Finding Solace

by Speak, Barbara

  "Oh shit, I didn't think about that." She hurried to put them back. "It’s just hard to pick something when all Shawn likes to do is eat, drink and have sex. He can't have two of them and I'm not offering the third. It's what started this mess to begin with, remember?" She was so serious when she said it. I tried, I promise you I did, but I busted out laughing so loud that the lady working in the store scowled at me.

  "Maybe we should just get him a card and call it a day in here."

  We rode the elevator to the third floor. As we exited, the reality hit me of what we were about to see and it scared me.

  I grabbed onto Heather’s hand for support, but realized she needed mine probably more than I needed hers. Maybe this is what Colt was talking about?

  We finally, after what felt like forever, got to Shawn’s room. What I was positive shocked us both, was the sight of Jason sitting next to the bed talking to Shawn. I am not sure why that surprised me. They were great friends before all this mess. This sounds horrible, but maybe Jason thought it was a golden opportunity for him to explain himself, while Shawn couldn’t interrupt. I personally was thinking it was a good time to leave. We could always come back; I just wanted Jason to have his time. Just as I was going to suggest it to Heather, Shawn looked up and noticed us. His eyes lit up when they locked with mine. Even with all the contraptions on his head, he was gorgeous. I think no matter what, he always would be to me. These guys were like family to me. I started walking over to the other side of the bed. When I got there, I reached out to take his hand. I couldn’t take the smile off my face. I was scared before, but now I just thought about how silly that was. I was just so grateful he was here. That eventually he would be okay. That he knew how loved he was. It was not really fair that he was from Oklahoma and his family didn’t fly in. I did not understand how parents could hear of something like this happening to their child and not get the first flight out. I guess not everyone was as lucky as I was. It made me want to go visit my mom and dad. Jason stood and walked out into the hall with Heather. I had yet to find out what was going on with the two of them. She says they are working on it. That was all. Someday I was going to get that girl to crack. I am not nosy, I just wanted more details. I am a girl after all, we love our details. I turned my attention back to Shawn after he squeezed my hand.

  "Hey there, good lookin'! I didn't forget about you." I let go of his hand and then pulled over a chair so I could sit down.

  "So I'm guessing people have been filling in any blanks you might have had already. I hope you understand how I came to that conclusion and don't blame me for it. We all reacted poorly. Well everyone except you. I would understand if you chose not to forgive us. Jason is the hardest and I certainly get that. I'm not making excuses for him, believe me. He showed up that night at our place. He had driven all the way back after the fight to see her. Because she didn't know what happened between you two, she pulled away. I watched him struggle with how she was acting. It was horrible. So I think when he heard us talking, something just snapped inside him." He closed his eyes. It was as if he was trying to tell me something, but couldn’t. That has to be the worst feeling. Wanting to communicate, but you can't. All of a sudden I had an idea. What about writing it down on a pad of paper? I asked Shawn if he would excuse me for a second and I walked out into the hall to find a nurse. Heather and Jason were nowhere to be seen. I located a nurse coming out of another room and bum rushed her.

  "Excuse me ma’am’, but my friend is in room 312 and he has his jaw wired shut. It seems he wants to talk. Can we have a pad of paper and a pen please?"

  "Honey, with your friend’s concussion, we don't feel he should be focusing that hard on writing yet. But that is the next step, I promise."

  I thanked her and walked back to his room. This time I found Heather in there. I knew I needed to give them time, so I went looking for Jason. I walked the entire floor but he wasn't there. I decided to go back downstairs and see if maybe he was somewhere down there. After looking everywhere I could think of, I decided he must have left. I was getting bored. I pulled out my phone and called Colt. There was a good chance he wouldn't answer. Between classes, wrestling and now having to cover Shawn’s shifts, as well as his own at ‘51’, he had little to no extra time. So I was in complete shock when he answered.

  "Hey there, beautiful! What's going on with ya?"

