Skeletons

by McFadden, Shimeka

  Running into Keith at a club one night was just the opportunity that I needed to confront him about his philandering ways. He had been drinking with his fraternity brothers and fellow St. Louis County police officers from Kappa Psi Kappa so when I walked up to him he didn’t know who I was and grabbed my ass.

  “How dare you touch me while your wife, my sister lay in bed pregnant with your child!” I yelled over the loud music.

  “I didn’t know that it was you.” He slurred.

  “Would it have made it better if I’d been some girl on the street and not Pandia’s sister?”

  “I said that I was sorry, damn why do you always have to act like such a bitch towards me.”

  I reached back to slap his face, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me in to him so close that I could feel the erection beginning to form in his pants, “If I didn’t know any better I’d say that you wanted me Asteria.”

  “If you knew any better you’d let me the fuck go before you wind up missing a few teeth Keith.” I spat.

  Letting me go he beckoned the bartender, “Let me buy you a drink and let’s talk sis.”

  Rolling my eyes I allowed him to buy me a Grey Goose and Cranberry and we found a spot to talk.

  “Why do you hate me Asteria, I haven’t done anything to you.”

  “I don’t hate you; I just hate you for my sister.”

  “But why, I haven’t done anything to her.”

  Rolling my eyes I spat, “Yet. You may have Pandia fooled, Keith, but trust me I know the game and I play it very well.”

  Keith put his hand on my exposed thigh, “Come on sis, and don’t treat me like the enemy when all that I want to be is your friend.”

  I didn’t pull away.

  The more we drank, the more we talked and the more I loosened up to Keith. I found him to be funny and very attractive. Before long I was in his arms, he was in my bed, I was on top of him and he was inside of me. Our affair began as one drunken night of lust over three years and one son ago.

  Telling Keith that I was pregnant was the hardest thing in my life, he insisted that I get an abortion, but I really wanted a baby so I refused. Keith didn’t talk to me the entire pregnancy even when I threatened to tell Pandia who I was pregnant by. He laughed my threat off knowing that I’d never do anything to hurt my sister. It hurt to see my sister and her husband happy over the birth of her son while my own pregnancy was one that I spent alone. Everyone asked me about the whereabouts of Latif’s father, but I would lie and tell him that he moved away.

  Feeling lonely as I often did when Keith couldn’t spend the night with me; I picked up the phone and dialed Jovanna who was still in South Beach.

  “Hey what are you doing up so late?” She asked.

  Yawning I answered, “Not much, I just couldn’t sleep.”

  “Why, what is the matter?”

  “Boy trouble.” I pouted.

  “Tell me all about it.”

  Knowing that I could never tell my best friend that I was sleeping with my sister’s husband I lied and told her that I was seeing some random guy who could never stay the night with me.

  “You need to cut him loose Asteria. If a man can’t make time for you then what is the need for him to be in your life? It is obvious to me that he has someone else otherwise he could’ve spent the night with you. He wasn’t trying to run out of there when he was getting his dick wet, was he? Asteria you have got to stop letting this man use you like this.” She fussed.

  Feeling sorry for myself I said, “You are right Jovanna, but I love him.”

  “Well that love is one sided.”

  “He has told me that he loves me too.”

  “Saying it and showing it are two different things. I’d rather a man never tell me that he loved me, but instead showed me how he felt than a man telling me bullshit just to get what he wants while not showing me shit.”

  I sighed, “You are right.”

  “Get it together Asteria; you can do so much better baby.” Her tone softened.

  “Maybe it is time for me to call it off with him.”

  “I’m not going to make that decision. You stand alone in this.”

  “Thanks for the advice, but now I have to get to sleep.”

  She laughed, “I bet your ass is tired.”

  “Good bye Jovanna.”

  “Good night love.” She said before hanging up.

