hangs up the phone, leaving me worried. I run to the bedroom and open the door without knocking. Rania is sleeping peacefully. She looks wan and pale. If someone wants to harm me, then why not go after me? Why would anyone hurt such an innocent soul? This is all because of me. If I hadn’t followed her that very first day, none of this would have happened. What will I do if something happens to her? I hold her hand tightly, but she doesn’t move or respond to my touch.

  I won’t let anything happen to you, Rania. I promise. I will protect you till my last breath. I love you.

  AN ENCHANTED KINGDOM

  ♀

  I open my eyes and see Adam sitting at my side, holding my hand tightly in his. He kisses me on the forehead as soon as I blink at him.

  “Good morning. How are you feeling?” He looks at me lovingly, brushing hair off my face. I look around to see where I am. I remember Adam bringing me to his place, but I don’t remember sleeping in this bed. I clearly remember Adam taking my clothes off inside the ambulance and wrapping me in the blanket, never taking his eyes off of mine. I still see how much pain he has gone through since the fire, thinking I might have been killed. My pain seems to wither in the face of his agony. It looks like he hasn’t slept for a single minute.

  “I feel heavy. My head is spinning.”

  “Do you want to sleep some more?” he asks me tenderly.

  “No. What’s the time?” I look around again.

  “It’s noon. Would you like something to eat?”

  “No, I…” I look down at myself, realizing I am wearing his clothes. I pull up my blanket to hide my upper body.

  “I’ll wait outside so you can change. I’ve got a few clothes for you to wear. They’re in the closet, there.” He points me toward a white double door. “You may find a few things in the drawers, too. Make yourself comfortable, okay?”

  He leaves and I get up, my head still feeling heavy, and find the door to the washroom. The bedroom is huge, with a custom white bed, larger than any king-size bed I have seen in my life. I notice that everything in the room is white. It looks like a cozy, serene place to relax. I can’t understand why he would leave such a nice room to sleep with me on that queen-size bed. The thought that the place where Adam liked to stay doesn’t exist anymore brings the pain rushing back.

  I step into the large washroom, with its exquisite white French vanity, cultured marble sink, and high-end faucets. I look up at the vanity light, wondering where this kind of stuff is available. I haven’t seen it
in any hardware store. The jetted bathtub is enormously huge, able fit four people easily, with their legs stretched out. The glass shower column is colossal, with a rain shower. This is kind of a washroom I’ve only seen on TV.

  I notice that there are personal products on the counter, including a new toothbrush. All of them are brands that I use, so they must be for me. He seems to have remembered everything, as if he has memorized me. I wash my face and brush my teeth, then step outside the washroom to search for the closet. I’m amazed at the size of the walk-in closet. The right side is filled with Adam’s expensive clothes and accessories. On the other side of the closet, I see feminine clothes hanging neatly. I have got a few clothes for you to wear. Does he call this a few? There are four times as many clothes as I had in my tiny closet. I touch the fabrics of the clothes, admiring the taste of whoever brought them. I can’t believe they’re actually for me, but as I pick up one shirt, I see the Holt Renfrew tag attached to it. All the clothes are new. I open the custom drawer at the side of the closet and find a number of silk and woolen scarves. In the next drawer, I see all colors of very expensive undergarments. I pick up one bra and check the size. Shit! How does he know my size? I want to hide in embarrassment. I notice none of the tags have any prices, as though they’ve been deliberately removed. A knock at the door interrupts my thoughts.

  “Are you in there, Rania?” Adam calls.

  “Umm… yes.”

  “Is everything okay? Can I come in?” He slowly peeks his head inside. “You haven’t changed yet? You didn’t like any of the clothes?”

  “Adam, this is…” I look around the closet. “Is this—”

  “This is all for you. I managed to get them this morning, when store opened. They delivered before you woke up. If anything doesn’t fit, put it aside, and I’ll get it exchanged.” He smiles affectionately at me.

  “I can’t take all this, Adam. I mean, this is too much…”

  He comes closer to me and rests his hand on my shoulder. “None of that is important now. The only thing that matters is that you’re safe. This is nothing. Please accept it. Don’t even think of it as a favor. Please.” I see the sincerity in his eyes and arguing with him means I’ll break his heart. He hugs me tightly, and I feel my body dissolving. He still looks shaky and broken from last night.