  "Heather and I just came up to the hospital to see Shawn. She's in there now and I just wanted to give them space, so I thought I'd call you. I got bored."

  "So that's how it’s going to be? I only get to hear from you when you’re bored?" He loved to give me shit.

  "That's not what I meant and you know it. I didn't even think you would answer."

  "Really, then why did you call? Were you going to leave me a kinky message? Because I can hang up if you’re too embarrassed to tell me yourself."

  "Do you ever quit?" I was laughing. And it felt good to laugh after being upstairs. Maybe there was some truth to what he was saying the other day. Maybe, just maybe, I did need him. But what was he getting from me?

  "Nope, you, my beautiful girl, are just too fun to tease. So what are you doing for dinner tonight? Can I steal you away?"

  "I have a couple of clients I have to go in for, but I could meet up around eight o’clock. Is that too late?"

  "I will make it work if I get to spend time with you."

  "Does that work with all the girls?" Oh shit, did I just say that out loud?

  He stayed quiet for long enough that I knew it registered. I played cleanup as fast as I could.

  "What? You can joke, but I can't? He recovered quickly.

  "Of course you can. So anyway, eight o’clock, where do you want to meet?"

  "Steak sounds good. You have to name the place."

  "What about Rookies?"

  "Isn't that a sports bar?"

  "Sure is, but they have the best steaks around."

  "Alright, then I will see you there around eight."

  "Can't wait."

  What was it with him and the charm? Does he ever turn it off?

  "Bye, Colt."

  "Goodbye, Sadie."

  CHAPTER 14

  I got to the sports bar a little after eight o’clock. I walked in and eyes from all directions just seemed to be staring at me. Okay, maybe I did look a little out of place dressed in a bright orange wrap dress, that showed just enough cleavage to leave you wanting more, and electric blue heels. I had just come from work, remember?

  It took me awhile to find Colt and when I did, I could have killed him. He was smiling from ear to ear. I knew at that point he had been watching me walk around in circles trying to find him. I walked over to the table, pulled out a chair and sat down.

  "You enjoy that?"

  "You are more amazing than you know. It’s just too bad you found me so fast. I love every guy looking at you and being able to know you’re with me."

  "You’re lucky alright. Two more seconds and I would have been out the door. But to be honest, I’m pretty lucky myself. You’re looking mighty sexy yourself." He had on a hunter green sweatshirt and a pair of worn faded jeans. He never needed to try, he always just looked hot!

  The waitress came over to take our drink order. Colt spoke before I had the chance. "We will just take two Bud Lights to start."

  I controlled my facial expression, but inside I was completely shocked. What if she cards me? I'm going to look like a complete idiot.

  "Did you guys want an appetizer also? I can put the order in now so it will be ready?" Holy shit, this was working!

  "Yes, please. A split fried onion would be great, unless you want something different?" He looked over at me and it took everything I had not to let my eyes bug out of their sockets. I didn't want the attention on me, so I just shook my head no.

  "Then that's what we'll take. Thanks."

  He dismissed her and brought his focus back to me looking me up and down.

  "I really like that dress."

&n
bsp; "Thanks." I really needed to switch the subject. "So I haven’t heard much about Maddie lately. What’s new with her?"

  "I just got off the phone with Jamie when I got here. Apparently, she learned how to ride a bike, with training wheels of course, but I missed it. It sucks so bad, being away from her."

  "Have you ever thought about transferring your credits to a school that's closer?"

  "Every damn day, but I can't. EIU was the only full ride scholarship that was offered to me. I don't want to add debt to my degree. It’s hard enough trying to send them money. They get all of my extra, you know?"

  "I understand. That sucks. To think, money is the only thing keeping you here is awful."

  "It’s not the only thing, beautiful." He grabbed my hand and started running his thumb back and forth across it.

  "Well, I can't say I'm regretting your decision either."

  "I couldn't be happier hearing you say that. Have you thought about what you want to eat?"