  I knew that I wouldn’t break things off with Keith, I loved him too much and I had too much time invested in him to just end things. Besides Keith promised me that he was going to leave Pandia after Keith Jr. started kindergarten and he and I would move to Seattle, with our son. Until then I’ll just have to wait, but at the rate we were going forever seemed like a long time.

  9

  Santana

  Standing naked in the hot, steamy bathroom I examined my body as if I were looking at a stranger for the first time. I poured warm almond oil in my hands and ran it along my arms, my breasts and ending at my stomach. I really needed to start joining Jovanna and Justin on their jogs, but I was far too busy for that. I’ve always had a nice body, but after Mya was born I kept a few of the pounds that I’d gained during my pregnancy. At the age of twenty-four my breasts were still tight and perky; now that I’m thirty-four I can tell the skin starting to lose its tightness. Holding one breast in my hand I squeezed it running the pad of my fingers over my nipple making it hard. Doing the same with my right breast I closed my eyes and ran my tongue across my lips.

  Pouring more oil in my palms I ran my hands from my ankles, to my calf and up to my full thighs. I spread my thighs apart and ran my hands along the smooth skin of my pussy. I began getting a full bikini wax when Mike and I were still making love three or four times a week, but now that the love-making stopped, waxing was just a habit. I turned on the faucet and sat on the edge of the toilet with my legs spread. Rubbing my clit in a circular motion I bit my bottom lip as not to moan, but the electricity was so intense that I could not help it. With my pointer and middle finger I plunged deep inside of my wetness causing my eyes to roll to the back of my head and my legs to jerk.

  “God.” I moaned softly hoping the sound of the running water would drown out any noise that might be heard from the other side of the bathroom door.

  Deeper and deeper I plunged my fingers inside of my wanting body as the feelings grew more intense and the pressure began to build. Holding on to the side of the sink my body moved with my fingers. My fingers played me like a harp and with every stroke I sang a melody that only I could appreciate until a knock came at the door.

  I swallowed hard, “What?”

  “Hey I need to get in there.” Mike said.

  Breathing hard, I slid my fingers out of my body, “I’m just about finished.”

  “Hurry up, it’s getting late.”

  Rolling my eyes, Mike sure knew how to fuck up a good orgasm.

  After I washed my hands I stormed out of the bathroom cutting my eyes at Mike as he lay across the bed with the remote control in his hands.

  “What is wrong with you Santana?” he asked as he kept his eyes glued to ESPN.

  “Nothing.” I shot.

  “I know that nothing usually means something in women’s terms.” He said, “So what is going on?”

  “Mike, when was the last time we had sex?” I asked.

  “I don’t know, last week I guess.”

  “And are you fine with that?”

  He shrugged.

  “So you don’t care?”

  “No, I didn’t say that I didn’t care, but sex isn’t all that important to me anymore.”

  “Sex is a huge part of a marriage.”

  “What are you saying Santana; do you want to have sex tonight?” Mike asked never taking his eyes off of Sports Center.

  I just looked at him in disbelief.

  “If you want to have sex let’s do it because I have a very busy day tomorrow, the head honchos are coming in to go over some things and I want to
get some sleep tonight.” Mike turned the TV off and put the remote down on the bed as he turned toward me.

  Turning my back on him I pulled the chocolate duvet back, “Since you have such a busy day tomorrow you’d better get some rest.” I said, pissed.

  “Why do you have to make this so difficult?” he asked as he kissed the side of my neck, his breath smelled like beer.

  “Mike, I’m not in the mood.”

  “What, but you just said…”

  I looked him in his brown eyes and said sternly, “I am not in the mood.”

  Defeated Mike walked into the bathroom slamming the door. I wonder if he was in there finishing up where I began.

  We didn’t say two words to one another the next morning as we went through our usual morning routine of getting ready for work and getting the kids to school. I watched my husband, the man who at one time could make me come just with one kiss, the man who could at one time make me moan with one touch on my thigh and now he was the man who I no longer felt attracted to. We walked out to our separate cars and waited for one of us to initiate the goodbye kiss.

  “Is this about last night?”