  Just as he said it, the waitress came back with our drinks. I diverted my attention so she did not look in my direction. She placed them on the table and said she was going to check on our appetizer.

  "Why are you being so skittish? Your birthday is in less than a month. After that you will never have to worry. Do you think she can tell you are a couple weeks too young?" I looked at him like it was definitely a possibility.

  "Give me a break! Sadie, you are going to be just fine."

  I went back to looking over the menu. It was a pretty easy choice considering if filet was an option, I was getting it. Colt told me he was getting a New York strip and asked me what I was having. I told him and went back to the menu to pick my sides. Pretty soon the waitress came back with the split onion and asked if we had decided. Colt ordered for both of us and it felt like we were a real couple.

  Dinner was as amazing as Colt had said it would be. I was in shock that a sports bar served food that good. Colt paid the check but we still had not finished our drinks. It is funny looking back at how scared I was of getting caught, when we were on our fourth round. She never questioned me at all. As easy as it was, I was not tempting fate again until I am legal. At least not anywhere except the alley. But thinking about that made me wonder if we were still allowed there after the last time.

  "I was just thinking. Do you think we lost rights to the alley because of the Jason and Shawn thing?"

  "Nope, I talked to the owner, Jack, already. The deal we set in place still stands. It wouldn’t be fair to all my employees, or theirs, if that happened."

  "I never thought about it like that before. I always knew whoever ran ‘51’ hooked up the deal with the bowling alley, I just never put two and two together that it was you. Smart move, old man."

  "So we are back to the old man thing again, huh? You sure like throwing that one around. But I don't think I'm too old to please you, am I? "

  "Why do you assume your enough for me? There you go giving yourself too much credit again."

  Colt looked away. I mean, really looked away. Almost as if he didn't want me to see his face. I had to rescue him from whatever thought was consuming him.

  "You gonna finish that beer, or what?" I thought maybe a complete conversation change could help, but he only brought us right back to where we were.

  "You bet, because when I'm done we are going back to my place."

  What? Where did that come from?

  "Oh really? There goes that over confident thing again."

  "Here's the deal. You burned me with that one the first time. Now I have to prove that you’re full of shit. And the only way I can do that is to take you home and fuck the shit out of you."

  Holy shit! My panties feel like a tidal wave just took them over. I can’t show him he had that effect on me. He chose the way things are. I refuse to look like I was drooling over him. Which is so what I was doing.

  "Do you really need to prove that to yourself?"

  He stood up. The chair he was sitting on flew back as he came around to my side of the table. He held out his hand for me to take, but his eyes weren't the eyes of a gentleman, they were filled with lust. I placed my hand in his and let him pull me from my chair. When I came to a standing position he pulled me in by wrapping his arm around the small of my back. Being this close, I could smell him, feel him, God, I wanted him, damn it!

  "You are coming home with me. Can I trust you to drive your own car or have you had too much to drink?"

  I had to be responsible. I could just stay here awhile longer and drink some water. What the hell is wrong with me? Colt Jennings just told me he was taking me home. So out came, "No, you can't trust me to drive, so I guess you’re going to have to take me home. Or you can take me to my house. I can always get a cab...ouch! What did you do that for?" He pinched my ass, and it hurt.

  "So you would shut up. You’re going with me, the end." He grabbed my hand and led me through the bar and out to his car. He opened the passenger door for me. When he got in, as soon as the key turned, the speakers started to play one of the best CDs of all time, Sublime.

  He reached to turn it down and I smacked his hand away only to turn it back up. ‘Santeria’ is by far my favorite song on this album. Colt didn't attempt to change it again but I could sense something happened to his mood.

  "What's wrong?"

  "This song always makes me think about Maddie and Jamie. It just messes with me sometimes."

  I had forgotten he was talking to Jamie earlier. I probably just killed the fun for the night making him talk about that. So I just offered for him to take me home again.

  "Woman, are you crazy? What makes you think I would want to have my bed empty tonight if I could have you in it?"

  That's all he needed to say. We finished listening to ‘The Song’ and then came the song, ‘Pawn Shop’. Now if he tells me this song has some funky meaning, I'm just going to have to hurt him. Luckily we got to his house before it was over. That meant I could have a little fun. I rushed out of the car, turning it all the way up on my way out. I left the door open so I could hear it while I danced like a fool in the parking lot. He just laughed at me as usual. The song ended and we went inside.

  It felt different from the last time. For starters, he was holding my hand as we walked into the family room. He sat down on the couch and pulled me to the side of him, and turned Sports Center on the TV. What is going on? I thought he would be ravishing me, ripping my clothes off and making me scream. Instead I got, TV. I grabbed the remote and changed the channel to watch Storage Wars. Not that I loved this show, by any means, but it was neutral territory at least. We cuddled for hours watching shows and talking about nothing. It was so normal. So why did normal feel so strange?

  I started to fall asleep. I eventually went to lay my head in his lap, but just as I was about to get comfortable, he popped up off the couch.

  "Sorry, baby girl. I just wanted to grab an ashtray before you trapped me for the night under you."

  I sat up and thought, “he does not smoke cigarettes”. Then he came back with the ash tray and set it down on the end table. Colt sat back down on the couch and pulled me back to lying in his lap. He ran his hands through my hair. If he only knew how good it felt. I could stay right here forever. As I drifted off to sleep the smell of marijuana was filling the air.

  CHAPTER 15

  I stirred awake as Colt was carrying me to bed. I haven't figured out yet why if I drink and then stop, it makes me so tired. He gently set me down on the bed and then started to undress me. I had not let him know yet that I was no longer asleep, this was kind of fun. First, he untied the string on the right side of the dress. Then he pulled it open and untied the one on the left. With that done, he opened it to reveal my electric blue bra and panties that I intentionally wore to match my shoes. I know when I got dressed this morning I had no intention of anyone seeing it. It just makes me feel sexy to know it is there. I heard him gasp as he took in how I looked. He took a step back from me. I do not know why becau
se I still had my eyes closed, but the idea of him standing over me staring, made me arch my back and a moan came from somewhere inside of me. He must have taken that as his cue because the next thing I knew, I was feeling his tongue run up the length of my stomach. It must really have been his lucky day, because this particular bra had a front clasp. He noticed this and it was undone in seconds. When he drug his tongue along the under curve of my breast, all bets were off. I arched my pelvis and grabbed his hair with both hands. By this time he knew I was awake. He continued to journey the entire length of my body with that mouth. But this felt sensual, not erotic. He removed all my clothing along with his own. Colt slowly sank back down on the bed and covered me like a blanket. He rested his elbows above my shoulders and brought his lips to mine. When he kissed me, it always felt soft. He sucked and played with my lips and only gave me a taste of his tongue before pulling back. It drove me crazy with want. I ran my hands along his back and then dug my nails in to let him know I was ready for more. He sat up and grabbed a condom. I took it from him and tore open the wrapper. He stayed as still as a statue and as I rolled it on, I could feel how ready he was for me also. His eyes rolled into the back of his head from my action. When I finished, he grabbed me and threw me back on to the bed. He drove himself into me and we spent the better part of the night fulfilling each other’s fantasies. The best sleep of my life always came when he had his arms wrapped around me.

  Colt woke up before me. I knew this because I could smell bacon. I love bacon!

  I went through his drawers until I found some boxer shorts and a tank top. After I got dressed, I went to the bathroom and found myself brushing my teeth with his toothbrush without one single gag. I walked into the kitchen and found Colt dicing tomatoes. What a way to wake up after a great night of sleep.

  "Good morning, beautiful. Did you sleep well?"

  A smile crept up my face. It is like he read my thoughts.

  "I sure did, you?”

  "With you, there's no better way to sleep. Hope you like omelets."