  I glanced at the silver Donna Karen watch that dangled from my wrist with irritation and leaned forward giving Mike a quick peck on the cheek before turning to my own car leaving him standing in awe.

  “Good morning beautiful!” Tabitha chimed as soon as I walked past her desk. She looked even more beautiful than usual in tan pencil skirt that hit her knees and fit her as if the designer made it with her dimensions in mind. The matching jacket hugged her waist and breasts with precision and accuracy and the brown belt that she wore only further accented the fact that Tabitha was a bad bitch.

  “Good morning Tabitha.” I smiled back suprised at how no matter how bad my day started out seeing Tabitha only made it better.

  She handed me a stack of messages, “Mr. Gold called again and wants to meet with you A.S.A.P.” She winked.

  Rolling my eyes I balled that message up and tossed it in her trash, “he always wants to meet with me A.S.A.P about nothing.”

  “Hey did you get the invitation to my party that I emailed you yet?”

  I looked around the busy office making sure no one heard that question as it is frowned upon for upper management to fraternize with their employees. “No, but I’ll check when I get a chance.”

  My text message alert chimed as soon as I sat in my chair and turned on my computer, it was Mike.

  Babe what did I do this time?

  I texted back:

  Nothing Mike you did absolutely nothing.

  Then turned off my cellphone; I really didn’t feel like this shit today.

  After lunch I sat down and opened the email from Tabitha wearing nothing more than a sheer lace bra and panty set with a pair of stilettos, a come hither look in her eyes and a sexy pout on her full red lips.

  It was an evite to her twenty-seventh birthday party for that Saturday at The Loft. Smiling at the very seductive picture which was in pure Tabitha fashion, I hovered my mouse over decline just before I clicked the button I looked over at my calendar to see if I had an alibi as to why I couldn’t attend her party. Saturday was clear, as usual. Mr. Gold had a strict policy about intermingling with between employees, he said that it causes too many distractions when we should be working and I agreed with him, but I really needed to get out of the house and I was curious to see what it would be like to live one night in Tabitha’s world. Reluctantly I hit accept on the evite and closed the picture before I got caught for looking at porn.

  As much as I hated to admit it I was looking forward to a night without Mike and the kids, a night for me to have a reason to stay up past midnight and not have to fall asleep while Mike held the remote and watch ESPN until he finally fell asleep.

  10

  Jovanna

  Exhaling a sigh of relief as we boarded the airplane for our flight back to St. Louis and away from my past. Putting a piece of gum in my mouth and my iPod ear buds in my ears I tried to zone out while listening to Chrissette Michelle, but my mind was not allowing me escape no matter how high up in the sky the airplane climbed my thoughts were still grounded in Memphis.

  The memories were still so fresh in my mind that I could almost smell the scent of thick smoke, cheap perfume and stale pussy that burned my nostrils every time I inhaled. That aroma is an odor that I will never forget no matter how much top shelf perfume that I bought. Unlike most of the girls at the Honey Lounge, stepping out on stage was something that I never got used to. Most times I would have to drink three Tom Collins and smoke a blunt before I heard my song being played for me to go out and perform.

  With Prince’s, Scandalous, thumping through the speakers I would walk on stage after the DJ announced my stage name, Marquita, to the guests. Donning a blonde wig, four and a half inch stilettos that I could barely keep my balance in and a two piece outfit that almost covered my ass; I would slowly strut out onto the stage. As the music played I swayed to the silver pole and touched it softly at first, just I would touch a man, then grabbing the pole I snaked my body around it slowly with the tempo of the music. Closing my eyes I’d imagine that I was not at the Honey Lounge, but that I was dancing for my man, alone in our home while our children slept peacefully in their beds and he watched me lovingly instead of like I was a piece of meat. I had to remove myself from my reality in order to give the men in the club their fantasy.

  With my back to the cold metal pole I lifted my arms above my head grabbing the pole as I slid down the length of it parting my legs inches as I slid down the pole. Once in a squatting position I lay on the hardwood floor on my stomach with my back arched with my round ass were in the air and my legs spread, the pole resting in between my ass cheeks. With my eyes closed I could hear the money being dropped on the stage, if I were nothing I was an expert at earning money at the Honey Lounge. Rising up on my knees I unzipped my top exposing the soft flesh of my fresh seventeen-year old breast, making sure to graze each one of them with my fingertips.

  Wrapping my left leg around the cold pole I swirled around it getting lost in Prince’s voice, his soft whimpers made me moan as I imagined that I was with my lover. Removing the short skirt that covered the barely there thong I wrapped both legs around the pole, leaned back arching my back. For my finale I walked to the edge of the stage, turned around slowly bending at the waist and grabbed my ankles giving the men who were lucky enough to be in the front of the stage a good view. I was not listening to the whistles, cat calls or the men saying what they would do to me later that night as they begged to take me home; I silenced all of that and the only sounds in my ears was the seductive ballad that Prince sang and the soft sounds of money hitting the stage.

  Nudging me out of my trance, Tony asked, “Are you alright?”

  Smiling I shook my head, closing my eyes, washing my inner turmoil to the tranquil sounds of neo-soul music.

  Later that evening as Justin and I lay wrapped in one another’s arms my mind was still in limbo. Justin pulled away from me, looking at me with his deep blue eyes he said, “You seem distant today.”

  Moving hair from my face I said, “I’m fine, I guess that I’m just tired.”

  “Maybe you should take a break from everything for a while.” He suggested.

  “I wish that I could Justin, but I have another party coming up.”

  “I thought that the winter months were your slow season.”

  “This is slow baby.” I kissed him on the tip of his nose.

  “I just don’t want you to over-work yourself.”

  “I’m fine; I guess that I’m still a little drained from the party; it got pretty wild.” I got out of bed and walked into the living room to turn up the thermostat, Justin and I were at a never-ending war about the temperature in our house. He liked the house to be at a cool sixty-five degrees where as my people are from Africa and we need the heat so I often cranked the heat up to eighty degrees.

  “Leave the
thermostat alone Jovanna, it feels good in here.” He yelled from the bedroom.

  Smiling I walked back into our bedroom, “I don’t know what you are talking about Justin.”

  “Yeah right.” He snickered as he turned over on his back.

  Kissing him softly on his chest I climbed on top of my soon-to-be husband and wrapped my body around his, “Justin, are there things in your past that you are so ashamed of that you would never tell anyone about?”

  Frowning Justin looked at me, “What do you mean?”

  “I mean are there things that you have done in your past that you are ashamed of and if anyone found out about you’d be forced to move out of town and change your name.” I asked as I toyed with his sandy blonde hair.

  “Well, I did impregnate an elderly nun when I was in Catholic school.” He joked.

  “I’m serious.” I said jabbing him in the side.

  “To be honest Jovanna, there is nothing in my past that I have to be ashamed of. I have led a normal, stereotypical Caucasian life. What about you; do you have any skeletons in your closet that I should know about?”

  I wanted to tell Justin the truth, but I knew that that truth would cost me the man that I loved so I lied, “Not really, my life was pretty boring too.”

  “I guess that we are just two boring people and that is why I love your boring ass.” He whispered as he kissed me on my forehead, “Now get off of me so we can get some sleep.”

  I felt terrible for not coming clean to Justin, but I couldn’t let him know about my past and I would do anything to keep this secret hidden from him.

  11

  Asteria

  Fridays were usually our busiest day as clients got their hair done for their weekend activities. While Pandia was styling a client’s hair I was in the office looking for new stylist chairs for the booths. Since the salon was doing so well Pandia and I decided to remodel it and I was enjoying shopping for new furniture and fixtures to make Gods and Goddesses one of the best salons around. Hearing a familiar voice I walked out of the office and saw Keith standing at the reception desk kissing Pandia on the cheek.